RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone without them knowing it?

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 1:45:22 PM

NocturnalStalker

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quote:

I think most people would be more disturbed if they were asked "Mind if I fantasize about you tonight while I masturbate?"

You'd blush, don't lie.

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 1:46:03 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Do you believe you need to get consent from someone before you take sexual gratification on their behalf, even if they are totally unaware of it?

Akasha

This is the basis for my answer. I'm not going to declare that I find myself absentmindedly touching myself while I'm chatting, or listening. I find the whole notion ridiculous.

If it's unethical, then it's MY private unethical moment and I'm not inclined to share it and make someone else possibly be embarrassed or feel insulted.

If it's unethical, then I'd think it'd be even MORE unethical to insist someone else hear the details.

Some moments simply don't need over-thinking...life is far too short and filled with enough awkward situations without creating them by having over-zealous *ethics*.

Sometimes it's shrewd to keep your ethics to yourself.....lol

agirl

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 1:47:49 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

To me, it's immoral. In fact, during the Day of Atonement, this is one of the things we confess to.
From the Al Cheyt Reconstructionist Version used at my temple: "For the wrong we did before You by using sex exploitatively".

If the person knew about it and found it wrong, then it's wrong. It's like cheating, you don't define it. The person who feels that you cheated on them gets to define it.

uh this makes no sense. If the other persons thinks it's "wrong" and you think it's "OK" cuz the other person "thinks it's wrong" it's "wrong"??? Try that defense in court and get back to me....

BadOne

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 1:57:33 PM

littlewonder

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i'll get back to you as soon as i call Brad Pitt

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 1:58:33 PM

cactustree

Posts: 22
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

having thought about this a bit i've come to the conclusion that i've never mentally undressed anyone. if a person is wearing good clothes that suit them i rather like them as they are until i can really get their kit off. of course anyone who i'd want to really be thinking of as naked i'll have already seen anyway. the thing is is that people don't always look as good as you may imagine when they are naked so i'd hate to be disappointed. i've never been one for the 'famous person' fantacy either, i may think someone is good looking but i'm not about to start imagining myself having sex with them.

as for anything else, well i couldn't play with myself just listening to a voice, i have to have a visual and something going on already otherwise my body just doesn't tick. i find myself often fiddling when talking with my plaything as he has the most sexy voice, but then as i'm already fucking him i guess that doesn't count. sometimes i tell him, sometimes i don't. in fact if we talk for long enough it's pretty much a given that i will be doing at some point.

as for ethical, wanking over someone in private it that floats your boat, yeah why not. doing it while talking to them on the phone without their knowledge/permission........probably not.

needles

Full of doo doo. I don't believe you in the slightest...It smacks of hypocrisy. Why are you dressed provocatively in your picture if you feel this way?

I don't think about boning some hot chick/actress but I don't really think of them as being a complete and whole person either.

I do wonder what they would look like naked and so do you.

Because I know these things.

You want me, don't you?

cactus

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:02:55 PM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

having thought about this a bit i've come to the conclusion that i've never mentally undressed anyone. if a person is wearing good clothes that suit them i rather like them as they are until i can really get their kit off. of course anyone who i'd want to really be thinking of as naked i'll have already seen anyway. the thing is is that people don't always look as good as you may imagine when they are naked so i'd hate to be disappointed. i've never been one for the 'famous person' fantacy either, i may think someone is good looking but i'm not about to start imagining myself having sex with them.

as for anything else, well i couldn't play with myself just listening to a voice, i have to have a visual and something going on already otherwise my body just doesn't tick. i find myself often fiddling when talking with my plaything as he has the most sexy voice, but then as i'm already fucking him i guess that doesn't count. sometimes i tell him, sometimes i don't. in fact if we talk for long enough it's pretty much a given that i will be doing at some point.

as for ethical, wanking over someone in private it that floats your boat, yeah why not. doing it while talking to them on the phone without their knowledge/permission........probably not.

needles

Full of doo doo. I don't believe you in the slightest...It smacks of hypocrisy. Why are you dressed provocatively in your picture if you feel this way?

I don't think about boning some hot chick/actress but I don't really think of them as being a complete and whole person either.

I do wonder what they would look like naked and so do you.

