can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 9/28/2004 11:31:17 PM

Nuitarisalyssa

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/22/2004
Status: offline

just wondering......
is it possible to train Your slave/sub to be a pain slut???
or is this something that is already 'born' into her??

His alyssa

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 9/29/2004 1:21:22 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

Hmmm... Didn't Pavlov teach his dog to cum at the sound of a bell?...

Some people are born with slightly out-of-whack chemistry that makes pain a more enjoyable experience for them, or simply gives them a higher tolerance for pain than others (thus requiring a greater degree of punishment to get the same effect). Others learn to associate pain with sexuality, and thus find it arousing/exciting. Because it is and can be learned, it is possible to follow a program of conditioning that builds a strong association between pain and sexual release, or emotional catharsis, or any number of other things that form the general condition of "pain slut".

I once spent a summer trying to build an associative reflex in my wife between green tea icecream and orgasm. It's not a strong enough conditioned response to make her orgasm at the taste of it, but at least when we go out for sushi and she orders the ice cream for dessert, I know what she has in mind for later.

If the sub wants to become a "pain slut", of course, the conditioning process is much easier. If the sub is resistant to the idea, no training regimen in the world will work (well, okay, without going into scary levels of brain washing, but that goes way outside the bounds of SSC in my book). For some folks, it will never click. My wife has been trying to work on her pain limits for ten years now, still can't do it. She'll cry safeword before her rear end is red. If thats the case, its best to move on to some other kind of fun and games.

Obviously from my stated lack of success, I can not really offer you a training regimen to work with, other than to suggest that, if this is a goal that sub and dom/me have agreed upon, then the occasional "edge play" scene where the top tries to build up the level of intensity in the scene until the sub does feel the need to cry safeword (with the sub understanding that they need to try with all their might to hold out for just a little bit longer), with some reward for the sub for successfully going past a certian number of clothespins or cane strokes (or whatever). Coaxing the sub into an orgasm during or immediately after a whipping or some other intense sensation play will also build up the right associations in the submissive's mind. Combined with a regimen of enforced chastity and teasing (bringing the submissive to the edge of orgasm but denying them full release) between training scenes will increase the intensity of the orgasm during the pain training, which will of course register as a stronger association between orgasm and pain. Obviously, much like any other form of pavlovian conditioning, this will require a great deal of patience on the dominant's part, a great deal of trust and willingness on the sub's part, and a long time. If pain is seriously a kink for the dom/me, and the sub is really wanting to fulfil their owner's every desire, then it is time and effort well spent, but this does represent a serious investment on the part of both parties.

Just my thoughts on the subject.

~S

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to Nuitarisalyssa)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 9/29/2004 3:25:35 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

Well i always had an affinity to pain, and my last dom turned it on high and some people tell me now that i am a pain slut now. So i would say yes, as mentioned if the person likes and needs pain they can be. Some people hate it and take what they can for their dom and the few i know in real life will never become pain sluts.

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to Nuitarisalyssa)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 9/29/2004 8:48:31 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I think anyone can be trained anything if open minded enough. I am not open minded enough to be trained to like pain. However, that is me. I'm not the world.
In my mind there is a very fine line between love and abuse when it comes to pain.
My mind works overtime in scenes. So, just isn't possible.

(in reply to Nuitarisalyssa)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 9/29/2004 10:07:26 AM

NoCalOwner

Posts: 241
Status: offline

Excellent post.

There are also people out there who, for one medical/psychological reason or another, are entirely unsuited to becoming pain sluts. And that's fine. Many people aren't at all masochistic, and I wouldn't feel altogether right about trying to train such folks into having positive associations with pain. It's one thing to help people discover their sexuality/kink, but another to try to make them into something which may not be in their nature. I personally feel better about sticking to discovery, since I do not see how trying to create an association between pain and sex does anyone any good.

So my answer is that some people are naturally pain sluts, and others can be trained to be, but that there are some sticky ethical issues involved.

