I demand your undivided attention. (Full Version)

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ImaginativeWhims -> I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 6:38:05 AM)

... and now that I have it, I'd like to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for complying as requested.

Now, that wasn't too bad was it?

The meat and potatoes:

Looking down at her there on her knees in front of me, eyes on the floor, it's so quiet that all I can hear are the birds chirping outside the window and her soft sobbing. I haven't raised a hand to her, nor have I taken off my belt, but she kneels there crying nonetheless because she knows she's broken my Cardinal Rule: Don't make me repeat myself more than once.

I like to think myself a fair man, I tend to reward good behavior and a job well done lavishly. If I asked that something be done a specific way or within a specific time frame, and my expectations are exceeded dramatically, I've even been known to ask my pet what fantasy I can fulfill for such wonderful work.

On the other hand my punishments are equally dramatic... small infractions leading to regular activities being done while blindfolded or having a single limb tied... larger infractions leading to the exclusion of favored items and activities.

Break my Cardinal Rule, and the most painful, destructive, soul-wrenching punishment will fall on you: My Disappointment.

To Disappoint your Master is to lose a small portion of that connection with Him, to distance yourself from His attentions.

The query:

Fellow members/friends/family of CM I pose to you two scenarios -

For those Standing: How severe was it for them when they knowingly broke your Cardinal Rule? (I won't ask what it may be for some will not wish to share.)

For those kneeling: How severe was the punishment when you knowingly broke Their Cardinal Rule? (You just had to test the waters, didn't you? You just had to know how far you could push...)



Aileen1968 -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 7:28:39 AM)

Uh oh....He repeats himself all of the time because I'm half deaf. [:)]

As for punishment, we don't do that because I don't ever purposefully break rules. If I fuck up, it's because I fucked up not because I was trying to fuck up.
He knows I'm not perfect. Why would he punish me for being human?



came4U -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 7:32:58 AM)

I can't say I've ever been in a situation that called for 'punishment' because I had intentionally or unintentionally not done something on the first order.  Perhaps some just don't do this 'testing the waters' crap naturally.

Sometimes it just comes natural and necessary to obey and be out of harms way--that is learned with maturity. Sans games.

Frankly, I find blindfolding or the one-legged housechores race a lil too risky and ridiculous for punishment.  Anyone who isn't an acrobat could likely fall in either circumstance and bash their head or fall / trip on stairs etc. 

Some just listen the first time when it ain't any 'game'.  There are times when 'can you repeat the order/question' is used for unnecessary ruse by some.  When and if that is the case, both persons involved are obviously looking forward to the consequence.

Sounds so, obvious, pretentious and a waste of valuable time and energy for something so meek that could be chalked up as a mere misunderstanding.

quote:

He repeats himself all of the time because I'm half deaf.
  see?  a perfect example of misunderstanding and using such ridiculous excuses to cause unnecessary trauma and drama.  I say, save punishment for something really important.



kalikshama -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 7:45:43 AM)

His disapproval and/or silent treatment was always punishment enough for me.



NuevaVida -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 7:50:07 AM)

quote:

For those kneeling: How severe was the punishment when you knowingly broke Their Cardinal Rule? (You just had to test the waters, didn't you? You just had to know how far you could push...)


I don't "test waters" or "push."  Like Ailene, if I fuck up it's a sincere and accidental fuck up, or it's because something's going on in my head that we need to work out.

He has to repeat himself to me a lot.  I'm not half-deaf, but my life currently requires so much multitasking it's hard for me to keep things straight, plus I struggle with ADD.  He knew before taking me that I am totally forgetful, and that I used to be beaten up for that a lot....and all it did was make me forgetful and really skittish.

Your scenario wouldn't be realistic for us.  It makes a hot story, but wouldn't be our reality.  If he punished me for forgetting, he'd have a PTSD issue to contend with, and it wouldn't be pretty for either of us.

(I know, not very romantic or sexy, but sometimes reality isn't romantic and sexy)



LillyBoPeep -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 7:59:51 AM)

i'm another one that doesn't intentionally push.
sometimes punishments can reinforce something, but that "something" isn't being totally remedied by the punishment.
if someone is intentionally "forgetting," or intentionally breaking rules, there's something bigger at the core that's causing that, and punishment isn't likely to solve that problem.



LadyRian -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 8:21:17 AM)

In my case, the infraction was a devastating destruction of my trust which resulted in instantaneous dismissal.

I have since discovered that I was being manipulated into doing that very thing. Which in retrospect, I find even more odious.

I don't feel as if I wasted my time, because I learned quite a bit from the relationship.  Being able to clearly see his perfidious, manipulative cowardice has enabled me to move on very quickly, and I'm in a much better place now, with someone who's a much more appropriate fit.

As for him, I cannot say. I'll never grant him another word of mine.




ImaginativeWhims -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 8:31:07 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

.He repeats himself all of the time because I'm half deaf. [:)]

Why would he punish me for being human?


