RE: Life Without TV?

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littleone35 -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/23/2011 10:05:49 AM)
Tv is not that important to me, that being said i would hate it is Master denied me it. There are a few shows that i watch every week though (hawaii 5-0, CSI, Castle ) Sunce i am involved in those plotlines and of curse just have had the season enfdng cliffhangers. Him not letting me be able to see what happens would be very hard for me. Taking away my books that would be cruel I donr read ti live but i live to read. f course i am a sub not a slave so my mileage may vary. TALK to HIM is all i can tell you. Matt's littelone

Icarys -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/23/2011 10:07:34 AM)
quote: Anyway, it may just be that you've given so much over, this is where the dam breaks. I think that's really what she's saying here and maybe it has little to do with TV and or music or maybe it does.

NuevaVida -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/23/2011 10:10:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: Anyway, it may just be that you've given so much over, this is where the dam breaks. I think that's really what she's saying here and maybe it has little to do with TV and or music or maybe it does. It's certainly a possibility that might not be realized just yet. Not saying it IS the case, just a possibility to explore.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/23/2011 10:11:51 AM)
No TV and no music. Does no music also mean you're not allowed to listen to the radio? There's no way I could deal with something like that long term. I might accept it as a short term punishment as long as there was a working weather radio I was allowed to listen to. Of course, my situation may be different since I live in the US. Two days ago, a town 10 miles away from me was destroyed by a tornado.

OwnedFemaleFlesh -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/23/2011 10:37:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedbyPF It isn't that you flat out can't watch them, it's that you don't have the space and/or time to do it presently. It sounds like you work all day, come home, do the chores, and then have a couple of hours to relax... since that's all the time there is, HE chooses how that relaxation will be spent, he isn't going to use those couple of hours watching something that doesn't entertain him... he's the owner, and that's his perogative. So it isn't really that you aren't allowed, it's more that, at this particular point in your life, the available time you have doesn't allow for shows you want to watch. It isn't for the rest of your life, it's for this partiular time in your life. One other thing.. you mentioned giving up your job to move, selling your car, accepting being open if he wished and so on... I've found on occasion that I will have a melt down over something that really isn't a huge deal simply because it was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. In other words, it was just too much stripping away too fast and all of the sudden something that I would normally not consider an issue, is the one that's totally tripping me up. I talk to my Owner, he slows down my mental clutter, helps me take a breath and gets me realigned. Lol, he doesn't ever change what he cast to stone, but somehow, He just makes it all okay for me and that small item that had felt tremendous, no longer matters. Maybe this is one of those moments for you? ~s I think this is a really insightful post. I don't think he actually intends to completely deny me TV and music, he just thinks 'not now' but not now turns into never. And yes, some of that is circumstance, the hours I work, the amount of time I serve him, etc. But ultimately, it won't do me much good to keep thinking 'maybe next week' or next month, or maybe in a year when I qualify professionally... It's about dealing with my frustration now, and how to do that, which is why I'm trying to accept things as they are now, as a worse case scenario that maybe things aren't going to change back, maybe it will just stay like this from now on, and can I accept that and get used to it? I could try and squeeze in ten minutes here, twenty minutes there but it's not a great way to watch anything, and if it means we're spending less time together, or that I'm a less happy slave, that's not the direction that I want to move in. I'm thinking maybe it's just easier for me to give up TV now, than have, possibly, a lifetime of being annoyed by the lack of it. And yes, it possibly is the straw that broke the camel's back. I've adjusted to a lot of changes since we moved in at the start of the year. I have much less time to myself, and I've had to learn to make him my constant focus. A lot of the time I walk in from work, and just instantly start serving him. So I'll do a 12 hour day, followed by 3-4 hours of chores and then sit with him for an hour or two before I go to bed. And this is fine 6 days a week, and then on the 7th day I'll ask if I can watch something and he'll say no because he wants to watch Military Driving School or How It's Made, and I'll just want to scream! And yes, I could go into another room, read a book, or come online, but like I said, I don't want to spend less time together, or get into the habit of thinking that happiness = no Sir. Shouldn't happiness = more Sir, even if I'm not getting what I want? But at the same time it's hard having someone else's culture imposed on you all the time. Which brought me to my original post, and how other D/s couples deal with it. owned xxx

ResidentSadist -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/23/2011 12:14:00 PM)
You may like life without TV . . . I did. My slave and I spent quite a bit of time without a TV and loved it. When we wanted to watch a movie, we went to the theater of visited friends for a movie night. It affected our home life in a very positive way. We had friends over more often and played board games like Risk and Monopoly. Instead of going brain dead in front of the boob-tube we read to each other. I grew to like the Sherlock Holmes books in that period of time. All in all, we became more social with each other and our friends.