(in reply to sub4hire)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 9/29/2004 5:25:32 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I never thought i would enjoy pain. When my online dom asked me if i liked pain i told him definately no. Then he asked me to try one thing--clothes pins on my nips, 20 sec only at first and build up to several minutes. OMG that changed everything. Now i crave pain and am always looking for new things to try. In fact it's hard for me to orgasm now without some pain, but that's another thread.

So maybe if you start slowly with clothes pins or spanking she might learn to like it.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 9/29/2004 5:26:08 PM >

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to Nuitarisalyssa)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 9/29/2004 5:41:22 PM

afmvdp

Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline

I would say though that some people are born with a natural affinity to enjoy pain, these people are of course far more easilly tweaked so to speak to become "pain sluts". Others like proud have spent their entire lives avoiding pain so when someone says "you want pain" they immediately think "hell no". The reason being is our normal mental makeup teaches of from an early age to avoid things that cause pain...well most people as previously mentioned. So it is definitely a slower, more precise process. With the right patience, endurance, and attitude you can train someone to move in just about any direction.

(in reply to proudsub)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 9/30/2004 10:33:53 PM

slave46

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/27/2004
Status: offline

Yes you can train a sub/slave to be a painslut. M/my Master has trained me to enjoy the pain he bring's me. I have learned through subspace. Tho i have always been into pain.

(in reply to Nuitarisalyssa)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 10/8/2004 12:18:55 AM

Nagatzhul

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline

You can train about anything. It is all about rewiring the brain. The more associations you build around something, the more it will be perceived as pain or pleasure. The signals from the nerves remain the same, it is how the mind interprets them that changes. The brain is pretty damn adaptable.

For me, the question is not if you can, but if you should.......

_____________________________

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong
about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly
taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."
-George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to slave46)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 10/8/2004 8:07:59 AM

rwnielDom

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/23/2004
Status: offline

Allow the pain to ebb and flow within the submissive rather than remain constant - start off with a tiny amount that is almost imperceptible and built it from there. Add pain during experiences which are naturally pleasurable like in the middle of orgasm or during a favourite play activity. You also have to examine if there is any particular reason why they are unlikely to be comfortable with it, such as a past experience (within or outside of BDSM).

Though if you have always been into pain that definitely helps. :-)

MasterR

(in reply to Nagatzhul)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 10/14/2004 5:03:39 PM

slaveaureus

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/16/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

In my opinion you can train anyone one that is willing, but the best ones come from the unwilling, I have longed for an analogy and I still can not find the right one, but in some things when you bend a something against its natural will you get a strength. In me as a slave trained against my will and forced into submission outside BDSM SSC & RACK criteria in the 70's has made me loyal & strong to the cause I serve, but so is my masochism which is believed to now equal my endurance & with further training of my masochism I thinks greater things can be achived

slave aureus

(in reply to Nuitarisalyssa)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 10/14/2004 6:22:23 PM

INSIDEYOURMIND

Posts: 483
Status: offline

I agree that you can indeed train a pain slut, but I also think that just like their submission, it is already there, it just takes the right combination of words and actions to bring it to the surface.
It reminds me of a funny comment my sub just made, she commented that I must not be feeling well, (long story) because I have not marked her ass lately. I have actually smacked her harder than I ever have, her pain tolerance level, and skin are getting tougher!

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to slaveaureus)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 10/14/2004 9:15:12 PM

myst

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/30/2004
Status: offline

I'm right now i think going though a stage of training. I wouldn't call my self a pain slut, i don't think i really want to be one. But i have been thinking about the cane, and the last time i was used it. I even might amit that i want to be spanked and caned. But i know for sure i will never do something purposly to displease my Master just to get punished. yet i havn't got the nerve to asked to be disciplined. lol

myst

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 10/14/2004 9:34:05 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

I even might amit that i want to be spanked and caned.