This would be an extenuating circumstance for my rule... as for the second part... you stated you don't intentionally make mistakes... but I've found that some like to push limits.



IrishMist -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 8:56:35 AM)

quote:

For those kneeling: How severe was the punishment when you knowingly broke Their Cardinal Rule? (You just had to test the waters, didn't you? You just had to know how far you could push...)

I am an adult, not a child. I have not been 'punished' since I was living in my parents house, a house that I left the day I turned 18.

As for cardinal rules, we only had one. You walk out the door, you don't come back. It was pretty simple.

edited because I can not spell today.



windchymes -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 9:05:44 AM)

I can't talk about the punishment, because it's just too horrific to relive, but by god, I replace the toilet paper now.



came4U -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 9:25:49 AM)

quote:

but I've found that some like to push limits.


If one 'likes to push limits, either they enjoy the punishment or they expect or don't expect a similar response in punishment.

Either/or, if one enjoys to push limits on a constant basis and you do not continue to up-the-bounty on a continual basis, you are at a loss and the puppet of that person for life.

Even the most disobedient learns eventually that pushing limits is not for 'fun'.  If so, they you will forever live on an equal or lesser playing field and may as well be vanilla with a twist of 'S & M' on the side. 

I don't see the point if a Dominant is always striving to become better by losing the game and the submissive is setting herhimself up knowing they they will always get what they want.

With someone that weak, I'd never get anything done or listen either.  They also would be so deaf and dumb they wouldn't hear the door slam behind me. 



DesFIP -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 9:31:58 AM)

I don't transition that well. If you talk to me while I'm concentrating on something else, I won't be able to focus fully on you and I'll mess up whatever else I was doing. If your dinner comes out inedible, I won't accept the blame for what you've caused.

Beyond that, I'm human. I'm going to think about other things, talk to other people, be involved in a book, a tv show, and sometimes I'm even sick and unable to think about anything other than how bad I feel.

I wouldn't get involved with anyone who expected total perfection from me. More than that, I refuse to walk on eggshells all the time afraid of being human and making a mistake. Been there, bought the tee shirt, not going back.

I'm with a man who accepts my humanity and forgives my flaws as I forgive his. Because if you expect perfection from someone, then you damn well better not have any clay feet of your own.

Beyond that, punishment only causes fear. It doesn't solve the problem for next time. I have someone I can trust who will help me find a solution. Fear doesn't engender trust.



came4U -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 10:07:35 AM)

DesFIP,

there lies the difference between a 'mature' man who realizes HIS consequences from his priority-based behavior and attitude vs her needs/wants of intentional punishment on demand.

We have real life duties, real life chores that effect day to day life to make life run smoothly just as Dominants do. 

Look for trouble (and burnt/bad cooking) you you shall receive.

I guess I have been used to living a real life of slavery that it has just jaded me hearing about the immaturity of 'playing' to get or give attention. In that case OP, I believe your case deals with kink and equal mind games and would not only bore me but irritate me into a huff.





darkenchantment -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 10:48:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I don't transition that well. If you talk to me while I'm concentrating on something else, I won't be able to focus fully on you and I'll mess up whatever else I was doing. If your dinner comes out inedible, I won't accept the blame for what you've caused.

Beyond that, I'm human. I'm going to think about other things, talk to other people, be involved in a book, a tv show, and sometimes I'm even sick and unable to think about anything other than how bad I feel.

I wouldn't get involved with anyone who expected total perfection from me. More than that, I refuse to walk on eggshells all the time afraid of being human and making a mistake. Been there, bought the tee shirt, not going back.

I'm with a man who accepts my humanity and forgives my flaws as I forgive his. Because if you expect perfection from someone, then you damn well better not have any clay feet of your own.

Beyond that, punishment only causes fear. It doesn't solve the problem for next time. I have someone I can trust who will help me find a solution. Fear doesn't engender trust.



Like Aileen 1968, this is what I'd regard as the near perfect answer. Love that bit 'damn well better not have any clay feet of your own'! (Exits, stage left, pausing to wipe feet carefully on door mat.......)



phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 11:06:18 AM)

i dont push limits and dont deliberately brake rules but i do make mistakes and sometimes forget to do things. if i haven't done something asked or i have acted in a way i maybe shouldnt have he wll talk about it and give me the correction however, i feel so bad and the fact i feel i have disappointed i will ask for a punishment as its a closer for me and he says once its discussed it can be forgotten he knows i need a conclusion which is where the punsihment comes in.



ImaginativeWhims -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 11:28:08 AM)

Well, did I smack the beehive or what?

I was mostly shooting for...
quote:

I can't talk about the punishment, because it's just too horrific to relive, but by god, I replace the toilet paper now.
... type scenarios, as I know they're out there. Was more looking for sticky situations that both sides of the Kneel found themselves in...

