RE: What answer does a Dom expect?

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Arturas -> RE: What answer does a Dom expect? (4/27/2011 8:14:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirssubk2008 quote: I do, however, require them to "thank me" no matter what because I know they enjoy it. Thank you Arturas. I am a bit confused (doesn't take much to confuse me sometimes [:)]). What exactly are you referring to when you say "I know they enjoy it"? Because she enjoys it even when bound and wearing my name written in slowly cooling wax on her fresh marks while she flies into subspace. Because she also enjoys the attentions of her Dom as I am the ying to her yang, equal but not the same, fitting together as opposites attract by a power we cannot explain and just accept. Because she is also not in this just for me and she is very well aware that it's hard, very hard work, to be a Dom.

DomGuybdsm -> RE: What answer does a Dom expect? (4/27/2011 9:11:39 AM)
"This question is based on a scenerio (sic) when you and your sub are really getting into 'it'. You ask your sub if he/she likes what's being done. Do you expect an honest answer or do you expect them to just say 'yes' because it pleases you? What if they remain silent?" I expect an honest answer unless we have established the scene as one in which something different is required. If they remain silent I wait or prompt an answer by other means. "How about a little different angle: you tell your sub to say they like it. Do you expect them to say 'yes' because you demand it, do you want an honest answer, or does silence from your partner mean anything?" If the scene has been set up in such a manner, why would they deviate from it?

sirssubk2008 -> RE: What answer does a Dom expect? (4/27/2011 3:10:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: ORIGINAL: sirssubk2008 quote: I do, however, require them to "thank me" no matter what because I know they enjoy it. Thank you Arturas. I am a bit confused (doesn't take much to confuse me sometimes [:)]). What exactly are you referring to when you say "I know they enjoy it"? Because she enjoys it even when bound and wearing my name written in slowly cooling wax on her fresh marks while she flies into subspace. Because she also enjoys the attentions of her Dom as I am the ying to her yang, equal but not the same, fitting together as opposites attract by a power we cannot explain and just accept. Because she is also not in this just for me and she is very well aware that it's hard, very hard work, to be a Dom. Confusion gone, thank you Arturas! But did you have to mention wax? [sm=yahoo.gif]

sirssubk2008 -> RE: What answer does a Dom expect? (4/27/2011 3:13:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DomGuybdsm "This question is based on a scenerio (sic) when you and your sub are really getting into 'it'. You ask your sub if he/she likes what's being done. Do you expect an honest answer or do you expect them to just say 'yes' because it pleases you? What if they remain silent?" I expect an honest answer unless we have established the scene as one in which something different is required. If they remain silent I wait or prompt an answer by other means. "How about a little different angle: you tell your sub to say they like it. Do you expect them to say 'yes' because you demand it, do you want an honest answer, or does silence from your partner mean anything?" If the scene has been set up in such a manner, why would they deviate from it? Wondered if anyone would catch that! I just didn't feel like editing it [:D] Thank you DomGuy.

hejira92 -> RE: What answer does a Dom expect? (4/27/2011 4:24:00 PM)
We've been in this scenario- playing deeply -especially with pain- and He'll ask "Are you enjoying yourself?" When He KNOWS I dislike certain types of pain. I think He asks because it adds an element of mindfuck. He knows I'd never lie to Him, but I cannot readily answer honestly because I may not only not be thinking clearly, but I am totally conflicted between the so-not-enjoying the sensation He is giving me and so-much-enjoying the pleasure I know the inflicting on me is giving HIM. (sounds convoluted, but makes sense). You see, no matter how awful what's actually happening to me is, part of me enjoys it because my purpose is to amuse, entertain, arouse and please HIM. So, my sensations actually come in second when I see the look on His face during the doing. And I can't win either way I answer the question. If I say yes, then He'll give me more and if I say no, He'll tell me "So?" But, either way, He enjoys it, so the question really is moot.

lovelyesme -> RE: What answer does a Dom expect? (4/27/2011 4:38:48 PM)
The question always jars me-because no matter how much i *hate* whatever he is doing, i *love that he's doing it,* so usually i stutter, and cry and get a slap telling me to speak clearly.sigh. life can be sooo hard. esme

coookie -> RE: What answer does a Dom expect? (4/27/2011 5:26:40 PM)
lol i had no real answer to this so i asked him. He replied "either way doesn't really matter" lol. He takes what he wants at the time and i find that very arousing. Afterwards if i were to come to him and say "hey I didn't really like X" he would listen to me though it would not mean he would stop X because of it.

ranja -> RE: What answer does a Dom expect? (4/28/2011 3:33:48 AM)
i can relate to the last three replies and sometimes we play together but we are most into our own thing... while i enjoy Him handling me i might be fantasising that i am being corrupted and forced... if He were to ask me if i liked it all of the sudden it would totally throw me out of my fantasy... i would have no clue how to answer Edit: He knows me... He knows how confused i get about things

DesFIP -> RE: What answer does a Dom expect? (4/28/2011 4:25:31 AM)
At times when I can think clearly, I've looked him in the eye and asked if there's a good answer to this. It makes him laugh but also communicates my feelings.

AneNoz -> RE: What answer does a Dom expect? (4/28/2011 8:21:41 AM)
The truth. Always the truth. To speak an untruth is to harm yourself and the one you deceive. In my home, only truth is permitted. Be at peace Aneka

sirssubk2008 -> RE: What answer does a Dom expect? (4/28/2011 10:32:28 AM)
Thank you everyone! I like this response Des "At times when I can think clearly, I've looked him in the eye and asked if there's a good answer to this. It makes him laugh but also communicates my feelings."

MyLady2k -> RE: What answer does a Dom expect? (5/1/2011 3:45:39 PM)
I am a Femme Domme, in any intimate relationship I expect all activities to be consentual. If I tell my sub that I am going to stick something up his ass, I expect him to reply. Either with "My Lady, I respectfully decline the opportunity to pleasure you that way." or, "Yes, My Lady!". That is if we have not already discussed this type of activity. Communication is always important! Excitement, enrichment, threshold play all types of relationships must have knowledge of the situation. Even a one nighter should have established bounderies. From anything goes too, I'm new to this be gentle. lol A dishonest person will not respect the bounderies even if made aware of them. So, be careful. As a Domme I have been given many oppertunities to critically wound a person in the heat of the moment. Even the Domme can be harmed, and I personally feel that I have thresholds. Thresholds that are more psychological and emotional than physical. A sub/slave that craves endorphyns or adrenalin will top from the bottom if they are allowed, with disatrous results. I hope this helps. MyLady2k

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