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Valyraen -> RE: Mentoring? Teaching? Books? (12/7/2010 7:13:55 PM)
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I'll see about pointing my Kitten to this thread in a few minutes, because she's an absolute wealth of knowledge and suggestions for literature, and I'm sure that there are going to be others posting on this thread shortly with some suggestions, but here's my $.02.
When Kitten and I got together, she was already far more experienced at this whole business than I - I barely knew it existed, in truth. So she had to break me into the concepts of BDSM and hope that I wouldn't go running for the hills. Sounds like you've already bridged that with your guy, and that's great for the two of you. If you're wanting to provide him with material focused on the psychological and emotional aspects of WIITWD (what it is that we do), The Loving Dominant by John Warren is probably one of the first titles that will be suggested. In our personal BDSM library, we've also got... *scampers off for a moment to read through the titles* When Someone You Love is Kinky, S&M 101, and Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns.
Someone might as well touch on this next bit, and it might as well be me. You two need to communicate - I don't just mean talk about how your day's been and all that, but have a serious discussion about what you want out of a power-exchange relationship, if that's what you're seeking. Communicate ad nauseum, and then communicate s'more. It's a fun road to travel down, but by no means an easy one.
As far as the "how" of it... well, there's really only one way to learn that, and that's by doing. You can read a dozen books on woodworking, but to really learn how to plane down a corner into a smooth curve, you're going to have to pick up a tool and actually get your hands dirty. The same thing is true with the physical aspects of the lifestyle: you can read the psychology all you want, but that's not going to make you any more familiar with a flogger unless you pick one up and practice with it. It's a technical skill that others can help him develop, but he's going to need practice. If you don't feel like donating your bottom, pillows work fairly well, but he's probably going to need feedback on his technique - if a certain spot or blow stings in the not-good way, if he's hitting too high or too low, etc.
Hope this helps!
V
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