juliaoceania -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/23/2011 12:24:42 PM)
quote: We had friends over more often and played board games like Risk and Monopoly. Instead of going brain dead in front of the boob-tube we read to each other. I grew to like the Sherlock Holmes books in that period of time. All in all, we became more social with each other and our friends. I think you missed the part where she has to sit through the inane crap he enjoys

petmonkey -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/23/2011 2:18:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh Shouldn't happiness = more Sir, even if I'm not getting what I want? From what i've read here and what i've experienced, yes. However, from what i've read here and what i've experienced myself, happiness does not equal more Sir if the slave is not getting the relaxation, downtime and opportunity to express themselves through hobbies and interests they need. From what i can tell, most humans need that or they burn out and then freak out. The way you are describing your scheduled week, it kinda' doesn't sound like your getting a need met. Or that this particular part of the transition is going too fast, too much, or too soon. i could be reading it wrong. i think the suggestions centering around finding alternative activities while He's watching are the "current fix" answer you're looking for: productive activities that are unrelated to the thing you feel you're missing out on right now. Perhaps releasing worry over what the future holds and focus on the Now of the situation if you can. i couldn't give up all that you've given up. Perhaps it's shallowness, but i'd need someone who either liked some of the same cultural media as i or allowed me to indulge these interests on a regular basis. For me, i think this would be a compatibility issue discussed before i seriously involved myself with someone. i'm interested to see how you work this out for yourself, please keep us posted. : )

aromanholiday -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/24/2011 6:26:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: aromanholiday The real point of this thread is that giving up one's passions, whatever they may happen to be, is very hard to do, but slaves are often required to do this. I thought it was, but I don't think so now. When the OP replied to my post in which I addressed that very issue, she cut all of that part out of the quote and responded only to the television part. That's why I believe this thread was not about giving up anything but about seeking validation for her tv viewing habits which is fine, but asking for opinions and experiences, saying you will be grateful for them.. that's a bit disingenious. That said, there are others who will be reading and not posting, so hopefully, they skipped the side dish in my own post and went for the meat. The great majority of people respond to what interests them in the moment. It's not wise to load to much meaning into it, as we are all very different from one moment to the next: a thousand different people in a day. You can't predict what something you considered a "side dish" or embellishment or example will inspire in another's mind. That's why, obviously, if you have a very clear message to get across, you must discipline yourself to present only that message, without attractive but distracting garnishes. Additionally, it is quite apparent that "real point" of a thread is, in the majority of cases, not dictated by the OP. Even setting aside the frequent examples of extreme thread topic drift and flirtatious or ego stroking hijacking (I call the latter "primate non-physical grooming behavior"), the actual point of a thread emerges from an agreement, a consensus among a majority of posters as to what is the most interesting, salient, relevant, or "juicy" parts of the conversation. That doesn't mean these are the best points of the thread--for instance, majority opinion is seldom deep enough for the tastes of those who are careful thinkers--but it does tell you a lot about what people in a certain group think/obsess about most frequently or find most interesting. While I primarily seek from threads what you mentioned, the "meat," I find reading every response, no matter how... (well, insert your own word) to be useful in its own way; it's like taking the pulse of a messageboard, checking its eyes, listening to its heart.

ranja -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/24/2011 9:24:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh There is no reason for his removing my privileges. Like I said, I don't watch a lot and my chores come first. He just denies it because he wants to. He doesn't like my shows, he is the Dom, why shouldn't he control it? For me, why is not the issue, as I gave up that power when I became a slave. But the thought of a lifetime of never choosing to watch something on TV again is kind of daunting. have you tried begging? i don't think telly or music or books or films are any more important than the other, but for me music is the main entertainment (well sex actually, but music is next and dancing too) if he would forbid me to ever listen to music again... i would disobey him... i would disobey him too if he would decide i could never have sex again... (i would not consider giving up having orgasms forever either) but indeed i am no slave... ... allthough i'm a married housewife so some would consider me slave i suppose...

aromanholiday -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/24/2011 7:12:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I'm not saying the reason matters..it doesn't really. But if this is a new relationship for the OP then it might help the OP to understand her place better and her owner until they are more comfortable with one another and she can accept her life as property. In the beginning I think it's sort of important for reasons to be known until the slave is understanding of its Master and the slave settles into its new life. Now that I've been with Master for quite a few years now I can accept whatever it is without reason because I'm comfortable with him and as his slave. I know him enough to know that I can trust him. In the beginning however it did bother me a little and I did ask a few times for reasons. Thankfully he didn't mind answering me even if the answer was "because I find it entertaining". It helped me to deal with it in my own head and ask myself if I could like like this and what was more important to me. Obviously He is. [:)] Good point. Questions and reasons are pretty important at the beginning, they either build trust or make you want to slowly back out the door, although in many cases I think we are better off if that beginning stuff happens before the two people commit to a master/slave relationship (i.e. you can't slowly back out of a door that's now locked shut). When you don't know someone and you ask a question you can tell by their answer a little bit about how they think and perhaps something how they make decisions. And as you hear more reasons, you build up a larger picture of their thought processes. That's important information to know before you become a slave, not after it's a done deal.

tj444 -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/24/2011 7:24:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aromanholiday Good point. Questions and reasons are pretty important at the beginning, they either build trust or make you want to slowly back out the door, although in many cases I think we are better off if that beginning stuff happens before the two people commit to a master/slave relationship (i.e. you can't slowly back out of a door that's now locked shut). When you don't know someone and you ask a question you can tell by their answer a little bit about how they think and perhaps something how they make decisions. And as you hear more reasons, you build up a larger picture of their thought processes. That's important information to know before you become a slave, not after it's a done deal. Thats the thing, seems that people jump too fast into the fun stuff like sex/bdsm before getting to know each other well enough. When I first got into D/s I fell into that too but no more, I want to get to know someone as their equal, as friends first, then when we both see that we are compatible, then affection, love, domination/submission and sex will happen naturally.

