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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 5:57:37 AM

TheHouseOfHussey

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no not the case at all He is not wealthy, nor does He have employment.

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 6:18:43 AM

OnyxGoddess

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HUGE glaring differences here. "barely 18" makes her master a criminal and a pedophile in most states.

[/quote]

Actually in most states i think it's 16 is the age of consent now with parental approval. I'll say that is the case in CT and FL both states I've lived in and had conversations with law officials on these issues. While they are still considered minors they do not charge with pedophilia per se unless the parent presses an issue i believe.

I could be wrong...any law officials on the board wanna chime in and enlighten me?

with regard to him taking on a 18 yr old...is she mature enough to handle the deep emotions and situations that can exist in this lifestyle? is she going to be able to be self sustaining if anything were to happen and she were to find herself uncollared and abandoned? I only ask that because of a trend of abandonment that seems to be going on and i hate to see people manipulated, used, and lead on by vultures.

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 6:30:38 AM

BLKMADONA

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I for One think one should be older. At the comment at young girls becoming mothers at 13..trust Me..9 times outta ten, it wasnt expected and they struggle..man! how we/they struggle! I know that of first hand! I think if they are living at home with Momma....they are not ready yet. But if they are out on their own(and I dont mean college-to Me Mom n Dad are probally still payin for it thus still constitues are living at home with parents) and making their own money..payin their own bills..then yeah...they MIGHT be ready. I think at 21 they have a better head on their shoulders rather at the age of 18. Now..again..thats not to say that young ones arent maturer than their age(we all know theres a few out there)....but its a character call...if one seems needy way before u go any further...then no...he/she is not ready.

Again..my opinion-brought to u by Blkmadona

< Message edited by BLKMADONA -- 5/3/2006 6:33:06 AM >

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 7:02:40 AM

perverseangelic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BLKMADONA

I for One think one should be older. At the comment at young girls becoming mothers at 13..trust Me..9 times outta ten, it wasnt expected and they struggle..man! how we/they struggle! I know that of first hand! I think if they are living at home with Momma....they are not ready yet. But if they are out on their own(and I dont mean college-to Me Mom n Dad are probally still payin for it thus still constitues are living at home with parents) and making their own money..payin their own bills..then yeah...they MIGHT be ready. I think at 21 they have a better head on their shoulders rather at the age of 18. Now..again..thats not to say that young ones arent maturer than their age(we all know theres a few out there)....but its a character call...if one seems needy way before u go any further...then no...he/she is not ready.

Again..my opinion-brought to u by Blkmadona

Do you think that people should wait this long to get into serious vanilla relationships as well?

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 7:26:48 AM

caitlyn

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I think it's up to the individual, but I'm certainly going to wait on a serious relationship, vanilla or not.

It took me eighteen years to get some freedom, which I've enjoyed for about a little over a year and a half now. Why would I want to give that up, just when I'm getting used to it?

I was a total basket case at sixteen, a lot better at eighteen, and worlds better today. I'll have a lot more to offer in a few years ... more maturity, education, maybe even breasts.

Lastly, whats the hurry? I can't think of any good reason to rush in.

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 8:02:14 AM

Arpig

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How old is old enough? That depends on where they are. In Canada the age of consent for sex is 14 except for anal sex, which is 18 (making them wait for the good stuff perhaps?). So unless she is under the age of consent in her jurisdiction, it really isn't anybody's business but hers.

This whole thread smacks of "control freak" to me....yes you are 18, and yes that technically makes you an adult, but you really are still a child and cannot make responsible decisions regarding your own life.....when is it ok to decide things for yourself...21,25, 30...Hell I am 46 and I make bad decisions on a daily basis.
Simply put, it isn't any of your (or our) business.

And as to your 3 points...

quote:

1. The girl has not finished her education in high school nor started college, education should be her first concern.

Sorry, but the majority of people do not ever go to college, so this is a very middle-class mind set....out in the real world, most people go from high school to trying to make a living, for better or worse.

quote:

2. She lives at home with Mom and Dad and they do not know about her lifestyle. If she can not be upfront with Mom and Dad, how can she be true to herself?

