RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/7/2006 11:26:40 AM

RigidChopper

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/5/2006
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Hello MzWolfen.

Hope all is well.

Based on the responses here, I am glad my interest in BDSM is diminishing.

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/7/2006 11:45:19 AM

ShivaTS

Posts: 132
Joined: 2/4/2006
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Its interesting to read this post. As a Pre-Op Transsexual and a service oriented sub, wonder how people look at me when they see me doing things for my Dom. He likes dressing me up in sexy outfits I guess some may think of me as a sissy maid.

Im suprised how many people pose as true domes and subs on here and wonder why they are allowed once exposed as frauds.

I hope you find what you deserve out there.

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/7/2006 12:00:20 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

Im suprised how many people pose as true domes and subs on here and wonder why they are allowed once exposed as frauds.

Probably because even the Mods realize that yesterdays kicked fraud dom profile is tomorrows hacker. You can reveal someone as a fraud and the next day they're back new profile few to no modifications except a new name and they're back in business. No one ever said that the internet breeds honesty. If anything I think it's been part of the death of honesty, chivalry, and proper behavior.

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/7/2006 12:56:53 PM

MistressWolfen

Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
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Hiya chopper....I think that you are personalising the comments on service to reflect against people that crossdress (at least I think). The OP had asked about serving as a sissymaid (house service) and other services a Domme may, or has, requested or required of one in that role. I think that on the whole the responses have validated sissymaids as crossdressers in fact more than one has said they are quite sexy, but it appears to be the consensus that they are very seldom service oriented. Cloudboy has outlined the reality of maid service, even with play involved, it is hard, tiring dirty and rather thankless work, and difficult to maintain for any length of time. There is a very practical consideration as well...a gob of oven cleaner on a 7 tiered petticoat and pink satin dress and you get to throw the equivalent of $450. out with the rubbish. The

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/7/2006 1:09:28 PM

LadyHugs

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear cloudboy, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I do enjoy your post dear lad. You are not the "normal" either, to which I wish to point out several things, to which makes you unique and authentic. I also will add, that a good many "FEMDOMS" as you put it, get it but, it does take two individuals to make it work. Finding the match to make it work is the key, in addition to personal preferences every dominant and or submissive must be entitled to without shame and or guilt.

I do take the thoughts of the training from time gone by, such as the Victorian period, the "Governess" manner of running the household as well as historical methods of managing servants. However, hard work and or the intent to do hard work, has been a trip wire for the majority of dominants willing to give sissy maids, CD's and TVs a chance. So many are into their own self's experiences that it is extremely rare to find any who are willing to do the training. When men find out how much hard work is truthfully involved, it is no longer easy; no longer fun and no longer of interest to which they keep running the gambit of FEMDOMS, to find one who will allow them to "dress up" and "act up." For such sissy maids, and femme men there are plenty of fashion shows in DC for them to do their fetish and attract their needed attention.

The sad part is, that an art form of service is lost and mentors frustrated, when so many treat it so unkind. From your own experiences, you have confirmed what is required from everybody involved.

It is a lot of work to put on a tea, a party or a luncheon, let alone a formal dinner. There are protocols that govern such. It really is a beautiful dance of service, timing and presentation, that is done so silently. It really is profound and moving to watch it done well.

I do ponder, if these servants indeed understand the importance of their function, as to be a party of delight or disaster. The party is not about the host/hostess but the guest's pleasure and delight of the senses and the elevation of the guest's state of being. Each act is an presentation, much like a drama on a theater's stage, the next course served--a curtain rises.

A wonderful servant, regardless of gender, role assignment; transports the guest into a wonderful experience, once the enter the threshold of the host/hostess's home. Silently ushering the guest(s) through phases in silent service, to awaken senses and state of being and engage in that certain place. The art to start the process of stopping time and creating new moments take place. From moving from the door, to the parlor and or living room, as the breaths are caught and greetings are exchanged; the servant starts the first acts of the "play per se." As courses are served in organized splender, clockwise from the hostess, honored guest and then ranked guests to end; only to start another course for the senses to experience. The artful manner how plates come and go, beverge glasses never go empty, the dining experience is a "living art" to be shared.

