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"Serving" online - 10/6/2004 11:06:47 AM

MistressAngelBBW

Posts: 19
Joined: 6/30/2004
Status: offline

I am a relatively new to the online portion of the scene, and I have people all the time sending IM's with "on my knees to serve you" or something to that effect. I always ask them how they can serve me online, and get a response of "to do your bidding" or "to please you in every way" etc.

Am I a total blonde or what? I just don't get how someone can "serve" online. I don't do cyber, so is that just the PC way of asking to cyber? I don't mind using the online medium as a way of getting to know someone (Collarme, alt.com, etc...) but I gather that is not what they want to do. I guess my question is....does anyone know what they mean? Is there something I am missing? How do you "serve" online?

Thanks!

RE: "Serving" online - 10/6/2004 1:25:54 PM

Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

I am also not into the "cyber" but in a way i do like to "serve" online. i guess Y/you would call it serving. I have never thought about it actually serving online but guess it is in a way. The Dom I am seeing is 4 hours away so there are a lot of times W/we can not be together in real life.

Lemme explain--

Being submissive i like to please and feel needed, do for the Dom. i don't do sexual things online, just does nothing for me. i do like completing assignments however - like research, maybe writing a special story for Him (i like writing stories), doing sexual things offline to myself (once i did a assignment for a Dom in which i undressed, felt my body in front of a mirror then had to write to Him what things i liked and didn't like about my body) or my kneeling exercise i do (10 minutes a day i kneel and think about ME, no kids or chores that need to be done but it is ME time to think about the future at the request of my Dom - like some sort of meditation)

These are things i enjoy doing while He is not able to be with me in real life but i still get the feeling of pleasing and being needed and they are things I am asked to do by my Dom so they are serving Him.

I have had Doms except me to serve them online (trolls *rolls eyes*) but from the first conversation want me to kneel beside the computer or something. These requests I do not find fulfilling at all as a submissive. I need to have a relationship with the Dom and the serving I do have meaning behind it. I need to learn and grow from my assignments either in the Dom or just in the lifestyle.

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to MistressAngelBBW)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/6/2004 1:29:33 PM

MistressAngelBBW

Posts: 19
Joined: 6/30/2004
Status: offline

Thanks for the reply jenn... seems like you and I are on the same wavelength. I like to be connected, while chatting. I just couldn't understand how/what they thought "serving" online was.

(in reply to subbiejenn)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/6/2004 1:47:42 PM

Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAngelBBW

Thanks for the reply jenn... seems like you and I are on the same wavelength. I like to be connected, while chatting. I just couldn't understand how/what they thought "serving" online was.

i would think if this was 1st conversation they are some sort of trolls looking for a kinky time. To me the lifestyle is kinky *smiles* but it is so much MORE then that at the same time. i need the emotional side, i need to feed my submissive desires of pleasing and serving. Anywhere online You will run into these people who only see inside the "sexual kink box" of the lifestyle and think it is a easy way to get kinky sex without truly understanding the lifestyle and what it means to the rest of U/us.

Good luck in Your search and Welcome to CM Boards!

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to MistressAngelBBW)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 1:05:49 AM

Posts: 28
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

Woot!

Ever had someone bring you a cup of coffee in chat, or a blanket, because you said you were cold? That was a "serve".

Obviously that doesn't do much in r/l, but this is a chat thing, and that's a world unto itself.

With wildly inappropriate credit due the Goreans in this instance (already said something nice about o/l, may as well alienate EVERYONE'S affections), this page should be of help: Overall Considerations in Food & Beverage Service.

Cybering with food? Pretty much. But what it really is is an opportunity to put your attentiveness and imagination on display, and, done with a little creativity, can be a lot of fun.

(in reply to subbiejenn)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 1:46:00 AM

Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Ever had someone bring you a cup of coffee in chat, or a blanket, because you said you were cold? That was a "serve".

AKA - Role play. There is IC (in character) and OOC (out of character) role play. One is when someone assumes the role of a fictional character and the next is when one is being him/her self.

quote:

But what it really is is an opportunity to put your attentiveness and imagination on display, and, done with a little creativity, can be a lot of fun.

Couldn't have said it better :)

Syn

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to asecreter)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 3:52:08 AM

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

Now you see - this is the sort of thing that reminds me of why I don't cyber. Folks just look at me funny when I ask them to "roll 1D20"...

