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RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/19/2011 11:45:34 AM   
Hisprettybaby


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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Then you have to make the leap to suggest that the players are healthy of mind and spirit.

Actually, that could be said of the players in mono, poly, or any relationship styles in-between. No matter what the relationship style, if the players aren't healthy of mind and spirit, they're going to have a harder time of it. Also, the OP is the common denominator in those failed relationships she was part of. Just sayin'.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/19/2011 4:05:28 PM   
LadyNTrainer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: yours4u2use
i know there are many that will not agree with me.....but i think that i have the right to assert an opinion on this subject as i have experience.


So everyone whose relationship ended in failure or whose marriage ended in divorce should exhort others not to embark on a relationship at all, because all relationships will end that way?

Happy poly triad here, zero drama, zero jealousy.  The boys are good friends.  My biggest worry isn't that they get jealous of each other, it's that they get so deeply into geeking out about comics and anime and gaming together that I can barely get a word in edgewise.  I can always assert my domly authority and tell them to knock it off and focus on me, but.....no.  Not inclined to do that very often.  I like my happy and drama-free household where the boys have a fantastic relationship, and I'm not messing with a good thing.  We have a very good thing. 


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(in reply to yours4u2use)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/19/2011 5:36:31 PM   
yours4u2use


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i could give you many reasons why i am/was not the problem.;  

(in reply to Hisprettybaby)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/19/2011 5:51:12 PM   
ResidentSadist


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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: yours4u2use
i could give you many reasons why i am/was not the problem.;  

You could but won't? 

How about taking credit for for that bullshit OP or will you defend it with equal emptiness?




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I give good thread.


(in reply to yours4u2use)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/19/2011 6:13:11 PM   
yours4u2use


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i am not sure how to answer this, and i am not sure why you show such animosity towards me


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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/19/2011 6:54:17 PM   
sunshinemiss


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Taking credit looks like this:

You know, I wrote a post that made some serious presumptions about other people. I presumed to know them and to think my way was the only way, my experience was the only way. I made a suggestion with NOTHING to back it up. I didn't admit that I have found that poly is not for me, and I arrogantly thought that other people would be the same way. I wanted to whine - we all need to sometimes - but I didn't listen to the responses other people made, I didn't consider that perhaps I was wrong or not cut out for the position I put myself in.

Thank you everyone for your patience with me. Thank you for the straight talk. I recognize that there was no malice toward me but instead that you were sharing your own experiences (which I refused to do). I have been rude and a passive aggressive brat throughout this process.

I have learned something important about myself - both from the failed relationships I've had as well as how much I've avoided taking my portion of the responsibility in those relationships. My behavior on this thread has been another example of that.

Next time I will give appropriate information, I will listen and consider the words of other folks when I put information out. I know I don't have to agree with people, but next time I have a conversation with you, it will be just that - a conversation.

Best wishes to you all,
* your name *

And OP: If you think RS has animosity toward you, I'll tell you this about him. You are a zit on the ass of a fly in his life. He responded to you because you were being given good advice from people he respected, and you were pooh poohing it. He is speaking to anyone else who might read this. He's not even talking to you because you don't listen... In fact, I think I'll take that same page out of his book from here on in.

*Of course, RS, if I'm off base here, I welcome your clarification and apologize for overstepping.

best,
sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 4/19/2011 7:10:00 PM >


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(in reply to yours4u2use)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/19/2011 8:11:47 PM   
Hisprettybaby


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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: yours4u2use

i could give you many reasons why i am/was not the problem.;  

Then why don't you? I mean, pleeeeease, by all means DO. You haven't backed up anything you've said so far, so I really am waiting to hear it.....

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to yours4u2use)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/19/2011 8:13:45 PM   
Hisprettybaby


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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
You are a zit on the ass of a fly in his life.


OMG! This is TOO TOO funny!!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/19/2011 9:57:38 PM   
ResidentSadist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
You are a zit on the ass of a fly in his life.

OMG! This is TOO TOO funny!!

I thought her reply was very cute too. 


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.


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Profile   Post #: 69
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/19/2011 10:08:05 PM   
LadyPact


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quote:

ORIGINAL: yours4u2use
i am not sure how to answer this, and i am not sure why you show such animosity towards me

Still can't figure that out, huh? 

Let's say that you started a thread in the P&R section warning subs not to get involved with Catholic Masters.  Do you think those folks who are living a successful D/s dynamic would be thrilled with you "warning" folks not to get involved with them?  You don't think that would be rude in any way?  To decide that because of your two failed experiences with Catholic Masters means that nobody living that way can benefit from it?

I've had clip just about four years now.  If I had the time (which I don't) to sit here and go over all of the benefits that he's had in being a part of My poly household and stacked it up against how bad you felt your failed attempts were, his experiences would be so different than yours it would probably make your head spin.  That means that he succeeded where you failed.  Do you really think he needs your "warning"?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to yours4u2use)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/20/2011 1:22:08 AM   
yours4u2use


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 My original post was written when i was angry and hurt....and i had spent the day fielding some very rude and hurtful emails from one of the partners.
my intention was to suggest that subs consider very hard as to whether or not poly was for them.....as i said, in both cases, i was misled.....both problems, although totally different, stemmed from jealousy.
i will not go into more details due to privacy reasons.

These were not "weekend wonders"........one lasted 16 months and the other 8 months.

i should not have posted....i certainly did not expect the backlash i have gotten....i am sorry


(in reply to yours4u2use)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/20/2011 1:32:22 AM   
subtlebutterfly


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It's okay. I already called the whiny-truck, it's on its way to your place.

