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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 7:52:17 AM   
mnottertail


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In order to correctly interpret his comment we would have to know exactly what you did, and how you did it, what you were wearing,  and if you swallowed and all sorts of things.

The internet is not big enough.

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 7:57:57 AM   
mynxkat


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I'm going to go with the 'interpret the comment to your own best advantage'. He can't teach you anything about sex? That's because you showed him that you're more skilled than he is! And yes, sex IS a skill, and takes years of practice to get really good at it.

If you expected to hear from him again, and haven't, then go with 'he was intimidated by his demonstrated lack of skills' or 'your demonstrated superior skills'. If you didn't expect to hear from him again, then go with 'it was fun' and try to think of something that you did, in fact, learn from him. About sex or otherwise.

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 7:58:45 AM   
mnottertail


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Ja, warum nicht?  Ganz genug!!!!

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 8:01:38 AM   
mynxkat


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

In order to correctly interpret his comment we would have to know exactly what you did, and how you did it, what you were wearing,  and if you swallowed and all sorts of things.

The internet is not big enough.


I have to disagree somewhere here mnottertail. The ONLY way to be able to actually 'correctly' interpret his comment would be to ASK HIM. We could have a second by second rundown of exactly what was said and done, exact descriptions of any clothes, food, toys, or beverages involved, activities, etc, but unless you ask the person who made the comment to explain exactly what he meant, then any guesses you make about it, based on any data at all are just that- guesses.

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 8:03:06 AM   
Icarys


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Yes, go with what makes you feel better about yourself whether you know the truth or not. Works every time.


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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 8:05:27 AM   
mnottertail


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I see it the same, but nevertheless, the only possible way to have an outsider interpret (and I am using that in a strict sense which allows for guessing; correctness is not a demand placed upon that word to uphold).....

I just really want to know if she swallows.  

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 8:11:03 AM   
mynxkat


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I just really want to know if she swallows.  


*sigh* Men are pigs! Frequently lovable and quite cuddly, but just the same....

Icarys- In this situation, it seems to me that going with what makes the OP feel better is the BEST way to go. It's not like she's asking about some world shaking event, just that one comment that stuck in her mind. *shrugs*

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 8:13:45 AM   
Icarys


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quote:

Icarys- In this situation, it seems to me that going with what makes the OP feel better is the BEST way to go. It's not like she's asking about some world shaking event, just that one comment that stuck in her mind. *shrugs*

Lying to yourself is never the BEST way to go, mynxkat.
If she is worried over it then ask the fella if she can.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 8:15:00 AM   
juliaoceania


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nm

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 5/23/2011 8:16:53 AM >


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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 8:19:33 AM   
angelikaJ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zoe61

My friends, I am not stupid but seriously..why the judgemental stuff here in what should be an open forum?
"You were played.."..lol..Sweetheart, you dont know what 'played ' is..This man did not 'play' me. I knew from the get go that this was a sexual thing. I love sex and not every 'date' with a Dom is a chance at forever..We had discussed sex from day 1 and I was fine with that..Being 'played' is when he takes advantage or lies and the sub falls for it..He was a good man from a far away place..he flew in from europe on his way back to Cananda to take me to dinner ( a lovely restaurant) and then in mutual adult consent we went to his hotel and played I loved it..My simple question was just asking for clarification. Some responses here make me sound like the "poor widdle sub who didn't know what getting fucked is"...yikes Thank you and I understand again ad nauseum..But when a man flies into see me, takes me to a great dinner pays the check and from the start we knew it was sex..why reply as if you are thinking I'm a silly woman? I am 61 I was merely confused about his statement. Much appeciated but sometimes good people do sexy things lol
It amazes me that people who live an extreme lifestyle like BDSM respond as if they are filming "Leave it to Beaver"..


I won't interpret his silence necessarily as he wasn't in to you specifically or that he didn't have a good time.
He knew it was a self limiting relationship. He had his adventure and moved on.

If you feel flattered that he was happy to use his frequent flier miles and make a pit stop to drop by to meet you and buy you dinner and invite you back, then feel flattered by that.

I am glad your feelings aren't hurt. No one was trying to insult you by suggesting you were being played by him.
The fact is new people are often played.

As for the comment, yup, take it to your best advantage: is there any reason not too?

edit: typo

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 5/23/2011 8:20:43 AM >


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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 8:20:09 AM   
CynthiaWVirginia


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

What more is there you feel the need to know? How are we going to know what he meant anymore than you did? This isn't the psychic BDSM hotline here


I laughed myself into a queasy tummy ache over that part of your post, lol. 

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 8:21:58 AM   
LaTigresse


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Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zoe61

My friends, I am not stupid but seriously..why the judgmental stuff here in what should be an open forum?
"You were played.."..lol..Sweetheart, you dont know what 'played ' is..This man did not 'play' me. I knew from the get go that this was a sexual thing. I love sex and not every 'date' with a Dom is a chance at forever..We had discussed sex from day 1 and I was fine with that..Being 'played' is when he takes advantage or lies and the sub falls for it..He was a good man from a far away place..he flew in from Europe on his way back to Cananda to take me to dinner ( a lovely restaurant) and then in mutual adult consent we went to his hotel and played I loved it..My simple question was just asking for clarification. Some responses here make me sound like the "poor widdle sub who didn't know what getting fucked is"...yikes Thank you and I understand again ad nauseum..But when a man flies into see me, takes me to a great dinner pays the check and from the start we knew it was sex..why reply as if you are thinking I'm a silly woman? I am 61 I was merely confused about his statement. Much appreciated but sometimes good people do sexy things lol
It amazes me that people who live an extreme lifestyle like BDSM respond as if they are filming "Leave it to Beaver"..


