RE: Are sub men just closet gays?

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ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/11/2011 3:29:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: SSBBWPam Okay, just to be sure... So far I have been told I do not ask questions right. I do not journal right. I do not Domme right. I do not search right. And now...what...I do not feel or think right? While I agree with the sentiment...that one should remain detached until meeting...it is not always easy to do so. There are sometimes extenuating circumstances. Background information that not everyone has. You guys are answering a bunch of questions I did not ask. Do you always have such a hard time keeping on task? Truthfully, I did answer the question that you asked. From your original, I honestly got the feeling that you weren't all that familiar with everything that could be put under the kinks that are associated with those who identify as cucks or the dynamics which include them. This says to Me that you haven't had a cuck who didn't fall into the mainstream stereotyping that you put forth in your opening post or you are basically attracting a lot of fantasists. Which ties into the above. Instead of the question that you presented, in My opinion, the one you should be asking goes to the tune of, "is what I'm doing bringing success?" Obviously, it's not. It isn't on this thread, it isn't for the type of males that are attracted to your profile, and it isn't in your life. Like it or not, the common denominator in all of your interactions is you. To be very frank with you, if you got emotionally invested in someone that you've never met, you didn't make the wisest move. The background info that we don't have doesn't change the bottom line. You put yourself in that situation and now you're paying for it. Don't want to listen to suggestions not to do it again? Fine. Have at it. Just don't be surprised when you do something that isn't very smart and then be all shocked that people don't have sympathy for you. Speaking of which, the little tantrums about how terrible you found it here when you came to learn.......... Please. Some of us really don't give a rat's ass. If you really expect people on the internet to behave the way you want them to just to please you, I can promise that it's not going to happen. You're just not Domme enough to get every person on the site to submit to the way you want them to act. If you want to learn, then do that. People here, in their various ways have been attempting to educate you. As the old adage goes, you were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. In total agreement with LadyP on this one.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/11/2011 3:43:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama quote: Be the person your one true love would want to be with. Nominated for quote of the day! awww thanks... So there you have it... Sunny quote of the day goes to sunshinemiss (that's me) via kalikshama for Be the person your one true love would want to be with.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/11/2011 4:56:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beinbluesbeech Why not just take people as individuals? Subs are not cloned.Perhaps the people you are talking about begging, are doing that to please you? If "subs" are not there to please the Dom, then they are not subs. Sounds like you are asking to poll subs to find out if they are just deceptive. I could be wrong. Respectfully, beinbluesbeech Don't make me report you to the mother ship!

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/11/2011 4:58:30 PM)
~fast reply~ All fat chicks are bitches. (I am a fat chick so I can say that!)

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/11/2011 5:54:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic Let me put this another way Are all women stupid? Hmm.... this is one a' them there trick questions, ain't it? I'd better think about this for a minute....

sunshinemiss -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/11/2011 6:20:07 PM)
Silly old bear!

stellauk -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/11/2011 6:20:50 PM)
I'm with Lockit on this one... I'm coming into a thread on the fifth page which looks like a dog's dinner.. I read the OP's profile, not all of the words went in there, I just couldn't listen to the audio journal entries, because they were all over the place. Without going into details over who said what and why seems the OP has a knack for rubbing people up the wrong way.. i have to admire the OP, I'd have a nervous breakdown pretty quickly with that amount of drama in my life. And over what? Three people having a shag? I mean, that's what it boils down to from the way I see it. All this boils down to one problem - communication. It all starts with communication. You don't get anywhere here without.. communication. Some people skip this step, but it's essential - first you need to be able to communicate effectively with yourself before you can with anybody else. If it's not clear to you in your mind and in your heart what it is you are seeking and with whom then you won't be able to communicate that to anyone else. Please bear in mind you're dealing with strangers here. Nobody is going to go out of their way to understand you or try and find out what it is you really want. You have to somehow find a way of getting that across to these people, what you want, need and with whom. You get back what you communicate out. Always. I dread to think what could be coming into your Inbox. The profile was bad enough. And I just could not get through any of the journal entires. I'm sorry. No structure, no coherence, no organization. You put a mess out there on your profile you're going to get a mess coming back at you through your Inbox. In that situation starting a thread there probably wasn't your best option. Asking someone for advice, one person, maybe two or three, might be a step forward out of all of this. I think the biggest lesson you will learn here is that you just cannot fish a couple of people off the Internet straight into a cuck relationship or arrangement. It doesn't work out like that. It's a process. You get to know one person, meet them, and then develop a relationship with them. When you're both okay and agreeing that this relationship is solid enough then you start the process all over again. This applies to dommes as much as it applies to anyone else. Nobody gets a free ride here. Nobody. Oh and another thing, you never really get who you want here. You end up with who you deserve. If you want to be with quality people you have to put in the time, the effort, and the communication. If you're not bothered to do all this then you have to put up with the drama, the mishaps, the incompatible subs, the no shows, the wackjobs and everything else you can find on this site. That choice is always your's to make. It's your profile, you're the one receiving the messages, you're the one making the decisions and the choices. If you're not happy with what is coming in through your Inbox or with the people you're meeting then you just need to make different choices and different decisions. If you are doing the right things there's no need to study humanity, society or gender politics. There's no need to wonder about the sexual orientation of a whole gender of the human race. You just need to examine the way you are communicating, and the decisions and choices you are making. I hope this helps.

