RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub.

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/21/2011 1:30:43 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Responsibility in ANY relationship goes both ways. It doesn't matter if the relationship is D/s, M/s, or vanilla.

Really? I don't think I have any responsibility to Carol. I don't think she has any responsibility to me. I think both of us are obligated to ourselves, our own ideals, and the ultimate reality of consequence.

I feel about "responsibilities" (at least the way it's being used here) much the same as I feel about "rights". I don't understand where they come from. I don't understand who assigns and/or removes them. I don't understand how performance is graded against them. I just don't see how it applies.

I live in the world of consequences and that works for me.

I don't think I have any *responsibility* toward M, but if I want an M/s relationship then I am certainly responsible for doing what's required to have one and vice-versa. If we don't do what it takes to have it, then yes, the consequences will be that we end up sans M/s.

The responsibilities that we have, aren't assigned by anyone apart from us and how we view M/s. Rights work the same way for us. I knew what rights I had or didn't have from the outset...........He knew exactly what rights he had over me from the word go, too. Our relationship is strictly M/s, it wasn't forged beforehand on anything else (apart from friendship), so perhaps this makes a difference.

I'm not sure what you mean about grading performance though.

Regards, agirl

_____________________________

See how easy it can be?

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/21/2011 1:44:14 PM

Posts: 247
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline

She said:

quote:

Honey, I need to talk to you.

He heard:
You fucktard, stop what you are doing and spend the rest of the afternoon listening to me tell you how you are doing EVERYTHING wrong!

LMAO

_____________________________

‘The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.’

— Mark Twain

_____________________________________________

¿uǝddɐɥ sıɥʇ pıp ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʍoɥ˙˙˙˙ǝɯ ןןǝʇ ʎpoqǝɯos

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/21/2011 1:46:53 PM

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Responsibility in ANY relationship goes both ways. It doesn't matter if the relationship is D/s, M/s, or vanilla.

Really? I don't think I have any responsibility to Carol. I don't think she has any responsibility to me. I think both of us are obligated to ourselves, our own ideals, and the ultimate reality of consequence.

I feel about "responsibilities" (at least the way it's being used here) much the same as I feel about "rights". I don't understand where they come from. I don't understand who assigns and/or removes them. I don't understand how performance is graded against them. I just don't see how it applies.

I live in the world of consequences and that works for me.

I don't think I have any *responsibility* toward M, but if I want an M/s relationship then I am certainly responsible for doing what's required to have one and vice-versa. If we don't do what it takes to have it, then yes, the consequences will be that we end up sans M/s.

Exactly! Leadership is quibbling over semantics. Whether you call them responsibilities, rights, consequences, or "fiddle-faddles", each party in a relationship has things that they need to do to keep that relationship intact. If they don't do those things, the relationship will likely crumble.

(in reply to agirl)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/21/2011 1:49:26 PM

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladynlord

She said:

quote:

Honey, I need to talk to you.

He heard:
You fucktard, stop what you are doing and spend the rest of the afternoon listening to me tell you how you are doing EVERYTHING wrong!

Sadly, that's often exactly what happens when it comes to inter-gender communications.

(in reply to ladynlord)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/21/2011 2:44:34 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Responsibility in ANY relationship goes both ways. It doesn't matter if the relationship is D/s, M/s, or vanilla.

Really? I don't think I have any responsibility to Carol. I don't think she has any responsibility to me. I think both of us are obligated to ourselves, our own ideals, and the ultimate reality of consequence.

I feel about "responsibilities" (at least the way it's being used here) much the same as I feel about "rights". I don't understand where they come from. I don't understand who assigns and/or removes them. I don't understand how performance is graded against them. I just don't see how it applies.

I live in the world of consequences and that works for me.

I don't think I have any *responsibility* toward M, but if I want an M/s relationship then I am certainly responsible for doing what's required to have one and vice-versa. If we don't do what it takes to have it, then yes, the consequences will be that we end up sans M/s.

Exactly! Leadership is quibbling over semantics. Whether you call them responsibilities, rights, consequences, or "fiddle-faddles", each party in a relationship has things that they need to do to keep that relationship intact. If they don't do those things, the relationship will likely crumble.

Leadership (Jeff) has a relationship that came long before the D/s in it ........and which will continue even if the D/s wanes, in some way or other.

Our relationship wasn't/isn't built on love or marriage.....it was spawned entirely relating as D/s. It's as natural as breathing for us to know who does what, why and when. It's not written anywhere, we just *know* it. When either of us behaves remotely *out* of that, there's an instant uncomfortable distance between us. We're only close in an M/s model, we don't know how to *do* egalitarian between us, but to have M/s, we have to DO it because lip service doesn't.