Because I know these things.

you are applying your own thoughts to me. big mistake. i do not look at someone and wonder what they look like naked at all. i'm into guys, what's to wonder at? so i see a slim tall guy, without clothes on i know he's slim and tall. the only thing i don't know is the size of his cock with a hardon, unless of course he's dressed in a manner to show it. quite frankly i'm not interested enough to think about it.

i see absolutely no point in thinking about a person i'm never going to meet in person and get with. that would just be me using my imagination with their face and that doesn't work for me. like porn doesn't work for me just watching the people and the act on the screen. i'm thinking about me being with who i'm seeing in person and the acts on the screen.

i don't see how what i've said is at all hypocrisy. things like i've stated don't work for me that way. i know myself enough to know that, i've had plenty of practice playing over the years to know what works and what doesn't.

you only know you, you have no clue about me at all. you can wonder what people look like naked all you like. i just don't. as for my avatar. it's there because for alot of years i hated the way i looked. i hated myself in every photo and would avoid being caught at all costs if i could. these days due to a certain person i feel a little differently. i'm quite happy with any photo i choose to put online. any person who wants to think of me naked can think away, but they may get it totally wrong. i don't actually see what my photo has to do with what i've said. i work the way i do, and it's possibly different to every other person on the site. i don't care, i like being different.

there is only one person on this site who knows what i look like naked

needles

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Post #: 66

RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:02:58 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

To me, it's immoral. In fact, during the Day of Atonement, this is one of the things we confess to.
From the Al Cheyt Reconstructionist Version used at my temple: "For the wrong we did before You by using sex exploitatively".

If the person knew about it and found it wrong, then it's wrong. It's like cheating, you don't define it. The person who feels that you cheated on them gets to define it.

Well, frankly, someone can define whatever they like to the nth degree, but it's just their definition. It wouldn't mean that YOUR idea of whether YOU cheated is any less valid.

If someone found out and DECIDED that they thought it was wrong, for them, then you simply have two people with differing ideas of what is *right* and *wrong*, what is cheating and what isn't.

Bear in mind that some people's idea of *cheating* incorporates who and what you think about when you're having a *private* moment or two.

agirl

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:05:32 PM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cactustree

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

having thought about this a bit i've come to the conclusion that i've never mentally undressed anyone. if a person is wearing good clothes that suit them i rather like them as they are until i can really get their kit off. of course anyone who i'd want to really be thinking of as naked i'll have already seen anyway. the thing is is that people don't always look as good as you may imagine when they are naked so i'd hate to be disappointed. i've never been one for the 'famous person' fantacy either, i may think someone is good looking but i'm not about to start imagining myself having sex with them.

as for anything else, well i couldn't play with myself just listening to a voice, i have to have a visual and something going on already otherwise my body just doesn't tick. i find myself often fiddling when talking with my plaything as he has the most sexy voice, but then as i'm already fucking him i guess that doesn't count. sometimes i tell him, sometimes i don't. in fact if we talk for long enough it's pretty much a given that i will be doing at some point.

as for ethical, wanking over someone in private it that floats your boat, yeah why not. doing it while talking to them on the phone without their knowledge/permission........probably not.

needles

Full of doo doo. I don't believe you in the slightest...It smacks of hypocrisy. Why are you dressed provocatively in your picture if you feel this way?

I don't think about boning some hot chick/actress but I don't really think of them as being a complete and whole person either.

I do wonder what they would look like naked and so do you.

Because I know these things.

You want me, don't you?

cactus

always

needles

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:09:23 PM

cactustree

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maybe DomiGuy could join us... we know things

cactus

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:12:15 PM

hematitan

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I can't imagine secretly masturbating while carrying on an average phone conversation with someone. I mean, I've never tried it, but it just seems like it would be hard not to get distracted (either from the conversation or the masturbation). I don't know if I'd call it unethical or not, but it seems kind of creepy to me.

As for just fantasizing about people, I don't think there's anything inherently unethical about that. I think there can be situations where it could be disrespectful, like if you're so preoccupied with your fantasies that you're unable to treat the person like an actual person, but I think that's a deeper issue than just being attracted to someone, and unethical implies there's something wrong or harmful about fantasizing and I don't think that's the case. I think it's natural and usually pretty harmless. I also think it's generally better to keep it to yourself unless you're with the person. People don't always need to know you're attracted to them and like to fantasize about them.

What I think is unethical is taking advantage of or violating a person's trust. For example, I've been in situations where I've been attracted to friends, but they haven't realized it. They may have been comfortable doing some things, such as getting dressed while I was in the room, that they may not have been comfortable with if they'd known how I felt. Even though I'm not the type of person to take advantage of that, I still felt it was more ethical to avoid putting us in situations like that to begin with.

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:14:00 PM

willbeurdaddy

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OMG, I have to send Jennifer Connelly an apology I guess.

