RE: Dungeon Party

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Dungeon Party

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Health and Safety >> RE: Dungeon Party

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Dungeon Party - 10/11/2004 2:39:25 PM

lanette

Posts: 32
Joined: 1/23/2004
From: You think that because i allow you to
Status: offline

Well said! Anywhere i have EVER played, the DM would NEVER be in a scene. There is no way to accomplish both tasks safely or effectively!
Any Top that makes the attempt, in my opinion, has no business doing either.

I have to say that i agree with January's post from top to bottom, hell i'm also on the other website and had no idea anything had been mentioned there about the party...

In either case, MissFem has a right to ask advice on any subject she wishes, like it or not and Had your "self proclaimed Mistress" been being responsible on any front (outside of the short questions) none of it could have even remotely been an issue.

Again, well said January..... thank you for putting so articulately what i was thinking..

l.

quote:

ORIGINAL: January

kinkyboy,

The problem with your "setting the record straight" posts are the following:

If your Mistress was the DM, she shouldn't have been playing. You haven't addressed that issue at all. Why?

If you really were in "subspace", you would NOT know HOW you were doing! It would absolutely be the responsiblity of your Top to determine your condition. Not you. Your Mistress did make the judgment call that something was wrong with you, and was anxious to get you out of there. I, for one, accept it. You probably should, too.

And lastly, your Mistress had no business doing that scene UNLESS she has her own way of cutting you out of there. It was, IMO, irresponsible for her to not have the tools she needed. In addition, it was outright insolent for her to complain about the tools offered when she asked for help.

So, your post hasn't done a lot to "set the record straight" in my mind.

By the way, since neither your name or your Mistresses' name was given in the orignal post, MissFem hardly needs to get permision from you or anyone else to post and ask for an opinion. I still don't know you or Fem or your Top from Adam.

JMO,
January

< Message edited by lanette -- 10/11/2004 2:40:44 PM >

_____________________________

"Chaos, panic, and disorder --- my work here is done"
"Oh I get it... like humor... but different"

(in reply to January)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Dungeon Party - 10/11/2004 4:34:08 PM

pbpDomme

Posts: 97
Joined: 10/11/2004
Status: offline

As the Domme in question and having not said a word in this matter, I would like to say this:

1. Hellseequer and Lanette, thank you for sharing your thoughts and relaying the messages. Duly noted.

2. January, as you were not there and be comsumed in making assumptions, I respect your thoughts although I highly disagree.

3. Fem. Please let me address this.

a. You were Co-DM! There were both of us as DM's. No other scene was occuring in the room at the time, thus, as I scened, you were also DM. People here seem to have missed that in an earlier post.

b. Party occured weekend of Sept 25. This post originated on Sept 29. I found out all of this per a phone call received from the UK from someone that is a member of this site as well as the other we belong to on Oct 9 -- 2 weeks after the party. I have never received a phone call or email from Fem prior to the discovery of this post on Oct 9. I have never received any notification of this issue until this weekend.

c. While I appreciate everyone's thoughts and opinions, the goal of this party was safety, as Fem was well aware.

d. The definition of "subspace" that kinky_boy provided in his post is as defined by BaadMaster, a HIGHLY well known Master in the scene. Please note the many levels of subspace achieveable. kinky_boy was in the lowest level of subspace. I was standing over him -- not 10 to 15 feet away as many other's were.

e. Perceptions are just that... perceptions. What one may observe and mentally process may not be the same as another. At no time was kinky_boy in any danger and the HIGHEST level of safety was used.

I repeat... I was NEVER made aware of this immediately at the time of the party or post-party until 48 hrs ago. Thus, Fem did not inform me of her feelings of the scene at any time. It took another to point this out to me.

I personally would have appreciated having these comments or feelings relayed to me immediately and directly vs. finding out through a 3rd source 2 weeks later. I suggest that you email me directly for further clarification of this particular matter.

As one that is known in the scene, especially for being a HIGHLY safe Domme, I also appreciate the concern and such of those other's in the scene. I have been to workshops and classes and well understand the importance of safety, whether in private or public scenes. I commend those for sharing your comments on public play safety as this seems to be a prelevant issue into today's BDSM scene.... those that see it as a fad and do not truly understand.

I will not reply back to this post so if you have particular questions you want to ask me directly, I welcome your emails and appreciate you reading this. I will not flame, I will not put down or question as that is not my nature.

