RE: Why do you enjoy buying things to your dom/me?

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RE: Why do you enjoy buying things to your dom/me? - 10/14/2010 6:44:18 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

If you buy your partner a toy with the expectation that he's going to use it on you even if he doesn't like it, then that's wrong. You have expectations here which you are not being honest about. If you see a tawse and really want to try it out, then ask your partner first if he would use it, explain your attraction to it, and then buy it for your own toy bag. That way you still have it even if he doesn't like it, but some future partner may.

Beyond that, try giving gifts that really aren;t for yourself. Give him a dvd of some movie he loved, or a tv show he enjoyed watching years ago. Bake him his favorite treat.

But it is wrong to claim it's a present when really it's for you. And that's why you talk about it first, so it isn't a present but something you both want to try. At the very least, get him the toy in addition to a birthday or XMas present that really is just for him.

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RE: Why do you enjoy buying things to your dom/me? - 10/14/2010 10:47:55 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I buy gifts for him because it feels good to do so and see his reacation. Even though he does not like me to spend money on him. So sometimes i will just back him a treat since he has a sweet tooth. I think he likes my homemade baked goods the best.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: Why do you enjoy buying things to your dom/me? - 10/14/2010 1:57:39 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

The art and sincerity of gift giving and receiving shouldn't change simply because the relationship is a D/s dynamic.
I have a feeling you are reading too many of the financial domme profiles. True gifts come from the heart, not by demand.

This. I love love LOVE giving people gifts. I hate hate HATE an expectation of a gift, either towards me, or of me. HATE IT!

One of the most treasured gifts I've ever gotten. A pink rock that a wonderful woman hiked up a mountain to get, just for me. Certainly not the most expensive gift I've ever received, I've gotten some amazing jewelry over the years, but definitely the most treasured.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Why do you enjoy buying things to your dom/me? - 10/14/2010 6:42:28 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

If I'm out and I see something that I think he'll like and I have the extra funds then I get it for him.
There is never an expectation of anything in return. It's not why I bought it in the first place.

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The Red

(in reply to behavingbadly)

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RE: Why do you enjoy buying things to your dom/me? - 10/18/2010 5:20:15 PM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

Greetings

People in various relationships have been buying gifts for one another for a really long time, there is nothing wrong with that. Some BDSMers have gift giving as a part of the dynamic, like a sub giving his or her Dom a tribute. Many is against this, but in my opinion as long as all involved are consensual adults then what is the problem. If you like buying your Mistress gifts from her Amazon wish list and you can afford it I see no problem with it if that is what you two want to do in your dynamic.

I like getting gifts for the people I love. I like making them happy. Gift giving have never been part of my BDSM dynamics however, and when I was a slave my Master was the one that usually got me gifts. Now that he is my free companion he is still a very generous man. The latest thing he got me was two downloadable games for my Nintendo DSi called Soul of Darkness and Dracula Awakening.

Anyway, if gift giving disturbs you, do not do it, if it makes you happy and you can afford it, do it, there is no bigger deal than that. If you are into giving tributes or giving your Mistress gift there is nothing wrong with that, many people have that kink, if you want to give her a gift just because you care about her, then there is nothing wrong with that either. If you are worried that your intentions behind the gift ming be misunderstood then speak with your Mistress about it. People give one another gifts, it is a nice thing to do for one another, especially when one do not expect anything in return.

I wish you well.

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Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

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