I'm Glad I'm Not Getting PAID for this....

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I'm Glad I'm Not Getting PAID for this.... - 9/29/2004 5:54:42 PM

Whipenrod

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/18/2004
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..because this week I'd be broke.
Just had the fourth session cancelation this week...
One stepped forward to claim a cancelled slot--then his Mom collapsed in the kitchen...! and HE had to cancel.
(Okay--that was a little different.)
Most of these cancellations were for business reasons (last minute snafus at work). I even got a return call from the sub with the sick Mom who wanted to assure me he wasn't a coward.
They all want to reschedule.

The problem is--I interview, and the subs seem eager, they wait for a session, then cancel--meantime--I prepare for nothing and someone else could have used that time. (Two of these were return sessions--two had never sessioned before)

Anyone else have this problem?
Are they scared? (I do my best not to scare them!)
Is this just a bad week?
Or is this typical?

Also--I'd love to hear how a professional handles this--how do you insure that if you take the time to do an interview the session actually happens if you've agreed to it and arranged the time?

Seems I'm becoming an expert at interviews lately...:(

--Lady Whipenrod

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RE: I'm Glad I'm Not Getting PAID for this.... - 9/29/2004 6:20:15 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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I think it is typical of any profession to have a lot of cancellations. I used to give private tennis lessons and always had cancellations and rescheduling. I didn't charge if they cancelled before i left home. For no shows i charged half the normal rate because i felt i should get something for sitting at the court waiting. That was before the days of cell phones.

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RE: I'm Glad I'm Not Getting PAID for this.... - 9/30/2004 4:40:21 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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Whipenrod,

I work as an independent consultant (on top of a full time contract). My time is money too. I know what it's like to have my schedule messed around with. I work on a billable hours type system and I've been known to charge when the client cancelled at the last minute, especially if I declined other engagements. This always depends on the client and their reason for cancelling.

Much like proudsub’s billing for a no show, my dentist has a cancellation policy. If you don't call her within 24 hours of your appointment, you get billed a minimum check up fee.

I know it's harder to implement if they aren't regular clients but perhaps you can set up some kind of cancellation policy. I can see how enforcing it however, I can difficult.

- LA

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RE: I'm Glad I'm Not Getting PAID for this.... - 9/30/2004 6:15:51 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
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I don't have professional experience. But, I when I went to my first munch I sat there in my car awhile, wondering if I really wanted to get out or not. :D I expect everyone has different reasons they choose to get out of the car or not. You come to the fork in the road right before the cliff and it's not so easy to choose to jump. I'm glad I did. I sure remember sitting in the car for that few minutes, still makes me laugh.

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RE: I'm Glad I'm Not Getting PAID for this.... - 10/1/2004 7:56:23 PM

TickleToy

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/23/2004
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Hello Lady Whipperod,

I know as a bottom, I have cancelled a session before and I have also arrived at a top's place to find her missing in action (essentially I got cancelled on with no warning). My cancellation was the result of a business trip and I was able to cancel a couple of days in advance. It had nothing to do with fear, just had to do with life getting in the way of fun.

With luck your cancellations will reschedule and keep their appointment. Ok, in the case where I cancelled I didn't reschedule but that was because I really wanted something more than being a business transaction -- especially where you were never quite sure what the deal was.

T.

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RE: I'm Glad I'm Not Getting PAID for this.... - 10/1/2004 9:35:58 PM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

I started to say I am not a Professional, but on second thought I believe I may be a professional something or other.

So let's just say I don't accept "clients" in the Lifestyle, and I am not a Mistress for Hire. And I suppose it's a darn good thing, because even though rumor has it that I am quite charming, it seems I manage to frighten most poor boys halfway through the interview process. Although sometimes, I admit, I do it on purpose, so I know why they don't come back. I send them to that real far far away place that real scared boys run to. I'll have to remember to *wink* when I say "Boo!" once in awhile.

Seriously, I think sometimes they get cold feet, just like bridegrooms. It suddenly occurs to them that "this is really going to happen!" and they get chill bumps and either rush forward, or back away a bit. Sometimes real life does get in the way. It does for me all the time! I have a daughter, and between the ages of birth and 35, they always seem to have a crisis at the most inconvenient possible time. A little courtesy goes a long way. However, I agree with Angelika, if this is your business, then within a certain time frame, I would expect a cancellation fee.

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RE: I'm Glad I'm Not Getting PAID for this.... - 10/2/2004 2:10:33 AM

MistressZanthia

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
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Yes, it happens all the time. Main reason I've encountered is scariness. And odds are if you spent more than 5-10 minutes on the phone with them they've gotten off on just talking with you (a domme). I keep calls short and to the point, setting an appointment. I keep emails equally short. I do not venture into fantasyland in discussions, I simply set appointments. And all first appointments meet in public and do lunch or dinner (which he pays for) so we can talk in depth about what he wants to explore, my limits, his limits, etc and it usually takes the edge off to not be pressured into play the moment you meet him. However I also don't back down, I am no less dommely at lunch than I am in session. It is fun to watch them go through all the nervous posturing, lol. That pre-session meal consultation is where we both decide if we want to pursue a session. You never have to say "yes" if you don't want to. Neither does he, at the very least you get dinner. LOL.

