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Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/1/2010 4:25:39 PM   
AAkasha


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What do dominant women think about the act of seduction - and what do submissive men desire (dream for?) regarding how a woman embraces seduction?  I consider seduction to be a great deal of fun, a huge rush and a big part of my topping/dominant side, but it's not something I'm able to engage in nearly as often as I'd like. 

When I think of seduction, I think of it is as the process of luring a man into enduring acts or situations that go against his instinct, his ego, his comfort zone -- of course, not allowing anything bad to happen to him as a result  -- but clearly directing the action.  Seduction is most often seen as a sexually or sensually driven process - a man responding favorably against his better judgment because he's turned on or excited about the physically possibilities -- but seduction can also be a process of the mind.  A man can be seduced by words, body language or ideas just as easily as by sex appeal, a "nice rack" or showing enough thigh.

I learned as a teenager/college-aged woman that men liked to be seduced - they liked to be pursued - they liked to feel desired or even a bit objectified. I had no fear when it came to approaching men or trying to figure out how to seduce them -- my goal was always to 'seduce them into bondage' or whatever S&M games I had on my mind, and these were vanilla guys, so some seduction was required in order to get them to go along with it.  The process was infinitely more exciting and rewarding to me if the vulnerability and fear were real, which made exploring the process even more compelling to me.  At the same time, I never wanted to approach a man without substance, I was highly selective and extremely concerned with being perceived as exciting and alluring but not sexually available.  It's also hard to explain, but I was more interested in finding a man to direct my attention toward, not trying to attract attention inward to toward myself.  That requires a subtle kind of seduction, not a walk-into-the-room-and-advertise kind of seduction.

Some femdoms I've met seem to enjoy female dominance more for a freedom FROM seduction; the desire to be appropriately courted after setting the standards, the desire to be on the receiving end of attention that they can mold and direct according to their needs.  While I'm more of a fan of two-way-street relationships also, I definitely prefer to play the role of seductress or predator to queen or princess.

Is seduction an act of dominance?  Or is it merely an "act"?

Akasha


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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/1/2010 5:41:24 PM   
dominalisa


Posts: 129
Status: offline 		Nice to see you on here, Akasha. To me, seduction is not an "act". It's a way of being. It's intregal to my style of domination. Whether that's seducing a male initially into my web, seducing him to want to try something specific and getting him to really want it, or even both of us trying to seduce each other a bit through some flirting.

I've never really tried to seduce a vanilla guy like you said since I haven't looked for or found a vanilla guy that I would want. I tend to look for and like males that already know they're submissive. But I can see how you would find seducing a vanilla guy challenging. In the past, I've seduced a few males who claimed to be dominant only in the lifestyle into really wanting to be submissive to Me. I liked the mental challenge but I still prefer submissive males who already know they want to please a Woman.

Mistress Lisa

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/1/2010 5:46:27 PM   
Iholdthestrings


Posts: 172
Joined: 9/23/2010
From: Fort Wayne, IN
Status: offline 		Seduction is a huge part of who I am as a dominant. No matter what the subject matter happens to be, there is a serious thread of sexual tension running through it. It's just how I operate. I'm a shameless tease, I'm well aware of My "feminine wiles" and how to use them, and lust (especially the unrequited/unrewarded kind) is My kinky drug of choice. Recently, the boy I'm courting called Me a succubus. I almost argued, and then I realized he was absolutely correct. I feed off that shit. Want Me. Need Me. Do things you wouldn't do if they didn't garner My attention. Fucking delicious.

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/1/2010 8:07:54 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I don't think I'm subtle enough to be seductive.

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 4:45:18 AM   
subrob1967


Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline 		As a male submissive, I love it.

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 4:00:52 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

It's also hard to explain, but I was more interested in finding a man to direct my attention toward, not trying to attract attention inward to toward myself.  That requires a subtle kind of seduction, not a walk-into-the-room-and-advertise kind of seduction.


I can't grasp what that means, Akasha.  Can you explain a different way?

As for seduction in general:  my first thought is that I wish more women would do it.  Or at least try it.  Most women, in my experience, are Lady Hibiscuses (per her post above) - they've seen it adeptly done by actresses on moody Hollywood films, have thought 'Hell, I can't do that - that's just not me!' - and given up trying. 

IMO, the simplest way a woman can seduce a man is just by invading his space.  Stand closer than normal, look directly at his face, touch him more than normal.  Simple things like that make me feel awkward, uncomfortable, shifty and really, really turned on. 

Heh.  My tip: just watch French women in action.  It seems to come completely naturally to them.

