RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive?

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 6:51:55 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
...if he's a Dom, she'll naturally respond to him.

And if she doesn't, then she's unnatural? You seem to have this very outdated idea of 'Me Tarzan, you Jane'. Modern interactions between men and women are very different, to say the least.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
Most normal, healthy hetero women respond to dominant men. Period.

Dominant and equality minded women are NOT abnormal and unhealthy. What a fine example of sexism and bigotry within the BDSM scene! Most women want relationships based on equality these days. BDSM is a subculture involving a minority of people, and M/f relationships are a subset of that subculture involving an even smaller minority of people. You seem to be living in some fantasy world where you are unable to differentiate between the desires of most women, and the minority sexuality of submissive women within BDSM.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
...you don't "find out" if a woman wants to 'submit to you' by asking. How fucking lame.

I see, so you are recommending that the OP attempt to dominate women that a) don't identify as submissive and b) without asking for their consent? I think your opinion of women is massively disrespectful and bordering on the immoral. If you don't respect women enough to ask them if they want to submit to you, then are you respectful enough to ask them what their limits are, or any other of the necessary information for a Safe, Sane and Consensual relationship, or is that so 'fucking lame' too?

So many red flags, so little time. Thank god neither me nor my Owner followed any of this advice, cause he'd be in jail, and I'd still be single. To the OP, please, please ignore everything you are being told here, this is just setting you up to be one of those women-hating 'uber Doms' that any sub with a shred of common sense stays well away from. Women are human beings with their own desires and opinions. The best Doms I have met are totally respectful of women, and this leads them to have healthy, satisfying, consensual relationships based on trust and mutual respect. Please do not follow the awful example you are being given here!

owned xxx

(in reply to Awareness)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 7:02:42 AM

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

but I've found that a sub who always has to be compliant and obedient is merely playing a role; dig deep enough and you unleash a fountain of anger and resentment (towards the dom.)

really? I'm glad that's not our experience.

playing a role? Hardly. In our relationship and my relationship with anyone for that matter, I'm obedient and compliant because I absolutely hate challenges. I absolutely hate chaos or anger or trouble of any kind at all. Anytime there's conflict in my life or even around me I'm the first to look for a hole to duck into so I can disappear.

No anger and resentment here. Instead I thrive on obedience and compliance. The whole idea of not being those just makes me shudder with fear.

Hey, I am obedient and compliant in my relationship with my dom as well. And I THRIVE on confrontation and conflict. He very nicely and politely deflects that right back with a smile. We very rarely argue about anything.

As for my comment above, I was speaking specifically to that particular dynamic, the super duper dom and the sub who is compliant and obedient to everyone, all the time. I have seen the sub's personality become so consumed by the dominant, I fear it will disappear entirely. I have also seen it erupt in uncontrollable anger at the dominant.

But again, just my observations.

_____________________________

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 7:16:47 AM

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

If she wants to drive the car, she most likely isn't....:-)

maybe she is just the better driver.

Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to Kana)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 7:21:34 AM

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

If she wants to drive the car, she most likely isn't....:-)

maybe she is just the better driver.

Kali

Maybe the dominant likes to be chauffeured.

_____________________________

(in reply to Kalista07)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 7:27:37 AM

Posts: 37
Joined: 11/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

If she wants to drive the car, she most likely isn't....:-)

maybe she is just the better driver.

Kali

Maybe the dominant likes to be chauffeured.

For example YOUR Dominant...

_____________________________

Chatte Wrangler Extraordinaire

50% Humbler than the Other Leading Brands!

Bearer of the "Heather Seal of Trustiness"

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 7:39:24 AM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

That depends on what you mean by "submissive".

If you're talking "sexually submissive", then there won't be any signs unless you are in a sexual situation.
If you're talking "submits only to one" then unless you're that one, the answer is "no".
If you're talking "generally submissive" then see if generally tends to let you guide the show, she's submissive.

Or, you could just ask.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to ramzaruglia)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 7:43:27 AM

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Joined: 7/1/2007
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edited to a weee bit of hyper-sensitivity

Kali

< Message edited by Kalista07 -- 5/8/2011 7:50:16 AM >

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to LordOdhinn)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 7:47:43 AM

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

It was directed at me, Kali. LO is my dom and I'm his chauffeur (among other things).

_____________________________

(in reply to Kalista07)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 7:52:17 AM

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

Damns!! Perhaps I need to hurry up and get this divorce over with so I can stop taking everything so personally.

My apologies.

Thanks for the clarification.

Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 7:56:41 AM

Posts: 37
Joined: 11/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Damns!! Perhaps I need to hurry up and get this divorce over with so I can stop taking everything so personally.

My apologies.

Thanks for the clarification.

Kali

Not a problem! :) That's what I get for being unclear.

_____________________________

Chatte Wrangler Extraordinaire

50% Humbler than the Other Leading Brands!

