surethinginwi
Posts: 7
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline
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I met my Dom here on CM. He had looked at my profile and never messaged me. I saw that he had checked me out so naturally, I clicked on his profile. I immediately loved the wording in his profile but because he was so much younger than me and seemingly "out of my league" I was sure we wouldn't ever be a match. I did send him a quick message though just to let him know that his profile made me smile.
He responded right away and we started emailing back and forth. He topped me from the beginning but in a very no-pressure sort of way. In the meantime I was still talking to MANY other Doms. One of the Doms I was talking to was quickly making me think he was THE ONE. He said all the right things and seemed to know exactly which buttons to push. My Dom, let's call him Don was still not going to be a real match for me, I thought. I mean, I was an overweight mother of three and he was eight years younger. So, I told Don that I picked this other Dom and that I hoped he wasn't mad. Mind you, most other Doms that I told were very upset I hadn't picked them. Don said he was a little disappointed but that he would always be there if I needed someone to talk to. At that point, we hadn't even exchanged pics.
I started this thing with the other Dom. He sent me pages and pages of emails. Daily tasks, We were starting to plan to meet. He was married so discretion was huge for him. He knew lots about me but I never knew anything about him. We chatted online once or twice but everything else was email only. I took tons of pics of myself, did video and sent him emails. I never got a picture of him. Then one day he gives me this task that sort of creeps me out. I should add, I was up and down the entire time (huge highs and very low drops)...I make it sound like months....it was days:):):) I did the creepy task and in the next email I asked him about seeing his picture. He said that I was to meet him, sight unseen. He told me he would meet me in a mall and if he walked by me and decided he liked me he would come over to me and take me to the place we were going (it had not been decided yet). I wouldn't know what he looked like until that point. He was pretty clear that he wouldn't say no to me because he had seen the pics of me, etc. But it still creeped me out that he refused to let me see him.
So, I went to Collarme and sent a message to Don. I simply asked him if he would send me a pic if I asked for it. He did..immediately..and asked me to do the same in return. He asked how things were going and I told him what was happening with that Dom. He suggested I post in the forums here and ask for advice. I did and got blasted by some. They told me I was being crazy and that I was in sub frenzy and I needed to slow it down, etc. My mentor was one of the nice ones that emailed me privately and offered her advice, warned me against predators, etc.
I ended up sending the other Dom a message explaining how I felt. He didn't respond. Don kept talking to me through it all. The other Dom still hadn't responded and I sent another email telling him it was over. Don told me to give it a few days and if I didn't hear from the other guy he might step into that role for me. It was also Don that suggested I ask my mentor to be my mentor. He thought it would be good for me to have someone else to talk to and get advice from. Let me say right now that my mentor was a HUGE help to me. She gave me so much advice and support I don't know what I would have done without her.
Don and I ended up falling into the D/s role easily and he set me up with daily tasks. We made plans to meet. The first task he sent me was to take pictures of all of me, even the parts I didn't like, and send them to him. Each was to have a paragraph explaining why I did or didn't like it. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But he didn't run away...or stop responding. He told me he liked my body. We had lots of naughty chat sessions and dirty emails. We talked a lot about what each of us expected and didn't want. At that time I couldn't imagine ever being married again. He told me he was looking for a sub long term but not a girlfriend. We were on the same page.
When it came time to meet he required me to set up three safe calls. We met in a public place. My safe call actually forgot to call me but luckily Don wasn't a serial killer:) That first night was amazing. We just clicked. I submitted, I cried, I laughed, I came and came and came:) The next morning he told me he was joining the Peace Corps and that he would be leaving in the summer. I was crushed. Though we never defined our "long term" expectations, I planned on it being way more than 9 months. I cried with him for three hours that morning. When I left his place I thought I might never come back. I guess my thinking was that if I was already this wrapped up in it, it was going to be hell in 9 months when he got on an airplane and left for two and half years. It was my mentor that encouraged me to stick it out. To tell you the truth, deciding to stay with him was also one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It was like giving yourself to this wonderful person, letting them control you and own you, only to know that in a few months they would leave you and you would have to start over. My mentor said I needed to look at it like I was in it for the journey. Though I tried to keep a positive attitude about it, it was really hard for me.
We were only supposed to get together a few weekends a month. That was true for the first month:) It slowly increased to every weekend and then every weekend AND one night a week. The more we were together, the more we learned about each other. We spent lots of vanilla time and lots of play time when I was with him. There were many talks on many nights about how feelings were changing. I realized I was in love with him long before he realized it with me.
Things went from him saying he wanted to "just be friends" when he joined the PC to him saying he doesn't want to be unfair to me by asking me to wait for him while he is away but that he wanted to try to make it work. Then that progressed to him saying he was okay asking me to wait because what we have is too good to not try to make work. Eventually it was him telling me he decided to hold off on the Peace Corps for now. I make it sound like it was all him but I had changes too. I sent from never wanting to get married again and never wanting more kids to realizing that if I was married to the right person I could be happy and if I was married to the right person, I would love to have more kids. I also found that with Don I was truly happy. Never in my life had I been able to be myself around another person. Don saw the real me, all the time. He loved me for who I was and helped me grow into my new, happier, healthier self.
We just worked. Now, we are moving in together. It is a good story and the happy ending is surely in the making:)
I just wanted to share my story with everyone out there. As a submissive, I know it can be hard to put yourself out there, sometimes feeling like all the decisions are in the hands of your Dom (and, most are...lol). But it's good to know that both partners can change life plans and that the happily ever after DOES happen:)
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Amazing relationship-my Dom loved me enough to wait. - 
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