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Highs and Lows - 4/26/2006 5:43:49 PM   
aurora31


Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
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The last month or so has been an incredible growing experiance for me. each day topping the next. I have made some wonderful friends who I may move to be closer to. I attended my first lifestyle meeting. I have found a place where I can truely be me. And this last weekend attended my first major lifestyle event. While at this event I got to meet one of my most trusted friends and advisors for the first time. I also went to subspace for the first time.

Now three days later I almost feel like I am bi polar. I go from being incrediablly high rembering all the good experiances I had to suffering from the worst case of sub drop I have ever experianced to date.

I was wondering if anyone else had ever experianced this. Going from being on a high from all the good things that happened to being on a low from the subdrop and withdrawl of those good experiances. And if so how did you deal with it.

aurora
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RE: Highs and Lows - 4/26/2006 5:58:16 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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We can all do this, Dom and sub alike. Being bipolar for real, I have these to offer:

Take extra good care of youself. Make sure you eat and sleep properly.
Do something you like as a treat.
Reach out to your friends; don't isolate.
Write about the experience, both the up and down parts, in a journal of some sort.
If you're creative, work on an existing or new project.

These things help me.

Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to aurora31)
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RE: Highs and Lows - 4/26/2006 6:12:12 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


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To the OP..Be patient, this to shall pass just like your incredible high, eventually you will even out once again and be able to look at the world from a calm space and not sub space or sub drop.Knowing the causation will help you gain better perspective.One usually has to take the good with the bad, for without the bad how can we appreciate the good?...be well..Tempting

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RE: Highs and Lows - 4/26/2006 6:17:51 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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This is why I take an extra day off of an event that lasts 3 days or more.  I need a day to reorient myself, change my pace and get back to the world of not being naked, constantly playing, and having a thrilling whirlwind time.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_202168/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#202459
Link to 6 threads about dealing with sub drop

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RE: Highs and Lows - 4/26/2006 7:15:03 PM   
CERCKL


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quote:

We can all do this, Dom and sub alike. Being bipolar for real, I have these to offer:

Take extra good care of youself. Make sure you eat and sleep properly.
Do something you like as a treat.
Reach out to your friends; don't isolate.
Write about the experience, both the up and down parts, in a journal of some sort.
If you're creative, work on an existing or new project.

These things help me.

Fire   


Good strong advice...going through a very negative space and cannot seem to let go of this attachment...still seeking the lesson.

Namaste,
C

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"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

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RE: Highs and Lows - 4/26/2006 8:20:29 PM   
Proprietrix


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Here is part of an article I wrote many years ago about sub drop. It was written a long time ago & was focused toward a different audience than a message forum, but it may be of some help.
***
subdrop is that feeling of "having the blues" that some submissives/slaves/bottoms sometimes get after a good night of scening or playing. The subdrop has no bearing on whether or not the scene was good or enjoyed, and is no reflection on the Top or how well they provided aftercare. Although, the lack of aftercare can contribute to subdrop. It's a general feeling of lethargy, sadness, loneliness, hopelessness and sometimes worthlessness. It can often be as simple as just feeling a bit down. subs will often question things in their mind like whether or not they are a good enough sub, whether or not they should be involved in the lifestyle, and even their worth as a human or their purpose on earth.
subdrop usually sets in anytime from the morning after to a few days after. Commonly, the more intense the scene, the longer it takes subdrop to set in. subdrop tends to sneak up on a submissive without any warning signs. They may simply wake up feeling kind of blue. Other times they may be energetic and in good spirits, but then suddenly become very quiet and self reflective. subs who are experiencing subdrop will often outwardly appear very calm and relaxed. Some will seem very depressed. Some will be a bit cranky and grumpy toward others around them. submissives who have experienced sub drop many times can usually identify the feeling and express that they are having a "bad drop from last night". Some subs call sub drop "blue monday", "the downs", or "subbie bleck". Many will rattle off a list of insecurities and then follow up with a sentence like "i probably just have subdrop or something."
subdrop usually lasts about 1 - 3 days. Again, the more intense the scene, the longer the drop tends to last. Most subs agree that one of the most important things they need in a time of sub drop is the company of their Dominant/Master/Mistress and a lot of reassurance and security.
A lot of subs say that the following things help with subdrop: Keeping a journal about all those unorganized feelings, even if it means being given an order to journal; drinking plenty of fluids, eating healthy, proper amounts of rest and exercise; talking about the scene from beginning to end, including the ride home afterward; having their Dominant/Master/Mistress read their writing and discuss it with them; being given lots of small easy tasks they can perform for their Dominant/Master/Mistress to help boost their submissive esteem; talking with or being in the company of other submissives; and pampering such as bubble baths, pedicures, etc. Some submissives need time in their spot, in their cage, with their blanket, stuffed animal or other items of security - in peace and quiet to just absorb themselves in self reflection and try to sort out their thoughts with their Top nearby but not being intrusive. Other subs need a small light scene to pull them out.
subdrop seems to go away as quickly as it sets in and the submissive will suddenly feel back to normal and up to par. s/he may feel a bit silly or embarassed about having felt blue and neglecting responsibilities for the past few days and most probably won't admit those feelings aloud but try to compensate by doing more for a few days. They may need reassured that what they have been feeling was normal and that their Top is glad to see them back up to par.
subdrop seems more common after play with a casual partner, new types of play, or extremely intense play. submissives should learn to identify when they are experienceing subdrop and be able to express it. Tops should learn to identify when a submissive is experiencing subdrop and ask specific questions about what is needed.