I didn't mean to imply that I walk on water or expect it of those I hold dear to me. It's not a matter of perfection or lack thereof for me, my flavor of play leans toward a reward/punishment system. It's not like I walk around beating people for leaving their shoes at the door, but if I've asked more than twice for those shoes to be moved and they're still sitting there... well, my mind starts to find places on a naked body that will make beautiful music once leather or latex is applied.

To address...
quote:

Beyond that, punishment only causes fear. It doesn't solve the problem for next time. I have someone I can trust who will help me find a solution. Fear doesn't engender trust.
... Punishment is all part of the play here, again I find myself standing in error for not clarifying that and for this I do apologize.

I don't want to hurt any feelings by my next statement, and I'm sure some will set me on fire for it but here goes:

Every person here has their own little world of happy. For some of us it's a bloody violent storm of Sadism, for others it's simply a power trade. By asking the question the way I did here I was looking to identify with others that share a similar version of what I enjoy,  I did not in any way shape or form intend to offend those that don't.




leadership527 -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 11:34:59 AM)

Ah yes, the ever-popular master vs. slave grudge match. So the theory here is that the "master" has tried to "force" the slave to do something and the slave successfully resisted so now she must be punished?

That scenario isn't possible in my marriage because Carol and I are on the same team.

As I have written many times, my marriage is not a zero sum game and my happiness doesn't come at Carol's expense. I refuse to think in any terms which pit me against her. It's hard to imagine why I'd deliberately put myself into a no-win situation... not just no-win, but guaranteed HUGE loss.



ImaginativeWhims -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 11:44:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Ah yes, the ever-popular master vs. slave grudge match. So the theory here is that the "master" has tried to "force" the slave to do something and the slave successfully resisted so now she must be punished?

That scenario isn't possible in my marriage because Carol and I are on the same team.

As I have written many times, my marriage is not a zero sum game and my happiness doesn't come at Carol's expense. I refuse to think in any terms which pit me against her. It's hard to imagine why I'd deliberately put myself into a no-win situation... not just no-win, but guaranteed HUGE loss.


Not exactly what I had in mind Jeff, more along the lines of... You have that one little thing that just irks the shit out of you... and she just did it. Maybe she forgot for a moment that it's the one thing that you absolutely cannot stand, maybe she's in a foul mood for whatever reason... I could list the scenarios endlessly, but the goal of my exercise was to find out how you handle it when that one single solitary line that you've drawn to not be crossed, is crossed.

- Do you sit down next to her and tell her that it's been crossed, confirm that she understands it, and go on about your day?
- Do you shake your head at her and tell her you're disappointed in her for having done it?
- Do you beat her with a live chicken until she's coughing feathers?

Things of this nature is what I was shooting for, not necessarily something forced, but something perhaps enforced?



happylittlepet -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 12:25:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImaginativeWhims


Not exactly what I had in mind Jeff, more along the lines of... You have that one little thing that just irks the shit out of you... and she just did it. Maybe she forgot for a moment that it's the one thing that you absolutely cannot stand, maybe she's in a foul mood for whatever reason... I could list the scenarios endlessly, but the goal of my exercise was to find out how you handle it when that one single solitary line that you've drawn to not be crossed, is crossed.



To me, this reads like : You, the Master, have that one little thing that controls you.



Focus50 -> RE: I demand your undivided attention. (2/15/2011 12:55:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ImaginativeWhims

... and now that I have it, I'd like to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for complying as requested.

Now, that wasn't too bad was it?

The meat and potatoes:

Looking down at her there on her knees in front of me, eyes on the floor, it's so quiet that all I can hear are the birds chirping outside the window and her soft sobbing. I haven't raised a hand to her, nor have I taken off my belt, but she kneels there crying nonetheless because she knows she's broken my Cardinal Rule: Don't make me repeat myself more than once.

I like to think myself a fair man, I tend to reward good behavior and a job well done lavishly. If I asked that something be done a specific way or within a specific time frame, and my expectations are exceeded dramatically, I've even been known to ask my pet what fantasy I can fulfill for such wonderful work.

On the other hand my punishments are equally dramatic... small infractions leading to regular activities being done while blindfolded or having a single limb tied... larger infractions leading to the exclusion of favored items and activities.

Break my Cardinal Rule, and the most painful, destructive, soul-wrenching punishment will fall on you: My Disappointment.

To Disappoint your Master is to lose a small portion of that connection with Him, to distance yourself from His attentions.

The query:

Fellow members/friends/family of CM I pose to you two scenarios -

For those Standing: How severe was it for them when they knowingly broke your Cardinal Rule? (I won't ask what it may be for some will not wish to share.)

For those kneeling: How severe was the punishment when you knowingly broke Their Cardinal Rule? (You just had to test the waters, didn't you? You just had to know how far you could push...)


I get your theme and that I don't much care for hearing my own voice repeating itself.

But underneath the fancy wrapping, your version seems to habitate the passive/aggressive extremities for my liking. And I prefer to keep anger out of it....

Focus.



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