Aneirin -> Coming alive ? (2/2/2011 12:46:57 AM)
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Depression medications, namely Citalopram or Celaxa in the US, I have been on them for about three years now for variable mood and depression, which I understand depression as mental confusion and the meds as a stabiliser and edge padding. Now, I believe I have cleared the mental fog and want to get back into the land of the living, but I am of the belief that the meds are now acting against me, what I want to do, I just seem to can not be bothered and have adopted a 'do it tomorrow, no rush' kind of mentality, which is not helping. So, I have come to view the meds now as an evil I must continue with until I get them out of my life, which is no easy task I can tell you even with medic supervised tapering down. Now with the tapering down, or the occasional miss I have discovered something, something I like, but am wary of, and when I described it to a friend, the friend called it, 'coming alive', as what I found, was the sex drive being enhanced, got the horn something rotten and it is not just about relief, the feeling is returning, but it is controllable and with my arts the creativity similarly is returning and that, with a gusto and the desire to get out into the world and breathe deep lung fulls of air being the feeling. The other thing I have always suffered from whilst on the meds, was under confidence and disbelief in my abilities, off them, that is all reversed But a part of me is suggesting what I am feeling is yet another chemical imbalance caused by withdrawal and the feeling isn't real, but at the same time I am aware the meds act as an anchor against change, but I so desire to change, as the meds I feel are holding me back. Has anyone else experienced anything similar from tapering down or coming off depression medication ?
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