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Aging---gracefully? - 4/26/2006 1:27:53 PM

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Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
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In my now 36 years, I've lived a few lifetimes. I've experienced that which makes up both dreams and nightmares. I look in the mirror and see scars and stretchmarks and crows feet and gray hair, and I know I wouldn't go back and live it all again. I am quite happy that I lived through the life I chose, and I'm sure I wore out a Guardian Angel or three in the process. Happy to be here, happy that I survived, and happy that what I've lived through has made me who I am today. I wouldn't have said that 3 years ago, or even 10.

I know that having had some life experiences makes me a better person, but they also make me a better Domina. They make me compassionate when I need to be, allow me to be callous when my subs need it, and help me to put myself in another's shoes and we all need that. Maybe I'm just being nostalgic and mushy because today's my birthday, but maybe it's just a reflective time for me at this juncture of my life.

What in your experiences has made you a better Domina?

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/26/2006 2:28:07 PM

EbonyFtshGoddess

Posts: 446
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From: Hollywood Hills, CA
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real life experience, trial and error.

and being a slave first for 4 years that taught me the ropes, but it also taught me how to perceive things from the perspective of any potential slave i have.

_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/26/2006 3:43:46 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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Happy Birthday Tress!!

Yes defiantly being a slave, that was the biggest by far, and also being an animal rescuer, a healer, and an artist.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/26/2006 5:44:08 PM

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quote:

I look in the mirror and see scars and stretchmarks and crows feet and gray hair, and I know I wouldn't go back and live it all again.

I'd gladly go back to twenty-eight

quote:

Maybe I'm just being nostalgic and mushy because today's my birthday, but maybe it's just a reflective time for me at this juncture of my life.

Happy Birthday! Sit in the hot tub tonight and drink a good bottle champagne ; }

- R

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/26/2006 5:45:33 PM

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Joined: 6/7/2005
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I think dominas age more gracefully then most women. Confidence is always hot. But, to answer your question, every experience has made me a better dominant. Being an older sister taught me the responsibilities inherent with power. Being an employee taught me the value of a hierarchy. Being a boss taught me the value of mentoring. Experience is one significant difference between being a top and and being a dominant.

Happy birthday!

_____________________________

If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much. -- Mark Twain

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/26/2006 5:49:33 PM

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Joined: 4/1/2006
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I think its wonderful to get older...I admire so many mature Dominas that I have met, one in her 70's that is so dominant, and comfortable with herself..one I met that was like the Russian fur wearing women of history..accent and all, some where around 60 and what an attitude !
I watch the subs locked in their role to them with no question, they arnt prancing about being fetish queens but dominant?? you betcha.

I would rather be my age (47) than any other age I have been..and this is because I know what I know and would never want to have not had the life experience.
I believe a Domina gets better with age, like a fine wine Im told...because you sort of grow into yourself..maiden, mother, crone. The crone has the wisdom.

MissTress, you said your life experiences make you a better person and a better Domina.. and I agree totally.
The outside is always changeable, the inside is where your true light shines from, and thats from the ups and downs, lessons learnt, and maturity gained.

I like life this side of 40 better than I did before it, so your best is yet to come Lady :)

_____________________________

Be completely still, and listen from the inside.
www.mistressdominiquenz.com
The Dungeon ~ Forum and Chat.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/26/2006 8:04:34 PM

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
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Happy Birthday Tress,
I hope yours was great.

What in your experiences has made you a better Domina?

Looking back......

Growing up impoverished. I learned the value of people over things. When the chips are down, I still know how to smile. When the resources are gone, I know creativity. I've learned everything I know about overcoming obstacles, from having nothing but sheer will to overcome them.

Exposure to diversity. I grew up around bigots, christians, men, women, rich, poor, children, disabilities, veterans, elderly, snobs, drug-users, and everything between. I learned how to be myself in any environment, while still being able to adhere to group norms. And my times on the reservation were priceless in my spiritual journey.

Becoming independent early in life. I learned self-sufficiency at an early age. My young adulthood was freed from learning independent living skills, which made more time to learn other things instead, like determination, patience, and of course, skills.

