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What do I do? - 5/7/2006 11:11:11 AM   
arcticpaw


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: Orangeville area, Ontario
Status: offline 		I've been in a D/s relationship since I was about 16, to my dominant bf. I always played submissive/masochist to his Dom/Sadist. But in the back of my mind, I'd fantasize about topping. Don't get me wrong, I love being his bottom but every once in a while Id get in the mood to top. But of course, I never really got to act it out with him.

In recent months he's realized he sometimes likes to bottom, leaving me in charge and giving me a rush of "Yes, I get to top! Muwahahaha!"

But after being a sub for so many years, and having no experience topping I'm left wondering "Okay, I'm the top.. now what?"

I know, get him to serve, pleasure me. That's all good. But I'm having trouble coming up with degrading names or degrading activities to get him to preform. Does this make sense at all? I know. be creative, do what -I- want. I'm just having trouble slipping into the whole top thing, even though it's what I want.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What do I do? - 5/7/2006 11:15:36 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Switch I think has appeal from time to time but like water even a switch has to find their level...are you interested in sexual and/ or sensual service or do you just have the desire from time to time to Top and just beat his arse "because you can"? The Topping book might be a place to start. For me I personally don't get off on degrading names and degrading activites. YMMV

(in reply to arcticpaw)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What do I do? - 5/7/2006 1:23:24 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		There's all sorts of things to do to him, it depends on what the two of you are into. Dress him up to suit you, spank him, whip him, make him eat from a dog dish at your feet, foot worship, use toys on him, begging, make him bathe you or do your make up.............on and on and on etc etc etc lol.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What do I do? - 5/7/2006 8:49:35 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I know, get him to serve, pleasure me. That's all good. But I'm having trouble coming up with degrading names or degrading activities to get him to preform. Does this make sense at all? I know. be creative, do what -I- want. I'm just having trouble slipping into the whole top thing, even though it's what I want.


Does it have to be degrading?  Is degradation what you or he wants?  Or do you simply think that in order to be the bottom, it must be degrading?
 
How about learning penis/scrotum bondage?  I know that, when I top someone, I generally go with the flow.  Sometimes I'll restrict their movement for a period of time.  Other times I'll inflict pain.  Still others I'll give them assignments to be completed within a specific time period.  It all depends on what the "atmosphere" is at the time.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to arcticpaw)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What do I do? - 5/7/2006 9:23:56 PM   
texguy98


Posts: 71
Joined: 3/13/2005
Status: offline 		Go to some play parties. Get some ideas. Have some fun :)

-Tex

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What do I do? - 5/7/2006 10:31:56 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

How about learning penis/scrotum bondage? 


This got me thinking why call him names when you can put him in a humbler strap. Everymovement pulls on his balls.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What do I do? - 5/8/2006 5:19:01 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Names: Slutboy, manwhore, boytoy, mama's boy, fagwannabe, asshole sniffer, puppy, dumbass, ball less wonder.

Degrading acts: make him strip in front of you, placing his hands up behind his head with fingers locked together as you examine him ( check him all over, including his teeth) let him spread his own ass cheeks because you don't want to touch a dirty slaves ass, tell him his asshole looks worn out, tell him what a pathetic specimen he is and how you doubt you'd get very much for him  whoring him out. Make him kneel and kiss your feet, lick your feet, suck your toes. Make him lick your shoes clean with his tongue. Dress him up in women's panties, put makeup on him and make him fuck his own asshole with a buttplug while you watch, tell him what a whore he is for liking it so much and you can record this to make him view later.   Show him how your strap on cock is bigger then his and why women don't really need pathetic men, then make him kneel and force him to suck it. Really grab a handful of hair and fuck his mouth with it, even gag him just a bit so he knows how the women in his life have felt or at least tell him that.

The list is pretty much endless you just need to find out what he finds personally degrading and take it from there.

~Lashra

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What do I do? - 5/16/2006 8:47:57 PM   
luluorange1


Posts: 11
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: arcticpaw

I've been in a D/s relationship since I was about 16, to my dominant bf. I always played submissive/masochist to his Dom/Sadist. But in the back of my mind, I'd fantasize about topping. Don't get me wrong, I love being his bottom but every once in a while Id get in the mood to top. But of course, I never really got to act it out with him.

In recent months he's realized he sometimes likes to bottom, leaving me in charge and giving me a rush of "Yes, I get to top! Muwahahaha!"

But after being a sub for so many years, and having no experience topping I'm left wondering "Okay, I'm the top.. now what?"

I know, get him to serve, pleasure me. That's all good. But I'm having trouble coming up with degrading names or degrading activities to get him to preform. Does this make sense at all? I know. be creative, do what -I- want. I'm just having trouble slipping into the whole top thing, even though it's what I want.



