RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons"

RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (Full Version)

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ElanSubdued -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 1:40:29 PM)
ReginaMirus, quote: These guys proposition me first, having damned near nothing in their own profile, yet talk to me at length about how wonderful my profile is, blahblahblah. We exchange 4 or 5 CMails, I request a photo and get this response, yet I'M the one that's supposed to be so engrossed in "probing their mind" that I shouldn't really be asking for a recent photo? Are you fucking KIDDING me? You asked for my approach. I answered. I wasn't describing an approach for your experiences, but rather what works for my own situations. Rapport is important to me. Much depends on how a conversation goes and how the rapport and chemistry develop. I've given out photos and got on a web camera in a first conversation, but in other cases I've held back and I was glad I did. Generally, I prefer to meet people in person, but if this isn't possible and photos are going to be exchanged, there is a natural progression where this feels comfortable and in every instance this progresses with different timing. A big, social, no-no to me is "well, I've got lots of pictures in my profile so you should return the favour". This is blackmail. Whatever someone else feels comfortable with is fine by me, but this doesn't mean I'm required to do the same. I'll share photos if and when I feel like it, and not a moment sooner. If I've not volunteered this and someone asks at an appropriate time and in an appropriate way, this is fine. Elan.

Dnomyar -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 1:51:52 PM)
WhenI first came on here I was i chat. I met a lot of people from chat in my area without either one of us having pics. Neither of us had a problem with that. People on here seem to have a lot of hangups abou different things . I dont know why. Think about it. Your on here looking to get beat, tiedup be a submissive or slave. You should be opened minded if not go somewhere else.

ReginaMirus -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 1:59:39 PM)
Sure. I should just be grateful for the conversation and just suck it up. God forbid I should be so demanding. [8\|]

wittynamehere -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 2:03:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus I get that too, but do you say this to someone that you've been talking to for awhile, when she requests a photo of you? Once I'm confident it isn't her trying to mess with me, I share photos.

DesFIP -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 2:12:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus Sure. I should just be grateful for the conversation and just suck it up. God forbid I should be so demanding. [8\|] As far as I can tell from your profile, you're looking for a dirty little secret. You want a 'primary' partner but no chance the two of you will ever live together, no chance your children will meet them. You want them to come and serve and kneel by your side but be gone when the school bus gets there. And yet they have to disclose all while you've made it clear they aren't to be a part of your life. Now if this isn't what you're looking for, you need to clarify. But the way it reads now, it says you're looking for a secret, so why be surprised when they respond in kind?

ReginaMirus -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 2:12:44 PM)
Eh, I dunno. I generally do get right to the point and set expectations of actually meeting for coffee/drinks, what have you, but the odds of finding out that he's going to flake on me increase exponentially when I haven't been given at least one face pic when I've asked for it. In fact, of all the sub applicants I've made arrangements with to meet, the only ones who actually bother to show up are the ones that have no problem forwarding a face pic of themselves. I guarantee that these latest ones probably haven't seen the light of day from the sanctity of their mother's basements in over two years.

Lucullus -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 2:24:00 PM)
We live in an era when paranoia about privacy is really, really healthy. Even if it doesn't matter for my job, vanilla social life, or comfort now (and in my case, it happens to) the interenet makes everything permanent. I'm not That Big of a Celebrity now.... but what if someday I want to run for political office? Get a security clearance, (as was already mentioned?) Especially for young people, there's just no way to know when something might be important later. Since it seems to be a sticking point with many subs, I may put up a vanilla picture, not associated with my real name, figuring it will be hard to recognize me based on it in the future. Still, I'm amazed there are so many people who are so blase about putting picks up for a social scene still widely regarded as obscene or sick. A lot of people are open minded these days, but alot aren't. If people don't want to disclose, why is that illegitimate? Are their really that many "fakes" around? What do you lose by talking to them for awhile? -Lucullus

ReginaMirus -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 2:26:46 PM)
Fair question, and thanks for the heads up on that. If anything, NO, I most definitely do NOT want a "dirty little secret", at all. The purpose of that statement in my profile is that most guys who proposition me have this fanatical idea in their heads that I'm independently wealthy, stay at home all day, have no other familial obligations, and I'm going to keep them naked on all fours wandering about my house and scrubbing the floors. With kids around (and no, I don't expect to hide someone from them), obviously I can't have a potential submissive behaving like that in front of them. They're kids, and they don't understand that at all. Maybe in scene, when they're staying at their dad's, but as a general rule? No way. I'm just trying to be up front with my limitations, so potentials have enough sense the filter themselves out before they seek to fill that role. Assuming that they actually read profiles. Most of them don't, so it may be a moot point, anyway. But I appreciate the insight and will give it some thought.

