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kinkyboy -> RE: Dungeon Party (10/11/2004 11:49:13 AM)
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I will address your questions below, but I wish to preface that by saying the main issue with me at this time is not whether the party was safe or not, nor whether I was in subspace or not, but one thing only: MissFem, in starting this thread instead of directly contacting myself and/or the Mistress involved regarding her "safety concerns" (more on this below), has generated a rumor mill that had been hurtful and insulting to both the Mistress and myself. Although you mention in your post that "I still don't know you or Fem or your Top from Adam," a sufficiently long and detailed pre-party and post-party thread was generated (on another website) so that the actual people involved were known to numerous members of the other site. To pretend that these comments were posted anonymously is naive, and MissFem is an experienced enough player to know better. For her to claim, as she did (elsewhere), that she did not know that her spreading such rumors in a public forum would be hurtful, is frankly insulting both to me and the Mistress.
In fact it is my opinion that the reason MissFem started the thread had nothing to do with her "safety concerns" at the party (after all, as I mentioned in my previous post, MissFem had ample opportunity to address any safety issues on the spot, and chose not to - she hung out in the room and chatted with the rest of the guests the entire time the scene was taking place). I will not go into the private reasons why she may have done this - except to say that there were some, and they had nothing to do with the party itself. When you take into account her potential for ulterior motives at starting the thread, it is more understandable why she would have posted such a pack of lies and distortions in the first place.
Let me further say that you are obviously entitled to your opinions and I appreciate your obvious concern for my safety that appears to have prompted your comments. But in the future, please read such posts as MissFem's with a "grain of salt" until you have double-checked the facts. Now, to your specific comments:
quote:
ORIGINAL: January
kinkyboy,
The problem with your "setting the record straight" posts are the following:
If your Mistress was the DM, she shouldn't have been playing. You haven't addressed that issue at all. Why?
[The part had TWO dungeonmasters specifically to address this concern, and only ONE of the DM's was allowed to be involved in a scene at any one time.]
If you really were in "subspace", you would NOT know HOW you were doing! It would absolutely be the responsiblity of your Top to determine your condition. Not you. Your Mistress did make the judgment call that something was wrong with you, and was anxious to get you out of there. I, for one, accept it. You probably should, too.
[One site's partial definition of subspace is as follows:
"...the most important thing to remember is there are levels of subspace. It ranges from light subspace to heavy or deep space. The first time a submissive goes into space is usually of the light variety. The submissive can talk, is aware of all around him/her and can say the safe word. The deeper into sub-space the submissive goes, the more the chemicals pump into the blood stream, the more skilled the Dominant must be to keep everything in line. In this deep sub-space, a submissive cannot even hear the Dominant and is most likely unable to talk..."
As you can see from this published explanation, there are at least several, and possibly many, levels of subspace to be experienced. I certainly felt like I was somewhat "out of body" during the scene, but at no time did I lose consciousness and I was fully able to hear and speak throughout the scene. As I mentioned in my previous post, the Mistress checked in on me (usually asking "What color are you, green, yellow or red?") numerous times, which was about every two minutes according to her. I always answered, and my answer every time was "Green." It is unfair for you to presume your knowledge of subspace is so complete that the opinions of we who were there and particularly myself who was the sub involved should be disregarded, and of course I DID accept the Mistress' judgment that it was time for the scene to be ended when it was.]
And lastly, your Mistress had no business doing that scene UNLESS she has her own way of cutting you out of there. It was, IMO, irresponsible for her to not have the tools she needed. In addition, it was outright insolent for her to complain about the tools offered when she asked for help.
[The proper tools were at hand. The box cutter originally offered was NOT one of the prepared tools, and in fact MissFem pulled it out of her handbag instead of handing the Mistress the scissors that were requested. There was no panic during or after the scene. The Mistress insisted on cutting me out when SHE decided it was necessary for safety, well before I would have liked the scene to end.]
So, your post hasn't done a lot to "set the record straight" in my mind.
By the way, since neither your name or your Mistresses' name was given in the orignal post, MissFem hardly needs to get permision from you or anyone else to post and ask for an opinion. I still don't know you or Fem or your Top from Adam.
[See my comments at the top of this post regarding your perception of anonymity.]
JMO,
January
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