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RE: Sharing - 11/29/2010 9:00:44 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
For us... we've made it through someone returning me damaged, a lot more than we forsaw and ya know... my new coat of paint and tune-up is coming along pretty nicely. I feel more like I'm being upgraded than fixed. Kinda a "Well, the speakers that came standard blew. Let's put in a frikkin' sweet sound system while we're mucking about in there!"

Can I ask you how you've come to feel that way about it? Just from someone with a similar experience (getting damaged a bit, getting repaired in stages), I'd love to know what you and your Dom did to make it into a positive experience, both psychologically and emotionally. I'm in a great place right now, but I would love to know if there's something more I can be doing to make accidental "damaging" moments into something good for myself. I realize this is a bizarre question, but you seem to feel pretty positive about it.

I'll do my best to explain it though you can imagine my hand-waving and searching for words as I try to piece it together.

Our first step was to deal with the immediate fall-out. Crying, hurting, feeling numb. Our second step was to really start talking about why this had hurt me so much more than we thought it would. In this aspect I may be fortunate - I've had a fair amount of previous relationships so I had a lot of different break-ups and situations to compare it and my reactions to.

We were able to figure out why I was hurt, not just the things that he did or that the people affiliated with him did but my internal factors that magnified my own hurt. So as we're going along, talking about what happened and taking our little hiatus from dating, we're finding out a lot about I require from the men in my life. And that has been really positive - learning more about what I need lets me be clearer even with Valyraen.

So... yeah, I got hurt. Really badly. But I really don't regret it and neither does he. For now, someone can admire the new paintwork - so to speak - and sooner or later we'll toss someone the keys again. I heal.

Hopefully that makes some sense.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisManeGirl

Darksteven- why does it seem easier for a man to share a woman sexuallly with another woman, but not a man?? Just curious. Maybe I need to start a thread about this.

If I may...

While I positively adore Steven, the popular step-up does seem to be two women, one man. My personal belief is simply because it's been the standard multipartner setup for a very long time. Why that is... well people have written very long papers on the topic.

However... it's not the only view.

I started this thread once upon a time

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3018353/mpage_1/tm.htm

In which MasterAramis (and if he should come across this thread, I do hope that he does note mind me quoting me here) stated:

quote:

Many believe that a woman cannot serve two Masters, nor should a Master share his possession. I disagree. Personally I think a woman can receive greater insights to her submission, her very slavery by such action. I think what it is you are about to do is wonderful.

The man that I became involved with during the course of that thread is no longer in my life. Things became painful yet I do believe MasterAramis is right. I learned a great deal about myself and I do believe that this knowledge has benefited Valyraen and I. And it will only make the next go round better.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/29/2010 9:02:02 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Sharing - 11/29/2010 9:43:06 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

3-Again, this is all kinds of fucked up, but the very fact that she doesn't like this idea is kinda what makes it so hot. I mean shit, I own her ass.

But yeah, the fact that she is doing something she doesn't like, that she is only doing it to please and satisfy me, that in a million years she would never do this otherwise, isn't that the root of slavery?

And ya know what? As much as she wouldn't care for the act (And she wouldn't. She would only comply to obedient), my grasping at the root controls, reaching as far as I can within and yanking, yeah, that'll make her hot too.

Just a hypothetical question here - what if you two did try it...and she ended up loving it, and wanting to do it more? Would that affect your relationship? Would you still find it hot?

Oh damn, I would love it. Another needle to twist. A leash to yank. A new pleasure to give or remove, as I desire. Hell to the fucking yes I would like it.
And she would suffer so exquisitely, twisting between need and desire, hope and horniness, compassion and cruelty, Apollonian and Dionysian...
Grins.
Funny stuff. We talked a bit about this thread this weekend. I think one of the things that people have missed is that for us, it's less about the act, or who we did it with, than the control involved in taking her and using her as I desire, whether she cares for the act or not.

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RE: Sharing - 11/29/2010 9:52:54 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Oh damn, I would love it. Another needle to twist. A leash to yank. A new pleasure to give or remove, as I desire. Hell to the fucking yes I would like it.
And she would suffer so exquisitely, twisting between need and desire, hope and horniness, compassion and cruelty, Apollonian and Dionysian...

...

Ya know... that situation wouldn't happen in our poly set-up... Maybe for a fuck buddy situation... but that's pretty fucking hot to read.

Aqua out...

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/29/2010 9:53:23 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Sharing - 11/30/2010 11:59:08 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

greetings porcelaine,

i just wanted to think you for this post, as it gave me much to mull over and in some respects re-think. our journeys have more in common than i realized. those Masters...that power of theirs, the overwhelming force of their will...it can be terrifying at times. that is where i meditate and hope for the strength to endure, as well as the will to grow.

Greetings daddysprop,

Thank you for the kind words. Sometimes the very strength you're seeking to summon leaves me as well. But in moments like this I find unexpected sources of inspiration that provide some much needed encouragement. I suspect we have more in common than either realizes. Oftentimes your comments resonate with me. But I wasn't always in this frame of mind. Perhaps that's progress.

Namaste.

~porcelaine

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RE: Sharing - 12/7/2010 5:04:44 PM

graceadieu

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I'm wondering if people would be interested in a thread about non-sexual sharing? I'm talking about having your services shared. We do this (e.g., I was volunteered to set up an ad campaign for someone this morning, which is why I'm thinking about this), and I'm wondering how common that is.

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RE: Sharing - 12/7/2010 9:22:41 PM

AquaticSub

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It's been discussed a few times but I don't think recently.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Sharing - 12/7/2010 9:36:16 PM

MaxsGirl

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I really can't say how I'd react, having never been in that situation. But it's not my decision, it's entirely his, and he has never given me any indiction that he'd want to share me. Quite the opposite, in fact.

< Message edited by MaxsGirl -- 12/7/2010 9:42:23 PM >

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RE: Sharing - 12/8/2010 1:04:44 PM

MasterTslave

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ya, for me that is a no way in hell situation...i'd just say NOPE!

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