What business is it of her parents if she likes to be tied up and spanked? Maybe they are religious nuts, or rabid feminists....or maybe they are kinksters.....are they open about their sexual proclivities with her? My parents do not know about my lifestyle, not because I have any great fear of them knowing, but simply because it has never come up, and until it does, it is none of their damned business who I fuck or how I go about it.

quote:

3. She is barely 18, has she had time to grow and mature? Has she had time to become a woman mentally? Has she had any true relationships or just puppy love or lust? Is slavery a fantasy for her, or does she truly know what a collar means?

She has had enough time to grow and mature to vote (deciding how the country should be run and who should run it, and to enlist (deciding to offer her life up for her country), so I'd say, yes, she has had enough time to grow and mature enough to accept a collar from whoever she wants to accept one from (deciding how she wants to live her life). puppy love? That term has been thrown in her face for nigh on 6 years by the age of 18....give it a rest. And as for truly knowing what a collar means....do you? Does anybody? A collar means something different for everybody who wears one, so I say it is not she who does not understand its meaning, but the rest of us. You are making the mistake of projecting what it means to you onto her.

If you know this person, then be a friend and mentor; give her information and advice on technique & safety issues; but leave the decision making to her. After all, you want her to let you live your life the way you want to, so have the decency to let her do the same. Live and let live

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 8:27:58 AM

DarkSideOfThMoon

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I am 18. My Dom is 53. I am not collared, because I do not live with him. I know exactly what I want, I am not a victim... age means nothing. Some of my (vanilla) friends, would not be able to understand/deal with a D/s relationship, and some of them would. Age is inconsequential compared to maturity. I have been practicing since 15... in the UK you cannot legally consent to your own harm until the age of 18, but you may have sex at 16... so I guess I broke the rules... Never really been one for rules... Let her make her own decisions... not all relatiopnships with age differences are for the wrong reasons...

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 9:42:49 AM

Lashra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHouseOfHussey

no not the case at all He is not wealthy, nor does He have employment.

Why doesnt he have employment? How does he support himself? Or does his current slave support him and now he needs another?

~Lashra

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 9:58:51 AM

Arpig

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quote:

Why doesnt he have employment? How does he support himself? Or does his current slave support him and now he needs another?

~Lashra

What difference does any of that make?

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 10:22:54 AM

EbonyFtshGoddess

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the uneducated (school wise) and married part gets me

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 10:35:28 AM

kittensmailbox

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i too agree, it is wrong... 18 is too young....

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 11:08:42 AM

Proprietrix

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As someone who entered this lifestyle, not only as a minor, but as a pre-pubescent minor, and is a participant in a religion that considers people adults at age 15, my opinion on this might vary slightly. That being said, there are a few points I would address.

quote:

You have to be 21 to buy a glass of beer
You have to be 21 to go into a night club
You have to be 21 to go to a bdsm private club and most fettish events

These stats aren't necessarily true across the board (as others may or may not have mentioned, because I haven't read the entire thread yet.) A lot of munch groups are now opening their doors to those 18 - 20. And most TNG groups actually have an upper age limit. And I am aware of at least 2 home parties in which those 16+ are permitted.

quote:

So with that in mind what do you think about this?
A 18 yr old girl, still in high school, living with Mom and Dad being collared as a beta slave to a older married man? To clarify the man in question is 25 plus years her senior.

The only problem I would have with this, is if the married man's wife is not an involved participant.
Othere than that, I don't know enough about the people or situation to hold an opinion either way.

quote:

1. The girl has not finished her education in high school nor started college, education should be her first concern.

Education and D/s can both be obtained at the same time.

quote:

2. She lives at home with Mom and Dad and they do not know about her lifestyle. If she can not be upfront with Mom and Dad, how can she be true to herself?

Lots of people are "in the closet" to those they live with, and are still true to themselves.

quote:

3. She is barely 18, has she had time to grow and mature? Has she had time to become a woman mentally? Has she had any true relationships or just puppy love or lust? Is slavery a fantasy for her, or does she truly know what a collar means?

Only she can answer those questions. When I was 18, I had had several good quality D/s relationships, was a mother, worked a good job, and was moving forward to furthering my education. I know 18 year old who lazes around on the couch all day, sponges off her parents, dropped out of highschool, and is a habitual drug user. Teenagers are as unique as adults.

She might be making a huge mistake.
She might be making the best choice of her life.
We all live and learn.

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 11:46:47 AM

amayos

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHouseOfHussey
Just Curious on what the BDSM Community Thinks.....