Constant pursuit of education and thirst to learn. This is a huge part of who I am. Whether its formal college education, teach-yourself-at-home, private lessons, or just basic research and question asking, I'm always on a quest to increase knowledge. I'm very comfortable with the fact that I will never know it all. That means I can look forward to all that I still have to learn.

Having been a submissive. I can't say enough about having walked in those shoes before I led the one in them. I learned what feels good (to the mind as well as the body), and what feels bad (to the mind and the body). I learned what motivates, what infuriates, and what comforts

Being a mother. If nothing else in this world taught me tolerance, adaptability, patience, and understanding, being a mother drilled the lesson home.

Some other things that have contributed:
Having mentors.( I cherish them because a good one is hard to find!)
Volunteer work.
Reading.
Working.
And did I mention this insatiable thirst to learn?

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/27/2006 12:33:51 AM

indenturedslave

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Joined: 9/17/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDominiquenz

I think its wonderful to get older...I admire so many mature Dominas that I have met, one in her 70's that is so dominant, and comfortable with herself..one I met that was like the Russian fur wearing women of history..accent and all, some where around 60 and what an attitude !
I watch the subs locked in their role to them with no question, they arnt prancing about being fetish queens but dominant?? you betcha.

Wow! I just turned 41 last week and have always found the kind of Elder Dommes described above unbelievably appealing! I would love to be in the service of a regal, mature Domina in her late 60s or 70s. Question. How does a sub go about finding these kinds of Dommes in our youth obsessed age? No Dommes on Collarme quite seem to fit that profile.

(in reply to MsDominiquenz)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/27/2006 12:46:56 AM

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Joined: 6/25/2004
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Belated Happy birthday.
I thought my 30s were the best years of my life in terms of grwoing up, determining where I've been and where I would like to go, and finally accepting and loving the woman God/my parents birthed me to be/become. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/27/2006 4:50:04 AM

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Joined: 4/1/2006
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Hello indentured.
One is still seeing clients in Auckland NZ, a bright bundle of spriteness, who had thought of giving up till I met her and said baloney !! She has the body of a 15 yo and a mind to match, and this is in her DNA. An amazing Woman.
The other I met at a collaring. We Dominas were gliding along in a Bentley to the the event, her in the front seat all fur and piled up hair.. amazing. A guest of honour, and I never saw her again. I remember her European accent and aloof attitude, and she walked with subs at her elbows who were so proud to be there.
Wonderful memories :)

_____________________________

Be completely still, and listen from the inside.
www.mistressdominiquenz.com
The Dungeon ~ Forum and Chat.

(in reply to indenturedslave)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/27/2006 5:29:01 AM

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Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline

Happy Birthday Tress!

One of the things I love most about this site is the large number of "older" Dommes like myself that are here. We're not getting older, we're getting better.

There's no doubt about it, flogging is an aerobic sport!

(in reply to MsDominiquenz)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/27/2006 5:43:50 AM

Oumae

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Joined: 1/4/2005
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Belated Happy Birthday Tress.

I think its about what has already been said... living life and taking the positive out of all events.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/27/2006 7:11:21 AM

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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Happy Birthday Tress!!!!

We have not really spoke/typed to one another but I always love reading your posts.
I have learned more reading these forums than I ever could have imagined and you are a big part of that.
I am sad that I never had the opportunity to serve, I think it would have been an amazing thing to have had that experience. That being said, the things I learn from Dominas here, and even submissives, are just priceless to me.
I agree 100% with your view on our increasing age in numbers ( and my birthday is Saturday......wooohoooooo!!! I love birthdays! ) I would not go back to any age. I love being exactly where I am and look forward to the next 44 years with zeal.
Again........Happy Birthday!
LT

(in reply to Oumae)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/27/2006 7:18:21 AM

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Dearest Tress, A belated Happy Birthday---I have 16 years on you yet--so if you think its good now, hang in there, it only gets better---if you want it to--I say it like that for a reason--I see too many people My age slowing down---and I wonder--WTH?--Easter Sunday I took a bad header into the deck stairs grabbing for a frisbee in extreme frisbee--I guess I hit is running at about 15 mph--BAM! Chin, hand, both knees, shins--yeah the scas are just now starting to peel---LOL everyone was like--you have to slow down---ok next time I'll take it at 10 mph--point being--at 54 I am still very active, have a very active life and a hectic daily schedule--everyday the wisdom I have gained allows Me to see things much clearer (not always to the good, but clearer nonetheless)--there isn't one decision I've made in My life that I would change for they all made Me what and who I am.

