finding a real sub/slave?

finding a real sub/slave? (Full Version)

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agtmiller -> finding a real sub/slave? (4/16/2011 7:45:45 PM)
I am new to being a Master and I am looking for a sub/slave to help me become a better master. So far I have only come across women who need me to send them money so that they can relocate to me and when I tell them that I can't send them any money they say that I am not really serious about having a sub/slave. I was just wondering if I am doing anything wrong or if they are just after my money? I would like to find a Master/Mistress that could give me a little guidence and help me since I am a beginner.

YoungBlondeSlave -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/16/2011 7:53:17 PM)
Nope, they just see you as being new so they'll try their luck. Everyone gets it. Just keep telling them no. It works. So does the "block" and "delete" buttons on your CMail page. Sure, they'll say all that crap about you not being serious to get under your skin so then you'll send money to show you're serious and poof! they disappear. Subs get told we're not real or serious because of all sorts of stupid reasons too. I think I get told that at least once a day. Try taking classes and getting involved in the local community to learn skills, and to meet people. Books are good too but, to be honest I haven't read any in quite awhile to be any help to you. But others have and will most likely suggest them to you. Anyway, good luck to you.

DarkSteven -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/16/2011 7:57:44 PM)
Okay, welcome to this brave new world. 1. You are NOT a Master. A master is someone with considerable experience and recognition by others. You are a new Dom. 2. You are doing something wrong by even bothering with the s types that want money. Get to know a woman first, then see if she's willing to visit. You're wasting your time talking to scammers. 3. The bad news is that I did a quick Google search for BDSM activities in Tulsa and nothing came up. 4. You know what you want. You want two things - a Dom/me or Dom couple to mentor you, and a woman to explore BDSM with. Stick to just those things.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/16/2011 9:23:53 PM)
quote: You are NOT a Master. A master is someone with considerable experience and recognition by others. puhleeeez! so only somebody involved in their local community and with the respect of the members of same are masters? that's a little high school don't you think? being a master is a state of mind, it has nothing to do with experience, training, or references. i mean no disrespect to you DarkSteven, sir, or to any other dominant, but what would you know? if you make my mind shrink in fear and my pussy twitch with excitement and my heart race with the desire to surrender itself, then you are a master. if not, then you aren't and no amount of experience or anything else will change that.

lizi -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/16/2011 9:53:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather quote: You are NOT a Master. A master is someone with considerable experience and recognition by others. puhleeeez! so only somebody involved in their local community and with the respect of the members of same are masters? that's a little high school don't you think? being a master is a state of mind, it has nothing to do with experience, training, or references. i mean no disrespect to you DarkSteven, sir, or to any other dominant, but what would you know? if you make my mind shrink in fear and my pussy twitch with excitement and my heart race with the desire to surrender itself, then you are a master. if not, then you aren't and no amount of experience or anything else will change that. Actually I'd have to say DS is pretty right on with the description of a Master. The OP is doing himself a serious disservice by describing himself as something he's not, because a woman might not find his newness a detractor, but she might find false advertising to be. Master is a title that is generally used by someone with a lot of experience in doing something. If you describe yourself as a Master at cooking, or a Master at martial arts, or a Master at gardening, it not only means you know what you are doing, it means you've been doing it for some time and that you have experience. OP, there are a lot of scammers out there. It's frustrating to weed through them but give it a whirl and see what happens. Here's a great thread to read about finding a woman...http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1717756 Good luck [:)]

RedMagic1 -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/16/2011 9:54:22 PM)
Okay. That was hot!

sirssubk2008 -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/16/2011 9:59:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather quote: You are NOT a Master. A master is someone with considerable experience and recognition by others. puhleeeez! so only somebody involved in their local community and with the respect of the members of same are masters? that's a little high school don't you think? being a master is a state of mind, it has nothing to do with experience, training, or references. i mean no disrespect to you DarkSteven, sir, or to any other dominant, but what would you know? if you make my mind shrink in fear and my pussy twitch with excitement and my heart race with the desire to surrender itself, then you are a master. if not, then you aren't and no amount of experience or anything else will change that. Just out of curiousity, how do you think a person learns to make your mind shrink in fear, etc? Have you been able to experience this from a new Dom? From what I have seen it does require experience to become a Master, however everyone does have their own opinions. To the OP...I don't think you are doing anything wrong. People will try to do and say anything to get money. As YoungBlonde said, 'bock' and 'delete' are your friends. Definitely #4 on DarkSteven's list... This will take time,but make sure you are diligent in your search. Since there doesn't seem to be a community in your area, you might want to figure out if you are able to travel outside your local area in order to attend BDSM activities, even if it is only once. Who knows, you might be able to find a mentor there that is willing to meet you half way or something. [sm=welcomewave.gif]

agtmiller -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/16/2011 10:22:22 PM)
thank you all for your help so far. I will see what I can find as far as a group goes and will remember what you have said.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/16/2011 10:23:01 PM)
quote: Have you been able to experience this from a new Dom? yes sir i have. i have experienced it from men who never thought of themselves in those terms. if you have IT, then it doesn't matter what you say or do, it will have that effect on me. hannah lynn

TheShrew -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/16/2011 10:47:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agtmiller I was just wondering if I am doing anything wrong or if they are just after my money? Yes, they are.