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 4:17:11 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Darling, I never said I gave up trying! I am just very *direct*. Make eye contact, lots of it, get close, take up some of his personal space... it works.

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 5:27:17 PM   
PeonForHer


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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Darling, I never said I gave up trying! I am just very *direct*. Make eye contact, lots of it, get close, take up some of his personal space... it works.


Of course it works.  Why wouldn't it? 

The main reason women don't seduce men more often is because they're basically chickenshit.  Seriously (i.e., before someone gets on my case for 'bantering'), I believe that women seducing men is one of the last battles yet to be won by women.  Get used to it:  you're just going to feel uncomfortable, inept and nowhere near as cool as the film stars when they do it.  Well, tough shit.  You want to dominate men: so go ahead and dominate them. 

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 12/2/2010 5:38:04 PM >

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 5:33:33 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Um. Who said they didn't feel up to it? I've been honing my methods since childhood! It's second nature, now.



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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 5:40:26 PM   
ReginaMirus


Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		Seems like a waste of time to me.

If you want me, then you want me. I'm not going to spend time trying to fenagle someone or "lead them astray" (which is the literal definition of the word SEDUCE). If I really HAVE to win someone over, I'd like to think I'd done it fair and square, and not wasted alot of time trying to beguile him or her under false pretenses.

< Message edited by ReginaMirus -- 12/2/2010 5:41:19 PM >

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 5:47:16 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I think this is about the thrill of chasing and conquering, RM.  That's the buzz.  Notwithstanding dictionary definitions of 'seducing', I don't think it has anything to do with winning someone over by dishonest means.

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 5:47:52 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		@ReginaMirus, that is what I mean by not being seductive! If I am interested, I show it. If I don't get a positive response, I move on. It's the yes-no-maybe dance that I just cannot be bothered with. That does't mean I'm an utter cavewoman, it means that my desire travels in straight lines. I can tease, cajole, make him think it was his idea, whatever works. I'm not going to be deceptive, though, or falsely coy. I see what I want, I pursue.

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 5:55:09 PM   
ReginaMirus


Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		I'm pretty much the same way. I'm an old boychaser from WAAAAAAY back, until it was indoctrinated out of me that nice girls don't behave that way. Fortunately though, it didn't stick. ;)

To each their own and all, but if I'm really attracted to him, I'm not going to spin my wheels trying to beguile him and play the coy seductress. It's just so NOT my bag.

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 6:32:31 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		The direct approach is so fun, too, because they *still* don't seem to expect it.

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 6:37:45 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus
I'm not going to spin my wheels trying to beguile him and play the coy seductress. It's just so NOT my bag.


RM,

[Again, without wanting to get into 'banter', which I know Akasha hates because she feels that it destroys serious discussions, and with due recognition to how vibrantly this thread was going before I joined in, etc, etc . . . .]

I'm sorry, but I don't think you're 'getting with the programme' here.  I don't think that Akasha is talking about 'coy seductresses' - and neither am I.  There's a clearly dominant sort of seducing that women can do, if they want to, and if they have the guts to. 

It goes like this: You see a man you like.  You deliberately tease him and make him feel awkward.  The more his eyes shift around, the more you look directly into them.  You enjoy his fidgeting every time you touch him on his arms or his face. You might even - very briskly, so that he doesn't know if it's an accident or not - brush his crotch with your arm.  Whatever: it doesn't matter.  The fun's in getting him more and more turned on, at the same time as making him feeling more and more awkward and unsettled.  Or so I'd like to imagine it.

That, to me, is a domme being really good at domme-seduction, anyway.  And, yup, I'm totally up for it.  Hell, yes.  

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 6:39:06 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

The direct approach is so fun, too, because they *still* don't seem to expect it.


Of course we don't expect it.  That's the point, isn't it?

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 7:36:12 PM   
ReginaMirus


Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		Well, apparently I'm not a good domme-seductress, and just not "with it", then. Damn. Should I just hang up my Domme McDomme card now whilst I'm at it?

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/2/2010 8:16:11 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus

Well, apparently I'm not a good domme-seductress, and just not "with it", then. Damn. Should I just hang up my Domme McDomme card now whilst I'm at it?


Yes.  You are a 100% weed.  When I meet you, I expect you to curtsey to me. 

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 12/3/2010 4:33:43 AM   
ReginaMirus


Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		I might kick you in the shins, does that count?

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RE: Dominant women and the act of "Seduction." - 1/8/2011 4:31:48 PM   
SlaveSubtoserve


Posts: 282
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline 		i always turn to mush up when She/They tell me how delish i look in my double breasted suits!...

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