The Holiday Effect

The Holiday Effect (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 9:48:28 AM)
After a discussion elsewhere about what might be behind the seeming increase of profiles on kinky as well as other online matching sites, I did a little research and I thought folks might be interested in discussing it. Has anybody else noticed the increase of new profiles and introduction threads? Well, it turns out that statistically, the holidays really do have an influence. Sam Yagen, co-founder of the site OKCupid has even been quoted as terming this as "The Holiday Effect" to explain the increase in people who join sites, especially during December. In fact, December seems to be the month that consistently the highest influx of new members for a number of sites. So, what causes The Holiday Effect? A lot of it seems to be attributed to the additional social pressures during the holidays. There's the celebrating with families, social opportunities that come up through work and friends. For us kinky folks there is even more because a lot of munch groups and BDSM clubs promote holiday parties and get together opportunities as well. There is a lot of focus on time spent with special people in our lives and the absence of a very special kind of someone can seem to leave a rather big void. Something we already know as it relates to the holidays also showing a spike of folks who experience depression. My questions for discussion would include the following: Do you think the Holiday Effect has a measure of influence in looking for others who also participate in BDSM? Do you think the additional pressure has increased your determination to find someone to share an authority based dynamic with? Does the lack of D/s or play partners seem to be more keenly felt this time of year?

TheLikelyLad -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 10:05:16 AM)
That's an interesting question. I literally created this account a matter of hours ago, so I guess I count as part of the Holiday Effect :) . For me, I think I'm more likely to start networking online during the winter holiday season because it's one of those periods when having an unusual amount of time on my hands (time off work) converges with weather that's often inhospitable to going very far or doing very much outside my home. I know that a lot of people do feel a stronger urge to connect with people during this season, but I think a lot of us probably also just find ourselves with time on our hands and start looking for ways to fill it online. I mean in my case, I think I've started posting at most of the places where I am a regular during the winter or very early spring, and a lot of the reason I need a dead period to start posting is that the process of making a profile and picking out a name feels like such a chore. Once I've started someplace I'm likely to continue, but the act of getting started is often driven by suddenly finding myself with time on my hands and less opportunity to fill that time outside of my apartment for a few days.

lovingpet -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 10:08:32 AM)
I think ANY relational void is more pronounced during the holidays. I do think that I personally need the structure that my partner provides me to mitigate my schedule, stress, and likelihood to indulge in ways that are detrimental to me. He makes sure I'm getting enough sleep and eating properly. I have orders to delegate tasks where I can so I am not overwhelmed. He keeps a watchful eye on my mood and health in a way I can't. I do similar for him, but in a different way of course. The biggest thing, though, is wanting to be with the people that mean the most to me this time of year. I spent a couple years as a widow and that was the hardest part of the holidays. My budget was tight and my schedule so overloaded I could have cried. I dealt with illness and emotional changes. The overriding thing was his lack of presence. I didn't need anything else those years. I just wanted him alive and with us, his laughter, and the memories we would make together. Knowing I couldn't have that and never could again was crushing. More recently, it was the void of my grandfather that passed away days before Christmas and there have been others through the years. Loss is different than longing, but the root is the same. We want those special people to be in our lives whether they are newly arrived full of promise of the future or fading into memory and family lore. I do think that many of us here, however, have an additional need if we are missing the person we seek. The subbies lose the person that helps them keep things in perspective and not worry needlessly over so many things. The dominants lose the cheerleader and person that lets them recharge after all the stress of the day. It's more complicated that that, but there is an extra edge in some ways. For those without their special someone this season whether by miles or loss or fate, I wish you a season filled with joy and hope. I hope you can find peace in the quiet times and purpose in the busy ones. I hope that special person is on their way to you soon. All the best of what this season has to bring to you all. As for those who have been blessed with the joy of having those they love close to them, be thankful and cherish each moment. Reach out to those who are alone or maybe feel that way. Sometimes an open home and open arms are enough to brighten a difficult time for others. Merry Christmas... and happy holidays for those that didn't cover. lovingpet

windchymes -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 10:37:25 AM)
I agree that a lot of people have vacation time around the holidays (not me :( ) and have the opportunity more available.

LaTigresse -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 10:47:01 AM)
After I get done with Xmas stuff, I finally get some time to breath and catch up on creative projects. Perhaps the new people just don't have the back log of creative projects.[:D]

LadyPact -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 10:52:17 AM)
Vacation time due to the holidays as well as the weather (more time inside) were also listed as a part of this. I'd have really liked to find some articles with a breakdown to increases as they related to climates as well (something such as higher joining rates related to places with higher average snowfall, for example) but I didn't come across anything.

subinlife -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 11:02:50 AM)
Intresting thread LadyPact. I do think it has to do with being alone, and having too much time on the hands. I know I didn't join this site at the holiday season, but I did join at a rough time in my life. Just months before my mom passed away from cancer. I also think that some of the rise of joiners is the fact that Valentines Day is just around the corner and no one wants to be alone then. So they are hopeing to find that one person before then. Happy Holidays to All.