And Fem, I am still open to discuss this particular matter with you if you feel you want to continue the conversation from this thread. And, if not, I respect that and wish you only well.

(in reply to Hellseeqer)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Dungeon Party - 10/11/2004 5:03:44 PM

Hellseeqer

Posts: 16
Joined: 8/11/2004
Status: offline

I m right now trying to fix with femmy her javascript or cookie problem that is stopping her from using these forums.

********** Message from Femmy ****************

I was just told I was Co-DM for that weekend...also I will discuss this in private as soon as you stop bringing up things that had nothing to do with this matter

*********************************************

(in reply to pbpDomme)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Dungeon Party - 10/11/2004 8:06:09 PM

AlphaGeek

Posts: 86
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: Charlottesville, VA, but in Orlando for a temp job
Status: offline

1. Dom exceeded level of competency by not bring prepared mentally for a very likely contingency (sub overheating).

2. Dom exceeded level of competency by not having essential safety equipment at hand to extricate their sub (scissors! DUH!).

3. Where was the DM in all this? Somone participating in a scene is NOT the DM.

Sheesh, people... PLAY SAFE! We really don't want poor examples of the community on the eleven o' clock news!

< Message edited by AlphaGeek -- 10/11/2004 8:16:55 PM >

(in reply to Hellseeqer)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Dungeon Party - 10/11/2004 10:29:31 PM

jillwfsub4blkdom

Posts: 375
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

wondering why this thread is still open since it seems we have heard from all parties involved. Not sure what good will be accomplished by keeping it open.

jill

_____________________________

"It's the moment that transcends
Our physical into a more spiritual level of understanding" - Musiq

(in reply to AlphaGeek)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Dungeon Party - 10/12/2004 1:14:12 AM

EStrict

Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

Well Jill, where you personally aren't sure why the post is still open, I'm guessing it is because not all peoples opinions are here?

a) If an establishment only has one DM, and there is not a *head DM* available, etc, are all aware?

b) If there is only one DM, are they aware of the clubs policy of their playing during the evening?

I am guessing one of the main reasons this whole string bothers me is a personal experience thing. I once had a friend who wanted to be branded by her master in public. She was well known and well liked. He was known, and less liked because he was more extreme than some other considered *PC*.

These two spoke to someone (hey, I admit I don't care enough about what everyone cares about to know what's what) called Fakir someone or other who is know for brandings. I would know the guy if I saw his picture, but since I don't care enough for his fetishes, I didn't go to his workshops (and it was before I knew Master, so he didn't care one way or another). Don't get me wrong.... from what I saw, he was VERY well verserd in what he did. This is not a slight on him or those who follow his practices.

The couple in question wanted to branch out to more than what the fakir had done, and wanted to do a single strike brand that was a symbol rather than just a line. The dominant in question went back and forth for months between the Fakir (and I may be spelling that wrong) and the person who was creating the actual brand. Finally, they got one that they agreed on. They worked it out with the council for the club they were going to do the scene at. It was agreed that it was going to be a late scene, but there were a LOT of people who stuck around wanting to see it.....

Well, the DM on questioned the *safety* issues of the scene. The head DM, others from the board, the dominant who was going to do the scene, and the slave were all questioned. Even though the scene was planned for over a month, they secluded the slave to question her to make sure she wasn't being *pressured* into this.

Finally, the scene was allowed, went as planned, and both the dominant and slave in question showed no regret in the days, weeks and months to follow.

So here is the thing: If you are *uncomftable* with a scene,, who the hell is forcing you to watch it?? If it was agreed to by the dominant and the submissive, and is within the groups guidelines, what *is* the problem? In this particular case, it seemed the dominant might have been ill prepared (not having scissors), but the submissive never seems to have never felt the level of *panic* others are attributing to them....

btw, I'm not going to spell check so I apologize for typo's or dylexic things I did :)

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to jillwfsub4blkdom)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Dungeon Party - 10/12/2004 10:39:20 AM

jillwfsub4blkdom

Posts: 375
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

Sandy,
i understand the need for talking about safety at a dungeon party in general or even possibly opening a different thread. What i was trying to get at that this thread is personal between three parties. All three parties have voiced their opinions and apparently disagree. All it will wind up as a thread with the different sides ranting and raving at each other.

jill

_____________________________

"It's the moment that transcends
Our physical into a more spiritual level of understanding" - Musiq

(in reply to EStrict)

Profile

Post #: 27