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to Synocense)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 5:29:48 AM

Posts: 483
Status: offline

I know that you can Google, Ebay, and even Yahoo online, but to serve online has to have an emptiness to it.
This topic is being beaten to death, the same question is being asked again, and again.
I learned many years ago that that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over the same way and expecting a different result.
The people that tell you that they have many years experience with BDSM from online, may have become great typists, and good readers, but they have no idea what they are missing until they feel the sting, smell the sweat, and enjoy the sensual explosion in their bodies and mind.
Enjoy the fun with your whole body, not just your fingertips!

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to Suleiman)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 5:33:46 AM

MistressAngelBBW

Posts: 19
Joined: 6/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: INSIDEYOURMIND
This topic is being beaten to death, the same question is being asked again, and again.
I learned many years ago that that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over the same way and expecting a different result.

Sorry...new to the boards and didn't realize it had been asked over and over.

To the others, thank you for your replies. I'm still thinking it's not something I'll be requesting my subs to do, but it is nice to understand where they may be coming from when asking to do so. :)

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 6:40:26 AM

Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Now you see - this is the sort of thing that reminds me of why I don't cyber. Folks just look at me funny when I ask them to "roll 1D20"...

LMAO - "You want me to suck your what?!?!" Roll for it!

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to Suleiman)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 6:46:01 AM

Chaos

Posts: 30
Joined: 4/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Synocense

quote:

Now you see - this is the sort of thing that reminds me of why I don't cyber. Folks just look at me funny when I ask them to "roll 1D20"...

LMAO - "You want me to suck your what?!?!" Roll for it!

(in reply to Synocense)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 7:05:31 AM

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/9/2004
Status: offline

Subbiejen:

You have provided many "doms/dommes" with insight and jewels of wisdom. Because a person is a sub.. that does not mean that he/she cannot teach her.... Master.... after all, knowledge and the obtainment thereof... is.. or should be.. an ongoing and evolving process.

Jen.... whoever your Dom/Master is... they are, indeed fortunate!

Sir Tim

_____________________________

Sir TIM

(in reply to MistressAngelBBW)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 8:13:40 AM

Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirTIM

Subbiejen:

You have provided many "doms/dommes" with insight and jewels of wisdom. Because a person is a sub.. that does not mean that he/she cannot teach her.... Master.... after all, knowledge and the obtainment thereof... is.. or should be.. an ongoing and evolving process.

Jen.... whoever your Dom/Master is... they are, indeed fortunate!

Sir Tim

Thank You Sir...

i love learning and pleasing. The question of if or who is my Dom/Master is a bit of a problem as of late and even a bigger problem if He knows how fotunate He is... *sorry* bad subject...

but i love to boards and learning !

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to SirTIM)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 8:26:11 AM

Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: asecreter

Woot!

Ever had someone bring you a cup of coffee in chat, or a blanket, because you said you were cold? That was a "serve".

Obviously that doesn't do much in r/l, but this is a chat thing, and that's a world unto itself.

With wildly inappropriate credit due the Goreans in this instance (already said something nice about o/l, may as well alienate EVERYONE'S affections), this page should be of help: Overall Considerations in Food & Beverage Service.

Cybering with food? Pretty much. But what it really is is an opportunity to put your attentiveness and imagination on display, and, done with a little creativity, can be a lot of fun.

When i first became involved in the lifestyle i was in chat rooms a lot and did these things. The Guy who first told me of the lifestyle was into the formality and written expression of serving. However i don't do chat rooms anymore, i am happier in the message forum here. *smiles* It was fun, but for me more of pretend and as my knowledge and experience grew in the lifestyle my desires changed. Chat room serving just don’t give me what I need and desire anymore, doesn’t give me contentment in pleasing and severing.

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to asecreter)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 10:08:29 AM

BigBadVoodooDadd

Posts: 29
Joined: 6/23/2004
Status: offline

I always saw as the "on line" scene as really a playground for people that have no balls to actually do things in real life. I have been in the lifestyle for about 10 years and I have to tell you that the thought of on line Domination does not make sense to me. I mean what is it supposed to do? The crack of the whip can not reach you through your monitor, I can't tie you up when I want to, there is no way for me to pull your hair and I can't make you do anything you really are not willing to do. There is no fear, there is no sexual tension and there is no intensity that a scene requires in order for it to be a great scene.

I feel that people doing things on line are affraid of making things happen in real life. I might be wrong but that is just the way it makes me feel.

I hope this helps!

