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Falling for my Master - 5/9/2006 7:39:56 PM

ShivaTS

Posts: 132
Joined: 2/4/2006
Status: offline

I have been living with my Master and his wife for almost 3 months now and am finding I am developing feelings for him. I want to be near him and get cuddly with him. I know this isnt appropriate as a slave to be this way. I tried talking to him about this and am he has changed the subject both times. I watched a Dom being friendly with his sub and found I myself wanting that from my Master. I am really confused because of the Master/slave relationship and the fact that I want the affection from my Master but not really sex. Not that he hasnt had me gratify him, but it is more a humiliation thing than pleasure. This has been on my mind for a week now after a really intense session that left me unable to hold myself up. He craddled me in his arms for 30 minutes till I recovered. I dont think I can have what I want because of how our relationship stands and the fact that he has a wife and therefore will never look at me in anyway other than a slave.

Post #: 1

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/9/2006 7:49:20 PM

darq

Posts: 443
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: under a rock
Status: offline

Wow, that seems like such a hard position to find oneself in.

I've been owned by a couple before but fortunately for me neither one used me for sex ... I got lots of affection from both sides and served them in a variety of ways. Unfortunately it fell apart because her young children kept calling me mommy and it freaked her out ...

I'm not sure what to tell you ...

I don't see your feelings as being inappropriate for a slave to feel towards her Master. I think of them as being perfectly natural. Perhaps for the relationship you currently find yourself in, its wrong ... *sigh* I wish I knew what to say ... I guess all I can offer personally is a supportive ear ... I hope it gets better for you.

_____________________________

So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts ...
Tell me, whats so amazing about really deep thoughts?

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 2

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/9/2006 7:50:30 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Yeah no one could possibly have seen this one coming...

He's changed the topic, he's told you that it's not appropriate for you (even though many slaves and masters do love eachother) and you know it's not right.

Either accept it or end the relationship.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 3

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/9/2006 7:52:03 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Either accept it or end the relationship.

cold, but true

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/9/2006 7:54:18 PM

slavegirl18666

Posts: 18
Joined: 11/1/2005
From: Burlington, On
Status: offline

Eekk... this is a bad situation to be in. I fell for my Master, but He was not married and luckily He gave His love to me to be in a relationship as well as continue on with our M/s relationship. Your situation on the other hand becomes a bit difficult in the sense your Master is married. Your feelings do matter, but consider that you went into the relationship only expecting it to be a M/s relationship, nothing more. It's one thing to feel love for him, but to expect it to go anywhere would be wrong of you since he is married. If you don't feel like you can accept that, then it might be in everyones best interest to go thier seperate ways, unless he feels the same way. In the instance that he does feel the same way, it might blossom into a beatiful relationship and he might leave his wife for you (if that's what you are looking for). But, if that's what you want and he does do that, then you must think about how great your relationship would be, because he might do the same thing to you.

_____________________________

"E. Edward Grey: Look, we can't do this 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Lee: Why not?"- 'Secretary'

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 5

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/9/2006 8:20:43 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

LA is right. Accept it or end it.

(in reply to slavegirl18666)

Post #: 6

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/9/2006 8:56:33 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShivaTS
He craddled me in his arms for 30 minutes till I recovered. I dont think I can have what I want because of how our relationship stands and the fact that he has a wife and therefore will never look at me in anyway other than a slave.

It is absolutely appropriate in my opinion, and from the way I have been taught, for a slave to develop feelings for her (his) Master. There is a clinginess, and wantonness, a longing and yearning. A slave will often grow to love her (his) Master (Mistress).

However, as is my relationship with my Master, I am a slave. He will never look at me in any way other than a slave, because that is what I am. He has a wife, and he has a slave. Two entirely different relationships. Sounds similar to your situation, also. You will have to decide of you can reconcile this in your mind or not. It doesn't help that he won't discuss it, however. I can't relate to that part. Maybe he wants you to figure this part out for yourself. Have you asked why he won't let you talk about it?

I wish you well with this. It is not always an easy resolve.

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 7

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/9/2006 9:13:42 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

I'm being mean tonight, but...You signed up for being a slave. What did you expect (not that you don't deserve more)?

