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Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 10/14/2010 2:13:24 PM

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And since I've been MIA from the boards for a while I figured what the hell. I'll toss a question out there and see who I can get to reply to it. I've been living in New Orleans for 10 months now. I still haven't decided to get much into the public scene here even though I have been invited to a casual meet n greet and a play party or two. One thing I haven't really seen is just how much the people (at least on the switch boards) are active in their area's public BDSM scene.

So switches, are you more a home body (content to keep your play and BDSM experience in the safety of your own home), or do you prefer to let loose and give the voyeur's something to gawk at....oh, and WHY?

I'll start by answering my own question. I'm a lot more a home body and a lot less of an exhibitionist. Don't get me wrong, the times that I have been strapped up in public and taken my licks it's been amazing. It's just not something that I actively pursue. And when it has been done, it was done more for the Dominant's enjoyment than mine (I'm a good subbie when I'm playing subbie).... it just turned out that I enjoyed it as well. ^.^ I think the main reason is because my home is my safety net, it's my comfort zone most definitely. And I don't have to worry about someone seeing me and gossiping about it to my ex (who fortunately lives like 1700 miles away).

Lil Bit

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i'll try anything once, twice if i like it.

If you wanna know you better ask, and if i don't want to answer i won't.

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RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 10/14/2010 9:25:24 PM

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Lil Bit...I prefer to sub for my hubby at home where the fantasy is uninterrupted and, yes, safe. That being said, I would rather dom a woman in private but not in my home. Have done the public thing and I guess I just don't get off on the exhibitionism and would rather keep it cozy. It was fun, however, going to a swing club and dancing as a little French maid. hehehe

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Everyone sees what you seem to be, few know what you really are." - MDS

(in reply to Steelslilbit)

RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 10/15/2010 7:19:48 AM

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Thanks for your answer hon. ^.^

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i'll try anything once, twice if i like it.

If you wanna know you better ask, and if i don't want to answer i won't.

Offical Language: Caryn-ese
(Translator available upon request)

(in reply to KitchenWench)

RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 10/15/2010 12:07:19 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Steelslilbit

So switches, are you more a home body (content to keep your play and BDSM experience in the safety of your own home), or do you prefer to let loose and give the voyeur's something to gawk at....oh, and WHY?

We very much are now but when I first came out as a switch, I did it with a splash.
For several years I had run a rather large BDSM nightclub and I was always in Mistress mode. Many male subs had expectations of me. I don't want to sound arrogant but the sort of lifestyle meant I had become a bit of an icon to some.
I didn't want to keep my switchiness under the carpet and so I went out very publicly. I knew some of the subs would feel betrayed (believe that my dominance was a sham) but it was that type of man I really wanted off my back.

We also run a fetish market stall and every so often I will be approached by someone who knew me from my club days. They automatically presume that Steve is my sub and will often blatantly ignore him, even though I have tried to introduce them. When this happens I start to behave very submissively to Steve and it never fails to stop them in their tracks.

So in answer to your question, I only submit in public to make a clear statement but I don't particularly enjoy it. The rest and the best is saved for private.

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S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to Steelslilbit)

RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 10/15/2010 2:49:53 PM

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YAY! I was hoping you would be one of the people to toddle into this post and make a response. And as usual I am not disappointed by your answer. ^.^ Though I am sorry to hear that you have to get like that because people don't take the time to get updated on someone they knew before they just jump right in. x.x I mean really?

So so far we have three votes for the homebody group. Where are all the exhibitionists? ^.^

_____________________________

i'll try anything once, twice if i like it.

If you wanna know you better ask, and if i don't want to answer i won't.

Offical Language: Caryn-ese
(Translator available upon request)

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 10/15/2010 6:29:39 PM

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allthatjazz I could not agree more. Although I enjoy being dominant and I am naturally dominant, I realize I would not be happy being a dominant everyday. So I did the same thing. I came out of the closet as a switch. Instead of having more than one profile fooling everyone. I have one profile fooling no one. I actually would like to be out and about more often in the community- just haven't had thetime- I just need go. I wouldn't mind play in public at all as long as I am with someone who knows I am a switch and doesn't push their agenda or expectations on me.

