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Most Functional English Word - 5/6/2006 5:52:56 PM

LadyElaine

Posts: 36
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

HOPE THIS MAKES YOU SMILE

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD

Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

Consider:

You can get shit-faced, Be shit-out-of-luck, Or have shit for brains.

With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit,and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........

Well, Shit Happens!!!

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RE: Most Functional English Word - 5/6/2006 6:00:10 PM

MasterG2kTR

Posts: 6677
Joined: 8/7/2004
From: Wisconsin
Status: offline

LOL.....good one

I know this is a little off the topic and I know this has been around a while too....but it seems to fit in some how

*The Shit List*

GHOST SHIT: The kind where you feel the Shit come out, but there is no Shit in the toilet.
CLEAN SHIT: The kind where you Shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET SHIT: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.
SECOND WAVE SHIT: This happens when you're done Shit-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to Shit some more.
POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD SHIT: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG SHIT: The kind of Shit that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSY SHIT: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.
DRINKER'S SHIT: The kind of Shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN SHIT: Self explanatory.
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-SHIT SHIT: The kind where you want to Shit but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP SHIT: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS SHIT (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.
THE DANGLING SHIT: This Shit refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done Shit-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.
THE SURPRISE SHIT: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a Shit!

(in reply to LadyElaine)

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RE: Most Functional English Word - 5/7/2006 7:58:39 AM

Rumtiger

Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline

man..I wish I had clean shits again...stupid high protien diet.

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(in reply to MasterG2kTR)

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RE: Most Functional English Word - 5/7/2006 10:31:34 AM

sweetbbwsub31

Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rumtiger

man..I wish I had clean shits again...stupid high protien diet.

TMI Rumtiger... way TMI

(in reply to Rumtiger)

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RE: Most Functional English Word - 5/7/2006 10:37:13 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
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great post... look through archives... you'll see i posted it a few months ago myself.. LOL

I still think it's funny

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Post #: 5