RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies?

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RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 11:39:41 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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Oh, I've enjoyed fetish parties. It was the swinger parties where people are looking you up and down and judging whether or not they want to fuck you, that I wasn't comfortable at. Sex with total strangers, just for fucking turned out to not be something I'm interested in.

Fetish parties are one of the few places I CAN go and not feel uncomfortable. I think its because in my mind, people are seeing the costume or the character and not ME - which helps me maintain my personal comfort zone of preferring to be invisible or inconspicuous.

edited to add:
I apologize for derailing this thread. To get it back on topic, the absolutely most dynamic and amazing couple I've witnessed scening before were switches. I went to parties just to watch them. The energy between switches can be riveting.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 10/16/2010 11:41:43 AM >

(in reply to tewy01)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 11:47:29 AM

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I admit, I do need to think about what my role should be.It would be a terrible thing to throw all my gear out and I can't do the 24/7 vanilla thing.Way to boring!!

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 11:49:02 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tewy01

I admit, I do need to think about what my role should be.It would be a terrible thing to throw all my gear out and I can't do the 24/7 vanilla thing.Way to boring!!

If you do decide to throw it out. I want first dibs.

WinD

(in reply to tewy01)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 11:52:21 AM

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U got it sweety.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 11:54:30 AM

Posts: 23574
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From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tewy01

Would having a relationship with a dom who has submissive tendencies present issues/problems in the relationship?

Yes. It would present enormous problems to me.

quote:

Or should I consider listing myself as a switch and seek a domme or switch instead of a sub/slave?

This is your choice. I'm a switch, and have not had problems when I've had my own subs, but they also understood that I submit to only my Master, and not any other person who has dominant tendencies. I don't have submissive tendencies towards anyone other than Him because being submissive isn't natural to me. For me, it's a choice. However, I wouldn't want to be in a D/s relationship with a man who feels like he may have sub leanings because I would feel that I could walk all over him. Maybe finding another switch for whom this isn't an issue would work, or perhaps tell people that you like to bottom at times for the purpose of a scene if you don't think you are really feeling "subbie."

_____________________________

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Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to tewy01)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 11:59:48 AM

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Redhead,When I was a subbie,I was made to become that way but was dominant inside the entire time.I think the subbie part is a craving and only that.Your post helps and thank u my dear.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:00:20 PM

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FR

im more and more of the opinion that what counts is a connection. labels just get in the way. who you are and how you relate to someone is far more important.

the other night i was talking to the nicest guy who happens to be sub, i found myself wondering if i could be in a relationship with a male sub and i knew that i couldnt because i just couldnt provide him with what i know he would need from me. but the point is that its surely more to do with you as you, the person you are. you are in the unique position of knowing what it is to be a sub, how it feels how it works and how best to satisfy that element.

im not sure if youre dichotomy is more to do with BDSM or Ds. if its BDSM then there are pletnty of subs who serve their master in that way and if its Ds then where does it say that you cannot give in an expressive way to the one who is most important to you.

the dichotomy is, what do you call youre self because to own a label is to declare youre position. i would call youreself a switch with a stronger leaning toward Dom. and then join the ranks who are looking for their perfect match.

all the best. x

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to tewy01)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:08:32 PM

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For me, having a Dom with submissive tendencies would be a total deal-breaker. Although I want to submit, it takes a really strongly dominant man to inspire that submission in me. If there was even an inkling that he was kneeling for someone else, there would be no way I could be totally submissive to him.

Having talked with friends of mine who are switch, quite a few tend to lean heavily to one side of the kneel or the other, with 'tendencies' towards the other side. They've managed to find relationships which cater for both sides of their need with another switch.

My suggestion would echo what everyone else seems to have said - accept that you are an individual who is mostly Dom, but with submissive tendencies, and see if you can find a switch who is mostly sub, but with Dominant tendencies.

Good luck with your search

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:12:15 PM

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Good advise once again.Thanx myother.So, I should redo my profile here?

(in reply to myotherself)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:15:48 PM

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Why does it say I m vanilla? Well, I can be if you want ...giggle or as the question asks as posted here .... Sure I can be a switch and take control ... I find even the strongest Doms like a woman w sexual creativiyy

(in reply to valoure)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:17:56 PM

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It says it because you have only posted on the forum 2x's. As for you switching,that's not the question here.You a switch,not a sub/slave.There is a difference.

(in reply to valoure)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:18:30 PM

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My answer to the OP is hell no. But then again, Alpha men, not just dominant men but alpha men, don't decide one day coming home from work he wants to be a submissive because its just too hard. Being an alpha male is simply who he is.

I also would probably exploit such a weakness in him and become thoroughly disgusted with him. If he is an alpha male then that is WHO HE IS, not a role he plays. So i would not expect my Master to come home from a stressful day deciding being Alpha and the Master is too tiring so i get to play Mistress.

shudders -- sorry but ew. There is a difference from the Man coming home saying that and the Man coming home completely exhausted or stressed and just wants some peace or to be pampered or taken care of for a night. Doesn't mean he has given up control and that would show if i remotely step out of line or forgot my place or decided his exhaustion was a sign for me to be the utra bitch and try and exploit his exhaustion or stress lol.

His exhaustion wouldn't make him a submissive, to me an exhausted alpha male is more beast than when he is not exhausted because he is more likely to retailate to any displeasure in a very umm let's say not so pleasant way for me. Alpha men are to me just as dangerous when they are stressed or exhausted as when they aren't. Closed eyes and a sigh of contentment doesn't mean they aren't who they are naturally.

angel

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to myotherself)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:22:46 PM

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Yes angel,a true dom doesn't change his role. I think my question was pretty much answered a cople hours ago and my profile has been changed.I will see where it leads me. As for the gear Wisdom defiance,I'm gona be needing it bit you more than happy to come enjoy all of it my dear.

(in reply to barelynangel)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:25:24 PM

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Its a discussion board, you asked for opinions. It will keep on as people read the OP, that is the nature of a discussion, and doesn't mean people who are just now reading the OP won't respond. You really don't have to respond to everyone if you feel you have gotten what you needed. The discussion will take on its own life as people discuss the concept grins and you will become obsolete in it as the OP.

And i never said anything about TRUE dom. I said alpha males. Please don't put words in my mouth. Thanks.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 10/16/2010 12:28:38 PM >

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to tewy01)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:27:35 PM

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Fair enough angel.

(in reply to barelynangel)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:36:21 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tewy01

You a switch, not a sub/slave. There is a difference.

Just wanted to clarify something here, for my own personal situation. I am a slave to my Master, and He is 200% Alpha Male, so there is never any mistake in where I am in the relationship hierarchy. He is actually the one who saw my switch leanings because I am very dominant in my own right. So, while I use the "switch" label, it doesn't take away from the fact that I am also His slave.

Sincerely,
Red

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to tewy01)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:38:46 PM

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i think that is what angel was trying to clarify. You can't change an alpha male.He rules

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:53:18 PM

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quote:

He is 200% Alpha Male

Leave it to Red to one up every other Alpha Male geesh.

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to tewy01)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 12:55:51 PM

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Your a sweet-heart Angel.

< Message edited by tewy01 -- 10/16/2010 12:57:06 PM >

(in reply to barelynangel)

RE: Would You Serve a Dom With Submissive Tendancies? - 10/16/2010 1:00:11 PM

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

quote:

He is 200% Alpha Male

Leave it to Red to one up every other Alpha Male geesh.

*giggles*

Well, at 6'2" and 300 lbs., I thought 100% left part of Him exposed.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to barelynangel)

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