RE: Lack of male slaves

RE: Lack of male slaves (Full Version)

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Ariane23 -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/16/2011 2:32:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves or they might be married and assume no Mistress will own him if he's married, or he might not know he has what it takes to be a good slave and he fears rejection. A Mistress cannot own a married slave, he is already owned.

Delilya -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/16/2011 7:48:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ariane23 quote: ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves or they might be married and assume no Mistress will own him if he's married, or he might not know he has what it takes to be a good slave and he fears rejection. A Mistress cannot own a married slave, he is already owned. Amen! I for one play second fiddle to no other woman.

LadyPact -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/16/2011 7:52:44 AM)
I'm not sure what either of you are trying to imply, but I can assure you that there are some of us who are poly who engage in dynamics with other people who happen to be married.

GreedyTop -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/16/2011 8:08:59 AM)
LadyP.. I think you are the exception, rather than the rule.. seriously..

Ariane23 -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/17/2011 7:00:21 AM)
LadyP, I have no judgements about Poly, to each their own. But if he has a wife, he isn't 100% owned by you, is he?

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/17/2011 7:26:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I'm not sure what either of you are trying to imply, but I can assure you that there are some of us who are poly who engage in dynamics with other people who happen to be married. I can't speak for anyone else, but I didn't mean any disrespect to you, Lady P - I know your relationship is both ethical and based on mutual trust. I just don't see how that can acheived behind someone's back on a website (or even online full stop, really - I'm not sure anyone could be positive they had the wife's consent without sitting down in a room with her).

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/17/2011 7:31:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ariane23 LadyP, I have no judgements about Poly, to each their own. But if he has a wife, he isn't 100% owned by you, is he? Same could be said for anyone with children, close siblings, parents, elderly neighbours, pets... If I had 100% of somebody they'd have no emotional ties to the outside world at all. That's not someone I'd ever want to be with, personally.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/17/2011 9:46:14 AM)
Men in that situation are much more vulnerable to impoverishment through financial domination, Ms. Vaguely. Haven't you seen the femdom profiles that insist on a stable of slaves, all of whom have emotional attachments only to her? It is like a man who focuses on women who feel unloved and lack support structure.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/17/2011 9:52:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ariane23 A Mistress cannot own a married slave, he is already owned. I disagree with this. I know several married men who are also in D/s relationships outside of the marriage. Their wife is completely aware of the outside arrangement, and it seems to work for them. I do agree with you when it comes to married subs who are being deceptive, and their wife doesn't know about the Domme. In that case, the wife is really the Domme since she is the one who dictates if or when he can come see the domme. She is the one who dictates if the domme can leave scars or other physical evidence on the sub. She is the one who dictates if/when/where the domme can call the sub. She dictates if the domme can make the sub shave his pubes. In basically every way, the wife is in charge, and the domme becomes nothing more than a chick on the side with a limited list of activities that she can participate in with her married sub. Personally, I have had a Domme while I was also in a serious vanilla LTR. My vanilla girlfriend knew about my kink, and she wasn't interested in it. So she was okay with me having a relationship with a Domme. Her only stipulation was that there be no intercourse involved with the D/s relationship. So it IS possible to have a D/s relationship with a married or meaningfully attached male sub. But you have to make sure that the wife or significant other is aware of the D/s relationship. Bottom line: If the wife or significant other knows about you, then it can work. But if the wife doesn't know about you, then you're just his "mistress". Literally.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/17/2011 10:00:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Men in that situation are much more vulnerable to impoverishment through financial domination, Ms. Vaguely. Haven't you seen the femdom profiles that insist on a stable of slaves, all of whom have emotional attachments only to her? It is like a man who focuses on women who feel unloved and lack support structure. Yeah, I've seen them. And I've thought 'anyone who is willing to go for that is not in a place I'd want from a partner'. I'd take someone with a loving, consenting partner over someone with no love in their life whatsoever any day.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/17/2011 10:02:13 AM)
1. Agree with RochSub. 2. About a year ago, I logged out and saw the profile of a gay male dominant. Two lines. Not an exact quote but it more or less read: "I am looking for a boy who has no career and no close friends. A boy who can disappear."

RedMagic1 -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/17/2011 10:03:21 AM)
Gr. Posting on phone is lame.

