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New and confused - 4/30/2006 9:58:40 PM   
urantiam


Posts: 46
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline 		Hello out there. I am new to this lifestyle and I was wondering who should I address myself to if a wish to serve a woman who can date other men or have a Master in her life. Does switch mean that the male sub has to be sometimes dominant and sometimes submissive. If so! Than I cannot do this. I prefer to be always a slave and that the woman I serve gets dominated by someone more dominant than me.

Does that make any sense?

Urantiam
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New and confused - 5/1/2006 4:43:44 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		How about if you advertise as a slave for a dominant female and let her worry about whether she wants to be dominated by another male or not. That would be her call not yours  

~Lashra

(in reply to urantiam)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New and confused - 5/1/2006 5:37:39 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		You might also consider couples in which the woman is the sub/slave but permitted to take a sub/slave for herself or perhaps the couple would permit you to serve them together. In terms of what you would call yourself, you would be always sub/slave not a switch. The type of woman you seek to serve would be a switch, but you would just make it clear that you do not want to switch or dominate.

Spend some time here and on other sites and do some reading so you will understand some of the various dynamics. There are words and terms for a lot of things but there is FAR more that is just very personal.

(in reply to urantiam)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New and confused - 5/1/2006 6:03:35 AM   
urantiam


Posts: 46
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you Lashra. I had not think of it that way. I have been sending messages to Dommes and they do not seem to like the fact that I do not  mind for them to have lovers. But I will follow the advice of you and TNSTEPOUT. I will be patient.

Urantiam= michel

thank you all.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New and confused - 5/1/2006 1:30:08 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Michael....the life of a switch is like having multiple personalities...in my opinion.  Do I top, do I bottom? I want both, but not today as today I am submissive.
Now, I am Dominant, hear me roar.......Damn, why do people make things so complicated?
It sounds to me like you are primarily submissive...Do you actually have any desire or tendencies that ever make you want to Top?
Hell, I'm no help....I'm sorry as I've probably only confused you more, but I'll give you one solid piece of advice and take from it what you will.  
Follow your instincts, be what feels good to you and the people around you will fall into place.    My Best, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to urantiam)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New and confused - 5/1/2006 4:56:51 PM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Michael....the life of a switch is like having multiple personalities...in my opinion.  Do I top, do I bottom? I want both, but not today as today I am submissive.
Now, I am Dominant, hear me roar.......Damn, why do people make things so complicated?
It sounds to me like you are primarily submissive...Do you actually have any desire or tendencies that ever make you want to Top?
Hell, I'm no help....I'm sorry as I've probably only confused you more, but I'll give you one solid piece of advice and take from it what you will.  
Follow your instincts, be what feels good to you and the people around you will fall into place.    My Best, Kevin


     God, I can't believe I'm saying this;  Yeah, what he said.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New and confused - 5/1/2006 5:36:00 PM   
MistWalker


Posts: 90
Joined: 4/20/2006
From: Memphis
Status: offline 		well as best i can inderstand matters it seems as if you wish to serve a switch, not that you are a switch..  were the one that is Mistress to you, serves another Dom,  not completly uncommon it would though make her a switch.. just as i serve my Mistress, but Dom over another male.   but as other be paitient, stick around read up, learn, the Life and yourself, you will figure it out and you will find the One that is what you seek sooner or later. best of luck and welcome to CM 

_____________________________

Alpha in my Mistress's house, bound to her by collar and wedding band.

(in reply to WyrdRich)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New and confused - 5/3/2006 11:33:45 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Michael....the life of a switch is like having multiple personalities...in my opinion.  Do I top, do I bottom? I want both, but not today as today I am submissive.
Now, I am Dominant, hear me roar.......Damn, why do people make things so complicated?
It sounds to me like you are primarily submissive...Do you actually have any desire or tendencies that ever make you want to Top?
Hell, I'm no help....I'm sorry as I've probably only confused you more, but I'll give you one solid piece of advice and take from it what you will.  
Follow your instincts, be what feels good to you and the people around you will fall into place.    My Best, Kevin


I would not call it multiple personalities, just that switches have addtional facets to their personalities that they like to enjoy and use. 

