|
tyrasia -> RE: Need payback (12/20/2010 2:29:06 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
You used the hard limit and then a guy rolling on the floor. Not exactly a "Heehee, I'm a making a joke". Perhaps if you'd left out the hard limit.
Sorry the format was not to your liking. i put the hard limit thing because those are things i don't do, i consider them 'hard limits'...but ok not funny...i get it now.
quote:
If people don't get what you are trying to communicate look to your own words first and see where you can improve, particularly when tossing terms that are frequently used to insult and degrade people and their dynamics.
I am pretty sure i didn't sling it at any specific people or group of people or in any way made it personal, but if someone took it that way.....again sorry. I guess many things are a matter of perspective. Please let me share mine so it might clear it up. As i was reading this post the other day i remember nodding a lot so hopefully this quote from the OP in this thread.
quote:
juliaoceana
The fact of the matter is many of these terms did not start out with the intention of being a negative label. SAM is a bottom sort person that gets off on being beaten for being a smart ass. A bedroom submissive is someone who gets off submitting during sex, a bottom is someone who is not submissive but enjoys the bottom role, a do-me is someone who likes to be done on their terms according to their fantasies. TFTB is a bottom that is instructing a top while being in the bottom role. A brat is a submissive that enjoys being naughty and maybe her dom enjoys it too.
Why is any of the above used as an insult to people, or used to denigrate their "realness"? I can tell you, I contain multitudes and I can envision myself doing any of the above for fun depending on my partner and what he likes. I do not understand using these labels as a way to measure the character of a person, or their orientation. They were terms used to describe different dynamics, but they have been twisted into barbs.
My question is this: For those of you who think negatively about these terms because they would not be dynamics YOU enjoy, why do you need to universalize this as somehow making another person an inferior D/s partner for everyone?
This is very good and it happens to correspond to how i personally see the 'lables' (since we all fit and are all right in my view of things anyway LOL) and in no way ment for it to degrade anyone and certaintly never on a personal level.
quote:
I'd be more willing to believe you were honestly trying to make a joke and it didn't come across well if you weren't now complaining about how we have no sense of humor and are making drama out of it. Whatever happened to just saying "Gosh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come across that way. So sorry!" and leaving it at that?
I did do that and would have left it at that if the personal jibes had not been made about my relationship, when quite clearly, the person making them knows nothing at all about my relationship. If any person were to make similar jibes at you and your relationship when they clearly knew nothing at all about it, there is a decent probability that you would have been equally perturbed and would have reacted in your own way to show that.
live well,
Andrew's tyr
|
|
|
|