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Profile   Post #: 72
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/20/2011 1:54:35 AM   
yours4u2use


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i guess there is no pleasing.......even when you admit you're wrong, you're wrong

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/20/2011 3:21:27 AM   
ranja


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Joined: 11/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: yours4u2use
i am not sure how to answer this, and i am not sure why you show such animosity towards me


yes, why do a few people (some of whom claim to have a successful poly thing going for the time being) have such a problem with a person who saw it all blow up in her face (twice) and writes a warning to others on a poly board ... and where else was she was she going to post it; health and safety?

Could it be because people into poly do not want anybody discouraged at all? ... the more to chose from the better?

I think that unless it is just for a one (or two) night stand, a single sub getting involved with an established couple is tricky to say the least...
i have noticed all the -how to deal with jealousy-  and the -oh dear my Master is looking for another slave and i don't like it- threads on this board...

If a guy goes looking for another female because he's a bit bored with his wife and he supposedly has always hinted at him being 'poly'... so the wife being all slavey goes along with the idea of  having a 'sister'... who turns out to be younger and sexier than her... getting her cunt around her man's cock and her entire body in his brain... well... chances are the boring wife is gonna take a stance and fight her ground.

LP you yourself have said numerous times that if Mr Pact does not like you being poly anymore then clip is out the door (and i don't think you live all together all the time anyway)... then clip might still have his wife to comfort him, but i presume he won't be very happy if he is dumped because Mr Pact has had enough of it...

i agree, for a few it might work (even if it is only for a while)

Op: find yourself a single, desperate and somewhat slutty man, make a relationship with him and then decide if you want a sister
be warned; you might still be plagued with jealousy issues... some of these 'sisters' manage to take off with the man and leave the wife stranded.





(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/20/2011 8:56:56 AM   
LaTigresse


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None of which are really, any different than a relationship between two people only.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/20/2011 9:16:03 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32563
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja
LP you yourself have said numerous times that if Mr Pact does not like you being poly anymore then clip is out the door (and i don't think you live all together all the time anyway)... then clip might still have his wife to comfort him, but i presume he won't be very happy if he is dumped because Mr Pact has had enough of it...

i agree, for a few it might work (even if it is only for a while)

Yes, that is our agreement.  One that we all knew going into it.  That's called being up front and honest with the people you're involved with.  Something that I think all folks entering poly should know.  How will things be handled if it doesn't work out. 

So, let's see if I've got this right, from your perspective.  Any relationship, if it ends at any time, wasn't worth what happened during the period folks were together, because they are sad that it ended?  I think you might want to examine that not all folks look at relationships they way that you do and aren't so terribly frightened of a partner deciding something isn't going to work.  We're way past that point anyway.

I didn't realize that you considered four years just "a while".  Please let us know just how many years it has to be before it qualifies as a successful relationship in your eyes.  Lots of people out there who have been together for decades have been miserable.  Does that work out better just because it's a longer time frame?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/20/2011 10:44:53 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: yours4u2use
You know, no matter how great they sound, jealousy always rears its ugly head. 




Well, shit. I'll be sure to let Alandra know when she returns from Europe, that we have to watch out for that green eyed montster, since it "always rears it's ugly head". Hell we have been in a poly relationship for 6 years now and there has not been any feeling of jealousy between the two of us, but I'll let her know that it is coming...

I was anxiously waiting for her to come home, so life could get back to normal, but now I am even more anxious

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to yours4u2use)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/20/2011 1:06:02 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12570
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: yours4u2use
You know, no matter how great they sound, jealousy always rears its ugly head. 




Well, shit. I'll be sure to let Alandra know when she returns from Europe, that we have to watch out for that green eyed montster, since it "always rears it's ugly head". Hell we have been in a poly relationship for 6 years now and there has not been any feeling of jealousy between the two of us, but I'll let her know that it is coming...

I was anxiously waiting for her to come home, so life could get back to normal, but now I am even more anxious

Knight's Kyra

Why wait?  In view of this vital new discovery about poly from the OP, I think you should send an urgent telegram right now.

. . . Dear Alandra,
Thanks to a post on CollarMe, I have been enlightened to the fact that "jealousy always rears its ugly head" in poly.  I took a moment for inward reflection and could find no jealousy within me.  So it must be you.  I urge you to share your jealous feelings with me so I can put them at ease and reassure you of my love and good intentions for you and our family. 

xoxo



_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.


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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/20/2011 2:34:53 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
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From: Watford / London
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: yours4u2use
You know, no matter how great they sound, jealousy always rears its ugly head. 




Well, shit. I'll be sure to let Alandra know when she returns from Europe, that we have to watch out for that green eyed montster, since it "always rears it's ugly head". Hell we have been in a poly relationship for 6 years now and there has not been any feeling of jealousy between the two of us, but I'll let her know that it is coming...

I was anxiously waiting for her to come home, so life could get back to normal, but now I am even more anxious

Knight's Kyra

Why wait?  In view of this vital new discovery about poly from the OP, I think you should send an urgent telegram right now.

. . . Dear Alandra,
Thanks to a post on CollarMe, I have been enlightened to the fact that "jealousy always rears its ugly head" in poly.  I took a moment for inward reflection and could find no jealousy within me.  So it must be you.  I urge you to share your jealous feelings with me so I can put them at ease and reassure you of my love and good intentions for you and our family. 

xoxo




RS - are you trying to make me laugh so hard I choke :D

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: i urge all sub/slaves to seriously reconsider - 4/20/2011 4:12:18 PM   
sunshinemiss


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Joined: 11/26/2007
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If he wanted you to choke, darling, I don't think he'd do it by making you laugh.

*just saying.

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 80
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