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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 2:13:14 PM   
leadership527


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quote:

ORIGINAL: golemx
I know some people on here may not completely understand it... but I enjoy causing the odd bit of pain now and then.
Actually, I think you'll find that we all get it... even those of us who aren't sadists or masochists. But I think you'll also find that it helps when you ask a question to clarify whether you're talking punishment or funishment. Generally, people who phrase a question in the form of "punishment" but were actually thinking "funishment" get a lot of incorrect answers. That's really what I was trying to clarify here.... is this a punishment or funishment question.


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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 2:25:08 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		more than likely, she's acting out to get you to "punish her." a lot of chicks do that. is she a masochist? it's likely that your "punishments" are what she wants. =p
find out the reason why -- does she feel like she's not getting enough attention? is she just a brat/SAM?
you deal with an attention seeker by not giving attention. seems simple to me.

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 2:46:06 PM   
kalikshama


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Status: offline 		Ah, well, for funishment:

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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 3:01:09 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		"The Look" and being ignored both work wonders on me. But then I'm normally a good girl and they're not necessary much.

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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 3:02:41 PM   
sweetsubPa


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		You said it is early in the relationship. I'd say she is most likely testing and pushing limits. Maybe doing things to find out how serious  you are. If it truly does bother you how she behaves I'd try to have a serious conversation with her. Explain to her that you don't like it or think it's cute. And futhermore, you're not going to tolerate that kind of behavior. I think that it is sometimes confusing for a sub.  You have Doms that enjoy a bratty, playful sub and others that truly want a well behaved sub. If she continues the behavior then I'd take her home right then and there and punish her thoroughly. Providing she's not a masochist. If that doesn't work and the behavior continues, you may have to tell her the relationship isn't going to work out.

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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 3:55:06 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		You two might not be a match for each other. As sweetsubPa mentioned, some men like the brats some don't. Some women enjoy being one, some don't. 

You might try having a heart to heart with her and asking her how she's sees things from her side. Has she done this in the past with others? Does she have a pattern of it? Does it work for her or satisfy her somehow? We've all seen the female profiles that boast that a certain woman has a mind of her own and that she's a handful. As if it's positive attribute...it is to her and to the guys that like that sort of thing.

If she's done it before because that's what the guy wanted but it doesn't do much for her personally then you might have a chance at getting her to change with some corrective punishment. If she's doing it because she likes the dynamic it creates then you two simply might not be a match. I think instead of thinking of how to correct her you might want to find out more about why she's doing it.

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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 6:43:08 PM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Silence always works wonders... so does absence. Would not take long to get the point across.
This.

Tell her that you expect her to behave like an adult and what the consequences are if she doesn't. If she still misbehaves, stand by your statement, get up and walk out.

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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 6:51:11 PM   
MercTech


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Status: offline 		One compact thing will certainly get the attention:
http://cgi.ebay.com/UZI-Micro-Stun-Gun-Pen-Size-500-000-Volt-UZI-SG-P-/220736864891?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3364f1427b

Stefan

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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 7:07:39 PM   
sirsholly


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From: Quietville
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quote:

She will try to rile me up sexually in public when I don't wish it and can't do anything about it.
You are putting up with this...why?

Quite simply, do not take her out in public again.


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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 7:08:50 PM   
sirsholly


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quote:

You need to work on 'The Look'.

Mine still works on my kids, and they are 30 and 31.
Oh Lord...the dreaded MOM face!

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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 7:10:53 PM   
sirsholly


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quote:

Give atomic wedgies


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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 7:16:14 PM   
sirsholly


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quote:

The "stare" only works in public because I've taken the time and trouble to ensure she knows her place in our private relationship. It's called *respect*
This is it, really. She is being blatantly disrespectful.

I honestly cannot see anyone putting up with this type of behavior no matter what their orientation. As a submissive, this would end the relationship if it happened more than once.




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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 7:55:42 PM   
gungadin09


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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
How about the next time you see her you say, "stop doing that".

quote:

ORIGINAL: golemx
Chuckle. If that had worked it wouldn't be an issue.

