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Erotic reactions to fear - 12/2/2010 1:41:44 PM   
AAkasha


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Can femdoms smell fear?  Like bees and dogs?  Is that from Jerry Maguire?

So what is it about fear anyway?  I had an idea in my head that I would love to do an experiment that went something like this.  If I sat down across from a man who I found attractive, and who was a capable roleplayer, if he was to simply express absolutely "believably authentic" fear, would I get wet? Would I get turned on?  Even if there was no reason for the the fear, the fear was obviously fake, and I wasn't even responsible for the fear?

When I play this out in my head, I tend to think, yeah, I would get turned on.  For whatever reason, even if it's just a manufactured visual portrayal of fear, I find it really undeniably arousing.  But the thing is, it has to look real -- ie, no silly, over the top, goofy portrayals of fear.  It has to be subtle, seductive, erotic to me. 

Physical demonstrations of fear really turn me on:  changes in breathing, eye contact/no eye contact/eyes down, the right kind of fidgeting, an appropriately timed swallow, the sound of breath changing into a subdued whimper.  But at the same time, totally campy, outrageous, exaggerated, goofy portrayals of fear do nothing for me.

Of course, the best kind of fear is the honest, impromptu, provoked, real fear that comes organically from good BDSM.  And of course I don't mean real fear, like "oh my god, is Akasha going to kill me?" I mean the kind of fear that works in BDSM.  Maybe fear isn't the right word - maybe the word is (my favorite) vulnerability. Or "anxiety" even. But just as "movie theater fear" (scary movie) or "thrill ride fear" are not "real fear" (getting held up at the ATM fear, or getting stuck in an elevator if you have claustrophobia fear), the body is reacting in similar ways.

Does fear turn you on?
Does being "in fear" turn you on?

Akasha


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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/2/2010 3:26:39 PM   
vancraft


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i have heard before that if a guy is terrified random erections can happen from it

Does being "in fear" turn you on?

kinda, in situations i have been scared due to violence around me or something, i get kinda turned on in odd way..

i have two thoughts on why
1. if am scared i want to cower,  run away, basicly just collapse/submit and let someone else deal with current scaryness,
me submitting turns me on either if i am in d/S scene or kowtowing to pissed off biker. so thus fear makes me want to submit thus turning me on

2. heightened awareness, the belief that in situations where you are pretty sure your going to die(thus terrified), you are crazy in tune with your body/senses/feelings, everything feels more intense, hornyness being one of the most powerful emotions you would in theory feel more libido than you ever have due to such heightened awareness

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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/2/2010 6:45:19 PM   
SomethingCatchy


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Yes to both questions

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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/2/2010 7:15:45 PM   
LPslittleclip


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for me its not the fear but more the anticipation of the expected pain or stimulus needles do that for me.im a masso slave so i crave the impact and such to get me where i can focus. for something like needles  or re-cutting of Mistress brand on my chest i do better when calm and quiet not as much in a club.

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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/3/2010 3:14:00 PM   
LadyNTrainer


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I have long suspected that we are actually twins separated at birth.

A hint of fear in the eyes of my prey is like the scent of blood in the water to a hungry shark; tasty and very nearly irresistible.  

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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/3/2010 3:25:26 PM   
kalikshama


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quote:

Does fear turn you on?


Yes!

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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/6/2010 1:41:58 PM   
Wheldrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Does being "in fear" turn you on?


Yes, very much so, to the point where it's actually hard for me to imagine masochistic arousal without an element of fear being present. However, it has to be fear of suffering, rather than fear of permanent damage or other really negative long-term consequences.

It's hot to be frightened, for instance, because I know exactly what's going to happen to me. To know that I'm going to be hit a certain number of times, with a certain implement, and that it's definitely going to hurt. All I can do is brace myself in nervous anticipation, trying not to be overwhelmed by visceral dread of the coming pain.

It's also hot to be frightened because I have no idea what's going to happen. To lie naked, handcuffed and blindfolded, to hear the footsteps of a tormentor approaching, and to imagine deliciously horrible possibilities. The uncertainty can be very erotic as long as it doesn't extend to worrying that I might end up in the emergency room.