BBVD

(in reply to subbiejenn)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 11:51:18 AM

Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline

VoodooDadd -

Everything you described pertains to a physical version of D/s - which I personally call BDSM. You don't need BDSM for a D/s relationship, but it's rare you wouldn't have D/s in a BDSM relationship. Enywho - There are things one can learn and one can experience online concerning our chosen lifestyle...*if* that person is true to themself. I started out online. I learned the fundamentals. I learned about the huuuuge variety of wants/needs/fetishes/kinks. I learned the passion people possess and slowly but surely..and most importantly, I learned about myself and what all of these things mean to me in the grand scheme of things. Granted to you, there is So much that one misses, good and bad, in not reaching out to the hands on experiences, but I don't believe that in any way means all is lost if one doesn't or can't.

Respectfully,
Syn

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to BigBadVoodooDadd)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 12:22:54 PM

BigBadVoodooDadd

Posts: 29
Joined: 6/23/2004
Status: offline

There are things that one can learn on line. Reading forums or talking to people but I do not believe that there can be a D/s relationship on line.
It is like having an on line relationship of any kind. It just does not work and even though there are some people that have succeeded those are far in between and very rare.

Most Doms that actually do "on line" training lack real experience and what you learn from them is something that you can not use in real life. Also an on line training, if you can call it that way, takes much more effort and much more explaining than a real life relationship would. It is like trying to teach a blind person how to play basketball... it just does not work really well unless lots of effort and patience is put in and most people lack that. They lack the knowledge and the commitment to make it work and that goes for the subs as well as Dom's.

I think that there is a great way to learn on line. Sites like ALT, Bondage and Collarme offer lots of support and lots of information for people just getting into the lifestyle but I DO NOT believe that an on line D/s relationship is healthy or effective at all. I think that we should destinguish between learning on line from forums and support groups and actually having a D/s relationship on line.

I very much believe in the energy that is exchanged in a D/s relationship. A gentle touch on my slave's head while she is curled up at my feet to acknowledge my appreciation for her. A simple kiss on the forehead to show her that she is still my little girl. You can not do that on line, you can not have that kind of a dynamic over the internet. That is teh essential part of a D/s relationship, I think that everything else can be learned easily. Not just that but I think that a sub should educate herself about the lifestyle but leave the training to her Master once she gets in to a relationship. I do things differently than someone else might and in respect others like them done differently than I do. Having a slave trained one way and then me having to re-train her again later is just waist of her and my time. Bad habbits are much harder to get rid of than it takes to actually teach new habbits.

Anyways, I think that I have said enough.

I hope this helps!

BBVD

Oh... collarme ate my Y at the end of Daddy so... it should be BigBadVoodooDaddy

< Message edited by BigBadVoodooDadd -- 10/7/2004 1:49:36 PM >

(in reply to Synocense)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 1:19:53 PM

Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

A gentle touch in my slave's head while she is curled up at my feet to acknowledge my appreciation for her. A simple kiss on the forehead to show her that she is still my little girl.

*sighs* things some submissives still long for...

yes there is a lot missing with the online D/s and serving someone "just" online but online is a wonderful tool to grow, learn, to meet people with same likes and dislikes. The thing with online is Y/you have to make it real life and meet when a relationship starts to form. JMO

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to BigBadVoodooDadd)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/7/2004 1:47:10 PM

BigBadVoodooDadd

Posts: 29
Joined: 6/23/2004
Status: offline

I completely agree with this but I also know from experience that people most of the time do not make that step early enough and in the end the stress and growth without contact get to the people and the relationship fails.

That is why I believe that the internet is a great tool to learn from, to know what to actually expect. I think that forums such as this one, discussion groups, chatrooms and websites will help a person learn more aboutt he lifestyle but the only way to really actually experience true D/s and do it in a healthy way is to do it in real life and real life only.
On line can be done as a "test" but too many people take it seriously so it is not the best way to test things.

I hope this helps!

BBVD

Jenn, I really love your posts. You have lots and lots of great oppinions which is great to see!

(in reply to subbiejenn)

RE: "Serving" online - 10/8/2004 5:17:16 AM

MistressAngelBBW

Posts: 19
Joined: 6/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigBadVoodooDadd

I mean what is it supposed to do? The crack of the whip can not reach you through your monitor, I can't tie you up when I want to, there is no way for me to pull your hair and I can't make you do anything you really are not willing to do.

This is EXACTLY what I was *trying* to ask in the orginial post. As you can see, typing isn't my forte, so I'm probably not the best candidate for Online Serving even if I understood it!

(in reply to BigBadVoodooDadd)

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