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/24/2011 9:00:42 PM)
No one would take away my TV viewing or my music. Simple as that. If we don't agree on programming, then it's 2 televisions. You watch what you want, I'll watch what I want. It doesn't necessarily mean hours and days spent apart, it just means we have different opinions. I want to get to know someone first, as a friend then move on from there if we're compatible. But then I'm a submissive not a slave. And try to take my books away? Then you're just asking for trouble. I NEED my books. My chores will be done, my Dom will be looked after very well and I don't need to be punished or torn down to be re-built. I'm 48, I've managed to live without serious injury or death so far, and I think I've done a pretty good job. Not always an easy life, but I've pulled through. Yes, it'd be nice to have someone by my side who understand and accepts who I am but I won't settle, I'd rather be alone.

juliaoceania -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/24/2011 10:19:51 PM)
quote: My chores will be done, my Dom will be looked after very well and I don't need to be punished or torn down to be re-built. I think this is my resistance to such measures as controlling the things that relax me, etc.... Why would someone want to take away things I really enjoy, that I'd really miss, especially if I work so hard to please them in the first place. It is my resistance to the idea of TPE, because if I am telling someone that something makes me really unhappy, and their reaction is just "my way or the highway", I am probably taking the highway. Life is too short to spend it in ways that are frustrating. I would be very frustrated in such a situation. Just me, etc

agirl -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/25/2011 4:26:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh And yes, it possibly is the straw that broke the camel's back. I've adjusted to a lot of changes since we moved in at the start of the year. I have much less time to myself, and I've had to learn to make him my constant focus. A lot of the time I walk in from work, and just instantly start serving him. So I'll do a 12 hour day, followed by 3-4 hours of chores and then sit with him for an hour or two before I go to bed. And this is fine 6 days a week, and then on the 7th day I'll ask if I can watch something and he'll say no because he wants to watch Military Driving School or How It's Made, and I'll just want to scream! And yes, I could go into another room, read a book, or come online, but like I said, I don't want to spend less time together, or get into the habit of thinking that happiness = no Sir. Shouldn't happiness = more Sir, even if I'm not getting what I want? But at the same time it's hard having someone else's culture imposed on you all the time. Which brought me to my original post, and how other D/s couples deal with it. owned xxx I'm not sure I would find it at all easy either. Luckily I don't live with M so have plenty of time to do what I want when he's not around. Just as you don't want to sit through hours of his boring, uninteresting programmes, I'm sure you wouldn't want him to, either. Neither do you like the idea of spending the couple of hours you have together in separate rooms, that's understandable......but you may as well be, if he is absorbed in a TV programme that you detest and you're just sat beside him bored and frustrated. What is preventing you from finding music that you enjoy, loading up an MP3 playe and, snuggling beside him with headphones in? Yes, you're still in separate bubbles, so to speak, but at least you wouldn't be bored and you can both enjoying chill-out time in the ways that suit you both best. Ditto with the TV programmes....A laptop on your knees with headphones and you can curl up together, enjoying your own individual interests while in each other's company. It's not like actually being together ie. enjoying the same thing together but that doesn't seem to be an option for either of you because you simply don't enjoy the same things together in this respect. agirl

barelynangel -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/25/2011 4:39:10 AM)
That was a good catch that its the proverbial camel so to speak. OP, what does he say when you talk to him about it? If it is the proverbial camel so to speak, it means there is more going on that you need to address with him. Moving and moving in together, getting used to sharing your time and additionally, having your time controlled by someone else, and getting used to it all is hard and exhausting. I hope you are letting him know how stressed you are, because the more you keep posting, the more i see you blowing up over this TV thing because it sounds like its eating at you more and more. There are other things at work here, and you need to talk to him about your stress. Good luck, angel

sunshinemiss -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/25/2011 4:57:59 AM)
What's the proverbial camel? Trust in Allah but tie up your camel? That's the only one I know... and it sure doesn't seem appropriate here!

PdxJ -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/25/2011 5:23:16 AM)
Admittedly, I skipped several pages of this so excuse me if this was answered already but: Is he home 24/7 with you? If not, have you asked if you could either a) Tape the shows to watch while he's gone or B) Tevo them ? If you have asked that - why is this a discussion? If not - why not? I never restricted my slave from what she could listen to or watch when I wasn't home. When I am home, yes - what she views and listens to is very much limited.

barelynangel -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/25/2011 5:25:59 AM)
good grief, okay chalk it up to no coffee, long night and working while posting -- please substitute stick for camel. thank you.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Life Without TV? (5/25/2011 5:39:28 AM)
LOL - after I posted I thought... Oh wait.. maybe it's that ... straw that broke the camel's back thing? no worries. Enjoy your coffee!

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