_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to aurora31)
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RE: Highs and Lows - 4/27/2006 3:38:31 AM   
aurora31


Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
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Thank you all for the wonderful advice so far. I have delt with subdrop before so I knew it was coming. The thing I was not prepared for was the swinging back and forth from one extreme to the other. One moment I am incrediblly happy glowing in the memories the next I am so down questioning everything about myself and my submission. then an hour later I am back up. I know this too will pass but it is so very frustrating with my moods swinging like this.

aurora

(in reply to Proprietrix)
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RE: Highs and Lows - 4/27/2006 4:26:08 AM   
OTKkindaGirl


Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
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Thank you for posting.... i was absolutely clueless about what i have been experiencing.... subdrop.  Thank Proprietrix too for helping me understand it.  Makes so much more sense.  i was afraid that everything i was feeling was probably just insecurities and separation anxieties causing me to be even more critical of myself.   my Master gives me wonderful after care so i guess it is the intensity aspect.  Some weekends are more intense than the others and i just couldn't connect what was wrong with me when it would last two or three days of ups and downs afterward.  of course with the deep emotional connection it stands to reason for these feelings to come to the front.  thank you so much for this post.  i learned a deeper meaning of another consequence of submission.  you have taken a negative and turned into a positive for me.  now i can quit being so very self analytical.  :::whew:::

< Message edited by OTKkindaGirl -- 4/27/2006 4:28:25 AM >


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RE: Highs and Lows - 4/27/2006 6:41:37 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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Don't forget...Dominants can have this too. submissive usually get the "limelight", so to speak, because we always focus on taking care of them. I have in the past very much felt like I was hangin' in the wind, expected to "deal with it" when I dropped, just because I'm the Master. Frustrating. My girl anne is very good about checking on me.

Fire



_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Proprietrix)
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RE: Highs and Lows - 4/27/2006 7:18:47 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
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Indulging in a scene can be like mental heroin and often after the high comes the downer. It's the simplest way to explain it.

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RE: Highs and Lows - 4/27/2006 4:47:31 PM   
aurora31


Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
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Whew...I am feeling much better today...the swings are not nearlly so drastic nor are my doubts to the desicions I have made for my future. Ty again to all for your responses and for helping me through a rough spot.

aurora 

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RE: Highs and Lows - 6/2/2007 1:20:15 PM   
Sinergy


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Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

extra day off




I took yesterday off, but it was more than just taking the day off from work.  I did not answer the phone even though I have lots of calls.  I did not leave my apartment except to go dancing, and since I knew I was not working today, I stayed out past my bedtime.

Then I woke up at 10:30 today, which is about 6 hours later than I normally wake up.

I made the decision to do that because various things in my life are stressing me out.  Additionally, I had worked 9 days straight down in the harbor and I was frazzled.

I stayed home and cleaned.  I figured out that my DirecTV includes satellite radio, and since I have my audio hooked into my stereo I put on blues and 30s/40s swing music most of the day.

Sinergy

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RE: Highs and Lows - 6/2/2007 7:04:12 PM   
szobras


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 It is quite common for a person and especially a focused group of people together, after experiencing a period of intensified emotional, spiritual, and physical participation. We need the time to "de-brief", rest, let things settle,and reflect on the experience. Almost like a "re-entry" so to speak.What goes up, must come down. I know that after being secluded with a select group, I remain in solitude for at least a week afterwards, and have very limited contact with anyone outside of the group that I spent that time with.

< Message edited by szobras -- 6/2/2007 7:05:35 PM >

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