RE: Honor and dishonor

RE: Honor and dishonor (Full Version)

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Real0ne -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/26/2006 3:30:38 PM)
lie or cheat

RiotGirl -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/26/2006 6:57:12 PM)
quote: What do you feel the most dishonorable things a Dominant can do are? I would like to think that Dominants are honor bound and above lying and abuse. However I am a realist and was curious as to what your thoughts and experiences on the topic were. Loki using trust against you

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/26/2006 8:07:42 PM)
Off Topic....I noticed Cerckl...welcome back[:)]..Tempting

Wulfchyld -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/26/2006 8:12:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub Off Topic....I noticed Cerckl...welcome back[:)]..Tempting Slaps TemptingNviceSub back on topic then wonders if that was the honorable thing to do. Smiling Loki

CERCKL -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/26/2006 10:00:22 PM)
quote: quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub Off Topic....I noticed Cerckl...welcome back[:)]..Tempting Slaps TemptingNviceSub back on topic then wonders if that was the honorable thing to do. Smiling Loki Thank you Tempting, been a difficult time... C ...as much as I appreciate the name 'Loki' and it's association, I wouldn't suggest slapping me <g>

Lordandmaster -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/26/2006 10:07:59 PM)
I'd have to say the most dishonorable thing I could do is to betray a friend. quote: ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld What do you feel the most dishonorable things a Dominant can do are?

shimmerUK -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/27/2006 4:41:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld What do you feel the most dishonorable things a Dominant can do are? I would like to think that Dominants are honor bound and above lying and abuse. I agree with you. Lying is a the worst thing. Abuse can be a judgement call, but lying is more a black and white case.

BrianSenior -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/27/2006 12:25:59 PM)
I agree with many different takes on this topic, from the idea of child abuse (I would put that on top as well- I did not see the question being like that as it was addressed to Dominants, and knowing that it does not take a Dominant person but instead a sick minded person) to lies/deception with holding communication to Me is the same as a lie as well. I agree with most that have been posted. ~BK~

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/27/2006 8:01:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub Off Topic....I noticed Cerckl...welcome back[:)]..Tempting Slaps TemptingNviceSub back on topic then wonders if that was the honorable thing to do. Smiling Loki ...LOL...ow?...hehehehe....Tempting[:D]

Vendaval -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/27/2006 9:20:31 PM)
Not everyone who aspires to or uses a title is worthy of that title, far from it. The obvious answers have been stated; murder, rape, child abuse, hurting someone weaker or less able to fend for themselves. I would add, deliberately destroying another human being's self-confidence and self-esteem, dehumanizing them until they loose the will to live and dying seems more mercilful than living. Thought provoking question Loki. Thank you, -Vendaval- quote: ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld What do you feel the most dishonorable things a Dominant can do are? I would like to think that Dominants are honor bound and above lying and abuse. However I am a realist and was curious as to what your thoughts and experiences on the topic were. Allow me to clarify it with “Within a D/s relationship.” Loki

rapture2778 -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/28/2006 8:28:01 AM)
agreeing with Celeste...outside of the moral "no-no's" i see pretending to be something you aren't or don't understand...many proclaim to be something that they really have no clue what it means to be...they think if they can "front" that they understand the lifestyle, it will increase their chances of getting laid! i also think not being consistent is a "let down" if i am expected to remember the rules, he should be "observant" enough to follow through with them....

domtimothy46176 -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/28/2006 8:46:41 AM)
I may be far afield in respect to the timbre of this discussion, but I can't see honor as a relative term. In my mind, to consciously betray one's values, mores, principles is to dishonor oneself. There is no lesser or greater dishonor, as far as I can see it, there is only the issue of whether one will live with or without honor. Timothy

plantlady64 -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/28/2006 10:59:02 AM)
Breaking contracts, pretending to be someone other than who they were & lying about things. Honor to me is based on the integrity of someone. Someone who lies or does not honor their word or contract brings shame to their whole house.

dincubus -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/30/2006 8:33:57 PM)
Here is my list of what i would consider the most dishonorable things that a Dominant could do, with-in the D/s relationship: #1. Lying to one's submissive #2. Not keeping one's word #3. purposefully going beyond a hard limit #4. Injuring the submissive, either physically or emotionally because of any sort of activity that had happened. (i.e. if the submissive was spanked and it was not a hard limit for them, but there was serious physical damage) #5. abandoning the submissive without contact or release #6. not respecting limits that is just a short list, there are more. but i think y'all get what i was trying to say quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld What do you feel the most dishonorable things, within a D/s context, a Dominant can do are? Top of my list, setting aside your own morals, ethics or values as subjugation to another. I've seen it far to often where a Dominant will buckle under to keep or get a submissive/slave which, in my mind, means they are not a dominant at all. I've also seen many instances where a Dominant will back peddle in their beliefs or morals just to smooth things over and still churning waters in dealing with a fellow Dominant, not because they believe a differing stance, but because it's easier to do so. That, to me, is dishonorable as well. If your belief in something is strong, it doesn't mean you can't or won't listen to other opinions and perhaps take on a differing belief because a sound argument has changed your mind, but to take on something which is not your own, which you don't believe ... I wonder where the dominance hides at times. Celeste