It's obvious to me - you want more, actually need affection, heaven forbid.

Not in the BDSM world, but "vanilla" world - you can only give so much and deny yourself of your needs so much - then it turns on you. Dare I say, you are human?

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 8

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/9/2006 10:31:01 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

do not see myself as a slave, but instead I see myself as a submissive. I have prefaced my response to this because I do not know what it is to be a slave. baby here has some points and I think she is right. You are human , you have needs, and denying your feelings is a recipe for disaster. I think that many of the above posters are correct, especially LA, but I also have to say that there is something that disturbed me and that was your owner's inability to discuss your feelings with you. It is his responsibility to make sure that you are cared for as his slave, correct? He does not owe it to you to feel the same way as you do, but I think that he should address your feelings because this is like a time bomb if it just sits there like the elephant in the room... That is just my opinion, and Lord knows I do not have much of a concept about M/s relationships never having had one myself.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to babysburnin)

Post #: 9

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/10/2006 1:44:28 AM

allspicey

Posts: 44
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline

A slave falling for a Master is certainly not unexpected. It sounds like the type and depth of service you give him are almost guaranteed to touch you on an emotional level. For instance, if you were simply a household servant, preparing meals, laying out his clothes, acting as his personal secretary, etc, you might find yourself able to keep emotional distance. If you are being used in heavy S&M play and sexual play, you are bound to find yourself becoming emotionally attached.

The very first obligation a slave has is to keep him/herself healthy, mentally, emotionally and physically, to be able to serve to his/her best. Your Master needs to help you sort this out to a solution that works for both of you or it is likely to get very messy.

Never tell yourself that slaves don't deserve or shouldn't expect normal human intimacy or bonding. That's hogwash. Slaves are, ultimately, people. And all people do better when they have their emotional resevoirs filled. You need to impress on him (respectfully of course) that this is something you need to talk to him about so that you can continue to serve him in peace and joy.

allspice{T}

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 10

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/10/2006 6:00:10 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: allspicey
Never tell yourself that slaves don't deserve or shouldn't expect normal human intimacy or bonding. That's hogwash. Slaves are, ultimately, people. And all people do better when they have their emotional resevoirs filled. You need to impress on him (respectfully of course) that this is something you need to talk to him about so that you can continue to serve him in peace and joy.

allspice{T}

If you go back and read the threads about when she was first getting into this relationship, you'll see that they did discuss it, she completely understood and accepted the terms of the relationship and the limits that it entailed- in fact it's exactly what she wanted. In her relationship she accepted that this sort of romantic love connection was not sought nor desired between them.

Now, she's feeling differently. She certainly should communicate what's going on to the master so he can be informed. However, she has no reason whatsoever to expect the boundaries or flow of the relationship to change in ANY way just because her feelings have changed.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to allspicey)

Post #: 11

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/10/2006 6:11:59 AM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Has it been three months? It seems like only yesterday.

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 12

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/10/2006 6:47:28 AM

unquenchable

Posts: 155
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShivaTS

I have been living with my Master and his wife for almost 3 months now and am finding I am developing feelings for him. I want to be near him and get cuddly with him. I know this isnt appropriate as a slave to be this way. I tried talking to him about this and am he has changed the subject both times.

Actually wanting to cuddle is a normal feeling, but.......

What you wanted was to be his slave. You understood from the beginning this was all he wanted and now your feelings have changed.. (No surprise really, most of us want to be loved.)

Communication is essential and the fact that he will not discuss this with you is sad.

You have your choice now.. Stick with him and the dynamic you signed up for or leave. Cold but true and no need to sugar coat it.

un--------------

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 13

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/10/2006 7:13:18 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

There are ways to reconcile the situation in one's mind when "sticking with it." It is not as cold as it sounds.

If you can contemplate the big picture, particularly as time goes by, you can begin to see the ways he does show his care for you. It may not be as you might want, initially, but it may be in the way he can and chooses to. So he doesn't snuggle or buy you roses. So it is not the romantic boyfriend type love you at times long for. But he feeds your need to submit. He gives you a place to express yourself as you have not been able to before. He houses you and feeds you and takes care of your well being. Perhaps he develops you and teaches you to learn and know yourself. He makes decisions based on your best interest.

