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LadyHugs -> RE: what punishment would you gave a bad slave (4/29/2006 12:07:20 PM)
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Dear OmahaDom68, Ladies and Gentlemen;
I admit I had to read, re-read and re-read again but, I hope I have an understanding of the circumstances that transpired to which you feel punishment is needed.
These are my opinions upon the matter based on what has been written to which is only one side of the story.
1. Each individual involved in an intimate sexual experience brings more than sex to the “scene.” There are emotions that are manifested. Some of the emotions trigger memories of the past, present and what may be wished for in the future.
2. It is unwise to “control” another’s emotions. If you do, you take/rob from the other their soul and or spirit, which makes them who they are. If you continue the course, you might as well be having sex with a plastic blow up doll as neither will have feelings, emotions, spirit or soul.
3. A slave/submissive places THEIR trust, their body, their mind, their total self into a dominant’s hands to protect, defend, comfort and cherish them in all respects, to include sex and not to exclude their emotional, spiritual and or mental realms. The betrayal hurts deeply.
4. Emotions at times require time to “register” and or “put into logical understanding and or words.” Profound emotions, such as love, hate, grief and pain to name a few, takes time to put to words and express them honestly. To force emotions before they are ready to be shared is very unkind and is disrespectful to another (in this case your submissive). The submissive is within their rights to protect themselves, even protect themselves from their dominants. Perhaps, that feeling of protection was lost and that was faith broken.
5. Have you considered, that there is a chance, that the submissive has made you jealous or caused you insecurity, as to appreciate someone’s gift through a sexual experience, that you have to ruin it for her by pressing her and or robbing her of the feeling? You should be happy that she had some pleasure from someone, even if it wasn’t from you. It is a quest for dominants to see their charges “live” and “love life,’ to be free and feel no guilt for feelings, emotions and experiences.
6. Putting the submissive in a position that they are not physically, emotionally, mentally and spirit ready, is planting the seeds of "fear" and "doubt" into themselves and destroys faith in the dominant who lacks patience and paces themself to the pace of the slave/submissive. For example, if I knew you had a fear of water, as a dominant I pushed you onto the end of a spring board/platform/plank and then asked if you were ready, you said no but, I pushed you off without any thought to your feelings or failed to listen; you are put into the deep waters and thrash in panic until someone/something rescues you from the situation. How would you feel? Perhaps that is what your submissive might feel.
I will have to agree with the majority of those who responded. The submissive shouldn’t be punished for attempting to spare your feelings or delaying her response as to savor a special moment in her life. As a dominant you placed her into the situation and you need to suffer the consequences of your control/dominant choices. Just because you did not get the results you wanted, it is not fair to have a case of sour grapes and take it out on the submissive.
Personally, I would not punish the submissive but, praise them for exceeding the limits and apologize for any misdeeds done as a dominant to betray the sacred trust. Communication is important. To admit to being human is realistic.
Respectfully submitted;
Lady Hugs
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