If those are things you want to try you should tell your dom, or maybe beg. He can't read your mind. IMHO

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to myst)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 10/14/2004 9:42:17 PM

cynnacent1

Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub
If those are things you want to try you should tell your dom, or maybe beg. He can't read your mind. IMHO

i agree 100% with proudsub on this point ( although i can SWEAR, at times, in some instances, it does seem ....... my Master CAN ! )

_____________________________

Current imood of cynnacent1: [image]http://moods.imood.com/display/uname=cynnacent1/fg=339999ns=1/imood.gif[/image] Click the smiley to get your very own imood indicator.

(in reply to proudsub)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 10/14/2004 9:48:27 PM

cynnacent1

Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: INSIDEYOURMIND
I have actually smacked her harder than I ever have, her pain tolerance level, and skin are getting tougher!

i am actually wondering whether the many doses of Extra Strength Tylenol paired with the entire bottle of Dayquil consumed in less than 3 days time had any influence in regard to tolerance levels and skin toughness ? Interesting thought at least ... ( ... and no, Master ... i am NOT trying to be a smart ass).

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 10/16/2004 5:28:27 AM

wetrope

Posts: 117
Joined: 8/9/2004
From: GATINEAU, PQ
Status: offline

Training a slightly interested person to be a sub is possible if the person is willing and open to try things, likewise training that person to move from a sub to a pain slave is also possible if she is open to try things. My sub is not there yet but moving along, she looks forward to training sessions, loves that I dont just play with her nipples now but clamp them and twist them and flog them, and last session even asked for them to be caned. She once thought her lips were totally private sensitive organs, now luvs them clamped and tied open, flogged, and still she is as wet as ever.
This week I completely misread her, thought she just wanted dinner and a hug, no she wanted another session but I didnt bring my toolchest, so guess I better be more prepared.

_____________________________

Wetrope

(in reply to cynnacent1)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 10/18/2004 10:41:30 AM

slavewithnoname

Posts: 24
Joined: 8/24/2004
Status: offline

I think it's possible to train someone to "tolerate, perhaps even enjoy the pain"... but not to be a painslut. Painsluts crave the pain for themselves... to fill a need they themselves have... that is something I feel cannot be taught.
just my humble opinion...
~slavegirl~

_____________________________

~I do not submit as a slave because I feel weak or insecure... I do it because I am strong enough to be that free.~

(in reply to wetrope)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 10/28/2004 7:36:38 PM

IWantYou

Posts: 22
Joined: 6/7/2004
From: Brampton, Ontario
Status: offline

Nuitarisalyssa

If a sub/slave already has a desire to be spanked, flogged. breast or pussy torture then the training started the first time they allowed anthing to be done to them. It's the physical and mental limits which are tested and expanded. The D/M is only the source of the pain/pleasure, truly it is the sub/slave who she's they have had enough at any given point. It also depends on how hard and in what ways the sub/slave has been dealt with, as pleasure or pain. My slave sometimes has low pain thresholds but still wants to be spanked or flogged so I am softer and more tesing in my actions.. which in itself can make her.. well hard to describe other than pleasant.

None the less I take her to levels in manners she has never experienced before, sometimes she surprises both of U/us in what she will endure but the smile on her face, her warm glo says it all when we wind down out of a session. That is allowing me at times to try different or variations of things but W/we both quickly know if it is not going well and W/we will either stop and or sort out the problem or discomfort most times or go completely in a different direction with something W/we know. Hope that helps...Rob.

(in reply to slavewithnoname)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: can you train a submissive/slave to be a pain slut? - 10/29/2004 12:29:04 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

Yes, you can up a person's affinity for pain. This was done to one of my ex subs (not by me.) His first Domme was a sadist. She was also beautiful and seductive. They had a very tempestuous relationship over the course of several years. As much as he hated the pain, she loved it. She was visibly turned on by it. Over a period of time he became conditioned to associate pain with pleasing his Domme. Eleven years later he is an impressive masochist

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Nuitarisalyssa)

Profile

Post #: 20