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:15:17 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

having thought about this a bit i've come to the conclusion that i've never mentally undressed anyone. if a person is wearing good clothes that suit them i rather like them as they are until i can really get their kit off. of course anyone who i'd want to really be thinking of as naked i'll have already seen anyway. the thing is is that people don't always look as good as you may imagine when they are naked so i'd hate to be disappointed. i've never been one for the 'famous person' fantacy either, i may think someone is good looking but i'm not about to start imagining myself having sex with them.

as for anything else, well i couldn't play with myself just listening to a voice, i have to have a visual and something going on already otherwise my body just doesn't tick. i find myself often fiddling when talking with my plaything as he has the most sexy voice, but then as i'm already fucking him i guess that doesn't count. sometimes i tell him, sometimes i don't. in fact if we talk for long enough it's pretty much a given that i will be doing at some point.

as for ethical, wanking over someone in private it that floats your boat, yeah why not. doing it while talking to them on the phone without their knowledge/permission........probably not.

needles

Full of doo doo. I don't believe you in the slightest...It smacks of hypocrisy. Why are you dressed provocatively in your picture if you feel this way?

I don't think about boning some hot chick/actress but I don't really think of them as being a complete and whole person either.

I do wonder what they would look like naked and so do you.

Because I know these things.

you are applying your own thoughts to me.

needles you are so missing the point. If what your saying is true... that you dont even consider it. Why then are you dressed like a wanton slut in your profile. What I think domi is saying is your "words don't match your actions" BTW I happen to agree with.

BadOne

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:17:22 PM

cactustree

Posts: 22
Joined: 5/4/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

having thought about this a bit i've come to the conclusion that i've never mentally undressed anyone. if a person is wearing good clothes that suit them i rather like them as they are until i can really get their kit off. of course anyone who i'd want to really be thinking of as naked i'll have already seen anyway. the thing is is that people don't always look as good as you may imagine when they are naked so i'd hate to be disappointed. i've never been one for the 'famous person' fantacy either, i may think someone is good looking but i'm not about to start imagining myself having sex with them.

as for anything else, well i couldn't play with myself just listening to a voice, i have to have a visual and something going on already otherwise my body just doesn't tick. i find myself often fiddling when talking with my plaything as he has the most sexy voice, but then as i'm already fucking him i guess that doesn't count. sometimes i tell him, sometimes i don't. in fact if we talk for long enough it's pretty much a given that i will be doing at some point.

as for ethical, wanking over someone in private it that floats your boat, yeah why not. doing it while talking to them on the phone without their knowledge/permission........probably not.

needles

Full of doo doo. I don't believe you in the slightest...It smacks of hypocrisy. Why are you dressed provocatively in your picture if you feel this way?

I don't think about boning some hot chick/actress but I don't really think of them as being a complete and whole person either.

I do wonder what they would look like naked and so do you.

Because I know these things.

you are applying your own thoughts to me.

needles you are so missing the point. If what your saying is true... that you dont even consider it. Why then are you dressed like a wanton slut in your profile. What I think domi is saying is your "words don't match your actions" BTW I happen to agree with.

BadOne

ahem.

the thread is about Undressing Other People I believe?

cactus

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:20:03 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

quote:

I think most people would be more disturbed if they were asked "Mind if I fantasize about you tonight while I masturbate?"

You'd blush, don't lie.

You don't know me very well, I'd possibly would say something along the lines of "As long as you can find your penis on your own, thanks for sharing, can I go and puke now?"

I managed to talk myself into all sorts of trouble and out of it. Somebody got offended the other day, pushed their toddler in front of my dogs (thought that was a fairly irresponsible move for a parent) with "Say hello to the doggies..." and after the kid was hanging from the neck of one of the dogs (quite big Dobies) thought it was prudent to ask "Do the dogs like children?" I told her that I guess so, but so far we only feed them regular dog food. She didn't find that funny, so I told her that I don't find it funny that she is so courageous with the health of her child, she had no idea how the dogs would react with kids, though mine happen to like kids (and not as snacks) not every dog does take to being hugged by a toddler...

I can be a bit of a mouthy bitch...

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:22:48 PM

cactustree

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

not every dog does take to being hugged by a toddler...

me niether.

But were the dogs naked?

cactus

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:24:56 PM

willbeurdaddy

Posts: 11894
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

quote:

I think most people would be more disturbed if they were asked "Mind if I fantasize about you tonight while I masturbate?"

You'd blush, don't lie.

You don't know me very well, I'd possibly would say something along the lines of "As long as you can find your penis on your own, thanks for sharing, can I go and puke now?"

