Mercnbeth
Posts: 11766
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So often newcomers (or newbies) to this lifestyle are confused by the words that are used to describe and define the various aspects of BDSM, D/s and M/s relationships. Then they are further confused by people who claim to have experience giving them a definition and then telling them that it is flexible and can mean whatever the user wants it to mean. This slave knows, because she is a new-comer to this life and was very confused in the beginning with the variety of “definitions” people have for the same words. Fortunately, Master has a lot of experience to learn from and also, He encouraged His slave to attend local group functions, do research and interact with groups on the internet as well. Unfortunately, there are quite a few with knowledge of these terms that use them to describe their relationships who feel offended or personally attacked whenever a definition is offered that conflicts with their own, or a question is asked about why they use the terms they do to describe themselves or their relationship. Obviously, the terminology of things became even more important when people began using computers to be “online negotiators” in conducting BDSM practices, M/s and D/s relationships and using words(and, of course webcams as time progressed) as the means of conducting their activities. BDSM “jargon” is easy enough to throw around with little actual physical knowledge of the acts or the relationship dynamics themselves. That can be potentially dangerous and/or harmful to a newbie. This slave has noticed on several message boards that it has become common for people to justify any statement or reply to a question they make simply by asserting that it is their opinion, offering no basis or foundation for their statement, as if there is no basic truth to any definition. Certain people tend to regard a request for “definitions” as some sort of attempt to invalidate the person being asking for them. For example, this slave could say “I am a Master of a slave who permits me to tie her up only on Friday nights and flog her until she yells her safeword at which time I am expected to stop. Every other aspect of our lives could be indentical to that of a vanilla relationship, but just because we take what we want from this lifestyle of ideas and practices and apply it to our vanilla lives and call it whatever we want because it works for us, does not mean that, in truth, we have the first clue to the dynamics of a Master/slave relationship. if this slave wants, she can declare that she is gay and participate in gay chat rooms and groups, giving advice and “opinions” about this slave’s gay lifestyle, even go out to gay bars and community events and try to make friends there, amongst my “peers”, but the homosexual community there aren’t going to think much of this slave’s declaration of homosexuality or dedication to the community if this slave is not in any way, nor has been, nor ever intends to be attracted to the same sex as myself. We could have discussions about defining “gay” and this slave could say that in this slave’s opinion, gay means attracted to the opposite sex, that this slave could care less if anyone agreed with this slave or not. This slave could go on a one-woman crusade to change every meaning in the English dictionary so that all words would forever from this point forward mean only what the person speaking them considers them to mean, regardless of the definitions that are accepted by people speaking the same language, which would then return our conversations to a litany of grunts and noises that no one else understands but ourselves.
sincerely,
beth
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I'm still amazed by the whole Gor triad thing. 
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