I look at it in this way......... I'm responsible for paying my bills..........there's no-one else out there that's going to do it and if I want my way of living to continue then it falls to me to do so. Ditto my relationship.

agirl

_____________________________

See how easy it can be?

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/21/2011 3:21:24 PM

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mastercesarsub

i just want a clear picture as to a doms responsabilities to his sub. and how to go about telling him, reminding, or how ever it would be worded without consaquince. ty sirs

I am going to go with making sure that he removes the lint from his belly button..... after that... well it's an open field of possibilities.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to mastercesarsub)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/21/2011 4:53:22 PM

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Sunny
Quote of the day
goes to
KnightofMists

for
I am going to go with making sure that he removes the lint from his belly button.....
after that...
well it's an open field of possibilities.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/21/2011 5:09:40 PM

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

Greetings

Well the universal sub's user manual page 155clearly states that...

There are no hard and fast rules for what responsibilities a Dom have for a sub, that depend on the relationship in question, there are no universal laws for how a BDSM relationship is to work. Off course you have the normal responsibilities you would for any other human being, if they get very sick or hurt you call an ambulance, you do not leave a sub alone in a helpless state and so on, but other than that it is up to the individuals in a relationship to determine what responsibilities that Dom have for his or her subs, and those rules apply to that relationship.

It is what I love about BDSM, it is customizable. :P

I wish you well.

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to mastercesarsub)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/21/2011 6:11:08 PM

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline

Most Masters/Doms/ such.. have written rules Once their Relastionship is planted//

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/21/2011 7:41:27 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I would have to say that I have never met or spoken to any Masters/Doms/such that had written rules for their s type. I'm sure some do, but it doesn't seem to be that common.

(in reply to celticlady1)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/21/2011 7:57:34 PM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

I would have to say that I have never met or spoken to any Masters/Doms/such that had written rules for their s type. I'm sure some do, but it doesn't seem to be that common.

That's not entirely correct. "Protocol Handbook for the Leather Slave: Theory and Practice" by Dr Robert Rubel immediately comes to mind. It's been in publication for years.

A number of leather folks have what are commonly known as 'household manuals'. These are basically written instructions for any person who is going to be in service to the house.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to lizi)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/21/2011 11:45:23 PM

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
I would have to say that I have never met or spoken to any Masters/Doms/such that had written rules for their s type. I'm sure some do, but it doesn't seem to be that common.

I knew a guy that had 2 bad M/s relationships in a row. So he took several months assembling a 600 page manifesto before acquiring another slave. It had rules, policy, procedures, instructions for almost every aspect of how he wished his house kept and life lived. He had an Asian influence in his perspectives and the manifesto was so good, like a Bushido code for M/s, I wanted a copy. I know all my own life guidelines but never felt compelled to write them out.

I have written up a few rules in my day, but for each slave individually. I craft just 10 simple rules, guidelines to live by so to speak. One slave felt compelled to add an 11th rule: "Never ever even consider teasing a sadist"

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to lizi)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/22/2011 12:29:53 AM

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

The doms job is to tell you what to do. Your function is to do it. This stuff aint building rocket delivery systems. SHEESH. I do see that your new round these parts but it really is a dumb question. Dom = boss so when your boss tells you to do something do you remind him of their responsibility to you? Im thinking not so much
BadOne

Ah HA!!!!!!
What if she is specifically tasked with building rocket delivery systems, by her master?
Then what would be the issues that need to be discussed?

I got your "rocket" right here. If any of you smokng hot bitches wanna ....
BadOne

I can't swear on a bible, but I'm pretty sure, Ron is no one's bitch... Unless the person in his presence is exceptionally good at sucking *ock... Than, it may be possible to get him to admit to chit, right before orgasms.

M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to SailingBum)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/22/2011 7:46:07 AM

Zoe61

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline

[I agree that the relationship must be discussed but my recent experiences have been that many Doms, online at least, want immediate total control and obedience without, in some cases, ever showing me (sub) his face!! I thought I would find ,at last, a real man who is eager to train me to His desires and also encourage, at least at first, my voice...is it possible or do Doms really want robots?

< Message edited by Zoe61 -- 4/22/2011 7:50:18 AM >

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/22/2011 9:26:15 AM

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zoe61

[I agree that the relationship must be discussed but my recent experiences have been that many Doms, online at least, want immediate total control and obedience without, in some cases, ever showing me (sub) his face!! I thought I would find ,at last, a real man who is eager to train me to His desires and also encourage, at least at first, my voice...is it possible or do Doms really want robots?

