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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/5/2006 9:29:58 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

i haven't read through all the posts, so maybe this has already been said.  If so, i apologize.

Unconditional love is possible--i have it for my children.  To me it means, they screw up... i still love them... it is unconditional (imvho).



to Angelic... i see you over there... i agree with post... but in my own opinion... that to me.. and me alone.. is the only unconditional love for me... as for with a Dom/Master... oh hell... a MAN period... i dunno.. I believe there are too many conditions involved...


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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/5/2006 10:26:34 PM   
denika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

well not really. if your dog attacked your child you'd still kill it  




Mmm If it was the kids fault I wouldn't *s* but that's just me.... How can you tell I don't have children... 

denika

< Message edited by denika -- 5/5/2006 10:28:44 PM >

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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/5/2006 10:50:03 PM   
akisha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: denika

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

well not really. if your dog attacked your child you'd still kill it  




Mmm If it was the kids fault I wouldn't *s* but that's just me.... How can you tell I don't have children... 

denika


angel, You're pets are more spoiled then most kids lol  but i still luv ya *g*

I agree if the child is pestering the dog and gets a bit of a bite. i'd spank the kid and the dog.

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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/7/2006 8:35:57 AM   
thegreymistress


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		 Read through most around half of the posts and I did not find one person who shared my belief so perhaps this is one forum I can post my opinion without restating what has been said. Unconditional Love is not Love does not matter what point of view you come from, it is a bs statement (bs meaning belief system) To say Unconditional Love means that there is Conditional Love...If your Love has conditions it is not Love. It may look like what you percieve to be Love...It may feel like you think Love ought to feel....If it does not last and it has conditions or the absolute opposite of condition then it is not Love. Anyone remember the statement Always and Never are lies there are truly no Absolutes. Love in my book is acceptance for who someone is the way they are without changing them....Anything else is worse than a generic knock off in my book. When I love it is for who and what they are now not how they will change for me...not what they will do for me....perhaps others are content with making Love conditional, I just happen to feel that is so limiting and a misuse of the concept of Love......

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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/7/2006 9:23:10 AM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Some people are capable of unconditional love, others simply are not. It's a dynamic of love that is intangible and it's impossible to cultivate it or wish it into being.

A mother's love for her child is often such unconditional love; no matter what happens or what the child's actions, the mother's love never wavers.  Not all mothers are even capable of this kind of love, so the two (motherhood and unconditional love) are not mutually equivalent.

I have loved unconditionally only twice in My life: love for my daughter and for one submissive I've loved with all My heart.

It's a rare thing, I don't expect I'll experience it again from the standpoint of feeling that kind of love towards another.

I have never experienced having been loved unconditionally.  I doubt that I ever shall.  I was never that fortunate.

Those who are loved unconditionally are blessed, yet rarely appreciate or take care of the love they've been bestowed.  Because they don't understand the dynamic of unconditional love, they take it for granted, more often than not.

Those who can love unconditionally have the gift of a truly loving heart, the most precious blessing and burden of all.

If I had to choose between the two experiences: I'd rather be able to have loved unconditionally than to never have known what it is to love someone so completely.  I'd rather have never known unconditional love than to have never loved unconditionally.

Do I hope or long for unconditional love?  Not really. 

I am loved. It is enough.

TexasMaam

(in reply to Submotive)
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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/7/2006 9:56:40 AM   
sublizzie


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Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with you. You can love unconditionally and not continue the relationship the way it is. I still love my ex-husband even though he was abusive. It's almost 3 months since his death and I am still mourning the possibilities of what we could have had if he had not chosen to abuse. I needed to leave the relationship to stay alive, but I never quit loving. If he had changed his behavior, I would have gone back.

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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/7/2006 1:15:17 PM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

I agree with you. You can love unconditionally and not continue the relationship the way it is. I still love my ex-husband even though he was abusive. It's almost 3 months since his death and I am still mourning the possibilities of what we could have had if he had not chosen to abuse. I needed to leave the relationship to stay alive, but I never quit loving. If he had changed his behavior, I would have gone back.


