Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (Full Version)

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Chulain -> Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/28/2011 12:22:31 PM)

Are there any people active here who would classify themselves as either one? I have no doubt such people exist (because if it's physically possible, someone is into it), but I have never met anyone who characterized him- or herself as one or the other.




XenoMaster -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/29/2011 2:52:26 PM)

Yes, lonely sadistic dominants and lonely masochistic submissives.  :)




Reform -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/29/2011 2:58:47 PM)

I prefer the term "dominant bottom" but yes, we exist :)




LillyBoPeep -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/29/2011 3:09:49 PM)

i have a sadistic/experimental streak that normally works itself out in writing, or in flitting around picking at people (who allow it) at play parties. like joining in on a playful spanking or paddling of someone else, or pulling cups off someone who's doing fire cupping, that sort of thing.
i have no desire whatsoever to actually Top someone in a serious way, though.

a lot of subs/bottoms are sadistic i think -- there are plenty of us who get off on the idea of what's happening to us in a scene. ^_^ haha




allthatjaz -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/30/2011 9:06:49 AM)

I am a masochist but I feel totally dominant even when taking pain. My partner is the same as me and so to fulfill our dominant needs we have a fem sub.




Chulain -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/30/2011 4:51:51 PM)

I suppose this goes without saying, but I can see how a dominant can be totally in charge having his or her submissive flog (or whatever) the dominant. I've just never met anyone in person like that.  I have topped my dominant on occasion, at her request, but it's never an on-going thing. And of course it ends when she says it's over.




Ishtarr -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/30/2011 7:29:31 PM)

I'd qualify as a sadistic submissive, I suppose.

I get off on being dominate, am in no way masochistic and I enjoy inflicting as much pain (both physically and emotionally) as I can on certain other people.




Chulain -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/30/2011 8:33:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr
I'd qualify as a sadistic submissive, I suppose.

Well, you don't have to be. If you feel that's an accurate description of you, OK. If not, fair enough.

quote:

I get off on being dominate

You did say English is not your native language, so this is a genuine, non-snarky question: do you mean "I get off on being dominated?"

quote:

am in no way masochistic and I enjoy inflicting as much pain (both physically and emotionally) as I can on certain other people.

On certain people? I imagine you mean "masochists." If I ask too many more questions, Maxsgirl will come in and again accuse me of doing research.




Ishtarr -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/30/2011 8:49:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

I get off on being dominate

You did say English is not your native language, so this is a genuine, non-snarky question: do you mean "I get off on being dominated?"



Yes, that was a typo.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr
am in no way masochistic and I enjoy inflicting as much pain (both physically and emotionally) as I can on certain other people.

On certain people? I imagine you mean "masochists." If I ask too many more questions, Maxsgirl will come in and again accuse me of doing research.



On certain other people can mean masochists, but it rarely does.
I always enjoy being sadistic more when the subject isn't a masochist.

My preferred style of sadism is more one where I coerce or manipulate the submissive into enduring pain they would not normally accept, and that they definitely not enjoy, because they want to please me or because they want the reward I'm suggesting they might get (and rarely ever actually get).




Chulain -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/30/2011 8:54:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr
My preferred style of sadism is more one where I coerce or manipulate the submissive into enduring pain they would not normally accept, and that they definitely not enjoy

I'm gritting my teeth.

quote:

because they want to please me or because they want the reward I'm suggesting they might get (and rarely ever actually get).

Still gritting.




Ishtarr -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/30/2011 9:02:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr
My preferred style of sadism is more one where I coerce or manipulate the submissive into enduring pain they would not normally accept, and that they definitely not enjoy

I'm gritting my teeth.

quote:

because they want to please me or because they want the reward I'm suggesting they might get (and rarely ever actually get).

Still gritting.



*sigh*

Read what I said:

I said that they didn't enjoy the PAIN involved with what I'm doing to them.

I never said that they didn't enjoy the scene as a whole.
Obviously they enjoy the scene as a whole, especially seeing that they're usually casual play partners... other wise they wouldn't be engaging in the scene.

Enjoying the WHOLE of an activity does NOT mean you enjoy every part of an activity...

I love eating good food... yet I hate to cook.
Because I love good food, I will sometimes endure taking a long time to cook.
This doesn't mean I enjoy cooking... it means I enjoy the result of enduring cooking -> eating good food.

The submissives I play with enjoy pleasing me... yet hate enduring pain.
Because they enjoy pleasing me, they will sometimes endure pain.
That doesn't mean they enjoy enduring pain... it means they enjoy the results of enduring pain -> pleasing me.




Chulain -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/30/2011 9:11:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr
I said that they didn't enjoy the PAIN involved with what I'm doing to them.

