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Submissive Cycles - 1/12/2011 10:15:53 PM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline

Sorry if you opened this looking for some odd contraption resembling a bicycle made of submissives ... though that would be cool.

I have noticed that I struggle with a submissive demeanor more as my menstrual cycle looms nearer and become much more eager to please after my it has passed. I have never really noticed prior to this that I actually differed throughout though I definitely see this pattern now.

I am hoping that I have included enough information here but i am curious if this is a pattern that others notice and if so how do you as a submissive or dominant handle this fluctuation?

edited because I am not good at embedding pictures of submissives formed as a bicycle

< Message edited by coookie -- 1/12/2011 10:18:16 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/12/2011 11:44:20 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

'Menopause made me dominant'

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Post #: 2

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/12/2011 11:50:32 PM

SpiritedRadiance

Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
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You deal with it as you would deal with any other fluctuation in your routine...

Being cranky during your period, while is normally "common" isnt an excuse. It means if your partner wont tolerate the cranky you have to figure out how to make yourself non cranky...

For me its an increase in my intake of fruit and red meat and exercise...

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Post #: 3

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 1:15:43 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

FR

OP, you might find this thread interesting:

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2148577

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Post #: 4

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 4:09:07 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Is it that you aren't submissive or that you don't feel well. Because if you're in pain, and there are things you cannot do, then talk to your dominant about it. I'm not sure what you mean by not being submissive, are there activities you can't do or what?

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Post #: 5

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 5:15:27 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Sorry if you opened this looking for some odd contraption resembling a bicycle made of submissives ... though that would be cool.

I have noticed that I struggle with a submissive demeanor more as my menstrual cycle looms nearer and become much more eager to please after my it has passed. I have never really noticed prior to this that I actually differed throughout though I definitely see this pattern now.

I am hoping that I have included enough information here but i am curious if this is a pattern that others notice and if so how do you as a submissive or dominant handle this fluctuation?

edited because I am not good at embedding pictures of submissives formed as a bicycle

cookie,

It is more common that you recognize..........welcome to the forums.

CP

(in reply to coookie)

Post #: 6

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 5:38:11 AM

CherryNeko

Posts: 330
Joined: 12/29/2010
From: Mexico City
Status: offline

Cookie, sometimes submission in people is directly related to sexual desire. Sexual desire does increase for me, dramatically, twice a month if you know what I mean. If it does the same for you, then that's why!

_____________________________

How many mornings do we have
Before this night ends?
I'm dying surrounded by white flowers
Which scatter in the sky...

(in reply to coookie)

Post #: 7

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 7:06:52 AM

lilredsubmarine

Posts: 62
Joined: 6/17/2010
From: QLD, Australia
Status: offline

Whoa. i hadn't even considered the idea of submissive cycles, or how it might relate to the cyclical nature of desire/hormones/the body. But now, thinking about it, this makes perfect sense. Thanks to the OP and VC for raising my awareness of such patterns

(in reply to CherryNeko)

Post #: 8

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 7:36:46 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

In "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom," Dr. Christiane Northrup discusses how changing levels of progesterone and estrogen affect our emotional state and how at some times in our cycle we are more inward and reflective, and at other times more sexual. This won't happen if you are on the pill.

I will re-read that section and sum it up through the lens of BDSM.

I definitely "nest" right before my period - clutter that I can normally overlook must be cleaned immediately. This is when I declutter my desk at work, wash curtains, and undertake deep cleaning projects.

I feel like a sexual predator during and after my period.

KK

(in reply to coookie)

Post #: 9

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 7:47:01 AM

tartansIutNS

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline

Wowzers i hadn't thought of that before. But i think i behave similarly OP .... definitely tend to nag Him more at certain times of the month about not very important things, which isn't very submissive in my book. i'm on the pill but its one that fluctuates to keep as close as possible to natural hormonal changes rather than slapping you with the same levels of stuff every day. Anyway, going to be watching myself carefully over the next month...

KK look forward to reading your summary.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 10

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 8:17:27 AM

lilredsubmarine

Posts: 62
Joined: 6/17/2010
From: QLD, Australia
Status: offline

i won't get sidetracked by all the evils of the Pill (if it works for you then that's fantastic, but my body hates it and any/all other hormone therapy. Hell, my body just hates hormones full-stop

), but the thing to remember about that horrible little white tablet of misery is that it doesn't take away your own body's natural hormone cycles-- it just "adds" to them to try and balance it out. So if in week one your natural estrogen level is lower than in week two, this will still be the case while on the Pill (that's if it's the type that contains the same amount of hormone across the three weeks). So any GP who says that you can't get morning sickness or PMS or progesterone-cranky or period pain or bloating or any other hormonal symptom while taking the Pill is full of bologna. Likewise, it would stand to reason that it is entirely normal and natural to still experience other cycles (such as submission/desire) while taking that malicious little pill of (bad) pain. Oh, i do hate the Pill.

Um, /end rant.

(in reply to tartansIutNS)

Post #: 11

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 8:49:42 AM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline

Yep, my attitudes towards everything cycle throughout the month. Makes me fun to live with!

(in reply to lilredsubmarine)

Post #: 12

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 6:58:09 PM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline

Hey everyone thank you for the responses! I am relieved that I am not the only one that experiences this. To clarify my situation some, I am not speaking of being ill and having to do things for him. Nor am I really speaking about being bitchy or weepy. I mean within myself, intrinsically, I just do not feel it. The rest of the time I FEEL like doing things for him, especially the first week or so after my period has ended.