LazyKitten -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/16/2011 11:33:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather quote: You are NOT a Master. A master is someone with considerable experience and recognition by others. puhleeeez! so only somebody involved in their local community and with the respect of the members of same are masters? that's a little high school don't you think? being a master is a state of mind, it has nothing to do with experience, training, or references. i mean no disrespect to you DarkSteven, sir, or to any other dominant, but what would you know? if you make my mind shrink in fear and my pussy twitch with excitement and my heart race with the desire to surrender itself, then you are a master. if not, then you aren't and no amount of experience or anything else will change that. I agree with you 100% about this. I have tried with Doms that were supposedly experienced and WELL known in the community. It took me about a week before I was able to top from the bottom. Another I wish still had me was completely inexperienced, but she was able to make me obey without knowing what she was doing... I WANTED to follow her. If she had not decided she wanted male submissives, I would still be with her.

IrishMist -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/17/2011 8:54:31 AM)
quote: if you have IT, then it doesn't matter what you say or do, it will have that effect on me. In other words, you are easy [8D] In regards to the OP, DarkSteven said it pretty well. Only other thing to add would be to just follow your instincts in situations such as what you described. If you think you are being played, chances are, you are.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/17/2011 12:41:11 PM)
quote: In other words, you are easy well, yes, that too [;)] hannah lynn

DarkSteven -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/17/2011 2:04:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather quote: You are NOT a Master. A master is someone with considerable experience and recognition by others. puhleeeez! so only somebody involved in their local community and with the respect of the members of same are masters? that's a little high school don't you think? being a master is a state of mind, it has nothing to do with experience, training, or references. i mean no disrespect to you DarkSteven, sir, or to any other dominant, but what would you know? if you make my mind shrink in fear and my pussy twitch with excitement and my heart race with the desire to surrender itself, then you are a master. if not, then you aren't and no amount of experience or anything else will change that. Hmm. You consider being a Master to be someone capable of arousing you. I consider it someone versed in a certain activity - bondage, whips, etc. Also, note that your example of a Master is defined by the reaction he produces in YOU. In other words, you consider him to be one. I threw in my requirement for recognition to weed out those who consider themselves to be a Master... and nobody else does.

kalikshama -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/17/2011 2:07:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather quote: You are NOT a Master. A master is someone with considerable experience and recognition by others. puhleeeez! so only somebody involved in their local community and with the respect of the members of same are masters? that's a little high school don't you think? being a master is a state of mind, it has nothing to do with experience, training, or references... I would agree that being Dominant is a state of mind, but I'm with DS on being a Master. One has to put in the time to deserve the title.

DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/17/2011 2:21:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agtmiller I am new to being a Master and I am looking for a sub/slave to help me become a better master. So far I have only come across women who need me to send them money so that they can relocate to me and when I tell them that I can't send them any money they say that I am not really serious about having a sub/slave. I was just wondering if I am doing anything wrong or if they are just after my money? I would like to find a Master/Mistress that could give me a little guidence and help me since I am a beginner. OP I don't think that a person has to be active in the scene or respected in the scene to know that they are dominant, submissive or just plain kinky. I think that those things are ingrained in people. However, I do think that far to many people come online and simply slap on honorifics titles. I personally NEVER call someone Master, Mistress, ect unless I am involved with them. There are A LOT of women and men who are looking for someone to take care of them physically, mentally and financially. Sadly you have to weed through the profiles, the messages and take the time to get get to know what peoples true intentions are. Some are more honest and upfront about them others. Good luck!

Buzzzz -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/17/2011 2:32:59 PM)
I believe someone becomes a master when the community says he is. It takes a lot of time and lots of involvment and service to the lifestyle. Not an easy task. Having my skave call me a master doesn't make me one (just my opinion).

angelikaJ -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/17/2011 2:44:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Buzzzz I believe someone becomes a master when the community says he is. It takes a lot of time and lots of involvment and service to the lifestyle. Not an easy task. Having my skave call me a master doesn't make me one (just my opinion). You are entitled to your opinion. However, the man I am with is Master to me. It is very specific. I don't think my Master has been out in the community, but he does have plenty of experience. (27 years since he first dabbled). I think that perhaps people who are new to WIITWD... I can see why people may take exception to "new doms" labelling themselves as masters or Masters but I also think that relationships are defined by the people in them. To my thinking, I might not qualify as a slave in anyone else's eyes but his, but does it really matter? And for me, the answer is no.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/17/2011 3:00:56 PM)
I agree with those that consider the Master coming with a skill. In my opinion, 'dominant' is a completely subjective term. It stems from a person's core and portrays in his demeanor and attitude. However, I believe 'Master' is more of a objective term. It's a learnt and an acquired skill that he gains only after a period of time by learning skills such as bondage and whipping - regardless of being involved in the community or not. I'm sure there are masters out there that have studied the art of bondage and whips etc. without having been active in the community per se. However, that in no way deprives them of being able to call themselves by the title master.

DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: finding a real sub/slave? (4/17/2011 3:09:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Buzzzz I believe someone becomes a master when the community says he is. It takes a lot of time and lots of involvment and service to the lifestyle. Not an easy task. Having my skave call me a master doesn't make me one (just my opinion). I think far to many people to much weight in this supposed "community". My 1st owner had NEVER been involved in any community online or real life but he sure in the heck was able to master me like no man before him or after him has been able to. So IMO the ability to master me trumps what joe shmoe online or at some munch may think.

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