My way and I am not saying it works any better or worse than any others out there, is to require a reservation fee from them in advance of a session, make them put their money where their mouth is. It weeds out the no-shows really fast. If a sub can't commit to sending you a deposit, he can't commit to following through and showing up, this has been my experience. Just about every new sub (except one) who has paid his deposit (which I apply to session costs when they arrive on time) has shown up. But, I only ask for that on a first session. Once I've scened with him once, I don't need it again when he makes another appointment (him setting a second and following sessions usually means he enjoyed his first experience with you and would enjoy doing it again as well as gotten over the fear factor).

No shows are common in this business which is why a lot of ladies double book. I don't, I take reservations. And I don't offer them oodles of time slots to choose from, what works best for me is to give them two time choices that work for me, let them choose one and have them reserve it via a deposit. What bothers me is the same thing, our time is no less valuable, and a lot of the time you won't even get a cancelation call, they just no-show.

It also helps to find out if they've seen a professional in the past, usually your no-shows and cancelations are novices who've never seen one of us before. Scaredy cats.

Good luck, and keep your day job for now...

< Message edited by MistressZanthia -- 10/2/2004 2:12:20 AM >

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RE: I'm Glad I'm Not Getting PAID for this.... - 10/2/2004 6:10:28 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
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Excellent answer! I do so agree. And I do get alot of dinners that way! LOL
I find I have the most problems with businessmen who are coming to town for one day...Since I limit My Pro sessions to only 4 - 6 per month, it is easy turn them down, but I am in the midst of negotiations for a full studio, so I am going to have to re-align some of this. Hmmmmmmm

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RE: I'm Glad I'm Not Getting PAID for this.... - 10/2/2004 7:38:13 PM

TickleToy

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/23/2004
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I definitely think that the first time someone meets a new domme or sub it should always be in a safe public place, say a certain popular coffee shop that seems to be on every corner or a mall food court etc. It makes both parties feel safe. Also, if the place is crowded enough nobody will hear your conversation.

I also agree that is the best place to interview each other and decide if you feel like you can trust each other and if there is enough chemistry for the session to work.

So far, I have been 3 for 3 in meeting ladies in a public place (two were dommes, one was just a great tickler) and then going on to have a play session. It was the first domme that missed a session then dropped off the face of the Earth. It was the second one that I ended up cancelling on and never returning to. The third one, who is now engaged, was the great tickler. I had a few great sessions with her. Each one was more intense than the previous one as I grew more comfortable with her and she not only learned my best spots but how to read my body and play me like a musical instrument.

I didn't pay a deposit in any of the above cases. Actually, the first one didn't cost as tickling was a hobby/fetish of hers. In all honesty, I am not sure about paying a deposit. Sounds like a great way to lose a few bucks. On the other hand, there are some dommes that are very well known and promiment my local community. Not dealing with someone in a straight up fashion would hurt their reputation. So if one of them were interested in tickling, I might consider paying a deposit.

Also, I had different length phone conversations with each. All initial conversations focused on bondage and tickling. As I learned from my second experience, not all tickle sessions are really tickle sessions. I now have a rule that we start out with a tickle session and if play stays within that scope, in future sessions we can negotiate to explore other aspects of d/s. However, if I negotiate a tickle session and get some thing else, then I will not play with that person again.

In other words, remember what you negotiate and stay within that scope if you want repeat business or play.

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RE: I'm Glad I'm Not Getting PAID for this.... - 10/3/2004 9:35:09 AM

Sundew02

Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
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From my experience, I have learned that many build up the stress and harbor their concerns and fears close to their chest. Never letting the dominant know what is boiling under the surface. I definitely would consider the one whose mother collapsed as a possible reschedule. But if the others waited until the last minute to cancel, those I would not try again. I truly do believe in "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me".
It is interesting to note that in many (not all) of the submissive/slave male profiles they have built up such narrow views of what they think should be their dominant/submissive relationship that they forget their goal is to submit. So when they are confronted with a flesh and blood person, not their fantasy, the door can't close fast enough on their escape. Sundew

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RE: I'm Glad I'm Not Getting PAID for this.... - 10/3/2004 10:44:50 AM

Whipenrod

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/18/2004
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I was bringing up this topic because it has plagued me in the past. Actually, these folks who cancelled are all pretty committed, and I know they'll schedule again.
In the past, I had one in particular who kept saying they were interested, yet when it came time to commit, he was totally absent. He was going through a separation at the time, and I questioned the extent of his 'free time" (my Domme's 'sixth sense) but he swore he was able to session. Later, he even sent me a message saying he 'wasn't kidding--he REALLY wanted a session" and then never returned my calls.
The worst is people who say, even though they live far away, that they will make the trip no matter what. They never do....why I'm sticking to my 'local subs' dictum.

Mistress Zanthia--yes, I figured that the true commitment was a monetary one. I'll file that away for whenever I decide to take the professional plunge....

TickleToy--thank you for contributing to the conversation. I haven't had much experience with anyone who was focused on a very specific fetish. I have turned people down because sometimes they are so focused on their fetish that there is very little wiggle room for anything else. I don't see any reason why your brand would be that difficult because it actively involves the Domme. (this is diverging into another topic--perhaps you'd like to take part in the next one I start elsewhere on this board?)

Otherwise, when I meet someone who is alive and hungry for a session, and shares my enthusiasm--THAT'S the person who shows up!

< Message edited by Whipenrod -- 10/4/2004 7:56:02 PM >

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