I can completely relate to this post.  My ex is alive and well however, and begging me to come home.  It's hard after so many years of marriage.  I am owned and loved by my Master and love him in return like I have never loved, but I might always love and miss my ex.   That is no disrespect to my Master.  It is only that 20 years of loving someone does not end at the snap of a finger.  Despite the terrible way I was treated by the ex, I don't have the capacity to hate him, or even dislike him.  I did not put conditions on loving him, but I put conditions on being married to him.

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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/7/2006 2:51:03 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		 I can't define *love*  let alone unconditional love....I tell my children and grandchildren that I love them but what does it actually MEAN?

Is *love* an emotional response toward another person?.....If so, emotions are unreliable, does that make love unreliable?

What is the difference between *love* and unconditional love?

What causes us to STOP loving someone?

Isn't *love* a label to describe an emotional bond/connection toward another person.....which being so , would vary from person to person. (In that case, what an inadequate label)


Can fallible, flawed humans love *absolutely*?



agirl







(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/7/2006 4:00:47 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


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quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful
I think the ability to love unconditionally comes the moment you realize it is the behaviour you hate, not the human being. It can be a difficult concept to grasp, but once you do it seems so obvious.

Cin


Cin... I think you're on the money. Well articulated.

- R



Thank you.

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quote:


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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/7/2006 4:15:12 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

 I can't define *love*  let alone unconditional love....I tell my children and grandchildren that I love them but what does it actually MEAN?

Is *love* an emotional response toward another person?.....If so, emotions are unreliable, does that make love unreliable?

What is the difference between *love* and unconditional love?

What causes us to STOP loving someone?

Isn't *love* a label to describe an emotional bond/connection toward another person.....which being so , would vary from person to person. (In that case, what an inadequate label)


Can fallible, flawed humans love *absolutely*?



agirl



I think love is that state of experiencing a connection to another being. No more and no less than that. Once that connection is made, i believe it continues, unconditionally. I don't think love ever dies, although that connection may seem stronger or weaker dependant on many factors.

I like the idea that love is a verb, more than an emotion. Dr. Scott Peck (author of 'The Road Less Travelled') describes it as a willingness to do what it takes to support another being in their emotional, spiritual, and physical growth.

Sometimes walking away from someone, and not allowing them to use you as a catalyst for their destructive (and self-destructive) behaviour is the only way you can put that love into action. (It doesn't ensure that their behaviour will change but it's all the control you can have over the situation, so sometimes it's the best you can do.)

Cin

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quote:


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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/7/2006 4:27:45 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear Submotive, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
There is such a thing as "unconditional love," to which there is no condition, no judgment, no rules and no bias.
 
Love, as a word can also have many meanings so--that can launch from that word alone, into many directions.
 
What "love" that animals display, is a human term to describe as to what is survival, instincts and following the rules of nature.  I am sure that all wild creatures and domestic ones, as well -- display signs of what we know in our human reasoning as "love."
 
But, with anything in life--there are conditions; to which those conditions determine the right to progress as a species and to strip the species of weakness, as it comes to the larger picture of survival and continued renewal.
 
Humans which are more complexed, put forth their expectations and conditions as to best fit the purpose of maintaining a relationship, regardless of what the relation may be.  These can be behavior, attitudes, size, height, personal preferences and such.  Although crude--it is the "human mating dance," attracted to what is formed in individuals minds as to what will be possible and what will not be.
 
Submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 
 
 
 

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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/7/2006 5:52:54 PM   
SweetEscravo


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline 		Unconditional love is a hard one because it is possible for one to love another in many ways.  For example...you love your dom/me, but would you still be in love with him or her if one day they told you "I've decided to be a submissive".  You would still have the feelings, maybe still feel love for him or her if that person had not really changed, aside from their sexuality.

I know I will always love the first man who showed me what bdsm was, but I definitly do not love him in the same way I used to, as I have not talked to him in years.

Love changes and evolves, but that doesn't mean it disappears.

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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/7/2006 7:59:12 PM   
MostEnchanted


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline 		The way I put it did indeed contradict what I was trying to say, Sir Knight.    The way Cin put it speaks perfectly for the way I feel. 
 
I wish you well.
 