You make it sound as though we are pathologically incapable of making up our minds. 

To the OP: I think that perhaps you should look for a switch, that might help to solve your dilemma.

Best,

LaMalinche


(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New and confused - 5/6/2006 4:17:58 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah, gotta chalk this up as the best advice possible... LOL

- Dustyn


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New and confused - 5/7/2006 8:49:06 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		"Does that make any sense?"

Absolutely not, and that's the best part.

If you are not a switch you do not understand. A switch revels in the fact that, when topping, they are giving their partner the same pleasure that they they received. Whether that is in the form of denial, discomfort or pain is up to the specific people involved.

Trying to make sense is futile.

T

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New and confused - 5/7/2006 10:28:51 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Okay, now that I have slept mor than just a couple of hours every couple of days, let's see if I can wade through some of this...

This is what I am gathering from what you wrote, Urantiam, so please fill in the blanks if I leave any... kewl?

1. Yer a male submissive
2. Yer not so presumptive to demand that any female dominant you serve be exclusive with you, as is her right in a relationship
3. Yer thinking that you will have to switch from time to time

I'm not gonna make any suggestions til you say whether this is right or not...

- Dustyn

quote:

ORIGINAL: urantiam

Hello out there. I am new to this lifestyle and I was wondering who should I address myself to if a wish to serve a woman who can date other men or have a Master in her life. Does switch mean that the male sub has to be sometimes dominant and sometimes submissive. If so! Than I cannot do this. I prefer to be always a slave and that the woman I serve gets dominated by someone more dominant than me.

Does that make any sense?

Urantiam


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to urantiam)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New and confused - 5/7/2006 11:21:48 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: urantiam

Thank you Lashra. I had not think of it that way. I have been sending messages to Dommes and they do not seem to like the fact that I do not  mind for them to have lovers. 


Someone telling me that they don't mind if I have others would likely be met with something like, "well thank you very much but that's not one of the choices YOU get to make". I think what you're probably seeking is called a cockhold not a switch. Cockhold the arrangement at the outset is that you're dressing & sometimes driving them to dates/ sex with others and really get no choice in the matter.

(in reply to urantiam)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New and confused - 5/19/2006 8:17:51 PM   
forluvofmaria


Posts: 59
Joined: 5/16/2006
From: mountains of MD
Status: offline 		Seems to me you are seekig a D/s relationship where the sub is your Dominant. Check the couples section. Or perhaps a house would enjoy adding you....read learn and grow.........heres to the joy of choice, fettered or otherwise.

Maria

_____________________________

Live, Love and Laugh
Life is to be enjoyed, appreciated and treasured

"Only the Heart knows how to find what IS Precious"
Fyoder Dostoyevsky

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New and confused - 5/19/2006 8:36:52 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Well done TNstepsout. That was some good advice for you urantium. Before you look for cuckold, find out what it is first and have a very clear understanding. If I were you I would start corresponding with all the switches on here that have interests that you share.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to forluvofmaria)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New and confused - 5/19/2006 9:06:42 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Michael....the life of a switch is like having multiple personalities...in my opinion.  Do I top, do I bottom? I want both, but not today as today I am submissive.
Now, I am Dominant, hear me roar.......Damn, why do people make things so complicated?
It sounds to me like you are primarily submissive...Do you actually have any desire or tendencies that ever make you want to Top?
Hell, I'm no help....I'm sorry as I've probably only confused you more, but I'll give you one solid piece of advice and take from it what you will.  
Follow your instincts, be what feels good to you and the people around you will fall into place.    My Best, Kevin


_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New and confused - 5/20/2006 12:06:10 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Yeppers.

Best,

LaMalinche


(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: New and confused - 5/26/2006 5:22:56 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche

I would not call it multiple personalities, just that switches have addtional facets to their personalities that they like to enjoy and use. 


All of us have a little sadist in us. It's the part of us that looks at car wrecks, watch shows like Punk'd, watch the blooper shows where someone biffs it. Switches, just get to let that sadist out and exercise it a little.

I'm a switch, married to Master. I don't ever want him to sub (to anyone). I enjoy letting that part of me out and Topping other women.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 17
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