I am proud to know You, proud to call You a sista in the Life--You work hard to show people all the marvelous facets and yet you bring a deep passion and love---THAT IMHO is what the dynamic is all about--so revel in who You are this morning, for the gateway to life is open--rush through it headlong and passionate and always remain true to Yourself. If you think its good now, write Me in 4 years---<smiles and hugs>

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/27/2006 8:21:54 AM

GoddessDustyGold

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From: Arizona
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Tress,

Happy Birthday, one day late.
To feel like one has lived many lifetimes. Some people take that as a negative, as if they are so tired. Others take it as a positive, and that is My camp.
With every relationship, every new experience, and all the wonderful eras of My life over many, many years, I have taken all and learned about Myself. In learning that, I have been able to make each new stage of life richer and more rewarding, because I am surer of who I am and what I need & want to be happy.
Although I would love to have a companion or two to round out My days, I have also discovered that I like Me, and I am happy with Me, and I can be quite content with My own company if need be. I hope that makes Me a better Domina since I am firm in My expectations and, for the right boy, I will be his dream come true.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 4/27/2006 8:23:25 AM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/27/2006 8:49:16 AM

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Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

Happy Birthday Tress :-)

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/27/2006 4:27:19 PM

apb

Posts: 103
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

In my now 36 years, I've lived a few lifetimes. I've experienced that which makes up both dreams and nightmares. I look in the mirror and see scars and stretchmarks and crows feet and gray hair, and I know I wouldn't go back and live it all again. I am quite happy that I lived through the life I chose, and I'm sure I wore out a Guardian Angel or three in the process. Happy to be here, happy that I survived, and happy that what I've lived through has made me who I am today. I wouldn't have said that 3 years ago, or even 10.

I know that having had some life experiences makes me a better person, but they also make me a better Domina. They make me compassionate when I need to be, allow me to be callous when my subs need it, and help me to put myself in another's shoes and we all need that. Maybe I'm just being nostalgic and mushy because today's my birthday, but maybe it's just a reflective time for me at this juncture of my life.

What in your experiences has made you a better Domina?

I'm not a Domme ... but I am a better sub thanks to your guidance, care and love.

You're probably feeling nostalgic - more than anything because of all the changes you have gone through recently. Big changes ... all to the good.

I wouldn't go back in time for all the tea in China. I love my life just the way it is, and having you to share it with me is the icing on the cake. I look forward to sharing many birthdays with you, as special and more than yesterday was ...

I love you MissTress ...

_____________________________

~ apb

"This is who I am - you can like it or not. You can love me or leave me 'cos I'm never gonna' stop."
~ Madonna

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 4/27/2006 9:09:25 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear Indentured, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Well, I am not 100 yet however, I just tell people my odometer is broken and leave it at that. [Chuckles]

I am known to be prompt and on time for everything. However, the one thing I want to be late for is the date and time of my death.

Having never married, had no children, unless having a parent counts. So, I certainly hope that when I reach the ripe age of 60, some sweet slave will come calling and stay around for a while and bring his buddies also.

Humoristic this morning,

Lady Hugs

(in reply to indenturedslave)

RE: Aging---gracefully? - 5/1/2006 7:34:59 PM

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Happy Belated Birthday MissTress, and I could not have said it better. At 51, I am more than I ever was, and yet I hope to be more at 70. What I know now, I only wish I knew at 36..LOL..but I can honestly say, I am happier being a crone than I ever was a maiden.

(in reply to LadyHugs)

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