So which kind of fear do you prefer to see in your submissives? The dread of the known, or the dread of the unknown?

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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/7/2010 10:23:23 AM   
81song


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Yes of course fear works (at least for me) but I kind of see as fear as a wall that I have to get through, once through it clears my head out in a way. I do not know how to put it but it is like cleaning out the cob webs and fear is a key to that. I had a Domme once pull out the largest dildo I have ever seen and it came with a handle. At the time I think I as being a smart ass at her and all she had to do was pull that thing out and clammed up right then and there-fear. But at the same time I got very hard, so whats up with that? As always in D/s its all mixed in like jumbo.

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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/7/2010 6:19:27 PM   
CaringandReal


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Does being "in fear" turn you on?



Absolutely. It's hard to think of a more intense aphrodisiac. Fear makes you feel wonderfully alert and conscious, so very alive, so very focused and right here/right now with your dominant. I slightly prefer fear of the unknown over the known, but both have their piquancy, particularly if the known is very terrible. Mixed cocktails are really nice, too, in my experience. Fear combined with pain, intense lack of control, even several dashes of humilation/shame, and worshipful ardor is exquisite.

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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/7/2010 9:15:03 PM   
pyroaquatic


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Fear/Vulnerability/Anxiety. Yes, being in that state is a complete turn on. When I fantasize about certain things it is usually when something I have is taken away from me.

Be it my vision, arms, or knowing what is going to happen next. If the next touch is a caress or a sting and where or when it will happen. Fingernails over goosebumped skin and the body thrashes even though I try to will it to be still.

Especially in those sensitive areas like my nipples. Shoots me right through the roof every time.

mmmmmmm......... why does it.... feel like I am writing porn?


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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/8/2010 5:36:18 AM   
allthatjaz


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I got addicted to fear play and oh boy, could he frighten me. The problem was, I eventually got burn out. Now I fear fearing if that makes sense!



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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/10/2010 10:36:52 AM   
AAkasha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wheldrake

So which kind of fear do you prefer to see in your submissives? The dread of the known, or the dread of the unknown?



I had to ponder this for several days.  I don't know; it's hard to say, but I know that these "flavors" of fear "taste" different to me, and they are distinct enough that sometimes I crave one over another.

One version of the fear feeds my need to see "helplessness."  When a man is totally vulnerable and doesn't know what is going to happen to him, that fear has a distinct look and feel and makes me feel a certain way.

When a man knows what is about to happen to him and he's feeling fear and anxiety over it, the rush I feel is different, because I'm able to observe him processing acceptance and preparing for what is about to happen.  This is the thing that pushes all my whimsical 'hero in peril' buttons and fantasies - is he going to be brave, is he going to try to be seductive and weasel out of it, is he going to try to make me feel exceptionally cruel to see if I will change my plans?  The fact that he is fully aware of his plight adds a whole new dimension to it.

I am not sure if that makes sense -- fascinating question though.   One weird thing I realized is that I definitely "crave" one over the other in some cases, and also can recall some men I preferred in one position over the other.

Akasha


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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/15/2010 1:10:45 AM   
Alhirenna


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My submissive being terrified gives me a raw predatory feeling of power, especially knowing despite being frightened, he's getting more aroused and can't resist it. There's something satisfying about the look in his eyes and his irratic breathing. In my opinion its not as fun unless he's genuinely overwhelmed. Especially when he knows I won't injure him but he's afraid nonetheless.


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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/15/2010 3:38:42 AM   
sunshinemiss


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Women in general have a stronger sense of smell than men. 
I don't think "femdom" research has ever been done. 

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RE: Erotic reactions to fear - 12/15/2010 4:56:44 PM   
hereyesruponyou


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Fear in anticipation is very sweet. I love looking into the eyes, even though you can get such nice reactions from someone blindfolded. I must say I love it when their eyes get all big and shiny and they try to beg. That always makes me smile so deviously, which of course heightens the squirming...it's so nice to build the tension together

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