Bearer of the "Heather Seal of Trustiness"

(in reply to Kalista07)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 8:16:29 AM

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

You can look for general personality traits and that will help- to a certain point. Many submissive women like to please or defer to others. Then there are always those people who defy stereotypes. I've heard some men say that they can tell if a female is submissive, and some say that it's very hard to tell. Ah, and one pitfall is to look for personality outside of cultural upbringing and/or having good manners- the cultural and manners things can mask true personality at times especially if you only know someone casually.

Really a relationship is what happens between two people. Look for someone whose personality meshes well with your own, and whose company you enjoy. At least you'll enjoy the ride till you get to the part where you can ask something personal. If you're into each other there's always the chance that she'll be open to exploring things with you.

Outside of taking a chance on every woman you meet, you could look on places like this where people declare openly what their sexual orientation is- it tends to simplify matters but also cuts way down on the pool of available women too.

(in reply to ramzaruglia)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 8:49:58 AM

NiceGuyNihilist

Posts: 194
Joined: 3/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
...if he's a Dom, she'll naturally respond to him.

And if she doesn't, then she's unnatural? You seem to have this very outdated idea of 'Me Tarzan, you Jane'. Modern interactions between men and women are very different, to say the least.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
Most normal, healthy hetero women respond to dominant men. Period.

Dominant and equality minded women are NOT abnormal and unhealthy. What a fine example of sexism and bigotry within the BDSM scene! Most women want relationships based on equality these days. BDSM is a subculture involving a minority of people, and M/f relationships are a subset of that subculture involving an even smaller minority of people. You seem to be living in some fantasy world where you are unable to differentiate between the desires of most women, and the minority sexuality of submissive women within BDSM.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
...you don't "find out" if a woman wants to 'submit to you' by asking. How fucking lame.

I see, so you are recommending that the OP attempt to dominate women that a) don't identify as submissive and b) without asking for their consent? I think your opinion of women is massively disrespectful and bordering on the immoral. If you don't respect women enough to ask them if they want to submit to you, then are you respectful enough to ask them what their limits are, or any other of the necessary information for a Safe, Sane and Consensual relationship, or is that so 'fucking lame' too?

So many red flags, so little time. Thank god neither me nor my Owner followed any of this advice, cause he'd be in jail, and I'd still be single. To the OP, please, please ignore everything you are being told here, this is just setting you up to be one of those women-hating 'uber Doms' that any sub with a shred of common sense stays well away from. Women are human beings with their own desires and opinions. The best Doms I have met are totally respectful of women, and this leads them to have healthy, satisfying, consensual relationships based on trust and mutual respect. Please do not follow the awful example you are being given here!

owned xxx

Awareness didn't advise the guy to rape her. There are relatively moral ways to test the waters without ever asking a woman whether she might possibly, if it's okay with you sweetie, maybe like to be dominated someday. Would you be turned on by such timidity?

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 9:08:04 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

~FR~

check the bottom of her foot for a tattoo that says USDA Prime Sub.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 9:17:37 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist
There are relatively moral ways to test the waters without ever asking a woman whether she might possibly, if it's okay with you sweetie, maybe like to be dominated someday. Would you be turned on by such timidity?

I don't see assertiveness and being direct as 'timidity'. I would question why you do? I see it as a sign of maturity and respect, and yes it does turn me on.

owned xxx

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 9:26:27 AM

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ramzaruglia

I'm really not good at socializing.

Well, if you're not good at socializing, then you probably don't have the dominant personality needed to get her to submit in the first place. I'm just sayin'.......

(in reply to ramzaruglia)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 9:27:34 AM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

Doesn't mean I'm not submissive, just that I'm not submissive to you.

Keep repeating that Dorothy. One day you'll make it home.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 9:28:52 AM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

You get your cues from a sub's eyes - they're different to those of some feminist nazi; VERY different...!

Isn't that the truth.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 9:38:53 AM

Posts: 14
Joined: 4/14/2011
Status: offline

quote:

Shhh. Men talking.

tsk, tsk! I've told you to mind your manners in front of your betters. Go stand in the corner and be a good little boy while the ladies and I are talking.

<How many throws does it take to hit me right in the eye?>

_____________________________

Skarie

I wonder, when I get into the navy, will I have a woman in every port too?

(in reply to Awareness)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 10:41:28 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

You get your cues from a sub's eyes - they're different to those of some feminist nazi; VERY different...!

Isn't that the truth.

Apart from those of us who are both feminist and submissive.

*goes to check the mirror to see if one eye is different to the other...*

owned xxx

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 10:49:57 AM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh
Apart from those of us who are both feminist and submissive.

That's not exactly fair. Carol and I also both identify as feminists. But we're 2nd wave feminists and for us it's about "choice". The whole 3rd wave, "patriarchy" thing is a whole different game. I think the phrase "feminazi" is pretty accurate for at least some portion of modern (3rd wave) feminists.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

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