DeviantlyD -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/11/2011 10:20:26 PM)
Normally I have the attention span of a gnat and I rarely get through one of Stella's posts, but this time I read it. Stella raises some excellent points!! And I'm totally with her on the impotance of good communication. (It ain't just for kink.;) Great post Stella!

81song -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/12/2011 10:08:48 AM)
Very well put stellauk and yes it is a process. But to the question ..I use to think way back when if I enjoyed anal sex that meant maybe I was gay but found out, hell that is where my g-spot is and yes I do enjoy it but am not gay or bi. that being said, if I was with a Domme for a while and it turned her on that I would be with another male sub, then I would have to look at it. But it would be because t makes the Domme happy. It all start and ends with Her.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/12/2011 10:36:21 AM)
quote: Oh and another thing, you never really get who you want here. You end up with who you deserve. by stellauk Nominated for quote of the day.

beinbluesbeech -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/12/2011 5:24:40 PM)
First bowling balls now this?

DeviantlyD -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/12/2011 10:27:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beinbluesbeech First bowling balls now this? Bowling bowls? I'm obviously out of the loop! :D

GreedyTop -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/12/2011 10:40:23 PM)
I thought it was only me, DD... LOL

DeviantlyD -> submissive men, gay or not, can I touch you? :D (4/13/2011 12:16:37 AM)
GreetyTop: Oh good, I'm not alone! :D

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/13/2011 12:05:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SSBBWPam Are sub men just closet gays? Especially cucks. It seems like many sub men want me to force them to crossdress or do bi stuff. Now, I am way into forced bi. But the forced bi kinda loses its appeal when it is not forced but begged for. Hi SSBBWPam, I see that we're already on page 5 of this thread, but I'm going to answer your original question anyway. I'm a submissive male. And I'm a very straight, masculine submissive male. So based on a sample size of one, the answer to your question is "No. ALL sub men are NOT closet gays". But I think you realize that that was a broad generalization anyway. Having said that, let's peel back the onion a little bit further, because you've actually hit upon a question that I've debated with others many times. I have seen literally hundreds of sub men beg dominant women to "force" them to suck another man's cock. Yet, those same men will argue adamantly that they are not the least bit bi-curious. I can agree with those who argue that fantasizing about sucking another man's cock doesn't make you gay. But I have a hard time with those who argue that they're not bi-curious. If wanting to suck another man's cock is not a sign of being bi-curious, then I don't know what is. I do understand that there are straight sub men who have been sexual with another man out of pure submission. They neither requested, or enjoyed the act. But they did it to please their Domme. I'm not talking about those fellas. I'm talking about the ones who reach out to random Dommes on the internet and BEG them to "force" them to suck cock. To me, there are two problems with that type of behavior. Firstly, it's not the least bit submissive. Obviously, they don't comprehend that. They must believe that begging a Domme to play a supporting role in your personal fetish is somehow an act of submission. [8\|] The second problem that I have with is it is that so many of them can't be honest with themselves and admit their own bi-curious (and possibly closet gay) nature. That is the worse of the two issues to me. Wasn't it Shakespeare who said "to thine own self be true"? There's nothing wrong with being bi-curious....or gay. But there is something wrong with lying to yourself. If fantasizing non-stop about sucking another man's cock is not a sure sign of bi-curiousness, then what is it? And that's true whether you're "forced" to do it or not. If the majority of you interactions with sub males have been with this type of self-deluding individuals, then I can see why you might ask your original question. I suppose that in some men's minds, admitting their own bi-curious nature is the same as admitting that they are gay. And in their minds, that's not a reality that they're willing to accept. So they seek someone to "force" them to do it so they can have plausible deniability. It's self-delusion, but I guess it helps them sleep at night. Hope that helps.

