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Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 1/23/2011 9:20:19 AM

MaxsGirl

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I'm about to have health insurance again (yay!) and am badly in need of some health care. The hospital I work for is self insured, so my choice of practitioner is going to be a bit limited. I don't know anyone in the area who can give me advise, and I have very little time for interviewing. Here's the challenge - I am frequently covered in stripes, dark bruises, and bite marks. I'm terrified that I'll choose the wrong doctor (or nurse practitioner, if that's who I end up liking) and they'll report Alpha for domestic violence.

Is there a list somewhere of kink-friendly health care professionals? I've Googled and searched here, but haven't had any luck. Is there a way I should go about this to keep Alpha safe? Should I just lay it out over the phone before making an appointment so that I can remain anonymous and hang up if the situation seems sketchy? Should I save it for the initial appointment? I have no idea how to go about this, and I'd appreciate some advice.

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RE: Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 1/23/2011 9:25:14 AM

LillyBoPeep

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https://ncsfreedom.org/kap-topmenu-75.html

that's the only list i know of.

i've always wondered about the rest of it. if it were me, i'd probably ask them their opinion on kink awareness over the phone so i could stay anonymous in case it didn't go well.

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RE: Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 1/23/2011 10:21:34 AM

MaxsGirl

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Thanks for that but, as expected, no one on the list is on my new insurance plan. So that means I'll have to feel people out randomly. I'm very nervous about doing that.

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RE: Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 1/23/2011 5:35:54 PM

DesFIP

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They've seen it all. They've all done rotations in the ER as a resident where some gay would come in with a light bulb up his ass. They have heard it all and seen it all.

The important thing is for you to go in the first time without any marks, shake hands hello and say that they need to know for their records that you like rough sex, that you will come in occasionally with marks which you enjoyed getting, and that if they aren't comfortable having a s & m practitioner as a patient, now's the time to say so. If you can do this in a matter of fact tone, you in charge of the conversation, then that will tell them you are not being abused. The worst thing to do is lie about it. When you do come in with a bruise, do so with a smile and say it was a great night. That's all they want to know, that this is something you choose, not something inflicted on you. By doing it this way, you and your top are safe, and you have someone you can ask safety questions of.

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RE: Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 1/23/2011 7:12:37 PM

Killerangel

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I have seen it advised here on the boards in past threads to be upfront and bring up the subject first and say that you have marks on you that are of a consensual nature.

< Message edited by Killerangel -- 1/23/2011 7:13:06 PM >

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RE: Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 1/23/2011 7:16:03 PM

0ldhen

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I think Des's advice is the best. I found my NP, GYN, and others by doing exactly as you were advised.

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RE: Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 1/23/2011 8:15:57 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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I just went into a normal dr, and told my new dr we like rough sex I may have marks and bruises from engaging in rough sex, and they said ok. As long as I was fine with it.

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RE: Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 1/24/2011 8:48:42 PM

hausboy

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Hey-
I would check out the Chase-Brexton Clinic downtown. Since they serve a predominantly gay/lesbian clientele, there's a greater chance of finding either a practitioner who is kink-friendly, or at least a referral for someone who is. I used to know a leather friendly doc there, but I don't know if he still works there. It's been many years.
Good luck--and if I hear of anyone, I'll let you know.

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RE: Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 1/24/2011 11:21:47 PM

bemyslut

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The best thing to do is be honest with your physician. On your initial visit, notify him/her that you engage in various sexual activities that can lead to bruising, whelps, body modification, scars, etc...If you do this, there is no reason to hide anything on future visits. Physicians are required to report domestic abuse. If you show up after a session, and there are numerous marks, it will cause all types of bells and whistles to go alarm--we doctors dont care what you do with your personal life, just be honest!

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RE: Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 1/24/2011 11:31:57 PM

BoundSensuality

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As a kink-friendly practitioner, I simply make a note that I can expect to see typical markings. I don't ask questions about specifics beyond whether there are issues that can limit the kinds of play. Any other information is up to the client to volunteer or withhold.
kate

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RE: Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 1/25/2011 3:55:30 AM

kalikshama

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What other people said - be up front and matter of fact. I told the GYN before I got undressed, "You will see bruises. They were safe, sane and consensual." And that was pretty much the end of that.

We get monthly back massages at work and I had the same convo with the masseuse, who was clearly negged out, which created some bad energy, but she got over it.

(The massages were canceled last month and this due to bad sales in Nov and Dec, our normal seasonal slump that nobody plans for >_< )

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RE: Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 2/2/2011 11:28:54 AM

MadamAurantia

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My only practitioner is the campus NP, as I can't afford a real doctor. The first time I went in (Well-woman Exam) I had bite marks and rope burns. I told her about our activities before I even got undressed, and she's been very helpful. I've had medics in the past who were uncomfortable about sexual talk, and I think this should be the first red-flag when feeling out a health care worker. If they can't take this, what else will they have problems with?

Our nurse is awesome. She's even been understanding of: my dislike of conventional medicine, my love of consensual "scrapping," my diet, etc. I'm not a pleasant patient, because I like being in charge of my own health.

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RE: Finding a kink-friendly practitioner - 2/10/2011 4:11:58 AM

ImaginativeWhims

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It's not an easy road, as previously stated here. Just make it clear that it was all done with your consent... also, a big nasty smile when you say it usually helps your argument. The look on my cardiologist's face when I took off my shirt and was covered from neck to stomach in teeth-shaped bruises was priceless. Wish i'd had my camera.

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