The host/hostess is the "creator" per se and the servants are the instruments that create and present that art.

The tragedy, is when the instruments creators depend on, don't work. Not only is the inspiration lost, so is the art and it's presentation. So, not unlike a ball point pen that is packaged as new, comes out and fails to write--It is thrown away. In time the desire to even try disappears.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to cloudboy)

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/7/2006 6:31:04 PM

RigidChopper

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Hello again,

This morning I read with interest, tonight I just dont care. I'll hide in the background and step into the light around people I know and trust....

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/7/2006 7:42:07 PM

BlondBlueSub4U

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...

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/7/2006 8:24:11 PM

TeeGO

Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
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Yea I flubbed that again. God I love her. A little secret, she is not strictly a subbie. She is my former Mentor-Domme. I would love to have it bloom, but it doesn't seem likely. Anyway Chopper I was saying I know somebody that might be interested in a sissy maid service, and now you have a good idea of who I meant.

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/8/2006 12:36:44 AM

RigidChopper

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Hello TeeGO,

I've had to re read the entire thread again this morning on the chance that my opinions skewed things off topic.

I will concede that each of the messages on this topic have made valid points. Yes. there are a lot of players in the lifestyle. As I still say, the internet killed BDSM. For many on both sides of the aisle, its become a numbers game and the human connection gets lost in the sheer volume of messages.

I've been a Closeted CD for nearly 20 years. I found BDSM as both an outlet for my interests and a safe haven where I could meet likeminded people. That has been so NOT the case. There are certain exceptions of course. There is a vast difference between the fantasy and the reality of being a sissy. I've been caught up in the fantasy stuff, but I am also smart enough to know that it is such. What I interpreted from the first few responses to the original message is that some people had ONE negative experience with a "sissy" and therefore we are all that way. A year ago, you'd see me defending CD's more vigorously, today I normally keep this kink to myself or whomever I may be corresponding with. I am a healthy hetero male with a kink, I have always had it, always will. I have a close friend who is getting ready to make the big leap as a TG. People in general dont understand us/we/them.

Most everyone had valid points based on their respective experiences. I do believe all the cyber nonsense one sees in chatrooms and commercial services has skewed how people look at the CD/TG community. Christ, look at all the banner ads on the right hand side of the CM homepage. For many potential subs, that is their introduction to BDSM. Its easy to go off the rails without the proper guidance.

Every Dom/sub relationship is hard work. You get out of it what you put into it.

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/8/2006 5:34:40 AM

ProperMaleMaid

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Once again, Lady Hugs…expresses a deeper understanding and perhaps a higher standard too.

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/8/2006 6:04:20 AM

sissysuzee

Posts: 11
Joined: 4/15/2006
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Hello,
If I may, I would like to make a brief comment on using sissymaids as real maids. Well, I am a very real sissymaid who has successfully served two Dominant couples as both a submissive available for their use in scene-play as well as a nicely dolled-up French Maid to provide maid services and take care of household chores. I was always required to be dressed in my best satin maids uniforms for all my maid duties -- I know working while all "dressed-up" sounds counter intuitive, however, I quickly learned to act feminine, that is, being more conscious of my movements and taking care not to dirty my uniform. Both my Master & Mistress were very strict and would punish me with a good sound whipping. I soon learned the importance of providing quality service and pleasing my Master & Mistress. Due to job transfers I am currently without a Master or Mistress.
Submissively,
sissymaid suzee

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/8/2006 8:24:14 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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Boys that come to serve are expected to do chores first. They do a good job to be honest, and I know for a fact that neither are neat at home, so I chalk that up to several things:

a. I expect it. it is non-negotiable.
b. They have to do it again if it is not done well the first time
c. I train and retrain
d. Play is not even an option till chores and homework is done.

An hour dressing to get ready? Oh gosh that would not fly in my home, only one is a sissy, and he is expected to dress in front of me.