Chey

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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/8/2006 2:19:05 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful







I think love is that state of experiencing a connection to another being. No more and no less than that. Once that connection is made, i believe it continues, unconditionally. I don't think love ever dies, although that connection may seem stronger or weaker dependant on many factors.

I like the idea that love is a verb, more than an emotion. Dr. Scott Peck (author of 'The Road Less Travelled') describes it as a willingness to do what it takes to support another being in their emotional, spiritual, and physical growth.

Sometimes walking away from someone, and not allowing them to use you as a catalyst for their destructive (and self-destructive) behaviour is the only way you can put that love into action. (It doesn't ensure that their behaviour will change but it's all the control you can have over the situation, so sometimes it's the best you can do.)

Cin


I also like the idea that it's a verb..but I probably would describe much of what I feel for people in my life as *caring considerably*...I rarely use the word *love* because I DO have trouble defining it and it is incredibly over-used.

 The *Scott Peck* description is a fairly good one. I think it describes love in a way that I could relate to, though I also think that you can offer those things without necessarily *loving* someone.

The fact that we love different people in different ways, for me, makes  the word *love* terribly inadequate. 

What one person may call* loving*....another may describe as *caring, fondness, affection, attachment, enchantment, infatuation.....etc.

I suppose the fact that the word is used SO often for so many different things , makes me wary of it.

People say they *love their country*  ...the WHOLE country?.....they love coffee or icecream, they love children...is that ALL children?.....they love green fields, flowers, the colour pink , or black ....argh....it's bandied about like confetti.

Maybe I *love* to hate the word *love*.... it's such a pants word..or let's say , it's used in such a pants way.

regards, agirl







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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/8/2006 7:42:49 AM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
 The *Scott Peck* description is a fairly good one. I think it describes love in a way that I could relate to, though I also think that you can offer those things without necessarily *loving* someone.


In my mind the question is never "Do I love this person?", it's "Am I treating this individual with love...and if not, why? And how can I change that?" (And yes, I fail at this sometimes, but I push myself to try harder all the time.)

I do believe I love everyone, so have no issue using the word freely.

The difference with my family and friends is not that I love them, it's that I choose to have them in my life in an ongoing and active way. As for being in love, I think that's all tied up with the choice to put someone in that place in your life, and the sexual chemistry equation.

At least, this is the best sense I have been able to make of it, so far! It works for me, as it helps me direct my emotional responses into actions and reactions I can live with, and be proud of.

Cin

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quote:


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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/8/2006 8:09:34 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

I do believe I love everyone, so have no issue using the word freely.

Cin


I find that an incredible statement.......How can you love *everyone*?...I'm asking in all seriousness......I don't see that as viable possibility at all.

Regards, agirl

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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/8/2006 8:51:28 AM   
understud


Posts: 102
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		to love anything you must first love yourself; no matter what form that love might take....pleasure, is pleasure love then.  What is pleasure. Definitions upon definitions, upon definitions...Unconditional love... = love without definition. Illogical, self destructive, or any other label one might care to place on the phenomenon.  it does exist and in some cases thoroughly taken advantage of by the object of that affection. 
Unqualified, platonic, agape love...it exist but has always made me nervous...everyone had needs, whatever they are and no matter what form they take; and love to have those needs met...

i love myself and therefore am able to love others as well as myself and in some cases better than myself.  if i didn't know how to love myself how in the blazes could i love another...Unqualified or no...i don't know, this post had made my head hurt...i've thought too much and my ears are starting to bleed....it's possible to love someone enough to die in there stead, but even in that there was self interest ...they wanted the other to live for what ever reason....this sounded like a straight forward question...no the more i try to wrap my mind around it the slipperier it becomes .  This is a good post, and i need aspirin tablets now...even though i LOVE a good question, if you think about it this is a real beauty.  My answer then...I don't know, thought i did, but i don't.
respectfully submitted
understud

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RE: Unconditional Love - Is it possible? - 5/8/2006 8:53:42 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Uncontional love is absolutely possible.

Unconditional relationships however, are not. 


I could not agree more. I have unconditinal love for my child, no matter what the little munchkin does, I will ALWAYS my baby.

Relationships on the other hand......... their are ALWAYS conditions, even if we don't immeditaly see them.

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