LadyPact -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/13/2011 12:12:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 Hi SSBBWPam, I see that we're already on page 5 of this thread, but I'm going to answer your original question anyway. I'm a submissive male. And I'm a very straight, masculine submissive male. So based on a sample size of one, the answer to your question is "No. ALL sub men are NOT closet gays". But I think you realize that that was a broad generalization anyway. Having said that, let's peel back the onion a little bit further, because you've actually hit upon a question that I've debated with others many times. I have seen literally hundreds of sub men beg dominant women to "force" them to suck another man's cock. Yet, those same men will argue adamantly that they are not the least bit bi-curious. I can agree with those who argue that fantasizing about sucking another man's cock doesn't make you gay. But I have a hard time with those who argue that they're not bi-curious. If wanting to suck another man's cock is not a sign of being bi-curious, then I don't know what is. I do understand that there are straight sub men who have been sexual with another man out of pure submission. They neither requested, or enjoyed the act. But they did it to please their Domme. I'm not talking about those fellas. I'm talking about the ones who reach out to random Dommes on the internet and BEG them to "force" them to suck cock. To me, there are two problems with that type of behavior. Firstly, it's not the least bit submissive. Obviously, they don't comprehend that. They must believe that begging a Domme to play a supporting role in your personal fetish is somehow an act of submission. [8\|] The second problem that I have with is it is that so many of them can't be honest with themselves and admit their own bi-curious (and possibly closet gay) nature. That is the worse of the two issues to me. Wasn't it Shakespeare who said "to thine own self be true"? There's nothing wrong with being bi-curious....or gay. But there is something wrong with lying to yourself. If fantasizing non-stop about sucking another man's cock is not a sure sign of bi-curiousness, then what is it? And that's true whether you're "forced" to do it or not. If the majority of you interactions with sub males have been with this type of self-deluding individuals, then I can see why you might ask your original question. I suppose that in some men's minds, admitting their own bi-curious nature is the same as admitting that they are gay. And in their minds, that's not a reality that they're willing to accept. So they seek someone to "force" them to do it so they can have plausible deniability. It's self-delusion, but I guess it helps them sleep at night. Hope that helps. If I had permission from your Domme, I would kiss you on the lips for the highlighted above!!!! I am thrilled that someone gets it.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/13/2011 1:01:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact If I had permission from your Domme, I would kiss you on the lips for the highlighted above!!!! Well, since I'm Domme-less right now, I grant you permission myself. My eyes are closed, and my lips are puckered. So lay one on me. Right here...... Ummmm, I'm still waiting........Just one little kiss. Please......... Pretty please with sugar on top. "(Yes, I'm begging, but I ain't too proud to beg). [:D]

LadyPact -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/13/2011 1:06:30 PM)
Begging? Yummy!!!!

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/13/2011 2:47:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I do understand that there are straight sub men who have been sexual with another man out of pure submission. They neither requested, or enjoyed the act. But they did it to please their Domme. I have a good example of how a man can find himself in a sexual situation that is not optimal in his eyes, but he accepts nevertheless in order to please his Domme. Many men fantasize about having a threesome. In these fantasies, the threesome is usually mff. I have had these fantasies as well. Yet, in real life, I have never fulfilled that fantasy. But I have had LOTS of threesomes. How is that possible? Well, the threesomes that I've participated in have always been mmF. Not my optimal scenario, but it pleased Her, so I did it (many times). But despite being in a sexual scenario with another man, I am not the least bit gay. I know that's not quite the same as a forced bi situation, but it's the closest that I've ever come to that, and I didn't feel the least bit gay.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Are sub men just closet gays? (4/13/2011 4:00:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 ...totally and shamelessly winding Lady P up... ...you are now totally and shamelessly winding Lady P up. (Not saying you should stop, because I might get lynched. Just letting you know it's been noticed. [8D])

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