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"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/8/2006 8:46:19 AM

Najakcharmer

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Realistically, any BDSM transaction has to leave both parties satisfied that they got something positive out of the experience. Otherwise there's no point in having it.

Both the domme and the sissy maid must be very clear and up front with their expectations, and negotiate accordingly. It is the domme's responsibility to say, "I have X amount of time to actually supervise and interact with you, and I expect X amount of chores to be actually completed in a responsible manner without game playing or fucking-up to earn punishment. You earn play by doing real work." It is the sub's responsibility to say, "My expectations are to have your direct involvement and supervision X amount of time, including help with my dressing, and I would like to be treated in this specific manner, and I am willing to actually do X amount of hard work if I get played with X amount of time with these things happening during our scene."

That's an effective back and forth negotiation that does not include hidden agendas, mismatched expectations or crossed messages. Both people involved in the transaction know exactly what they are giving and what they are getting. That's fair and honest, and also it works pretty darn well in my experience.

In general, sissy maids are a waste of time if you want actual work done - UNLESS s/he can get through the clear communication and negotiation phase with absolute honesty and clarity. If it is clearly understood that play will be forthcoming only when the tasks are done in a satisfactory way, and deliberate fucking-up or neglect for doing actual work means being sent home with no play rather than being erotically "punished", the session can be productive for both the domme and the sissy maid.

I enjoy sissy maids very much, but I do not enjoy time wasters who cannot be clear and honest about their expectations, or people who do not keep their promises and committments of service. Being a sissy maid in my home is *not* all about you and your sexy wardrobe. It is about actually serving and doing real work as well as being decorative, and being rewarded for successful completion of assigned maid duties in a manner appropriate to your role and station.

The "no strings attached housework" model rarely works. The "I'm a sissy maid and I just want to serve you" also rarely works. Both parties have the responsibility to negotiate clearly and honestly, both parties have to be willing to find out what the other person's expectations are and be prepared to give their time and energy to fulfill them in a mutually satisfactory transaction.

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/8/2006 9:45:12 AM

Proprietrix

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I understand what you're saying here and I value initial negotiations, but to me, negotiations are to work out details of an overall concept that is mutually understood in the first place. I feel it's a huge time-waster to have to sit down and define each word in the English language. When someone comes to me and says:
"I'm interested in doing no-strings housework and cleaning for you for 3 hours every Tuesday, as long as I can wear my dress.",
I take that to mean:
"I'm interested in doing no-strings housework and cleaning for you for 3 hours every Tuesday, as long as I can wear my dress."
I don't take that to mean "I want to come over on Tuesdays, spend an hour getting dressed, do a few little chores that won't get my dress dirty, do them incorrectly so you'll spank me, and then leave." If that is what someone means, then they have miscommunicated their intentions, and has nothing to do with me misunderstanding what they said their intentions were.

I shouldn't have to sit there for hours on end asking this person's definition of "no-strings", and "housework" and "cleaning", and "3 hours", and "wear my dress". And then manage to get around to the actual details (negotiations) of which duties one will be doing and which cleansers I prefer are used. By that time, I could have cleaned the house myself, or arranged a non-sissy to just do the work.

Just as if someone comes to me and says "I'm looking for a spanking with a paddle", I'm not going to sit down in negotiations and ask them if what they really mean by "spanking" is that they want to work on my car. And by "paddle", do they really mean they want to go grocery shopping with me.

If someone is misrepresenting their intention in the first place, or are just so incompetant that they believe "housework" equates to "spanking", they aren't someone I want to be interacting with in the first place. Who knows if later down the road they are suddenly going to think "fry me an egg" means "call the police on me."
If someone isn't able to communicate their true intentions, I don't take it as my responsibility to sit there and decipher them during negotiations. I'll just go find someone who has a grasp on the language we use.

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IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/8/2006 9:58:05 AM

Najakcharmer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix
If someone is misrepresenting their intention in the first place, or are just so incompetant that they believe "housework" equates to "spanking", they aren't someone I want to be interacting with in the first place. Who knows if later down the road they are suddenly going to think "fry me an egg" means "call the police on me."
If someone isn't able to communicate their true intentions, I don't take it as my responsibility to sit there and decipher them during negotiations. I'll just go find someone who has a grasp on the language we use.