I confess in my newness to slavery to my Master, I at times longed for that "hand holding" kind of care. But I discovered that for me, that was just surface level desires. What I needed more than that, was to feed the slave within. To have purpose. To have a place with him. To be pushed and challenged. And now in retrospect I do see the bigger picture - the man loves me, no doubt. And every decision he has made, however agonizing or delightful for me, has been in my best interest.

You are so new in this relationship. It has barely even begun to blossom. If he is not responding to your inquiries, perhaps you should look at how you are inquiring and rephrase it. Are you asking what his views are on affection, and if he thinks such affection will find its way into your relationship? Or, like I did, are you asking, "Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy aren't you snuggling with meeeeee....." (exaggerated) and whining about it to the point where he simply wouldn't address it until I used my thoughts and words to formulate a better approach.

Something about this arrangement highly appealed to you when you stepped into it. That does not mean it is without difficulty or struggle. Think about what drew you in the first place, and be honest with yourselef about what you really wanted, and currently want, out of it. Only then can you begin to know yourself, and to resolve your dilemma.

(in reply to unquenchable)

Post #: 14

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/11/2006 10:56:16 AM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

Your situation is one I would not have a clue as to how to answer, but in the situation you describe perhaps instead of falling for your Master, you should fall of the wagon and have a stiff drink!
Keep us posted on this one, please?
Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 15

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/11/2006 6:23:36 PM

atiya

Posts: 15
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline

after reading the original post and then some of the following posts im a bit confused....it sounds like its being said that a slave should have no feelings about her owner......if that is true then i have to strongly disagree, having those feelings for our owners is what pushes us to continually better our service to him, makes us strive to find new ways to please him.
and her wanting to be held and touched .....wait thats wrong..... her need to be held and touched is not wrong.
it brings me to an analogy **if a man goes to a car lot buys a beautiful new car the salesmen make sure it has all the oils it needs and a full tank of gas and that it has been washed to look its best with top of the line tires and accessories.
the man drives it off the lot he now owns it....he never thinks to check the air in the tires or water and fluids the car needs or to even take it to get it tuned up when its time to do so. it is logical to assume that if that car isnt cared for properly then the engine will deteriorate very quikly and eventually will be of no service to the owner what so ever because it wont start or move to take him where he needs to go**
i dont know what the terms were when you went in there shiva (in some ways i can really relate to your story) in my opinion married or not it is his responsibility to nurture you.... and that includes occasional affection.....not saying he needs to profess undying love for you but cuddling you giving you a gentle touch now and then etc.... maybe you need to sit down and talk with him. let him know your feelings let him know what you feel you need.... then it is up to him to decide whether this is something he can give you or help you find one who can.......
i hope you find what your heart needs shiva and hope you let me/us know the outcome
atiya

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 16

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/12/2006 6:41:22 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: atiya
it sounds like its being said that a slave should have no feelings about her owner......if that is true then i have to strongly disagree, having those feelings for our owners is what pushes us to continually better our service to him, makes us strive to find new ways to please him.

Some DO believe that a slave should not have have an emotional relationship with the master. And for them, that's how it works best.

She accepted that this was the relationship that she wanted- a relationship that WOULD NOT entail any romantic attachments.

quote:

and her wanting to be held and touched .....wait thats wrong..... her need to be held and touched is not wrong.

No, it's not. Any concept of expecting HIM to do that or be that for her however, is wrong.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to atiya)

Post #: 17

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/12/2006 7:00:28 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

I've heard the same thing. That for some, no emotional relationship works best. If that's so, then that's the way it should be for them.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 18

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/12/2006 7:18:32 AM

BiteGirl

Posts: 293
Joined: 4/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Yeah no one could possibly have seen this one coming...

He's changed the topic, he's told you that it's not appropriate for you (even though many slaves and masters do love eachother) and you know it's not right.

Either accept it or end the relationship.

That's a hard end, I'd say. But yeah, You have to be strong in this sitch.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 19

RE: Falling for my Master - 5/12/2006 9:45:23 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

How can you serve someone on a regular or perminant basis and remain completely unemotional?? If you submit to someone is there not going to be an attachment of some kind no matter what?

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to BiteGirl)

Post #: 20

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