Missokyst -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 11:32:45 AM)
I hate holidays, with the minor exception of Halloween because I like costumes. For me at least, I avoid joining or doing anything during the holiday season. I have not noticed any more people joining on my own list during the sappy seasonal months.

anniezz338 -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 12:30:05 PM)
I feel people are starting to think of the year they have just went through and the year to come. It's almost 2011, where has the time gone? We think about what do we really want to do. What have we thought of often but not acted upon? It's also the season of hope and good cheer, which can make people more open, resulting in more action. I'm looking forward to exploring alot more of the BDSM realm in the year to come. I would say I'm more open to finding someone more than determined and feeling the absence of such during the holidays, not so much. I wonder what the membership enrollments look like the week of April 15th...lol.

Buzzzz -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 3:11:19 PM)
Maybe . people being away from home and not driving or flying for the holiday need more social time and thus join dating /social sites.. just a guess

littlewonder -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 9:08:25 PM)
No one wants to be alone on the holidays. It's depressing, it's lonely and just plain old sucks. Going to the office holiday party or all the invites at this time of year suck when you go without someone on your arm. I'd rather sit at home alone than go to such things alone. Going to family get togethers and everyone constantly asking why you haven't met someone yet and why aren't you married and having kids yet sucks even more. I don't see bdsm being any different. People are people. No one wants to be alone during the holidays.

DMFParadox -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 11:12:06 PM)
Hmm... comparing climate effect on winter social behavior? That's... that's a really good idea. A place to start - since the original context was dating sites - would be to compare international statistics. Canada-primary dating sites vs. Aussie vs. Norwegian vs. southern Europe/Central America. Culture/legal factors would pollute the results, though. Another might be to just write OkCupid a letter asking for a blog post on northern vs. southern winter signups; they'd probably jump all over that one, they love shit like that. Interesting yet not terribly controversial, a clear win for them. I haven't done the search myself, I'll trust you were thorough. One thing I'll add to the chorus is that winter solstice has traditionally been a time for getting together and socializing; there's a good reason why it's got so many holidays associated with it. Though the biggest 'hot' climate holiday I know of is Carnival, which is decidedly not a winter holiday. I wonder what climates rep the biggest dating site gains for spring, summer, and fall too?

LadyPact -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/21/2010 11:44:54 PM)
Thanks. [:)] I wish I could have come up with some numbers on that, but there wasn't a lot of data. I'd have been really interested to see a break down of new memberships by month and location or some such thing, rather than just blanket statements of saying December was consistently the highest month for new members.

mummyman321 -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/22/2010 8:08:15 AM)
LP, I think you are correct the holidays causes influx. I think it is a multicause reasoning though. One, A lot of people get new computers that have not had them before. People also get high speed dial up as part of their Chrisatmas present. The those first 2 facts now allow people the access to social networking whether it be CM, a dating site or whatever. Now adding to that is free time. There is a lot of vacation time that happens in December. The allows a lot of people to surf the net more that they usually would. mUch of the coporate world shuts down in December. For a lot of companies in both manfuacturing and business, there are a lot less work hours. That is not true for retail business but you will find there are a lot more manufacturing jobs and corporate jobs compaired to retail. I know for myself, I travel to globe for work. When on the road it usually turns out to be 14 to 16 hours days. December for me is a low travel month and I typically am home all of December and have the 2 weeks off at the end of the month. So I am definitely more active on CM then. I am definitely hoping for some Holiday cheer of the BDSM variety as my schedule is free.

RCdc -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/22/2010 12:17:50 PM)
The cynic in me attributes it to gifts and time off. People receive new computers and laptops - particularly teens - they are at home and have free time and then it starts. Plus there are a lot of lonely people out there at this time of year and also people making resolutions to having a better year next year and pre-empt it by widening their 'social' circles. People with time on their hands do things they wouldn't usually do.

BlackTigerDragon -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/22/2010 1:14:10 PM)
I don't think its a social thing. I think the holiday effect is because it is the first time in these peoples lives that they actually have time to think of something else! That's the very reason I joined this site.

hausboy -> RE: The Holiday Effect (12/22/2010 4:04:12 PM)
Good thread. This probably belongs in the "CollarMe Confessional..." but it does reinforce LadyPact's point: this was my situation a few seasons back. The last two Christmas' that I spend alone post-divorce were BRUTAL. So much so, that I spent Christmas morning on the internet, and ending up doing a quick spanking session with a total stranger Christmas night. Afterwards, I felt more empty and alone than ever before. I promised myself that from now on, I'm only going to offer my body to people I really connect with and enjoy spending time with. The holidays are a nightmare for new divorcees and widows, so I'm not surprised at all to see an influx of new profiles. Which reminds me....I've spent all this time on CollarMe....and haven't browsed my Match.com singles. (gawd those vanilla girls bore me to tears!) edited: typing too fast....typo city!

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