AquaticSub -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 2:40:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucullus We live in an era when paranoia about privacy is really, really healthy. Even if it doesn't matter for my job, vanilla social life, or comfort now (and in my case, it happens to) the interenet makes everything permanent. I'm not That Big of a Celebrity now.... but what if someday I want to run for political office? Get a security clearance, (as was already mentioned?) Especially for young people, there's just no way to know when something might be important later. Since it seems to be a sticking point with many subs, I may put up a vanilla picture, not associated with my real name, figuring it will be hard to recognize me based on it in the future. Still, I'm amazed there are so many people who are so blase about putting picks up for a social scene still widely regarded as obscene or sick. A lot of people are open minded these days, but alot aren't. If people don't want to disclose, why is that illegitimate? Are their really that many "fakes" around? What do you lose by talking to them for awhile? -Lucullus That's another reason I don't put a clear face picture up anymore. Another is that people HAVE taken pictures off this site and logged them on another site, with user names and profiles. It was years ago but it happened and no one could control when, if ever, those pics will be removed. And there were comments - many not particularly kind - about them as well Honestly, I can understand a 'have to be willing to put up a face pic' filter. What I don't get is the insults and doubting of those who elect not to. If they are just fakes, then they can send you a fake picture if they want to keep the conversation going. Google and right click - not that hard to use.

ReginaMirus -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 2:46:12 PM)
quote: Are their really that many "fakes" around? Truly, you'd be surprised. quote: What do you lose by talking to them for awhile? They get what they want out of me by stringing me along for further wank fodder, and I get a big ole waste of my time. Add water, rinse and repeat. Ad nauseum. It would be really, really great if I didn't have to rely on internet at all, if there were scads of male subs attending local munches and playparties that I frequent. In my area, however, you rarely see anyone who dares wearing the moniker of single male s-type darken the doors of such an establishment.

ReginaMirus -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 2:52:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub Honestly, I can understand a 'have to be willing to put up a face pic' filter. What I don't get is the insults and doubting of those who elect not to. If they are just fakes, then they can send you a fake picture if they want to keep the conversation going. Google and right click - not that hard to use. Insults? Honestly, I don't care if you put up a profile pic or not. And you're not filling my inbox petitioning to date me, so I'm not sure what this is all about...

AquaticSub -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 3:07:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus Insults? Honestly, I don't care if you put up a profile pic or not. And you're not filling my inbox petitioning to date me, so I'm not sure what this is all about... I regard calling someone a fantasy player as an insult in this context which is exactly what I meant, not that you are insulting me personally. And no, I'm not petitioning you. I didn't realize you were only interested in answers from those who were. Thought you wanted answers from people who don't like to send pictures.

ReginaMirus -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 3:19:23 PM)
I'm sorry if you felt slighted or insulted, it certainly was not my intent.

AquaticSub -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 3:33:05 PM)
Like I said - I don't feel personally slighted. [:)] But I do feel that assigning that label to anyone who doesn't send a picture is an insult and I don't understand why someone would feel the need to issue that insult over this.

ReginaMirus -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 3:44:03 PM)
I'm not sure where "fantasy player" is perceived an insult, either. Nothing against fantasy players, as I'd stated in my OP it's just not for me. Now the term "weirdos" is another story, altogether. [:-]

AquaticSub -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 3:50:36 PM)
It's that most people who live/do something as a lifestyle or seriously don't usually appreciate being told they are fantasy players, amateurs, newbies, etc. What I don't understand is why someone feels a need to assign a "level", for lack of a better word, to someone simply because they are uncomfortable sending a picture. Make sense?

LadyPact -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 4:27:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucullus What do you lose by talking to them for awhile? -Lucullus I never understand why people say this. As Regina said, the answer is time. Personally, I consider My time valuable, just like everyone else. I want to use Mine in My own best interests. That means I'm going to invest it in those areas that are most beneficial. Let Me put it like this. Not everybody here falls into the preference categories of everybody else. I'm not going to put My time into someone who doesn't fit Me, rather than put that time into somebody who might fit Me. Instead of wasting My time on the guy who looks like he's 80, a hundred pounds overweight, who doesn't want people to see him because he's worried about being 'recognized', I could be talking to somebody who is in My age range, willing to meet Me at the local munch, and has compatible play interest.

mummyman321 -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 5:22:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus Guys that do this, do you have any other explanation that makes sense, other than what I've listed above? I do not share a photo up front unless the Domme is interested in what I am offering. Why do I do this? One reason is Job safety. I work for a company who frowns on alternative behaviors. You might say its not worth it working for a such a company. But I love my job and I am well compensated for it. The benifits package is hard to beat on top of the good pay. I know the company checks many websites such as MySpace, Facebook, Youtube, Craigslist, and Collarme. They do a search on all new hires and they also do random searches against current employees as a preventative measure to make sure inappropriate content is not posted against the company. Additioanlly if the Domme needs a photo of me to determine ifshe likes my interests, then she is not for me. I am more than willing to share a photo if we have similar interests. So maybe the 2nd or 3rd email I will share.

eihwaz -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 7:47:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mummyman321 quote: ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus Guys that do this, do you have any other explanation that makes sense, other than what I've listed above? [...] I know the company checks many websites such as MySpace, Facebook, Youtube, Craigslist, and Collarme. [...] Collarme?

mummyman321 -> RE: "I don't want to disclose my photo right now for privacy reasons" (10/21/2010 8:16:09 PM)
Believe it or not, yes. With social media growing by leaps and bounds, many employers are now searching many of the social media websites. The last things a high profile company wants is to see one of their employees, profile, picture, biography or??? on a website showing that employee in a light that the public would not approve. This goes for saying stupid things on Facebook to having a kinky profile on an adult website. Even though you are doing nothing illegal, if your actions are not in line with the companies purpose and values, they can fire you over it.

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