(in reply to Steelslilbit)

RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 10/24/2010 2:18:44 PM

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When I got into the lifestyle 8 years ago I was definitely a homebody. Playing was never just playing, it was an intimate extension of the relationships I was in and there was nothing public or casual about it. After several years of focusing on my dominant side, my sub side was screaming to get out but I didn't want another D/s relationship, more of a friends with benefits type of thing. I did have a sub who I played with at a club a few times, but that was the extent of my public playing. But after a few really poor experiences in trying to get involved with the local bdsm community, last spring I found a great group of people who have become good friends and, as luck would have it, they host socials every other month. Within that group I also found a good friend with benefits (yay me! lol). I have become more outgoing because of these events and have played casually at all of them I have attended. I have no problem topping in public but bottoming is different. Again, it is still something that is pretty emotionally intense for me and so I don't feel comfortable doing much of it in front of more than a few select others. Sexual bottoming/submitting is definitely personal and that is kept private.

(in reply to MIsabelah)

RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 10/24/2010 2:31:44 PM

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I mostly keep things at home, but I have attended three or four private play parties this year and very much enjoy them

I am looking forward to meeting other locals with similar interests and joining a munch or a workshop, but I have no intention of either dominating or submitting outside of the friends' dungeon parties where I feel very comfortable or at home. This may change as I discover more about the local scene.

(in reply to BotanicalMiss)

RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 4/20/2011 7:49:07 AM

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Being a switch for me comes naturally anywhere I am at. To the outside world, I am an independent, no nonsense, take charge woman. Well, that is until Sir arrives. He expects submission whether we are in public or in the bedroom. However, there is a line to what we keep private and what we show others. Kink play is for the bedroom, no doubt about it. But, submission in public, acknowledging that i am owned by him, let's just say people who know us, and see us, are definitely aware of it.However, my friends also know my more dominant side when Sir isn't around. That's the problem I am having now. Sir is wanting to see the side that everyone else sees.

(in reply to switch2please)

RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 4/24/2011 2:12:00 AM

HannahLynHeather

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i am a homebody. mostly because i don't get along well with most people. if you think i'm annoying on here, just imagine me in person,,,and you with no hide button or ability to scroll down.

hannah lynn

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fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to Steelslilbit)

RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 4/25/2011 12:08:45 PM

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I mostly play at home, in private but whilst I'm no exhibitionist, I also love playing in clubs. I especially like administering floggings in public and have played as a sub in clubs but only with women I've been in relationships with at the time. For me, I think my preferred type of play in public would be a private play party where I got to hand pick the attendees!

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 4/26/2011 12:01:45 PM

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A party sounds absolutely fun. It's just too bad that I don't know that many people around me into the lifestyle. My friends who are really close to me only wanted to experiment. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't bad. Just would be nice to have a conversatio, even a session with someone who knew what they were about.

(in reply to Dystopianna)

RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 4/26/2011 6:11:03 PM

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"So switches, are you more a home body (content to keep your play and BDSM experience in the safety of your own home), or do you prefer to let loose and give the voyeur's something to gawk at....oh, and WHY?"

I like both and for different reasons and often different kinds of scenes. At home I like a lot more intimate play, long sessions of fire play, cupping, knife play, throwing one another around the bedroom late at night.

A least once every couple of months I need to go out, I am an exhibitionist and I like to make a big bang. We like to orchestrate crazy fight scenes. Last weekend we fought with mops, and then mop bits . . . Sometimes I just need an audience, it feeds me in a very particular and vital way.

_____________________________

~ s.

Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in

You need a spankin' baby!

(in reply to Raiden1981)

RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 6/6/2011 1:33:52 PM

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Myself and my Piece play mostly at home, with a very strong urge/instinct to take ourselves out... into the wild blue yonder to be seen... turning on each other.
Have witnesses to our little games, and deeper desires.
Our minds have already traveled far... now we need to venture physically into the perverted world, with our own perversions.

We have had a glimpse, a taste.

and it is good.

pD

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There's no small talk with walky-talkies.
Small talk stinks.

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RE: Stagnant switch boards need a new post - 6/6/2011 5:09:26 PM

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Great topic made me smile :) I am a very private person therefore would rather do things in privacy ( not always in my home but in privacy), however if I found the right person to switch with in whom I had a pretty good & sound relationship- I would love to explore the other side through play parties and munches and the works.

(in reply to popularDemand)

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