NikkiAnn
Posts: 64
Joined: 5/7/2006
From: Redford, MI (near Detroit)
Status: offline
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Dear Mistresses,
I am very new to this. For many years I have dealt with issues regarding transsexualism. I believe heart and soul that I have the wrong body for my brain. In the last two years I have been able to accept that I am a MTF TS and have been taking small steps towards transition. For many years I have believed myself to be submissive. I admit I had many fantasies of being forced into crossdressing or being changed into a woman. I now realize I wanted to be forced into doing something I did'n have the courage to do myself. I now believe that this is the reason there are so many fantasy stories written about this subject. There are many TS individuals who are unable or lack the courage to do what in their hearts what they know they must. For years I felt I was a submissive. I thought this was just another fantasy. After starting on my transition my personality has been changing with it. My feelings of being submissive have only become stronger. I have always felt my the need to please my partner and I get my pleasure from pleasing others. I have always wanted to relinquish control of my life and completely dedicate and give myself to another.
I have recently been able to over come my shyness and attended a Wicked Detroit party. The people there were very friendly and soon I was in a discussion with a beautiful lady. She is Domme, lives near me, and is close to my age. She found out it was my first time to an event and that I was hesitant to be punished. I was always a coward about pain. She offered to show me what punishment was about. I must have been ready to find out, because I followed her up on the stage, undressed, and tied to an X-frame. The she blindfolded me and I was wondering what I had gotten myself into. She proceeded to give me the best experience I ever had in my life. She used a combination of pain and pleasure along with little periods where should would just stop and I wouldn't know what was going to happen next. I never knew pain and pleasure could be mixed until you didn't know the difference. It was truly an awesome experience. I want to give myself totally to this woman. I have not had any experience in this at all. I am afraid to tell her how I feel. I don't want to frighten her away, I believe I have found something so very special and I don't want to jinx it. Here is my question. How do I approach her and tell her how I feel and that I would love to explore the possibility of a relationship? What can I do if she isn't receptive to this? I have read many posts in the femdomme section here and I have seen what Femdommes think is important in a relationship with a sub. I believe I have many of the qualities that would make me a good submissive and have much to offer in a relationship of this type. Although that would be up to a Femdomme to decide for herself. Another thing is my being TS, would or could a Femdomme be interested in a person like myself? I don't believe in anything goes, there I many things I could not do that are morally or legally wrong. I also believe that there has to be good communication for a relationship to survive. There are many parts of my life I would give total control but ist isn't reasonable or really possible to give up total control.
Respectfully and Submissively Yours,
Nikki Ann
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A bit about my history and some questions - 
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