THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (Full Version)

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CreepyStalker -> THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/17/2011 6:12:20 PM)

So it seems she's got you all fooled into thinking she's the beautiful sexy and generally awesome woman she appears to be. LIES! Lies I tell you. VC is actually a man named Boris.

He's a cunning bastard is Boris, he fooled me completely. I was a young innocent stalker just going about my business becoming madly infatuated with the wondrous goddess-like VC persona. Like any good stalker I eventually found her address and turned up at her house, keen to show her how I'd tattooed 'I <3 Mistress VC 4 eva' across my own forehead with a biro and a compass. To my horror, the gorgeous young woman I was expecting turned out to be a sinister octogenarian with very limited understanding of personal hygiene. I was shocked and dismayed, a feeling which doubled when I discovered that on top of all this, he wasn't even remotely Vague or Curious. He was actually quite Lucid and Disinterested.

He kidnapped me and has kept me locked up in his basement ever since. He insists he is my Gorean Master and I have tried to play along and be a good slave girl, but frankly I got bored of it after about half an hour.  The constant merciless  beatings (every third advert break on channel 4, in the other two he either masturbates or makes tea) are rather fun if I'm honest, but some of his more extreme fetishes don't even bare thinking about.

This sick pervert has done things to me which should never be done to anyone, vile things pertaining to music theatre. I don't want to go into details but now every time I hear Joseph And The Technicolour Dreamcoat I have to curl up in the foetal position and rock gently for several hours. Being subjected to his show-tune fantasies is neither safe sane nor consensual. I tried every safe word I could think of, including CaSeSeNsItIvE variations and the universal safeword PIN reset code. He callously ignored them all.

I'm aware this post will be met with disbelief and ridicule. He's got so many sock puppet accounts set up, all claiming to have met his female alter-ego, some he even set up before he'd created the VC forgery (told you he was a cunning bastard). It's a very clever and well organised ruse, but please real people of CollarMe, I urge you to look beyond the bullshit and see the true tragedy of the situation. This man needs help. He needs therapy and a social services case-worker. If you could find it in your heart to get him the support he requires to work through his issues I'm sure one day he could become a stable and productive member of society/the internet. Also if you could find it in your heart to bring me an axe and a crow-bar so I could get out of this goddamn basement that would also be lovely.




Lockit -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/17/2011 6:24:39 PM)

ROFLMAO!!!!!! This should be in humor! OMG That's funny!




Twoshoes -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/17/2011 6:29:10 PM)

I knew it!

Thus endeth the lies!

Enlightment at last!

Wait, what music theatre? Surely, not... oh, the inhumanity!

Must expungevision.
Must expungevision.
Must expungevision.




NocturnalStalker -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/17/2011 6:36:43 PM)

Cool story bro.




Termyn8or -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/17/2011 7:21:05 PM)

Actually, what's the problem ?

T^T




LadyHibiscus -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/17/2011 7:24:22 PM)

WIN!





WinsomeDefiance -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/17/2011 7:32:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

WIN!




You called? [:)]




VaguelyCurious -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 3:29:38 AM)

FR

You know what's funny?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreepyStalker

I don't want to go into details but now every time I hear Joseph And The Technicolour Dreamcoat I have to curl up in the foetal position and rock gently for several hours. Being subjected to his show-tune fantasies is neither safe sane nor consensual. I tried every safe word I could think of, including CaSeSeNsItIvE variations and the universal safeword PIN reset code. He callously ignored them all.


This bit's actually true. [:D][:D][:D][:D]

(You crack me up sometimes CS, you really do...)

ETA: although I'm offended that you're calling me a Channel 4 person rather than a BBC person. This is inaccurate :p




Sundowner -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 4:29:17 AM)

FR

Creepy - I am so sorry this had to happen to you. If only I (and one or two other CM ppl) had followed our instincts perhaps you would have been spared this suffering.

Like you I had been taken in by the facade of apparent intelligence (although unlike you I've been spared the disappointment of unrequited lust) and I had felt "she" was a welcome addition to CM's rainbow of regulars. But over time the suspicions began to grow; little hints that all was not as it appeared.

I myself am pure of spirit and so was motivated purely by intellectual interest, not carnal desire. So whereas you tracked down her address, I engaged the services of FindaTel and acquired her phone number. I was somewhat surprised when I called to hear a gruff ill-bred voice and appalled by the vile coarse abuse which met my simple enquiry. But I accepted the explanation that she was out and I was talking to her "uncle". I suppose my suspicions began to harden after subsequent calls. "She" explained her strange voice by explaining she had an unfortunate throat infection which, "she" explained, had appeared after a rather intimate meeting with our own dear RF. (His recent posts bemoaning his illness lent credence to "her" story and of course gives us a salutory warning of the disadvantages of giving blowjobs). It seems she (may we take "she" as given?) had been struggling to find her true identity and had been trying to get in touch with her hetero side; alas the experiment didn't apparently work and the only result was a throat infection and the enduring certainty that she was indeed gay.

I still felt, however, that all was not quite right. She explained her constant vile telephonic abuse whenever we briefly chatted as being a result of her unfortunate affliction with Tourette's Syndrome. Being perhaps naive, certainly rather virtuous and kindly (almost saintly) myself, I readily accepted this explanation and was filled with natural sympathy. I even accepted her story that she was a penniless orphan who had been abused throughout her time at the State Orphanage and was, temporarily, jobless; my sympathy extended to agreeing to her suggestion that I should forward a small sum which she could use as a down-payment for specialist medical treatment.