Hi Zoe,

Welcome! There will be lots of junk in your inbox, we've just been discussing it here: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3641858/tm.htm

I delete all messages from men who expect instant submission or sound like they reached this site after reading http://www.submissivewomensecrets.com/

KK

(in reply to Zoe61)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/22/2011 9:29:39 AM

gothikbutterfly

Posts: 484
Joined: 12/4/2010
From: the deepest darkest recesses of your mind
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

The doms job is to tell you what to do. Your function is to do it. This stuff aint building rocket delivery systems. SHEESH. I do see that your new round these parts but it really is a dumb question. Dom = boss so when your boss tells you to do something do you remind him of their responsibility to you? Im thinking not so much

BadOne

Ah HA!!!!!!

What if she is specifically tasked with building rocket delivery systems, by her master?

Then what would be the issues that need to be discussed?

I got your "rocket" right here. If any of you smokng hot bitches wanna ....

BadOne

CHEEKY DEVIL! lol

_____________________________

You're the brains of this operation, I just do what I'm told!

(in reply to SailingBum)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/22/2011 9:33:35 AM

gothikbutterfly

Posts: 484
Joined: 12/4/2010
From: the deepest darkest recesses of your mind
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
I would have to say that I have never met or spoken to any Masters/Doms/such that had written rules for their s type. I'm sure some do, but it doesn't seem to be that common.

I knew a guy that had 2 bad M/s relationships in a row. So he took several months assembling a 600 page manifesto before acquiring another slave. It had rules, policy, procedures, instructions for almost every aspect of how he wished his house kept and life lived. He had an Asian influence in his perspectives and the manifesto was so good, like a Bushido code for M/s, I wanted a copy. I know all my own life guidelines but never felt compelled to write them out.

I have written up a few rules in my day, but for each slave individually. I craft just 10 simple rules, guidelines to live by so to speak. One slave felt compelled to add an 11th rule: "Never ever even consider teasing a sadist"

The though has crossed my deliciously devious mind RS, but then I had to remember that I have an open invitation to come and see you and I might regret it later

_____________________________

You're the brains of this operation, I just do what I'm told!

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/22/2011 11:50:39 AM

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
The doms job is to tell you what to do. Your function is to do it. This stuff aint building rocket delivery systems. SHEESH. I do see that your new round these parts but it really is a dumb question.

Actually, it's not a dumb question. But it is a rather dumb answer.

Responsibility in ANY relationship goes both ways. It doesn't matter if the relationship is D/s, M/s, or vanilla.

In a D/s or M/s relationship, the Dom's/Domme's responsibility has to extend beyond telling the sub/slave what to do. What if the Dom/Domme isn't doing things that had been agreed upon at the beginning of the relationship? What if the Dom/Domme is neglecting the sub/slave? What if the Dom/Domme is cheating on the sub/slave, and polyamory wasn't part of the original agreement? What if the sub has a medical condition, and wants her Dom to be more careful physically?

If you think that your only responsibility as a Dom it to tell your sub what to do, then I seriously question your "domliness".

You really are clueless... UH letsee she could always um let me think about this she could LEAVE ah DUH. Like I said in my previous post try telling your boss about his responsibilities to you. Let me know how that works out for you. Question the bosses authority all you want, as it will only get you fired. Come talk to me when your all growed up.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/22/2011 12:06:51 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

You really are clueless... UH letsee she could always um let me think about this she could LEAVE ah DUH. Like I said in my previous post try telling your boss about his responsibilities to you. Let me know how that works out for you. Question the bosses authority all you want, as it will only get you fired. Come talk to me when your all growed up.

There are laws that govern the work place in ways that inhibit bosses from using their authority with impunity. The boss may fire you, but in the end a disgruntled employee may end up owning the company if workplace abuses are found to be too egregious. I am not sure this analogy works very well, as the relationship between boss and employee is much different, and in my experience not so authoritarian as you seem to believe it to be. First of all, there are many levels of "bosses", and not all of them have the power to hire and fire at will. It can be extremely hard to get rid of some employees, even if they absolutely deserve it.

And yes, I have questioned a boss or two in my lifetime and retained my job, not all bosses have that large of an ego that any sort of questioning automatically would lead to a dismissal. Just my experience.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SailingBum)

RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. - 4/22/2011 12:08:40 PM

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

only the two of you can come up with that answer... ask him what he thinks and tell him what you think...

though for me his responsibilities are to

*uck me nine ways to sunday... throw in some pain and humiliation... bound and gagged.... the rest I can take care of myself... well and take care of him too..

(in reply to SailingBum)

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.848