The problem I see here is that you are "left with the choice to top because he wants to bottom". As much as it appeals to you, it's not coming from you.
No wonder you have trouble with it, first focus on your intention, is this what you really want, because if it is, act it out; if not, you are just playing top at your top's request.



_____________________________

"The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live." Elbert Hubbard.

Mistress S

(in reply to arcticpaw)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What do I do? - 5/17/2006 1:12:53 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		To successfully top, you must feel the desire to. A good way to start is by looking for imperfections or thinking of things he does or has done that you didn't like. Doesn't he deserve to be punished?  This is your chance to show him the relationship is a two way street. Once you attain that mindset, do some of the same things to him that he has done to you, then think of some of your own.

(in reply to luluorange1)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What do I do? - 5/17/2006 1:38:49 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Have you ever fantasized about what you would like to do to someone who pissed you off?  Who hurt you?  Who illicited any negative emotion in you?

Well, here is your chance.  Drop the negative feelings and put whatever things that you fantasized into a way of doing them that would be safe.  (Bad wording, I know).

Another option is to think of something that you would like to try. . . but have not had the chance to.

Communication is a key here.  For your first topping experiances I really recommend letting your partner know what it is that you are wanting to do.

If you feel anger or rage or other negative emotions, then it is important that you call off the scene.  Likewise, if you feel uncomfortable or worried, you should call it off.  (I have had to do this before, sure I felt like an ass, and my partner couldn't understand why, but I felt that it was in the best interest. . . catch me on the flip side if you want details.)

Going from sub to top can be rocky. . . but try and consider your fantasies, and be sure and keep a positive, healthy, mind-space, and it should be okay.  It does get easier.

Best,

LaMalinche


(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What do I do? - 5/18/2006 11:26:40 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		If you can't come up with anything to do, then perhaps you shouldn't do it.  Just a suggestion.

- Dustyn


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to arcticpaw)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What do I do? - 8/2/2006 8:27:53 AM   
TheDiva


Posts: 129
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Names: Slutboy, manwhore, boytoy, mama's boy, fagwannabe, asshole sniffer, puppy, dumbass, ball less wonder.

Degrading acts: make him strip in front of you, placing his hands up behind his head with fingers locked together as you examine him ( check him all over, including his teeth) let him spread his own ass cheeks because you don't want to touch a dirty slaves ass, tell him his asshole looks worn out, tell him what a pathetic specimen he is and how you doubt you'd get very much for him  whoring him out. Make him kneel and kiss your feet, lick your feet, suck your toes. Make him lick your shoes clean with his tongue. Dress him up in women's panties, put makeup on him and make him fuck his own asshole with a buttplug while you watch, tell him what a whore he is for liking it so much and you can record this to make him view later.   Show him how your strap on cock is bigger then his and why women don't really need pathetic men, then make him kneel and force him to suck it. Really grab a handful of hair and fuck his mouth with it, even gag him just a bit so he knows how the women in his life have felt or at least tell him that.

The list is pretty much endless you just need to find out what he finds personally degrading and take it from there.

~Lashra


I like the way you think....

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What do I do? - 8/2/2006 10:12:43 AM   
MistyMenthal


Posts: 413
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Names: Slutboy, manwhore, boytoy, mama's boy, fagwannabe, asshole sniffer, puppy, dumbass, ball less wonder.

Degrading acts: make him strip in front of you, placing his hands up behind his head with fingers locked together as you examine him ( check him all over, including his teeth) let him spread his own ass cheeks because you don't want to touch a dirty slaves ass, tell him his asshole looks worn out, tell him what a pathetic specimen he is and how you doubt you'd get very much for him  whoring him out. Make him kneel and kiss your feet, lick your feet, suck your toes. Make him lick your shoes clean with his tongue. Dress him up in women's panties, put makeup on him and make him fuck his own asshole with a buttplug while you watch, tell him what a whore he is for liking it so much and you can record this to make him view later.   Show him how your strap on cock is bigger then his and why women don't really need pathetic men, then make him kneel and force him to suck it. Really grab a handful of hair and fuck his mouth with it, even gag him just a bit so he knows how the women in his life have felt or at least tell him that.

The list is pretty much endless you just need to find out what he finds personally degrading and take it from there.

~Lashra



I like the way you think....


Oh My Dear~

Don't know if they have a cure for that?

40 SECOND INHALE Misty

(in reply to TheDiva)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What do I do? - 8/2/2006 11:59:51 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Since you have subbed to him for a long time it seems to me you have a lot to draw from. What are some of the things he's done to you that were just awful? What are some of the things he calls you that really make your cheeks burn? You can say and do a lot of the same things and in fact, that could be part of your game. Payback is hell you know.

(in reply to MistyMenthal)
Profile   Post #: 14
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