I managed to talk myself into all sorts of trouble and out of it. Somebody got offended the other day, pushed their toddler in front of my dogs (thought that was a fairly irresponsible move for a parent) with "Say hello to the doggies..." and after the kid was hanging from the neck of one of the dogs (quite big Dobies) thought it was prudent to ask "Do the dogs like children?" I told her that I guess so, but so far we only feed them regular dog food. She didn't find that funny, so I told her that I don't find it funny that she is so courageous with the health of her child, she had no idea how the dogs would react with kids, though mine happen to like kids (and not as snacks) not every dog does take to being hugged by a toddler...

I can be a bit of a mouthy bitch...

While she certainly shouldn't have assumed that you would be a responsible dog owner, if you had any doubt about how the dog would react to being confronted by a child it is your responsbility to keep it muzzled.

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:25:14 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cactustree

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

not every dog does take to being hugged by a toddler...

me niether.

But were the dogs naked?

cactus

They were, far too warm for them to wear their coats ;) That doesn't mean my dogs are flashers. Mind you I possibly would get offended if somebody would masturbate while thinking of them, on the other hand, they have big teeth and some people are into risky CBT...

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:26:18 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: willbeurdaddy

While she certainly shouldn't have assumed that you would be a responsible dog owner, if you had any doubt about how the dog would react to being confronted by a child it is your responsibility to keep it muzzled.

Or the woman should keep her children on a leash.

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:28:17 PM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

having thought about this a bit i've come to the conclusion that i've never mentally undressed anyone. if a person is wearing good clothes that suit them i rather like them as they are until i can really get their kit off. of course anyone who i'd want to really be thinking of as naked i'll have already seen anyway. the thing is is that people don't always look as good as you may imagine when they are naked so i'd hate to be disappointed. i've never been one for the 'famous person' fantacy either, i may think someone is good looking but i'm not about to start imagining myself having sex with them.

as for anything else, well i couldn't play with myself just listening to a voice, i have to have a visual and something going on already otherwise my body just doesn't tick. i find myself often fiddling when talking with my plaything as he has the most sexy voice, but then as i'm already fucking him i guess that doesn't count. sometimes i tell him, sometimes i don't. in fact if we talk for long enough it's pretty much a given that i will be doing at some point.

as for ethical, wanking over someone in private it that floats your boat, yeah why not. doing it while talking to them on the phone without their knowledge/permission........probably not.

needles

Full of doo doo. I don't believe you in the slightest...It smacks of hypocrisy. Why are you dressed provocatively in your picture if you feel this way?

I don't think about boning some hot chick/actress but I don't really think of them as being a complete and whole person either.

I do wonder what they would look like naked and so do you.

Because I know these things.

you are applying your own thoughts to me.

needles you are so missing the point. If what your saying is true... that you dont even consider it. Why then are you dressed like a wanton slut in your profile. What I think domi is saying is your "words don't match your actions" BTW I happen to agree with.

BadOne

my picture has nothing to do with whether I mentally undress other people. i have no need to. if i'm interested enough in a person that i would like to see them naked then why the hell would i think about it and possibly be disappointed, have expectations above maybe what they are? if i'm not interested in them enough that i'd want to see them naked then what would be the point in thinking about it? my pictures were taken for the guy i'm seeing and sent to him before ever being used online. i have no problem with anyone else and how their minds work for them. but it's just not the way i work. there is not one person on this site or any other that i've wondered 'ooooo what will they look like naked? let's mentally undress them' there is no point for me because i am not interested. if i were i wouldn't bother imagining, i'd just ask for a naked pic. simple really.

what others should understand is that just because you work a certain way doesn't mean everyone is the same. also you can't expect to understand where everyone else is coming from and why they work differently. they just do and it doesn't mean they are being dishonest or wrong. i can't say it any other way. it's how i work whether you get it or not.

needles

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RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/17/2011 2:30:51 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: willbeurdaddy

While she certainly shouldn't have assumed that you would be a responsible dog owner, if you had any doubt about how the dog would react to being confronted by a child it is your responsbility to keep it muzzled.

Sorry, but a responsible dog owner doesn't have to be prepared for an irresponsible cow to push her child at the dogs, a child who hasn't even learned to walk securely (as I said, a toddler), even a placid dog might take this as an attack, she was quite lucky that they are used to kids. I don't think every dog should be muzzled because some stupid bint will push the child towards it without asking first if they are friendly. What if the dogs never would have shown aggression but also weren't used to children and would have gotten spooked? Some people shouldn't have children...

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