Perhaps this was my first serious mistake. With hindsight it is easy to see how her tales of unfortunate medical complications requiring additional, more expensive, treatment were false and I should not have sent the money. I feel particularly stupid to have been taken in by her request for money to buy a dress. She explained that the new specialist (the previous one having been sent to cure an urgent case in Nigeria) was female and gay. It appeared that she was confident that if she could seduce this specialist she would be treated free but she needed to look her best for the seduction and a dress (a rather expensive dress I might say) was essential.

You will appreciate creepy, having been deceived yourself by this wicked man, how I fell so easily for the deception. My offer to buy the dress and send it to her was rejected on the grounds of it being necessary to get the right size so that her seductive bits would be displayed in their most appealing form. Her comment "I wanna show the fucking bitch my tits and legs and give the bitch a smell of my fucking cunt so she's gagging for it" was typical of the gross language she commonly employed and, distasteful as it was, I could understand her motives and acquiesed to her request (only by arranging a personal loan I might add).

Again with hindsight it is so very easy to see that her tale of opportunity with her previous specialist was actually false. It appeared that the patient he had treated was none other than the Nigerian Finance Minister who, being enormously grateful, had offered to send some £2.5 million of secret funds, to which he alone had access, to the specialist's UK bank; regrettably the specialist had for some reason closed his own account and, since VC had no money of her own, they wished to use my account to enable the transaction (together with payment of a not inconsiderable arrangement fee to set up the transfer). I see now of course why no money has yet appeared in my account.

In view of this I am beginning to have my doubts about the imminent arrival of the Nigerian slavegirl, whose airfare, visa application costs, passport renewal costs and travelling comforts I have paid for. She had previously belonged to the Finance Minister and had apparently been extensively trained and I was able to buy her from him for a (quite significant) fee.

I suppose I should have been more suspicious by this stage but - as you will know only so well creepy - this despicable man is so cleverly believable.

Your plea in your post "This man needs help. He needs therapy and a social services case-worker." shows you to be a truly good person and so (as I confirmed in my CMail to you) I will of course send the monies you need to arrange the treatment and I do so hope you will succeed.








GreedyTop -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 6:13:40 AM)

*snort*




LillyBoPeep -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 7:02:45 AM)

this is hilarious ^_^ hahahahahaa
points to CreepyStalker and Sundowner ^_^




Sundowner -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 10:40:09 AM)

FR

Oh heartless people - simply laughing at this pitiful situation (or in Greedy's case taking a line of cocaine apparently).

I'm deeply troubled now - creepy has not responded to my caring CMail and I fear the worst.  [sm=nervous.gif]

She asks, you recall, for an axe and a crowbar and I'm sure none of us will begrudge her those. But I don't know the address where she's being held - only the phone number which currently gets no reply. I can't stop thinking of the poor helpless creepy who, though tall, is very old and might be able to handle the show-tunes torture for a while but surely cannot suffer Gor for much longer; the horror doesn't bear thinking about.

I'm all of a dither over what to do.      [sm=ugh.gif]















ResidentSadist -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 11:06:25 AM)

^ . . . at 7 feet tall and 1,100 lbs, I wouldn't worry about an axe and a crowbar. Ol’ Creepy probably just bashed through the door and is too busy enjoying her newfound freedom to logon and check her Cmail. As for the telephone of her captors, I am sure they are also busy repairing the damage left by the ½ ton behemoth.




Sundowner -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 11:08:30 AM)



You think so RS? That's a comfort (I hadn't thought of that) but I'm still worried. (Good to see you btw).









Wolf2Bear -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 1:52:39 PM)

WOW....I just don't know what to think anymore. And here all this time I thought we were safe but apparently not. Guess it's time to go back into hiding.I may have to petition Sorceress J's protection.




Phoenixpower -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 5:03:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear
Guess it's time to go back into hiding.


yep. time to close that den, until summer is back and life feels warmer again [&o]




dcnovice -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 6:42:44 PM)

FR

I loved Joseph, but then I saw it as a kid.




CreepyStalker -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 7:21:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
ETA: although I'm offended that you're calling me a Channel 4 person rather than a BBC person. This is inaccurate :p


More lies! Where will the lying end Boris? I know you want to project this idea that you're a sophisticated lady who watches deep and thought-provoking BBC documentaries such as 'Snog Marry or Avoid' and 'Hotter Than My Daughter', but everyone can see straight through you. The BBC doesn't even have advert breaks; you could have at least tried to make your lie plausible. Clearly you're losing your touch.




CreepyStalker -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 7:32:02 PM)

Thank you to those who are taking this situation seriously. Shame on you to all those who LOLed. This is not a LOLing matter. It's SRS!

I have been absent as Boris removed my internet connection in an attempt to silence the truth. I am currently stealing wifi from the McDonalds opposite his house instead. I can get a signal if I balance a certain way on a stack of Boris' old scat-fisting porno mags in one corner of the basement.

Unfortunately the basement is constructed of heavily reinforced materials, even with my hulk like physique I haven't succeeded in smashing my way out. That crow bar and axe would still be very much appreciated, please, anyone?




Phoenixpower -> RE: THE TRUTH ABOUT VAGUELYCURIOUS!!!!! Revealed at last... (2/18/2011 9:16:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CreepyStalker
Shame on you to all those who LOLed. This is not a LOLing matter. It's SRS!


I am so sorry that I cant take stalker srsly [:o]




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