Agreed completely. People who do this fall under the category of "time wasters", or more charitably, people who have not yet taken the time to do a complete and honest self-inventory to figure out what they really want well enough to communicate it to another person. Eg, they really aren't ready to do BDSM play with a partner because they are incapable of negotiating from a position of honesty and self-knowledge. It's not even that they're planning to lie to you, most likely. They simply don't know themselves well enough to accurately communicate their needs and expectations to a partner, so their "negotiations" are based in fantasy rather than reality.

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/8/2006 11:16:57 AM

yourMissTress

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Using Fast Reply, so this is in reply to the thread in general and no one in particular.

I have had a sissy maid or three over the years. I've also had sub males that offered "no strings housework". Here is where the difference lies. A sissy maid doesn't want to just come and clean your house and leave having performed a service that the Mistress will appreciate. They want to be appreciated as a sissy maid. That's what they get out of the deal. They are not interested in serving the Mistress and making Her life easier, they are interested in the Mistress that enjoys seeing them dressed up and, in many cases, humiliating them in some way as a sissy. It's a fetish that both parties have to enjoy for all to be happy.

I personally enjoy sissy maids but when I plan an afternoon with a sissy maid, I plan on them cleaning ONE room, and not the bathroom or kitchen. I plan to have nothing else to do so that I may enjoy watching them try to dust or vacuum in their 6 inch heels, corset and I usually add some other piece to their attire that usually is an insertable. I don't have a sissy maid come to do work, I have a sissy maid come to entertain Me. I have found that sissy maids can be quite useful when serving at a party, again, they are doing very light work like holding a tray or refilling drinks and they are more on display than doing any actual work.

As far as "no strings housework" is concerned there are subs out there that are capable of performing this service. But "no strings" I've yet to find, and maybe it's because I'm not looking for someone that I can't play with or interact with on some level. I have had subs that come by and take care of the yard work and leave, but I always talk with them on the phone or see them later in the week and there's some interaction or play. I enjoy showing My appreciation for a job well done, effort, and thoughtfulness.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/8/2006 4:32:00 PM

LindaLashes

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Hmm, I have been used as such. In reply to LadyHugs, contrary to many quite many crossdressers I don´t like flashy dresses, platforms or short pvc miniskirts. My preferred clothing is moderate, brown or black, stylish but simple. You could say my clothing style is quite similar to what I like to wear as a guy.
I don´t want to stand out, and definently not be like a pink popsicle....

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/8/2006 4:38:04 PM

ladiespet77

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Great posts on this topic and i understand opionions on Both sides......I will agree with allot of what has been said....i think Miss Tress and NaJakcharmer Really hit the nail on the head

I am a service sub and have done maid service as well...i work Very hard and do Real work...lol..(By the way the fluffy costumes are just that costumes.They have thier place.Yet are Not practical for Real work. Uniformes for Real housework work are readily available....lol)

As for the dynamics of sissymaid........it is Always a 2 way street in my opnion, regardless of the fetish/kink or play involved. If Both sides are Not getting needs met it will Not work. If both sides are Not into Basicly same kink it will also Not work There are Very few Dommes who Truley "get" or are into the sissymaid thing (as well as Lots of "do-me" maids).It is an extreme humiliation fetish. However Real balance and "good" people are out there on both sides...

My final thought is on a comment made about forced crossdressing.The comment stated ther is no such thing. I disagree.I am Not a T.V. Nor do i consider myself to be a crossdresser per say.I do enjoy the Humiliation of being forced however,and when it involves Maid service it is even more so. The dynamics of "forced " are Not for everone.They are however Very Real

< Message edited by ladiespet77 -- 5/8/2006 4:39:55 PM >

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/8/2006 6:06:42 PM

MistressWolfen

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very well articulated

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RE: Using sissy maids for real maid duties - 5/12/2006 8:42:54 PM

LTRsubNW