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RE: Disppointing Master - 2/1/2011 12:41:29 AM   
CherryNeko


Posts: 330
Joined: 12/29/2010
From: Mexico City
Status: offline 		It is hard to disappoint someone, but if they understand it was not on purpose, all you have to do is be patient and do it well next time. Or, if you can't wait, you just do something you wouldn't normally. Something nice for them!

_____________________________

How many mornings do we have
Before this night ends?
I'm dying surrounded by white flowers
Which scatter in the sky...

(in reply to nightfury)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Disppointing Master - 2/1/2011 1:46:27 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain
But they are final arbiters on whether you have the right to withdraw consent. You have the right to withdraw consent, at any time, for any reason, no matter how much it bothers you to acknowledge it.


you make it sound like its some sort of flippant arbitrary decision to flex our muscles and get all foisty.  people leave relationships when the relationship stops making them happy, for whatever reason. that has NOTHING to do with exercising our 'rights' by law or anything else.  its about doing what people do when theyre not happy, the Dom/me can do the same, everyone can do the same. are you suggesting that once you have a sub you can treat her like dirt, abuse her, neglect her and make her miserable and expect her to stay. and if she goes then she's the one in the ultimate control.  no, she isnt, in that situation she is leaving for her own good because of YOURE actions that you chose to do that drove her away.

yes, indeed, there are subs who will say no and expect to be heard.  then there are those who will not say no - and that is an important point, because in the end the final responsibility is the one in control, to not abuse that, to not make that sub need to leave for their own safety or health.

you have a mindset you are determined to prove to people who live in a relationship where the authority sits with the submissive.  youre right we are dead against it because as subs we take enormous pride in the fact that we DO submit wholesale and to rock the authority base of our relationship goes against everything we live and breathe for within our relationships.  i personally have submitted to one hell of a lot of shite, when i look back at it.  ive allowed myself to be put through the grinder emotionally and psychologically so many damn times i had to pull back and regroup and i nearly didnt come back because of it.  but this is what and who i am and i cant turn my back on that and i cant give up the hope that somewhere out there is a Dominant who can take all i give and can give back.

youre attempting to trash who we are with youre semantics and you say that for a long time youve been battling this out. well, get the message already. youre wrong.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Chulain)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Disppointing Master - 2/1/2011 2:56:45 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain

What do you mean by "compelled?" And I'm not looking for a link to dictionary.com, here.


My first instinct and reaction is to obey. It's what I am supposed to be doing. The beliefs I hold regarding man/woman dynamics and the order of nature, the years of service and tweaking that I've had under my Masters guidance each are part of it but there is also a very primal element which enters the mix as well. There are a variety of females of various species that roll over in the face of superior male dominance and take a submissive posture. I'm wired that way, too.




_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Chulain)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Disppointing Master - 2/1/2011 4:49:08 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		in the end this entire argument is based around the premis that when a slave becomes a Master/Mistress' property, according to historical encumbance, slaves within Ms have no rights, they must stay irrespective of whether it is right for them or not.  to do otherwise puts their submission in question and suggests that they were never properly slave to their M in the first place.

to disprove that we bring in the law and the question of rights to say nonsense.

and in the end, so it should be.  we are not in the dark ages and we do live in a society where we have the right to do what is best for us to do under the circumstances.

comparing the dynamics at work here with the slave trade and suggesting that because we have rights we have power by comparison is like comparing a rainy day to a sunny day, there is no comparison.

within Ms and to a certain extent Ds, whatever power the law provides is encumbant, we cannot shift that law away from us and nor should we.  it is our legal right to choose to be happy and healthy.

to remove that right from Ms slaves, if it could be done, would create an entirely different environment for Ms slaves.  one of genuine risk taking - something the law has ensured we dont have to do.  so yup we can choose to be with someone and we can choose not to be. that is a right.  it is not, here in Ms anyway, a tool of power.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Disppointing Master - 2/1/2011 6:38:10 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		she has the right to obey or leave

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Disppointing Master - 2/2/2011 7:32:51 AM   
brattykajira


Posts: 22
Joined: 7/13/2009
Status: offline 		I live with my Master 24/7. It is hard at times because I am continully making mistakes in my service to my One. I dont beat myself up instead if I have made a mistake I simply provide a tool or ask a request for action to take place to correct my mistake , that I see fits. My Master also corrects me to how he see's fit. There are different ways of course. What really counts in all this correction and worth the wild to do so, is if the person is really sorry and wanting to correct her mistakes. If not why bother trying to correct the person. You first have to see your mistake before wanting to improve on it , so it dosent happen again.