@Vaguely Curious thank you for the link. I am going back to read it now.

edited to add: oh and no I am thankfully not on the pill

< Message edited by coookie -- 1/13/2011 7:02:23 PM >

(in reply to mbes)

Post #: 13

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 7:17:49 PM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline

I can't find it now, and it's driving me nuts, but there was a joke making the rounds a few years back:
Studies have shown that women prefer different types of men at different stages of their menstrual cycle. For instance, at ovulation, a woman tends to prefer a man with strong facial features and overtly masculine appearance. When she has PMS, she prefers a man with a hatchet through his skull.
That joke has been running through my head since I first saw this thread.

(in reply to coookie)

Post #: 14

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 8:18:24 PM

lilredsubmarine

Posts: 62
Joined: 6/17/2010
From: QLD, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mbes

I can't find it now, and it's driving me nuts, but there was a joke making the rounds a few years back:
Studies have shown that women prefer different types of men at different stages of their menstrual cycle. For instance, at ovulation, a woman tends to prefer a man with strong facial features and overtly masculine appearance. When she has PMS, she prefers a man with a hatchet through his skull.
That joke has been running through my head since I first saw this thread.

i shared this with my housemate, she loved it too

(in reply to mbes)

Post #: 15

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 9:31:34 PM

Charles6682

Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline

Well,clearly not an issue I have to worry about.Thank goodness.

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Post #: 16

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 9:59:07 PM

lilredsubmarine

Posts: 62
Joined: 6/17/2010
From: QLD, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

Well,clearly not an issue I have to worry about.Thank goodness.

Hrm. Strictly speaking with regards to hormone-connected submissive cycles, perhaps not. However, your profile indicates that you are a straight submissive, so i assume that you interact with female Dommes who would experience similar cycles (perhaps not in a submissive sense, more of a desire/kink sense, as referred to in the post that VC kindly linked to) so it would stand to reason that it is something that you will need to deal with at one time or another. Additionally, the post VC linked to also makes mention of the cycles that submissive men DO appear to experience-- sure, they may not be menstrually-linked, but a pattern exists nonetheless.

But yes, thank goodness you don't have to deal with the ongoing war between ovaries and uterus! my last battle involved a rather nasty estrogen-bomb thrown by my ovaries. Now i'm just waiting for my uterus to retaliate....

(in reply to Charles6682)

Post #: 17

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 10:43:33 PM

petmonkey

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

Psst, everybody . . .
Males go through a hormone cycle too. They're on a 24-hour cycle rather than month-long cycle, testosterone production peaking in the morning.

OP,
Yep, i deal with this too. How i deal with it not only depends on however my cycle manifests at a given moment within the month but on how my submission manifests around my partner in general too. During the pre-menstrual stage, i don't necessarily get cranky as sad. Many of my partners have found ways to take advantage of this in a positive manner.

"Aw, monkey. Not feeling so great about things, teary-face? Give me cuddles." = ]

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Be excellent to each other.

(in reply to lilredsubmarine)

Post #: 18

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/13/2011 11:03:35 PM

lilredsubmarine

Posts: 62
Joined: 6/17/2010
From: QLD, Australia
Status: offline

Anyone close to me has learnt pretty quick that if i'm cranky, it's usually just because my blood sugar is low. Feed me, and i'm fine.

If it turns out that i'm cranky because i'm all hormoney and over-reactiony, the best course of action is to just let me vent like crazy about whatever it is that i'm pissed off about (as IF that taxi just cut in front of me!! does he realise that we have ROAD RULES in australia??! etc etc.), agreeing that i am totally right, until i get it out of my system, have a cuppa, and sit down all sheepish-like and apologise 'cause i know i just over-reacted about something that really meant jack-shit.

A former Dom also discovered that torturing me (the good kind!) helped heaps if i had my super-crankypants on. The adrenaline and the screaming through the gag and the tears just gave me such a feeling of "getting it out". It was sort of like purging all the negative energy. Left me all gooey and subspacey and happy afterwards, too

Finally, if i'm just sooky and teary, the best thing is cuddles. Perhaps even some chocolate and wine. But mostly cuddles, and let me know that it's okay to be a big sooky cuddlepot sometimes.

The trick is to successfully communicate how i'm feeling to Him so that He knows what's going on and doesn't feel like i'm "blaming" Him for my mood, and for Him to successfully interpret and give me what i need from Him at that time. This also applies vice-versa; He needs to communicate how He is feeling with me, and i need to be able to interpret and give Him what He needs from me at any time. i guess that's the same for most relationships though, vanilla and bdsm alike.

(in reply to petmonkey)

Post #: 19

RE: Submissive Cycles - 1/14/2011 3:23:11 AM

Awareness

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

It's irrelevant.

Dominance implies a strength of will which far exceeds that of the sub. While her cycle will impact her emotional state, her response to the dominant is a physiological and psychological one. If she's accustomed to getting away with bad behaviour at a particular point in her cycle, the wise dominant will train her out of that.

One of the interesting aspects of the Pill is that it's known to modify the pheromone mix that women react to. Relationships have the potential to fracture because a women who's on the Pill responds to different pheromones compare to when she's off the Pill. However, this is relevant to purely pheromonal attraction and D/s relationships have often progressed to a psychological interaction which extends beyond physiological response. Whether this makes the pheromonal effects of the Pill irrelevant is a question well worth asking.

_____________________________

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(in reply to lilredsubmarine)

Post #: 20

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