A 18 yr old girl, still in high school, living with Mom and Dad being collared as a beta slave to a older married man? To clarify the man in question is 25 plus years her senior.

Now I know the arguement that some girls are more mature than others, but you have to ask yourself what does a 18 yr old girl want with a older married man?

my humble opinion it is just so wrong on so many levels!

hmmmmmm............what is you opinion?

I personally don't believe the budding point of legitimate sexual curiosity, intellectual awakening or ability to comprehend the responsibility of choice starts at the age of eighteen. For some it is in fact much younger, and for others it may take longer.

I will say that I believe it is natural for a younger female to seek out an older male, for reasons of intellectual growth, material resource and even reproductive fitness. That her Master may be far older is of no contention to me; when young, it's good to learn from the older ones once you have gotten past the shallow ignorance of your peers (and even oh-so protective parents) to realize the treasure of wisdom available in an older male or female.

If it were my daughter, I would fully support it. But then again, she would have been raised quite differently from the corporate capitalist cookie cutter teeny bopper template that brainwashes our youth in the first place. If you want to find something to be concerned about regarding what is healthy for our youth, take a sober glance at how, from childhood, we are groomed to be good impressionable consumers and apple polishers, from Bob the Builder to Sunday Sermon to socialist college graduate.

That a girl who is of legal age wishes to think for herself and serve an older Master is of little concern to me.

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 12:05:36 PM

Phoenixandnika

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But then again, she would have been raised quite differently from the corporate capitalist cookie cutter teeny bopper template that brainwashes our youth in the first place.

amayos I love how you said that!

Phoenix's Nika

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 1:16:04 PM

Littlepita

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I don't like it and wouldn't want my daughter getting into BDSM at 18. Of course I don't want her getting into a serious vanilla relationship at 18 either. I remember 18 and I know the mistakes I made. However, 18 is adult and they have every right to live their life the way they choose to.

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 1:26:31 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

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I haven't bothered reading this thread, so if I am not the first, I apologize.

If there is grass on the field...play ball!

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We now return you to less juvenile postings...

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 1:27:58 PM

thetammyjo

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I think if one is old enough to get into a marriage or be sent to fight a war, then one should be legally old enough to consent to a BDSM relationship or anything else.

I frankly do not get the gradual extension of "rights" and "responsibilties" in the earlier 20s in the USA.

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 1:42:15 PM

MissA

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I'd have to say as with anything look at the individuals and the situation.

My own personal experience: I met my now Husband (who is more than 20 years my senior) when I was 18 and began a BDSM relationship with him. I knew what I was doing and knew what I wanted and where I was going. I still lived at home then but I was already taking college classes. My parents didn't know it was a BDSM relationship and still don't, and honestly neither do his. No-one is obligated to disclose their sex-life to their parents if you ask me no matter what kind it is. I also have to state that my family loves my Husband and they support us 100%. I don't feel victimized or taken advantage of, I feel lucky to have found a stable, loving, patient man to share my life with.

As far as those who don't consider someone until they are a certain age because they "couldn't possibly know who they are" yet. I have to say first of all this is your opinion and you are entitled to it. BUT - by the time I'm 25 I'll have 7 years of real time experience in BDSM. Many people are novices at the age of 25 and even older. How does that compare? What's the magic number where you "know who you are and what you want?" I know some people in their 40's and 50's still wondering what life is all about and also just discovering what and who they are.

I guess overall I hope people realize you can't judge a book (or an age-difference) by its cover.

~Ms. A~

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 1:51:38 PM

puella

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She is 18... and honestly.. at that age, what the heck does she know? Alot from her own perspective, but it shouldn't look that way to a 53 year old man.

I think it says an awful lot more about the man than the girl that this relationship is taking place.

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RE: How Old Is Old Enough? - 5/3/2006 1:53:55 PM

Lashra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

Why doesnt he have employment? How does he support himself? Or does his current slave support him and now he needs another?

~Lashra

What difference does any of that make?

If he can't take care of a slave properly due to unemployment he shouldnt have one period and maybe he's looking for someone to support him? Ive seen that happen to female slaves before they end up working will the *Master* sits at home on his fat ass watching TV all day. Thats what difference it makes, particulary if she ends up going to live with this guy.
~Lashra

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