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RE: What do you do when your sub is tired? - 12/3/2010 5:07:29 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IceEyes

Hi all,

I am cuirious about what you all, both Dom and subs have to say about this.
My slave girl and I both wish to play more than she can handle... let me explain.
We're not 24/7, but live in a Ds-relationship where she puts herself in her submissive role whenever I ask her to.
However, she often work long hours (10 hrs a day) for 'bout 4-5 days a week...

its semantics im sure - but maybe its relevant too.

if in youre head she is youre slave and therefore expected to do what you want when you want and she thinks she's youre sub and 'puts herself in her submissive role whenever.....' there might be a slight conflict of understanding going on here.

which is she, sub or slave, in her head i mean.

if you think she should be slave to you and therefore always available to you and she thinks she's sub and only available to you when she's in the mood or able to then youre coming from two different directions maybe.

just a thought.

doesnt alter the fact that when she's tired play needs to accommodate that, but awareness of 'roles' is an important factor too.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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RE: What do you do when your sub is tired? - 12/3/2010 11:36:21 AM

spunkrider

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/29/2010
Status: offline

You should make a game out of making her lie down. Tell her

to be still and play with her. Don't allow her to move. You can let her rest while you play.

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RE: What do you do when your sub is tired? - 12/4/2010 12:11:13 PM

txurinal

Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
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lally2 makes a very good point. There is a diffference between sub and slave. When owned there were many times when i came home from work where i was tired and would have liked nothing better than just relax. As a slave, that was not my choice. my MASTER loved to unwind each evening by putting me through a good discipline session. Did not matter if i was tired or " not in the mood"

i also had nightly chores to do such as cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, making sure the bathrooms were clean, etc Things that had to be done no matter if i were tired. Now if i were ill, exceptions were made but no excuse that i was tired

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RE: What do you do when your sub is tired? - 12/5/2010 5:53:09 PM

dory007

Posts: 40
Joined: 7/2/2009
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i am chronically ill and often too tired to "play." during those times i do love to curl up at Master's feet. Often he will prop his feet on me. Helps me be grounded and lets me rest at the same time. i too would be concerned about the sleeping with hands tied. doesn't lend itself to restful sleep. an alternative that we use is a leash while sleeping.

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RE: What do you do when your sub is tired? - 12/5/2010 6:11:31 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
I realize that. I also know that some people come home from physically demanding jobs and want to do what they enjoy.

But what they want and what they need are frequently two different things. People want chocolate, they need more vegetables. They want to stay up and watch the late show, they need a good night's sleep.

Part of his responsibility as dominant is to ensure that her needs are satisfied before her wants. You want all the rights, then you need to have all the responsibility. I don't get the feeling he wants the responsibility as much as he wants the fun stuff. Hey, I want the fun stuff more than I want the buck to stop here, but I'm not the dominant in my relationship. Personally, that's how I judge a dominant as someone worth respect, that they have the drive to have the responsibility. The op is young however and it is certainly understandable that he's focused more on instant gratification but in the long run, if he wants a d/s relationship to last, he will have to change gears.

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RE: What do you do when your sub is tired? - 12/5/2010 6:14:11 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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I'm gonna say to you what I said elsewhere on this thread:

quote:

The scenes might not be in her best interest. But why should they abandon the idea of what they want without looking for alternatives first? I know don't give up on what I like quite so easily, why should I expect anyone else to?

I can't think of a single reason for giving up without trying to meet the needs and the wants first. Personally, I'd rather have someone who did try than someone who gave up so easily.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/5/2010 6:15:41 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: What do you do when your sub is tired? - 12/6/2010 11:34:58 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Absolutely. The alternative I suggested is that first they work on fixing the fatigue, getting enough sleep that she wakes before the alarm as well as having a physical. Other suggestions made here include exercise added into the day, either before or after work depending. Taking a half hour nap to recharge batteries. Multivitamin with at least 1000 IUs of DIII. But he seemed to blow all those things to the side, wanting an instant fix, instead of realizing that the fix will take some weeks to get all the parts in place.

Fatigue isn't a quick fix, there's a lot of stuff that needs to be tinkered with. And I didn't see him willing to address all of it and to take the time necessary to keep working on it. I don't know about everyone else, but that's the part that I object to.

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Cynical and proud of it!

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RE: What do you do when your sub is tired? - 12/6/2010 3:41:05 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
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As I've already addressed - there were also people who made play suggestions. There isn't a "true way" of fixing this Celeste. It's just what is going to work for them. And he probably has a better idea of what will work for them than you - he certainly has a better idea of what they want than you do.

I truly do not understand this idea that they *have* to do things this way or he is "BAD DOM" and they can't try other things first or during. Fatigue isn't a quick fix but they want to play now. What is wrong with that? Why can't they play while fixing the fatigue?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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