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i realised i was a sub - 12/16/2010 12:04:48 PM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
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i didnt know it at the time as i had no idea the dynamic existed but when my very vanilla ex asked me to tie him up and i looked at him in horror i just froze and and no idea why he would want it or what to do so made pathetic excuse and knew i didnt want ever to go there again. it want until a few years later that i discovered that i was normal in my fantasies that until now were never discussed or admitted to

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RE: i realised i was a sub - 12/16/2010 6:22:15 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I hope you didn't put him down for his desires and just explained that it didn't feel right to you. And if he wanted to be tied up, I wouldn't describe him as very vanilla but as submissive, just like you. And therefore not compatible.

I asked my ex to tie me up, he did it, but explained he didn't feel right doing so. That it made him feel like a rapist. I didn't put him down for it, he had as much right to his boundaries as I do to mine. I just dropped it but thanked him for trying it anyway.

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RE: i realised i was a sub - 12/16/2010 7:47:32 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
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my wife dosent like to hurt me and cant bring herself to hit me but understandingly has allowed me to have a Mistress that has collared me and enjoys a service slave. communicating the desire/need for the lifestyle and understanding of boundrys/limits allowed this to happen for me. my wife even says that after a beating i am better behaved, this has helped us alot.

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LadyPact

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RE: i realised i was a sub - 12/17/2010 12:32:22 AM

FETtotheLIFE

Posts: 16
Joined: 12/16/2010
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reminds me of a time i was lost out in the desert had to fight a coyote, was just a kid too, guess you dont realize what your capable of until life pushes you into a new direction, congrats on this step forward phoenix

-Fet

< Message edited by FETtotheLIFE -- 12/17/2010 12:33:49 AM >

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RE: i realised i was a sub - 12/17/2010 3:11:38 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
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well hindsight is a marvelous thing i now realise its who ia ma nd always have been just didnt know it existed.

my ex thinks anything bdsm is the embodyment of evil. he found out my online life once when we were seperated not divorced he hacked my email acocunt. and he was beside himslef thinking i was the devil etc

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RE: i realised i was a sub - 12/17/2010 9:15:22 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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I always had these types of urges but i never acted on them with an ex. I did not understand them myself how could i explain it to him why i wanted things like bondage. I don't think he would have thought it wwas evil just odd. If he would have asked me to tie him up i just could not do it. As Master says to me at work you have to be in control but you do not have a Domme bone in your body.

Matt's littleone

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RE: i realised i was a sub - 12/17/2010 10:40:47 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
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littleone thats what master ays about me to i dont have a domme bone in my body

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