LadyPact -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/17/2011 11:30:51 AM)
Sorry for the delay in getting back. It has been one of those non stop weekends. quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious I can't speak for anyone else, but I didn't mean any disrespect to you, Lady P - I know your relationship is both ethical and based on mutual trust. I just don't see how that can acheived behind someone's back on a website (or even online full stop, really - I'm not sure anyone could be positive they had the wife's consent without sitting down in a room with her). VC, I know that you didn't mean it that way. I happen to be pretty cynical. Plus, I'm a straight from the horse's mouth kind of gal. I would have a tough time with hearing it's ok with the spouse from anyone besides the spouse. (I'm something of the same way even about casual play, so I'm trying to include both genders here.) quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 I disagree with this. I know several married men who are also in D/s relationships outside of the marriage. Their wife is completely aware of the outside arrangement, and it seems to work for them. I do agree with you when it comes to married subs who are being deceptive, and their wife doesn't know about the Domme. In that case, the wife is really the Domme since she is the one who dictates if or when he can come see the domme. She is the one who dictates if the domme can leave scars or other physical evidence on the sub. She is the one who dictates if/when/where the domme can call the sub. She dictates if the domme can make the sub shave his pubes. In basically every way, the wife is in charge, and the domme becomes nothing more than a chick on the side with a limited list of activities that she can participate in with her married sub. Personally, I have had a Domme while I was also in a serious vanilla LTR. My vanilla girlfriend knew about my kink, and she wasn't interested in it. So she was okay with me having a relationship with a Domme. Her only stipulation was that there be no intercourse involved with the D/s relationship. So it IS possible to have a D/s relationship with a married or meaningfully attached male sub. But you have to make sure that the wife or significant other is aware of the D/s relationship. Bottom line: If the wife or significant other knows about you, then it can work. But if the wife doesn't know about you, then you're just his "mistress". Literally. This was so good that I just had to say something about it. Roch, you totally nailed it! What you've got in the above is the very difference between the two. When I looked at the difference for us between D/s and M/s a while back, this was the very pivot point in it for Me. "What would be out of My range of power and/or situations where clip wouldn't obey Me?" Sex? No. Permanent marks? No. Contact limitations, interaction limitations, was there any kind of limit to what I could do with him? The military was a bigger problem with that than his marriage. LOL. The one and only thing that I could come up with was, "could I command him to leave his wife?" Probably not, but then again, who would? Literally, what kind of owner would want to take their slave away from a loving, positive, beneficial, secure relationship with another human being that's lasted over twenty years? Not My style as an owner. [;)]

Ariane23 -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/18/2011 3:01:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious Same could be said for anyone with children, close siblings, parents, elderly neighbours, pets... That's hardly the same thing as marriage.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/18/2011 4:31:53 AM)
Isn't it? Someone who has a claim on their love and their time, and depends on their health and wellbeing. In functional terms it's exactly the same. What do you see as the difference?

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/18/2011 5:42:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious Isn't it? Someone who has a claim on their love and their time, and depends on their health and wellbeing. In functional terms it's exactly the same. I probably wouldn't have put pets or neighbors in the same category as marriage, but I definitely agree that children or aging parents can present many of the same challenges that being married does. In fact, in some ways, children create an even more difficult situation in terms of allocating time. Particularly if you're a single parent who is the primary caretaker.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/18/2011 5:48:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 I probably wouldn't have put pets or neighbors in the same category as marriage, but I definitely agree that children or aging parents can present many of the same challenges that being married does. In fact, in some ways, children create an even more difficult situation in terms of allocating time. Particularly if you're a single parent who is the primary caretaker. Depends on the neighbours, and your level of involvement with them. And although I've never had pets, if you have to be at home at 5 every day to feed/walk the dog, that's a pretty big time commitment, no?

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/18/2011 5:53:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious Depends on the neighbours, and your level of involvement with them. And although I've never had pets, if you have to be at home at 5 every day to feed/walk the dog, that's a pretty big time commitment, no? I've never taken responsibility for my neighbors. I guess I'm not as good a neighbor as you are. As far as pets go, that's exactly why I have goldfish. I don't want an animal dictating my schedule. [;)]

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/18/2011 6:49:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 I've never taken responsibility for my neighbors. I guess I'm not as good a neighbor as you are. I'm not exactly saintly [8D] I'm thinking of the lady who has lived two doors down from my parents for the last thirty-odd years. They've supported each other through all sorts. There's as much commitment there as with actual blood family members.

OralAshley -> RE: Lack of male slaves (4/19/2011 11:02:54 PM)
I am still very new to this whole side of the tracks. I have never done the BDSM lifestyle, never been in bondage, never had a Mistress. These things have always been a curiosity for me and I have always been submisive. I can't speak for others, but I know I would love living as a feminized sub. I know from reading things on the web that you can't really 'sorce' someone who is willing, but the act of being overpowered into doing different things that I would be too scared to do on my own is, at least to me, as good as forced. I say I enjoy froced feminization because I think all I need to find the other side of myself, is a forcefull person to make me face myself and my true feelings by aggresively pushing me into the right direction. This, to me, is almost the same as being forced, but there is no other real way to explain it. As for are we real or just out for our needs, I think I a real. I know I would love to meet a domme woman and be her live in sub. To have her make me wear girly things and act a certain way is my thing. I love the look on a womans face when they are humiliating me. So mischevious and hot. Lastly, there are no women in my area who are into this lifestyle, at least that I have met. But yes, I know I am real and would love to play games, learn from and serve the right mistress. It seems more that there is a lack of Dommes looking for sub guys who like the same things I like. Someone here told me it's not just about my wants and needs. That is good by me, I am looking to find someone I can share with, care for and make happy. I just want a little humiliation and degradation on the side, hee hee.

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