One of the rules from my Master is I am not allowed to beat myself up over a mistake. Only he can make the marks on his propertys flesh. He has control on how hard I need the beaten. :)

(in reply to Chulain)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Disppointing Master - 2/5/2011 8:02:45 AM   
fallenover


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/24/2009
Status: offline 		The very first time I disappointed my Daddy I was inconsolable...tears, wanting to hide, worrying over not only the situation but what he would do, I blew it all out of proportion in my head and was thinking that this was 'it', I would not be good enough for him, better to just pack my bags ready for the door. How silly I was! I also knew he was a better man than that so how could I think he would send me packing over it, it was just panic.

I really don't forgive myself very easliy when i get it wrong, but he deals with it very well (for US). He tells me exactly how I disappointed him, what it made him feel and how he expects things to go forward. He also gets to the bottom of what was going on in my head when I did what I did, so I guess he gets a better understanding of me at the same time. He knows I will punish myself far harder than he ever could, so he let me do just that for a very short time.

He then tells me 'enough', it is over and done with and time to move on. That first time, I just couldn't and he asked me how him telling me to move past it and forgive myself was any different to be told to go strip, dress up, or do 'whatever'? Do I not obey him in all these things and more? A simple question but it did finally dawn on me that yes I do obey him, I belong to him and if he says enough is enough, well that really is the end of it. It still takes me a little bit to get back to my usual self, but it does come.

I have only disappointed him on this level a couple of times luckily, but it was a good lesson for me. Punishment for me is all in the mind, he could flog me all day and it wouldn't be enough. Seeing in his eyes that he genuinely forgives me and loves me, knowing he lets me reach out to him, touching his cheek and whispering how I really am sorry, that is the forgiveness for me and my cue to move on.

Doing a little something fun together after helps too I find.

(in reply to brattykajira)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Disppointing Master - 2/5/2011 1:25:15 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain
But they are final arbiters on whether you have the right to withdraw consent. You have the right to withdraw consent, at any time, for any reason, no matter how much it bothers you to acknowledge it.


Here, I have no disagreement at all.

I, without a single thread of doubt or internal concern, KNOW that the only reason I am *here* is because I chose to be here. I have every *right* the law of my land supplies, I always have had those and I'll always have those.

I have chosen to waive those *rights* while I am in this relationship. I still have them but they're not required in THIS relationship; the way THIS relationship operates.

You're STILL missing the vital aspect...... and that is, no matter how wonderful, how satisfying, how fulfilling a relationship is, there STILL may be aspects that aren't *enjoyable*. This isn't exclusive to D/s relationships at all.

I'm not going to faff about with all the submissive thoughts and feelings, as I'm not submissive even though I am owned. I have no experience of a lot of what submissive girls express or feel. I don't have an undying need to serve and please and have never been led to believe that that's a requirement.

Being *owned* has been a rational choice, not based on anything emotional or any desire to serve, please or be of use. I can leave any time I want to (and have...and returned..lol). It's based in what *I* want every bit as much as what HE wants. It's not all about him. You can only have that IF you have someone whose satisfaction IS all about you. And that isn't and never will be me, and it will never be him either.
It's only *bits* that I'm not happy with .......and strangely enough it's only *bits* he's not happy with too.  The bits that MATTER work very well and therefore, all the bits that annoy, frustrate and irritate are still there, but are small fry.

What has consent and the law got to do with *enjoying* it? :)

agirl














(in reply to Chulain)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Disppointing Master - 2/7/2011 7:26:57 PM   
HisSexyBrat


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline 		Bats my eyes, pouts my lip and begs for forgiveness!

(in reply to Chulain)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Disppointing Master - 3/2/2011 10:47:48 PM   
Herbabygirl


Posts: 21
Joined: 11/16/2006
Status: offline 		My Master and I have a punishment system for when I disobey Her. It is quite simple really and though I may not show any emotion it does hurt emotionally/mentally as well. Every night I am required to roll a die. Whatever the number, I am caned, whipped, flogged, beaten etc that many times. This applies even if I have not disobeyed my Master that day. This is added to whatever count of misbehavior or rule breakage I have daily. For example, the past two days I have only been punished for the roll of the dice because I have not earned any other punishment.

Disobeying Master is really hard on me, even when I don't mean to. I want so much to please Her, but as humans we are bound to fail. Yes, it hurts and yes, one has to learn, but that is part of being a slave.

(in reply to Chulain)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Disppointing Master - 3/5/2011 3:58:08 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		ForeverFree1, again - it is strting to look like you are just going down the threads and spamming the boards. Why not just start a topic of your own where you can discuss your concerns?

(in reply to ForeverFree1)
Profile   Post #: 91
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