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How to find a mentor? - 11/26/2010 7:52:02 PM

olgrywlf

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Took me awhile to figure out, and also had some people tell me that I'm a Dom. I like that, but if I'm going to be something I want to be good at it. I read the one discussion here on how to become a Master. I'll check out the books I saw, but how do I find a Mentor? I did go to the Woodshed in orlando one day when they were having classes. (Which pretty much cinched it for me) but no classes on mentors. Appreciate any help.

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RE: How to find a mentor? - 11/26/2010 9:03:06 PM

DarkSteven

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C'mon, dude! You were at the Woodshed and saw a bunch of Doms there! You don't need a class!

Look at the people there. Watch how they play and how well they know their stuff. Watch how others treat them, with respect or not. Listen to what they say.

And if all that stuff impresses you, walk up and introduce yourself. Explain that you are new to the community and want to learn. Do they know of any mentors who might be willing to help you?

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RE: How to find a mentor? - 11/27/2010 1:21:51 AM

DMFParadox

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Unfortunately, there's no work study program for Dominance.

There are a few male professional dominants in the central florida area; there's this one dude who's been plastering ads over Craigslist for a while, and I'm sure you can find others if you nose around. if you had a bit of money to spread around, they might take you up on showing you some ropes, discussing things with you, etc. But it probably won't happen out of the kindness of their hearts.

Otherwise, just get out, socialize and ask questions. See what pops up.

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RE: How to find a mentor? - 11/27/2010 2:47:30 AM

wandersalone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

But it probably won't happen out of the kindness of their hearts.

I would disagree with this but only based upon my own experience in the local scenes so it may differ over there. I have a lot of D (and s) friends who will happily take the time to talk with new people who are genuine in wanting to learn about bdsm and none of them have ever asked for money. From talking with a couple of my mates about why they do this they both said that this was exactly how they gained their knowledge when new and they are wanting to pay it on.

And yep as Steven said watching scenes is great and going up and talking to those people afterwards (just checking they are not still in top space or not wanting to talk). This is actually how I learnt a lot about things I need to be aware of for my own safety as a submissive - I watched floggings, canings etc etc and would ask one of my experienced friends to explain the areas that the dominant was avoiding, things that may be signs that the scene is not going well, strategies to help me take the pain etc.

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RE: How to find a mentor? - 11/27/2010 5:00:32 AM

Plasticine

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FR

Meet people. Be humble and gracious. Compliment the things you like and enjoy tastefully. Once people like having your face around, amazing things start to happen.

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RE: How to find a mentor? - 11/27/2010 5:23:21 AM

GreedyTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

C'mon, dude! You were at the Woodshed and saw a bunch of Doms there! You don't need a class!

Look at the people there. Watch how they play and how well they know their stuff. Watch how others treat them, with respect or not. Listen to what they say.

And if all that stuff impresses you, walk up and introduce yourself. Explain that you are new to the community and want to learn. Do they know of any mentors who might be willing to help you?

THIS!!

Master Cecil is an incredibly awesome person. Very open. If you are honest with him, he can help you.. whether by personal touch, or direction, He can help you find a person to meet your needs/desires.

(and I probably didnt say that as well as I wuold have liked.. but dammit, I am sleepy...)

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RE: How to find a mentor? - 11/27/2010 6:52:52 AM

masterlink65

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Watch,listen, learn. As mentioned, watch other scenes and other doms/masters. Ask for help. There is also an organization called MAsT. there should be a chapter near you, they love to share information. The learning process can take years. Good luck

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RE: How to find a mentor? - 11/27/2010 12:30:01 PM

olgrywlf

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Thank you all for your suggestions and comments, guess I need to start now myself.

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RE: How to find a mentor? - 11/27/2010 3:33:59 PM

Souvenir

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Why another Dom as a mentor?

Another Dom is just that, another Dom, be it a He or a She. They are going to advise you from their perspective and I'm sure you have one of those yourself. My suggestion would be to follow your gut, make some friends, listen and learn to see how things can be molded to your own perspective.

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RE: How to find a mentor? - 11/27/2010 5:05:53 PM

Plasticine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Souvenir

Why another Dom as a mentor?

Because they have been doing it longer? In any art form, people seek to learn from their elders. I've made it my business to let the best flogger in town know that I'd like learn to do it like that. The most sought after suspension artist lets me help him out. I ask the people who have the strongest subs for relationship guidance. As a result, subs who come to me can feel that I take my job seriously and am thought relatively well of by the pillars of the community. It just makes sense to do.

Why have an ego about it?

< Message edited by Plasticine -- 11/27/2010 5:06:27 PM >

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RE: How to find a mentor? - 11/27/2010 9:08:22 PM

Souvenir

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Seems to me Plasticine we are splitting hairs here.
What I see you referring to are acts where a talent can be taught, where as I understood the OP question to mean `his` acts or to polish his chosen title (as in building his own confidence) ... if he meant a talent, of course asking the best is the best way.

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