Pot meet kettle.

You didn't put enough information in your original post to avoid others making assumptions. As a 61 yo, you should have long ago learned that the clearer the communication, the better the results. You've now got two good examples of piss poor communication not getting the desired result. The subject of your OP and your introduction to the topic on this thread. Take it as a life lesson,learn from it, and move on.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 5/23/2011 8:23:22 AM >


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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 8:23:58 AM   
mynxkat


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Might be right that she did ask him. Now, this bit is just MY opinion, and YMMV, but if it was me in the situation the OP described, I wouldn't try to get in touch with him to ask about that, as it would make me appear to be (in my own eyes, if nowhere else) exactly the kind of clingy, needy female that everyone sees FAR too much of, that thinks that a simple evening of previously stated just for fun sex equals a 'this is my ONE!!!eleventy' relationship.

The most likely correct interpretation is that he was just looking for some bullshit line to get him off the hook in case the female in question went and got all clingy on him, mistaking a fun night of fun for something more serious. In this case, the OP can put any damn spin she wants onto the comment, to suit herself, and it's not really lying.

Note that I did not say the only correct interpretation, but only the most likely.


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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 8:36:26 AM   
Icarys


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quote:

the OP can put any damn spin she wants onto the comment, to suit herself, and it's not really lying.

It is a lie unless she knows the truth. I don't see the need to tell yourself a lie unless there's an insecurity issue. Treat it for what it was. Sex and move on.

Don't make up stories about it.


< Message edited by Icarys -- 5/23/2011 8:37:31 AM >


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 9:45:33 AM   
Rochsub2009


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If it was "just sex", then who cares what he meant by it?  Frankly, none of us have any idea what he meant.  We're just random people on the internet.  Since none of us were there, we can't possibly have more insight into the matter than you do.

But based on the fact that you asked the question in the first place, I get the feeling that you are not as aloof about the encounter as you try to make it seem.  But of course, only you know for sure. 

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 9:58:11 AM   
OwnedFemaleFlesh


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IMO, you were too knowledgable, good at and hungry for sex. Some men, some European men (you don't say what part of Europe though) have this thing where they need to see themselves as the sexually adept Casanova stalking and trapping their flushed and trembling prey. They want to feel that they coaxed you, the wide eyed, prim and proper 'lady' into surrendering to their manly charms, unleashing your sexual side and surrendering to an earth-shaking, knee trembling multiple orgasm, caused entirely by them. When you're up for it, good at it and not intimidated by them, it actually throws them off their stride a little. They start to wonder if they're all that good at it, maybe you've had better. Maybe all their lovers have had better. And then they have to run away.

We're used to thinking, in the west, that it's good to be so sexually eager and out there. But some men actually prefer it if the woman is not so into sex, doesn't really want it, or isn't very good at it. It makes them feel like 'the man'.

owned xxx

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 10:17:00 AM   
windchymes


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This might be a shock, so sit down.....there are a lot of nutty people on the internet.

IMO, the most likely scenario is that he had this little fantasy playing in his head all along, he enjoyed the online dialog, maybe he had a vision of himself as the all-powerful great and wise one and that he would sweep you off your feet and show you all kinds of new and wonderful sexual techniques. And what great fun, taking a detour on the way back from Canada to meet you and carry you away on his white horse. Then you met, he got a little, it wasn't the earth-shattering experience he thought it was going to be, his rose-colored glasses fell off, and he justified it in his own mind by making it about him, and he went on back to his ordinary life in Europe, probably with the wife & kids.

It happens, no big deal, plenty more out there

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 10:26:37 AM   
tazzygirl


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quote:

I just really want to know if she swallows. 


I only swallow the one's I love.

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 11:28:45 AM   
sexyred1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

IMO, you were too knowledgable, good at and hungry for sex. Some men, some European men (you don't say what part of Europe though) have this thing where they need to see themselves as the sexually adept Casanova stalking and trapping their flushed and trembling prey. They want to feel that they coaxed you, the wide eyed, prim and proper 'lady' into surrendering to their manly charms, unleashing your sexual side and surrendering to an earth-shaking, knee trembling multiple orgasm, caused entirely by them. When you're up for it, good at it and not intimidated by them, it actually throws them off their stride a little. They start to wonder if they're all that good at it, maybe you've had better. Maybe all their lovers have had better. And then they have to run away.

We're used to thinking, in the west, that it's good to be so sexually eager and out there. But some men actually prefer it if the woman is not so into sex, doesn't really want it, or isn't very good at it. It makes them feel like 'the man'.

owned xxx


Boy, is that sad and pathetic.

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)
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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 12:51:08 PM   
Iamsemisweet


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You win a few, you lose a few, Zoe. Oh well. Sounds like you have a great attitude about the situation.

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The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
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