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
What I'm trying to point out is that something is very wrong in your dynamic if "Stop it" doesn't work when you want it to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: golemx
I know some people on here may not completely understand it... but I enjoy causing the odd bit of pain now and then.


i guess i don't understand it either, nor do i understand the other responses that say to ignore her or withdraw to punish her. i just see that as playing games. But then, i don't really get *brat* to begin with. At work, if i deliberately defied my boss or started playing head games i wouldn't get the silent treatment. If it happened the first time i would get a stern talking to and my hours cut, a second time and i would be suspended, and a third time and i would be fired. i don't know why You're reacting to this situation any differently. If playing games and not meaning what You say is part of Your dynamic, then You're right. i don't understand that at all.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 2/13/2011 7:57:46 PM >

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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 9:00:30 PM   
gungadin09


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09
If playing games and not meaning what You say is part of Your dynamic, then You're right. i don't understand that at all.
pam


Ug. Okay, i'm sorry. That was out of line. i guess what i'm saying is i don't get the whole brat fetish. If that's Your thing i guess i don't have much advice for You.

pam

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 9:15:39 PM   
lizi


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

Ug. Okay, i'm sorry. That was out of line. i guess what i'm saying is i don't get the whole brat fetish. If that's Your thing i guess i don't have much advice for You.

pam


I don't really get it either but it seems worthwhile to the people who are drawn to it. The men who have such a submissive seem to feel that they've got something special, a submissive who is only submissive to them and they have to 'manage' this submissive kind of like a lion tamer or something. It's like they have a tiger in a cage and they're proud of that. It somehow reflects back on them in their own eyes, like they've got to have game to have the bratty type kept in her place. It's like she's giving them something special by being disobedient at times and they have to work at being her superior. They like being kept on their toes not knowing what to expect, and then wrangling the submissive back into 'her place'.

To the bratty submissive, any man who puts in extra effort to keep her in line is then worth her attention. It's what you do as a child, act obnoxious to your parents so when they discipline you it seems like they're showing you love.
To me it seems like they're both dancing on strings like puppets but they get something out of it so who is to say it's less worthy than anything else. It's just not for me, to those who enjoy it I sincerely hope they find each other and push each other's buttons till the end of time.

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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 9:45:34 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

kind of like a lion tamer or something.

I just got a sudden flash of Michael Palin saying "A lion tamer!". Thank you for the completely unintentional chuckle.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 2/13/2011 9:46:38 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/13/2011 11:30:55 PM   
graceadieu


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From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: golemx
It's pretty early on in the relationship. The time in private hasn't had time to develop. I'm looking for tools to work in both.


No "tool" is going to work if she doesn't respect you.

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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/14/2011 6:10:39 AM   
lizi


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

kind of like a lion tamer or something.

I just got a sudden flash of Michael Palin saying "A lion tamer!". Thank you for the completely unintentional chuckle.


Hehehe...! "Yes, I've got a hat!" I'd forgotten all about that so thank you!
But you know what that made me think of...? Herding cats...best commercial EVER!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_MaJDK3VNE 

My favorite is the guy at the end with the sling using the lint roller.

Back on topic....sometimes humor makes a worthy point. OP, you're going to be a cat herder if she continues, a non-ending job if ever there was one. If her disobedience has been there from the start I don't think she intends on giving it up. Good luck with having her see the light, or maybe the two of you aren't on the same page. Some men like to be cat wranglers. Or lion tamers. Maybe your dilemma is deciding whether this is a job you enjoy or not. I agree with the other posters that have made the point that establishing your Dominance is in fact the base of having her obey you, but if she's the type that is looking to challenge her man because it floats her boat, it's still going to pop up from time to time that she acts out. I could be wrong, but you may want to look internally and see if drama is exciting to you or a pain in the butt.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/14/2011 7:08:05 AM   
lally2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

You need to work on 'The Look'.


lol - by the sounds of it though, its 'The Look' and the consequences when they get home that this bird is partial to.

id just tell her 'no play' which also means no punishment too, since thats what she's playing up for.

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RE: Public and immediate punishment. - 2/14/2011 8:25:00 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I like "cut that sh*t out" ... it works for me.

and if it doesn't... then any number of things might be try -- I'm doing something wrong, they're doing something wrong, and/or a real lack of respect or interest is there.. and frankly, I'd move on if it didn't work.

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 2/14/2011 8:31:30 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 40
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