Still gritting.

quote:

Enjoying the WHOLE of an activity does NOT mean you enjoy every part of an activity...

Still gritting.

quote:

The submissives I play with enjoy pleasing me... yet hate enduring pain.

Still gritting.

quote:

they enjoy the results of enduring pain -> pleasing me.

I guess I can relax a little bit now.




Ishtarr -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/30/2011 9:51:47 PM)

This is a topic you started, any reason why this particular topic is the only you currently post on where you're actively trying to be judgmental and tell people they're wrong?




Chulain -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/31/2011 7:35:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr
This is a topic you started, any reason why this particular topic is the only you currently post on where you're actively trying to be judgmental and tell people they're wrong?

You mean, where I'm not doing what you accuse me of?

The nature of being a masochistic dominant or a sadistic submissive is one which is totally subjective. "I don't like being whipped, for any reason, even though I willingly submit to it" is just plain ridiculous on its face.




allthatjaz -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (1/31/2011 9:34:50 AM)

The other night Steve and macey-jayne had a wrestle. Before they started I told mj to fight back. 'Give it your all' I said and only give in when you can't take anymore. I knew Steve would enjoy this as he loves a good scrap. maisy jayne on the other hand was in a bit of a predicament. Hurting her dominant was going to be a real battle with her inner submission.
What I didn't expect was for maisy jayne to fight like she did. She's a tough little cookie that gave it her all and every time she hurt him you could see that little glint in her eye saying 'come on I dare you'. I kept calling time because I needed to check her but its like I had unleashed the sadist in her and it was clear she was ready for more.

Now I may of unleashed some temporary sadism but I certainly didn't release any dominance. She had the fight because she knew that's what Steve and me wanted and she fought to her best ability because she wanted to make us proud of her. If I told her to go off and dominate some male sub in a club she would but that wouldn't make her dominant it would make her obedient but I believe she would get some feelings of sadism from such an act.




TheHeretic -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (2/3/2011 7:43:07 PM)

Sadistic dominant/do-me sub with SAM tendencies.




Palliata -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (2/4/2011 9:20:01 PM)

I'm a sadist dom but I also very much enjoy pain. Really hard biting and scratching during sex feels incredible to me so I usually prefer a sub who fights back. The best experience is one where we both come out covered in welts and teethmarks as far as I'm concerned. I suspect it's actually a bit more common than you think, especially for doms, to be both sadist and masochist to some degree. Many probably don't classify themselves that way for various reasons despite liking the feel of a bite or two.




MassyPsych -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (2/15/2011 3:38:22 AM)

Very interesting subject and one that I've found myself exploring here very recently. I guess I'm a rare breed. I identify as all four-sadistic, masochistic, dominant, and submissive. Hence why I refer to myself as a switch. I'm sadistic when I'm being dominant and my main thing is psychological coercion/manipulation along with causing pain. However, I'm also very masochistic when I'm dominant and I can't really feel satisfied unless I'm feeling pain and hitting that right zone. When I'm in a submissive state I enjoy feeling pain just as much but I also enjoy my own personal sadism when I purposely psychologically frustrate a Dom. While I have submissive tendencies, as a whole I don't consider myself to be. I'm equally as masochistic while I'm submissive as I am when I'm dominant. 




gungadin09 -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (2/22/2011 8:19:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain
Are there any people active here who would classify themselves as either one? I have no doubt such people exist (because if it's physically possible, someone is into it), but I have never met anyone who characterized him- or herself as one or the other.


i think it's a really interesting question. As far as BDSM goes, i haven't met anyone like that (although i'm inexperienced). But if you look at masochism and sadism as personality traits instead of kinks...

For the general public (outside of the kinky world), people use the word "masochist" as "well, geez, that guy works two jobs, he's such a masochist..." People use the word "asshole" instead of "sadist" when they're not talking about kink. But, yes, in that sense i've met both masochists with dominant personalities (a few chef's i've known were like that) and sadists (or asshole) with submissive personalities.

i'm sure i will meet people that meet the kinky definitions, too, if i stick around long enough.

pam




MagusAndSchala -> RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive (2/26/2011 10:32:50 PM)

I don't think you'll find people who go by those particular combination of labels ALL the time. It's similar to how someone who's dom 90% of the time and sub 10% is still technically a switch even if, for most intents and purposes, they're a dom.

Personally though I do enjoy my girlfriend's fingernails in my back and such when I'm topping, because I know she's not consciously doing it, and she's doing it as a result of my handiwork. I think other than a dom ordering a sub to inflict pain on him or her then you'll only find small things like this.




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