TexasMaam -> RE: Honor and dishonor (4/30/2006 9:03:21 PM)
The most dishonorable thing a Dom/Domme can do is deliberately not provide needed aftercare. Lying vs honesty, and other virtues vs faults, are common to us all whether BDSM related or not. After care is the *unique* purview of a *Dom/Domme*. Failure to provide needed after care, or worse, refusing a sub contact or their physical presence and protection after a scene, is a heinous BDSM 'crime'. Pawning after care off onto a beta or some other third party is just as offensive. IMHO, TexasMaam

meatcleaver -> RE: Honor and dishonor (5/1/2006 2:38:55 AM)
I think honesty and trust is such an hot issue and is constantly coming up in threads because on these issues people don't really trust themselves so why should they trust someone else?

feastie -> RE: Honor and dishonor (5/1/2006 3:53:29 AM)
From Merriam-Webster... There were many definitions of this word, this, I find to be most applicable in this context: 8 a : a keen sense of ethical conduct : INTEGRITY b : one's word given as a guarantee of performance To do anything which compromises ethical conduct or to break one's promise constitutes dishonor. As a side note: Lies of omission are still lies and do count. If a person discusses his or her personal expectations of a relationship, whether a committed one or not, and you pursue the relationship, it does mean that you've accepted those expectations and will uphold them unless you've verbally said otherwise. In other words, be completely candid and above board at all times. Ignoring or not discussing another person's expectations and then disregarding them does display a lack of integrity and honor as well.

Dustyn -> RE: Honor and dishonor (5/1/2006 5:03:37 AM)
Dishonorable? Kind of depends who you are... some things are acceptable to you that aren't for others...

LaTigresse -> RE: Honor and dishonor (5/1/2006 5:52:00 AM)
This has been a really good post for me to follow. It touched a few raw spots inside myself and I am a firm believer that if something bothers you its probably something inside yourself you need to look at and address. Celeste and rapture have touched several times on the idea of changing viewpoints and wants to appease someone to get whatever we want. The reason that bugged me was that I think that at times in the past few years I could have been accused of that. And that just bugged the shit out of me because I didn't like that I could be seen that way. Upon further thought I understand why I behaved that way, and am not going to punish myself for it. It's been a really sharp learning curve for me this last year especially. Many times has someone close to me brought up a subject that at first I had a kneejerk reaction of "HELL NO!!" then upon further contemplation about why I reacted like that and considered how I felt once the learned response was taken away. Allowed myself to see things from a different perspective, my attitude changed. I have been working VERY hard to change myself in regards to snap judgments, its not easy as I have a lifetime of it that has only been encouraged by the types of employment I have had. Soooo, all that being said I guess I can say I have committed that particular sin and may again. However, as in learning to accept myself and my needs and desires without the judgements I was taught from birth. I am also trying to apply that to others and their needs and desires. So yeah, if you asked me about limits or kinks a year or two ago they would have been vastly different from today, and maybe in another two years they would be different again. Now I know I am putting out some stuff about me that might scare a potential submissive however not really expecting any "magic" from collarme AND also saying that I believe that whatever happens between two consenting adults should in fact be consensual will hopefully "unscare" anyone. Thanks Loki for making me think!!!

Dustyn -> RE: Honor and dishonor (5/1/2006 4:01:52 PM)
A list of what I consider to be dishonorable acts is: Against others: - Abuse, regardless of the method - Rape - Lying - Theft Against me: - Assault without provocation - Drug use Everything else, I will at least try to talk about as to why it happened. I have no use for drug users, though, and by drug users I mean illegal substances such as coke, heroin or pot. If it's legal, I don't care as long as point 2 doesn't lead to point 1 in the "Against me:" category. I brooke no aggression towards me, unless I have earned it somehow, and even then, I won't simply allow someone to beat the hell out of me. My philosophy on that is, "First one's free, but the second one will cost you." But, like I said, some people will tolerate things that others will not. There won't be a real consensus over this idea because honor is a personal thing, not a strict code everyone has to adhere to. - Dustyn

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